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Finally got a date out of Tinder last night, my first date with a woman in over five years. I didn't think the date was going so well, but after getting coffee, she did want to go to a bar with me, so I thought that things couldn't have been going too bad since she wanted to hang out some more. After the bar, though, when I asked for her number, she said, "I'll send it to you on Tinder," and I knew she wasn't interested. Sure enough, she messages me this morning saying that while she doesn't see any romance here, that she would like to be friends.
Since I see this happening quite a bit with Tinder, what's the best way for me to say, "Being friends with a single girl who I am attracted to is not a great idea for me and usually makes me feel like shit?"
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>>17982019
Say it just like that.
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Meh just delete her, she is just being nice to you.
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>>17982019
Just tell her that and never see her again.
She probably wants to be "friends" because she knows you're attracted to her and she wants to use you.
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So I was dating this girl for like a month and things were going pretty well. We both liked each other. Then she just stopped responding to my texts. Since we were only a month in and I wasn't attached I just stopped trying to contact her and let it lie. I thought it was fucked up and rude, but whatver. I sent her two texts before I stopped trying to contact her. Wasn't like I was desperately trying to get a hold of her. So yeah that's how it ended.
Then a few weeks ago she added me out of the blue on Snapchat. This leads me to believe she wants to get back together but who knows. We'd known each other for a matter of weeks. Wasn't like we built up this great friendship in such a short period of time.
Does she want me back? What do I do? Swallow my pride and try to get back with her even though she ignored me and it made me mad? Brush it off and move on?
She had told me previously that she hates texting but it's not like I was doing it a lot. Maybe once every few days.
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Sounds like she just missed a couple texts. She might still want to be friends or more.
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>>17982021
The reason I've been hesitant to get in contact with her since she added me is that fear of her not responding. I'd look so stupid.
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Any insight from a girl on what is going through this girl's mind would be appreciated
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I am a loner. I have no ambitions, I have no goals, I'm comfortable when I have just the few things I need, cigarettes, something little to eat everyday and having somewhere to sleep. Everything else is just a bonus. I have no desires for expensive cars, honorous apartments or high end electronics. I'm all okay with current state of mine, even though I have not much money, but I guess that's normal when you are at college. The thing is I really don't even have any motivation to keep trying to provide for these needs of mine. All my life I've been just flowing through. It was no happy go lucky, but I never really had any greater obstacles on my way.
But all the time I felt that I don't have any real reasons to live just for myself. It seems pointless to me. Why bother trying, why wake up in the morning to go to work if you don't need anything. It only ever changes when I have anyone to be there for. I only had one "relationship" in my life. When I was 19 I met a girl online, we "fell in love" with each other over texts. Never in my life I felt better. There was goodmorning text for me every morning. There was someone who cared about you and you had someone to care about. Life had meaning, life had purpose. For a year life didn't feel like an empty bubble. We broke up after few times we've met. And it was all gone again. Since I came to college I've been sleeping around with girls, but it's just as empty as everything else. Like mdma. It's beautiful when it lasts but it's a false happiness. Atleast for me. I can't be with anyone. I need someone who is atleast a bit like me and it's really not easy to find someone that you could really love, not just superficially. I've met a girl about year ago, who would be just the right one, but she is a lesbian. She loves me just as I love her, but it's really a brother sister relationship. It's great to have her but it's not fulfilling and the knowing of that we will never be together is tearing me inside.
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>>17981985
Tl;dr
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>>17981988
cool
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if you do a lot of drugs, then stop doing that or cut down. the post-mdma state especially makes you even more prone to feeling how you're feeling about your life
i'd wish i could give you more advice, but even with a pretty average look, i'm still a virgin at 21
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I don't usually go to /adv/, but I figured I'd ask for some advice since I feel sick to my stomach. I've been head over heels over this girl I met three years, and a year ago during break we stayed up many nights together just getting fucked up and talking, but nothing ever came of it. She had a boyfriend, and still does, and I didn't quite understand what the deal was, so I didn't do anything and just let it go. Tried not to care, since she lived far away from my school and I only saw her when I visited the area once in a while.
Now, I visited recently and she was constantly texting me to see me. It was a bit overwhelming. I felt like this was the same song and dance as before, and I was not very enthusiastic about it. I turned her down one night and, in a drunken stupor while begging me to come out, she said she she would not forgive herself if she hadn't told me how she truly felt. I asked about her boyfriend, and she gave some vague answer about not giving a shit. The following night, we hooked up for hours like a bunch of teenagers, but I didn't fuck her b/c of logistical reasons.
