Hey everyone. I'm friendless and I'm trying to change that. The thing is, I have typically male interests so I tend to make more male friends. I used to have a boyfriend so this wasn't a problem, but I think the men I meet might like me in another way. I'm lonely and like talking to people, and I don't want my friendliness to make them think I might be interested in them romantically. Like, I don't want to lead them on. Before you say it, no, I wouldn't do confusing stuff like touching them or whatever, I really just mean I'm friendly. I started talking to some men I met at an event, and they flatter me a lot, and I don't want them to get the wrong idea... Is there anything I can do about this?
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>>17986805
you can pretend to have a boyfriend, or to be a lesbian or simply just tell them early on you arent interested in dating them. all of these come with drawbacks obviously.
and thats kinda the point im making here is that this is your cross to bare. nothing you can really do about it. everything has some drawback. this is yours.
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>>17986805
Try to meet gay males
The bottomline is heterosexual male friends will try/want to fuck you.
It's simply biological needs, sorry
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>>17986899
I'd rather not lie since I'd like to make friends if possible. It seems kind of mean to tell them I'm not interested in dating them out of nowhere. It's not like they're asking me out, I just get that feeling from the way they talk to me. I feel kinda bad about it but I guess it's just the way it is.
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My best friend has been going through a period of "cutting out the fat" in his social life, mostly due to the influence of his girlfriend of two years, who is very much a private person. This pretty much entails cutting off toxic people, people of little use, and old exes that still pop their heads up now and then.
Recently he's expressed how weird it is that some of his friends are still friends with some of his exes. It weirds his current girlfriend out a lot. He has said that while of course he would prefer that I'm not connected with those exes on Facebook, he admitted he can't tell me what to do.
Fast forward a few months, and his girlfriend receiving a Facebook recommendation to friend his ex because of the connection through me and others weirds her out enough for him to approach me and regretfully ask if I could unfriend the ex. Current girlfriend is very important to him and he was in danger of fucking up the relationship in the past and he is deathly afraid of losing her, and wants to avoid any and all bad situations. While I am not super-close with the ex anymore, she is a good person and I like having her available, and she recently extended her emotional support to me when I had a misfortune come up, so I do not feel right just cutting her out. I have never unfriended anybody on Facebook in my life, and feel that one never knows who they might be glad they're still connected with.
I refused to unfriend his ex, and offered the compromise of just deactivating my Facebook, since I was disenfranchised with it in general. This seemed to suffice but it's become clear that he is not really satisfied with it, and has even expressed that he is a little hurt, since I am his best friend. I feel a subtle gap between us has now formed.
So am I in the wrong?
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>>17986803
That request of his is totally inappropriate. You can't ask that of someone.
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>>17986810
I do agree, but I am generally understanding when people try to make a case to me, and as demanding as the request was, I understood his feelings behind it. Yet I couldn't go through with it.
In his perspective, if the ex isn't that big a part of my life, then it shouldn't make a difference to me. But I am morally opposed to it.
So at this point I either remain as I am, deactivated, or re-activate and do what he asked, which is probably too little too late. Or, cut *him* off, which I don't really want to do.
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>>17986814
Or re-activate and remain connected to his ex, which will probably spur him to distance himself from me or even cut me off, which I would be sad to see happen.
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How can I get my normal and nice bf to sleep around? I know it's weird, but I'm totally into it.
I've started asking if there are other girls he thinks are attractive, and he's getting defensive. I think he thinks this is all some shit test or something. How do I make this happen without scaring him off or freaking him out?
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By telling him straight up what you want and why you want it instead of hinting or tip toeing around.
But you can't make him be into things he isn't. Believe it or not, some guys only want to fuck their partner.
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Do what most people do.
Keep your socially-unacceptable fetish to yourself and don't inflict it on others.
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>>17986815
This. End thread!