I really wish I could start this friendship over, but it's too late for that now. I just wish she'd clear up what the deal is with her boyfriend (who she seems to not care about). I want her to explain herself some more, and what her feelings are for me, and how strong. She said that she just wanted to fuck "with no attachments" in her drunken texts, but I have a feeling she just said that because I was being very avoidant and was denying her advances. Any advice on how to clarify this situation?
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>>17981966
Call and ask.
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>>17981986
I can't really do that, I don't think I can handle talking on the phone about it
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>>17982011
You want a relationship with her but you can't even talk to her?
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So, im at my witts end with my bf and our sex life.
He sucks at foreplay. A lot. And not because he is inconsiderate or doesn't care if i am enjoying myself or not. He clearly does.
But he is immune to me giving him pointers, hints, positive reinforcement and even flat out tell him what to do. He does what i suggest for maybe 15 seconds then never does it again untill i tell him to do it again. This is tyring and not very satisfying. And we have been dating since more than a year. He had enough time to "learn".
What do i do now?
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tell him he's a retard and listen to your advice more.
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>>17981916
Seems a bit rude.
Is there no other way than to flat out tell him to listen better and apply what i tell him? I don't want to crush his confidence in his sexual abilities...
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You need to stop accepting it when he does this. You tell him to do it x way instead of y. He starts doing x. Within seconds he does y. Pull away and go "no no wait, you're doing y again".
As long as it takes until he gets the point.
Also is there any reason to believe he doesn't actually want to follow your pointers? What kind of tips are you talking about?
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>Post new profile pic or song on FB
>Barely any likes, if any, despite having 200+ friends
>Post pic or concert video on instagram
>Get no more than 5 likes despite having 100+ followers
>Someone else posts a pic of a donut and get 79 likes
I really never gave a damn about social media, but what gives? I wasn't a popular guy in hs, but goddamn, I'd at least expect some pity likes from family or something.
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That sucks, who cares if they don't like it, OP, as long as your happy about posting for yourself?
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>Make post pissed off about lack of Facebook likes
>Makes post that only gets 2 posts until it dies
You're just cursed bro.
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>>17981886
Do you post a lot. Some people find that annoying.
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So there's this guy I've been seeing the last few weeks. We seemed to really like each other, but there's a couple other guys I've been seeing also. He asked me over to his apartment. We cuddled on his couch and it led to sex. He also let me stay the night. In the morning I left, then later that day texted him, letting him know that there's other guys I've been talking to also, but that I only had sex with him, and I wanted to be honest with him. Which is true, I haven't had sex with the other guys I'm talking to. He replied back saying that it's fine if there's other guys I want to see, stating that "we had fun last night, but you're not obligated to only see me exclusively."
So basically, it sounds like he doesn't care if I go an fuck other guys. I know we've only known each other a few weeks, but it feels weird. Maybe I was hoping he'd come begging for me to have me all to himself. What should I do /adv/?
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Are you fucking twelve?
He assumed you told him because you want other dick too so he tried to not sound clingy.
You fucked up.
Dumb cunt.
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>>17981884
If you want to be exclusive, tell him.
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>>17981884
>Maybe I was hoping he'd come begging for me to have me all to himself.
how would you react if he was dating other girls?
Anonymous
Broke up with my girlfriend due to depression 2017-01-22 07:11:56 Post No.17981834
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Broke up with my girlfriend due to depression
Anonymous
2017-01-22 07:11:56
Post No. 17981834
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I broke up with my gf of 3 months last night. For the past few weeks I've been suffering from depression, anxiety and obsessive thinking. There were times when I felt like I didn't love her or wasn't physically attracted to her and I kept thinking that if I feel that way, that means I need to let her go and allow her to find someone who will truly make her happy. Once I realized I was depressed again, I began feeling like I was being a burden and I should be alone. Sex was followed by feelings of guilt and her touch gradually made me uncomfortable. She came over to sleep at my place on Friday and I felt nothing that night. I couldn't kiss her, show any affection, or have sex. We went to sleep and didn't talk at all in the morning. At that point, I realized that she knew something was wrong and I had to end it.
We've met last evening to talk, but as soon as I've began my voice broke. Even though I was the one breaking up, I was a complete wreck and couldn't stop crying. I tried to be clear, but looking back I wasn't making that much sense. I told her how depressed I felt and how confused I was about my feelings. How I felt I was falling in love with her, but every time I did, something was blocking me. How much I liked her, but felt more like a friend than a lover.
She took it much better than me, but I think part of it was a facade. She kept quiet and didn't really look at me. At one point she teared up a bit and mentioned how absurd it is that her last boyfriend was also suffering from depression. We both laughed for a bit, talked about remaining friends and I hugged her and thanked her for all she did for me. She thanked me for telling her about how I felt and that I didn't keep her in the dark. She asked me to go into therapy and we both wished that one another would be happy. Before we split, I hugged her once more, thanked her and apologized for everything I've done. As she was walking back, I kept staring at her till she left my view.
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Initially I was feeling relief. I was glad it was over and felt like I made the right choice.
But since I woke up today, I've been a complete wreck. I've lost appetite, kept crying all day and can't stop thinking about her.
We didn't text since we broke up up last night and I've been missing her good morning/good night texts like crazy.
For weeks I felt cold and unresponsive. For weeks I felt guilt and felt scared at the thought of sex. I felt like I checked out and was ready to move on. But now I'm not sure anymore. I really miss her and can't tell if that means I truly did love her, or if I'm just scared and lonely. I really want to text her, but I don't want to add any more confusion, as she has exams right now.
Now I wonder if I wasn't to hasty to end it. Perhaps rather than breaking up, I should have asked her for a break and go into therapy. Or waited till I was feeling better, rather than make this decision when I was feeling particularly low. Last night she began saying that "perhaps when I sort all this out, in a few months or years..." but she didn't finish. And I keep wondering that maybe if I go into therapy and resolve my issues I could learn to truly love her.
What should I do /adv/?
Should I go no contact and stick to my original decision? We talked about remaining friends for now and that we should still keep in touch. But I don't know how long should I wait before doing that. Despite being in my late 20's this is my first relationship and I have no idea how to behave.
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First and foremost, what's important right now is yourself and your health. If it's not healthy for you to be in a relationship while trying to navigate your depression, so be it. Take the time you need to figure things out and learn to manage it. If you truly care about her and really want her in your life, include her on your journey in learning how to manage this depression. Being in a relationship means it'll be messy sometimes and scary and painful. Getting through things together will make you both stronger if that's the path you choose and she chooses. Personally, I was in a relationship before as well and we both suffered from varying forms of depression. I wish my SO and I could've worked things out together. Best wishes to you anon. Don't forget you're stronger than you feel.
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>>17981871
Thank you anon. Truth is I'm still confused about what I feel for her and that's the root of the problem. Things were initially great at the beginning and I only decided to pursue a relationship because I didn't have an episode in years.
To offer some more background, at some point I realized that I still found other women attractive and I've began obsessing whether I was physically attracted to her, or whether she was sufficiently attractive as a long term partner.
This obsession became unhealthy. One moment I could look at her and find her beautiful, the next I would focus on all minor flaws of hers and find her physically repulsive. For years I struggled with feeling ugly and unattractive (even though objectively there's nothing wrong with my body) and for whatever reason I ended up projecting the same feelings onto her.
This and the fact that I would still desire other women made me feel extremely guilty. I wanted to look only at her, but I couldn't. I knew it was shallow and I began to hate myself that I couldn't look past something so insignificant and minor. The fact that I still fantasized about other women made me doubt whether I truly cared for her at all and whether I loved her, or was just enjoying being with a woman. I began to fear what would happen if I had a chance to sleep with someone else and I was paranoid that I would end up cheating on her and hurt her.
This is what eventually led to full on depression. No other girl ever treated me so well and yet I couldn't fully appreciate her. So I don't want to paint myself as a victim here. As much as I miss her, I don't really know if I even deserve to be with her when all this time, in the back of my head I had all these shallow thoughts.
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I'm really traumatized 26 year old guy I have aspergers. Socially awkward and to this day never had a girlfriend. But I've had the strongest crush on my older sister for years.
My mom and dad favored her and my older brother. My parents never had much time to hang out with us. But my sister who was 5 years older than me was my hero. She taught me how to play video games and ride a bike. But nothing ever sexual happened between us. I don't feel she knows about how I've been secretly in love with her for years now. In my childhood 2 incidents happen that make me feel like I was "cuckolded" by my sister, I'll call her Caroline.
First was the most traumatic. I was 11 years old and Caroline was 16 in high school. I heard what I thought was her screaming in her bedroom one night but she really was having sex with her boyfriend. I rushed in to try and help her but the boyfriend started attacking me and beat me up. Caroline was embarrassed and yelled at me to get out of there. I never talked to her about it since but it really hurt me. It's also what started my sexual feelings towards her and unlocked a repressed memory.
When I was around 9 I remember a time when I caught Caroline and my brother naked together in my brothers room. Apparently they had been showering together after going swimming. This has lead me to believe they were sleeping together. My brother was 17 at the time and Caroline was 14. He's the opposite of me an alpha male that gets all the girls. Looking back I feel jealous at my brother and the boyfriend. I feel "cuckolded".