Anonymous
I want to become a Barber 2017-01-24 04:07:25 Post No.17986760
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I want to become a Barber 2017-01-24 04:07:25 Post No.17986760
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I want to become a Barber
Anonymous
2017-01-24 04:07:25
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I'm really considering talking up Barbering. Barbering is a dying industry, but it doesn't have to be. I see a lot of potential, at least where I live. I've noticed that there are very few actual barber shops anymore. And many of the ones that are around are owned by really old guys, because they've been doing it forever, and a lot of them are going to be retiring soon. And a side note, whenever I've visited an "older guy's" barber shop, it's always full of old men, and I feel very alienated, and unsure about how well the barber will cut my hair, as he might not be well versed in more modern hair styles. Or it's younger guys, and they usually work for bigger chain barber shops, and those can by quite busy, and less personal (they're usually in malls). I happen to live in quite a small town, and there's only 2 barbers in town, both relatively young (early 30s). I go to one of them. There's something about having a barber you go to regularly, who doesn't even have to ask you what you want, they just know how to cut your hair, it feels good. I've also read on how barber shops are a big part of male identity, as through out history they'be been a place of male camaraderie and solace. My barber can be quite busy because he's one of the few in the region, and he gets all the business from all the neighboring towns without barbers themselves. So tell me what's the Barber situation like where you live, and can you see a demand or use for more Barber shop? If you don't go to a barber, would you go to one more often if there we're more of them? Please let me know. Thanks.
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>>17986760
For me personally I see getting my hair cut as an inconvenient necessity. I'll either go to any local salon or get my mother in law to do it.
That being said though, if you've got real passion for it, and you're ok with something like this taking up your whole life, fucking go for it lad
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>>17986760
The world will always need barbers, and the kind of personal 'small-town' service you picture will be very attractive to many.
You will never get rich, you will work long hours (on your feet, with your arms at an unnatural level), and you will have all the retail headaches of dealing with asshole customers.
But you will be doing something you like and will earn a respectable living.
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>>17986760
JUST
Anonymous
What does it mean to "take it slow" before a relationship? 2017-01-24 04:01:14 Post No.17986748
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What does it mean to "take it slow" before a relationship? 2017-01-24 04:01:14 Post No.17986748
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What does it mean to "take it slow" before a relationship?
Anonymous
2017-01-24 04:01:14
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About an hour ago I came back from hanging out with a great friend I wanted to gf.
We're super fucking tight together and enjoy each other's presence. To give background, I was her first kiss and she has never been in a romantic relationship before. She's a little awkward, so I can see how that's possible, but we're both quite open to each other. I can get her out of her bubble.
When I dropped her off at her place, we kissed again, and I asked if she'd be my girlfriend. She knew this was coming, so she immediately answered "I don't know, I don't want to jump into it right away. I wanna take it slow."
I said that's respectable, smiled, and went on my way. I wasn't really sad just disappointed really.
What does it mean to want to take it slow? Can someone elaborate on it?
I plan to not initiate conversation any time soon. I'll just let her analyze whatever she has to, and of she hits me up to shoot the shit, we'll take it from there as a couple of friends.
What can I do now?
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>>17986748
its not a good sign. there are women who will say this for years amd come up with more and more excuses.
at the very least it means shes not sure if she likes you. andi f shes not sure yet she probably wont later.
in some cases the girl just likes the tension, which isnt wrong, i like the tension to so when i court a girl i take it slow while still making deliberate moves. but having made moves too early you might have ruined it.
etiher way it wasnt looking good. wait aorund and see what happensi f you want but dont wait forever
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>>17986764
Yeah. A friend I keep updated on this said I likely made the move too early.
I guess I'll just do what I always do. Take it as a loss unless she initiates something about it.
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>>17986771
not a bad mindset. sucks when this happens. if shes never dated as you say, it might not be too late to fix it, but generally if a girls into you shes into you.
Anonymous
People make fun of me for my 2017-01-24 04:00:31 Post No.17986746
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People make fun of me for my 2017-01-24 04:00:31 Post No.17986746
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People make fun of me for my
Anonymous
2017-01-24 04:00:31
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I wanna be an aircraft technician, and maybe study navigation. It takes 3 years tops. And it's a decent job market because most of the people are old-ish and aviation is only becoming more and more popular.
My mom and sisters say it's a mans job but it's really interesting to me.
Would a guy be thrown off by this? That I wanna be just a maintenance worker?
I love planes, lol.