To be clear I don't want to be cuckolded in real life but it's a fantasy I'm curious about. Why does it turn me on to be sexually teased by my sister? Is it because I'm a virgin at 26? Is it because I transferred an Oedipus complex from my mom onto Caroline but it's happening in my adult life instead of age 4 like most guys? Should I talk to Caroline about this?
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>>17981788
Bump
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>>17981788
>#whitepeople
Not even a meme
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>>17981788
You can't be cuckolded if you aren't even in a relationship.
Anonymous
I have no clue what to think of this 2017-01-22 06:37:42 Post No.17981727
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I have no clue what to think of this 2017-01-22 06:37:42 Post No.17981727
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I have no clue what to think of this
Anonymous
2017-01-22 06:37:42
Post No. 17981727
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>be me
>start texting this girl
>one day, same rom hugs all of my friends except me.
>stops me to talk; same-day text her never responded to this day (I knew she was busy but still)
>give up/trie something new
>same place half the people are sitting other half up ask me I want sit next to her;say no
>fast forward, cafeteria sitting next to my friends comes over and sits next to me(never happened before)
I don't know if shes into me or not.
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Go to her house, and rape her father while singing the Pokémon theme song.
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Try raping her father
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>>17981727
Have you tried raping her father with a pool stick?
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I'm starting my new job tomorrow. I'm known to worry too much and rush myself at workplaces. How do I not mess this one up? I am going to make awnings and before this I did retail + fast food if that matters.
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>>17981726
Get a real job
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>>17981914
Like what?
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>>17982199
like being a office cuck xDDDD
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I'm a useless, insecure, and pathetic individual (think /r9k/ personified). Whenever I hear people talking about or meet men that are better than me, I get triggered. And when I get triggered I get snappy and moody and pour out my feelings and bring whomever I'm talking to down by bitching about how much I hate myself.
An online friend of mine described one of his previous (gay) lovers to me. The guy is:
>Taller
>Has the looks of a model (saw a picture as proof)
>A huge cock almost twice as big as mine (also saw a picture of this as proof, it's really nice ;_;)
>Moved out of his parents' house to another city and has a nice apartment
>Has a good job
>Has an IRL social life
>Gets laid a lot (male and female)
And, on top of all this, he's several years younger than me. Barely even 20. I'm almost 30.
When I read all of this shit I just got super bitter and salty. How do I stop caring and accept my place? How do I stop getting triggered like some Tumblrina?
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Why dont you try harder if youre envious of someone else achievements
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>>17981695
Well, a lot of the achievements like looks and dick size are unachievable. And even if I achieve them, I'll be only a fraction as 'successful' as him despite being so much older. How do I get out of this mindset?
No reply until now because the shitty Update button said there were no new posts even though there apparently were.
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>>17982151
Adblockers do that on /adv/ for some reason. Have to manually refresh.
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>haven't gotten laid in a few years
>not attractive enough for hookup-type flings
>don't wanna waste my early 20's NOT getting laid
>have (mostly) no problems talking to women
>wouldn't mind at all having a steady GF
>just not sure if I'd want all the potential stress
>all these conflicting feelings
wat do /adv/
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Well, does not have a fiver that does not have a fiver that does not have a fiver
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>>17981655
Of the app does app app that is not a game that does app is does not have a fiver that game game app does not the trick
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>>17981672
>>17981666
I need to know what the hell happened to me.
>be me
>2 hours ago
>eating breakfast
>start to feel really nervous
>start to get hot as well
>get up to get a glass of water
>body feels heavy and slow
>I feel as if I'm dreaming, nothing looks or feels real to me
>drink water and go step outside to cool off
>come back in feeling better
>have a slight headache and am worried about what the fuck happened to me.
This genuinely scared me and I actually thought I was dying for a bit.
Also, I don't know if it matters, but I'm 18 and am overweight at 213 pounds. I try to eat healthy foods but I do eat like shit sometimes. Any help or information would be greatly appreciated.
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>>17981630
panic attack
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>>17981633
Okay, is there anything I can do for treatment or whatever?
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>>17981670
you could see your family doctor/general practitioner/primary care physician
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How do I stop being gay?
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>>17981600
Stop watching gay porn or really porn with men. It should help at least a bit.
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Can't change it, at birth your hormones didn't align to the proper function required for furthering your species.
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>>17981600
You can't. Are you totally gay, or do you have some attraction (ie, bisexual) to other women?