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Who cares.
Do what makes you happy.
Actually knowing what you want to do with your life is more than half the battle.
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Nobody cares. I see as many females in construction as men today.
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>>17986750
/thread
OP, nobody is gonna think less of you for having a job that you actually enjoy. That's sick. Congratulations
Whats a good method of learning a new language without paying for expensive classes/ programs?
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>>17986730
good and expensive go hand in hand.
unless you're one hell of a student learing on your own with just a book isn't going to happen. its a language after all.
invest in a cheap class. without someone to actually teach you you wont get answers to quesitons, and you will have them cuz language is weird. plus no one can fix pronunciation
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>>17986730
Doulingo and watch some shows on that language with subtitles to immerse yourself. Maybe start off with something simple like kids shows
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Move to a country where they speak it.
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So, this might be little long, but I'm gonna try to keep it as short as I can. I have a close friend from high school who has been friends with me for 7 years. After ending a toxic, long-term relationship, we started talking more and started getting sexually involved. We've had sex a few times and I think I'm starting to catch feelings for him, even though we're basically fwb. HOWEVER,I know he hasn't treated girls all that well in the past. I do know that he doesn't mind getting into a relationship, though, because he almost did not too long ago. I also don't know that he would feel the same way about me. I want to tell him how I feel, but idk if I should and how I should do it. What should I do? I feel really lost.
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>>17986702
Nope. You are not thinking straight. If you were in a long relationship that just ended, you should take several months off from dating. You need to separate yourself and regain your individuality. If you do not, you will be destined to find the same toxicity.
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>>17986702
there's no right answer. tell him and maybe lose what you got... or mabye get something better.
but try to find out if you're feelings are even good. its easy to get feelings for someone you have sex with but htat doesn't mean you should date them. oncei t becoems a relationship that magic is often lost.
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>>17986710
it's been about two months. how much time should i take off from dating?
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Sup /adv/. So I have these things called pvc's with my heart that sometimes makes it beat an extra time but it's a small, weak beat. I would never feel them though. I'm on beta blockers that make them go away but whenever I smoke weed I can feel my heart racing (which is normal with ganja.) I know that no one has ever died from marijuana but I sometimes get a feeling in my chest near where my heart is and I just start bugging out that my heart could have multiple pvc's in a row and I could go into cardiac arrest or something. Should I just keep toking and ignore it or should I be concerned?
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>>17986685
Geez, why are you taking a chance?
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I'd stop smoking
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>I know that no one has ever died from marijuana
>no one
Did your schools really never teach you about the dangers of tautologies?
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There is a visible difference between not working out at all and doing 15 pushups every day.It does not sound like much but it makes a huge long term difference to not working out. It does not take long and it makes a visible difference. If you struggle with 15, do 10. If 15 make you smile do 20.
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>P.M. crash at school or work?
Push-ups.
>Commercial break?
Push-ups.
>Waiting on your next Dota/CSGO/Overwatch match?
Push-ups.
It's a great exercise that helps you look and feel good. It costs no money.
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Put your knees on the ground if you need to. Elevate your feet if you want a challenge.
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Do more push-ups.
Anonymous
So-so relationship with parents 2017-01-24 03:07:37 Post No.17986644
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So-so relationship with parents 2017-01-24 03:07:37 Post No.17986644
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So-so relationship with parents
Anonymous
2017-01-24 03:07:37
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Let me start by saying that I am a 34 y-o single male, employed and living alone.
My parents never beat me, always provided for me and my brother/sister. Typical childhood in a 80s/90s white suburb, happy, nothing weird ever happened.
I know you guys will probably look at me as an edgy manchild, but I have such a hardtime connecting and having deep meaningful conversations when I'm alone with them. It honestly saddens me, I truely wish I'd have a better relationship with them. They live 20mins away from my place, but I never call them and only see them once a month or less. There are just too many awkward silences and I'm rarely enjoying myself around them. My mother is one of the most naive and least educated person I have ever known. I love her and care about her, but it's impossible to chat about anything meaningful, since her usual topics of conversation are absolutely mundane and women-knitting-club type of stuff that doesn't interest me That also means I can barely talk to her about anything, since she will simply nod and fake interest in a very obvious way, while I know very well she has absolutely no clue what I'm talking about.
And with my father, well it's a bit better, but he's absolutely beta and bluepilled, while I am the opposite. We used to often chat about movies and videogames (he's still a gamer), but I don't play them anymore, nor do I really go to the movies.
If they invite us (me, brother, sister, boyfriends/girlfriends) to have dinner at their place, I behave totally differently, as I engage into conversations with everyone around the table and never stop talking. Absolutely night and day than when I'm alone with them.
Also, my brother and sister get along really well with them and call/see them often. Though I gotta say my sister is just like our mother, while my bro is just like our dad. Sometimes I believe my mother slept with the mailman or something.
Anyway, any thoughts or suggestions? Anyone out there in a similar situation?
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>>17986644
I love my parents but they have their own life and i have mine. When they need me they call me and they know that is a two way street. Conversations with them are rarely long or deep because we are all interested in different things, its still ok we all know that there is love and appreciation.
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I'm a bit older than you. I see mine about twice a year because they live a few hours away.
Similar situation. I find it best if there is something to do. I took dad to see some vintage machinery show and that went well.
Its always harder with mom. That probably says a lot about why I am foreveralone women wise.
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>will simply nod and fake interest in a very obvious way, while I
>know very well she has absolutely no clue what I'm talking about.
great thing about being a grand autismo is that this never occurs to you. just keep rambling long past when everyone else has lost interest.
anyway, op, that doesn't sound like such a bad situation.
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You should remember at all times that this is your ONE and ONLY life. You don't get anymore shots left.
If you're born short, there won't be a time where you're born tall. If you're an ethnic minority there won't be a time where you're born white. If you're poor now, there won't be a time where you're born rich. If you're young now there won't be another time where you'll be young again. If you're born in a poor country, there won't be a time where you're born in a rich country. Stop letting your mind play tricks on you. This is all you got. If you're born with all these disadvantages this is your only fucking shot. No more.
If you spend your time caring only what others think of you; If you burn all your time orbiting women who don't give you the time of day; If you squander all your time lazing around, not lifting, oversleeping and not approaching, then you will die having done ONLY that. You will never get a fucking chance to rewind. This isn't a game where you get second lives. You will never be this young again.
If you spend your life focused on your disadvantages like being poor, short, a minority, being dumb, having a disability, being shy, having a fucked up childhood or any other obstacle then reality check: This is your only fucking chance to get whatever you want. If you don't take it, you will rest in the cold ground all the same.
This is why we were born mortal. Because we are mortal, we are free. Because we got one shot, we make this the best fucking shot we can give. Fuck the limitations. You fucking chase your goals.
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i'll say yarp to that
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>>17986635
buddah disagrees. but he was kinda pretentious so yeah, regardless this is good advice.
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bumping cuz important
Anyone in their late 20s to early 30s or later that sees the adventure slipping out of their life?
I'm 30, and I feel like my friends are beginning to fall into one or multiple of these three categories: 1. Totally committed to family life, 2. Prefers sitting in to doing anything fun, or 3. Completely fucked up on a combo of drugs and booze.
I like to drink, and I like to party, but it feels like I'm getting to the point where there isn't anyone who wants to do that anymore. The best part of my life was like... 19-26, and I want that back. I'm an otherwise responsible adult, but I miss the road trips to California, the trips to the bar for drinks and banter, hitting on random chicks...
Should I try to make younger friends? That seems lame. Alternatively, how can I find a sense of fun and purpose at my age?
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People grow up. Personally, I'm glad to have distanced myself from my friends. Not all, but most. People started families, ruined families, became single moms, focused on studies, others are just NEET, another probably still on disability. And me, unemployed, live alone, only child, don't drink, smoke, nothing. Just watching the dags go by, unemployed, odd jobs now and then.. 31 and life isn't at all what I expected it to be at my age.
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>>17986618
I'm in a similar situation OP, 34 y-o and no kids, while all my friends have started families. Some misc tips;
>find a bar/club that catters to older people
>Take care of your body
Hit the gym as often as you can, eat healthy, get plenty of sleep. That will make you appear younger than you are, and will make you shine when next to out-of-shapes fellow 30ish y-o men
>Don't be affraid to hit on younger chicks (as young as 18)
>save up and travel the world
this is a great way to meet, get drunk and party with younger people
>buy a sport motorcycle and go to gatherings and stuff
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>>17986674
get some help bro
Anonymous
When to message someone after getting no response? 2017-01-24 02:54:18 Post No.17986614
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When to message someone after getting no response? 2017-01-24 02:54:18 Post No.17986614
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When to message someone after getting no response?
Anonymous
2017-01-24 02:54:18
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I met a woman on OkCupid and went out with her a couple times in the past two weeks. We hit it off pretty well and have a lot in common, both in terms of interests and in terms of our personalities.
At the end of our second date, I told her that I would be on vacation for a week but when I got back I would get in touch with her. She agreed to this and seemed earnest about getting together again sometime after I returned.
A couple of days ago, I got back from my vacation and, as promised, sent her a text indicating I was back and etc. I haven't received a response so far - I sent the text in question around noon on Sunday so it's been only a bit longer than a day so I'm not terribly worried, but I was wondering how long I should wait before sending a follow-up text, if at all?
One other detail which may or may not impact this, but when I checked OkCupid today I saw that she had deleted her profile. This seems like a bad sign (i.e., either she's ghosting or she found someone else) but could be interpreted as good (i.e., maybe she's interested in me to the point where she doesn't need an active account anymore) depending on perspective. Without further information I can't really say for sure.
Any thoughts on the above would be much appreciated. I can provide further details if necessary.
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> maybe she's interested in me to the point where she doesn't need an active account anymore
not to be a dick because I've been in the same boat as you, but I can assure you the odds of this are impossibly slim
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>>17986614
Don't overthink it. Overthinking it makes you less desirable and unsure. You've sent her a text pretty close to the time you were fully free from your trip, right? That shows her that you're interested and making her an upper-tier priority. That makes her feel wanted.
She's not monogamously yours so she has every right to have a life and not respond to the text right away; 24 hours is no time to the girl that has an active life. It's also possible she just didn't notice it.
If it deals with time and the ball is in her court, always play the 3-day rule. You'll never seem needy after 3 days, and you can play it like you have a life, which'll make you seem more interesting.
When she does respond, be a little more prompt but still initiate the chase by having the ball in your court, 1-2 hours tops.
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I went through something similar with Tinder. We had gone on 2 dates. She kept ignoring my texts after a while. I slowly concluded she wasn't into me. I've realized now that for a dating scenario to work, especially one created through a dating app, there needs to be mutual interest to the highest extent. Your situation will really show how interested she really is. Now given, you guys barely know each other, and remember that hitting it off goes both ways. Maybe you thought you hit it off, maybe she didn't. Girls are really bad at telling you they're not interested, so stay on your toes, and try not to get your hopes up too much, stay humble. You did meet on a dating app after all. But who knows.
As far as a follow up text, that's an iffy situation. You'll come off as needy if you say the wrong thing. So it might just be best to leave the ball in her court. She comes back she's yours, she doesn't she clearly wasn't that interested; i.e. not worth your time.
If you are going to send a follow up, make it about something. Say you have plans, or something going on that could involve her, that could make for a casual date. Maybe you're going to check out a farmers market and you want her to tag along, or you need a plus one for an event. DON'T say anything that will make you sound needy. Play this card very carefully.
I think it's also very possible she's busy, and that she did see your text and that she just hasn't gotten around to it. I do that all the time, even with people I'm eager to talk to. I'll save it for later for when I can really engage in what I want to say.
Or maybe she did meet someone else. You should expect that. It's as possible as any other scenario. If so, you should be happy for her, you're both in the same struggle, trying to find the best partner for yourselves. And maybe she's not emotionally capable of letting you down easy. But you'll never know. So my advice would be to either text her what i said, or leave it up to her.
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>Have small penis
>Absolutely love hearing girls talk about how much they like big ones
Had an online female friend I convinced to hook up with a guy once when she was complaining she was horny. Turned out he had a big dick. She told me all the lewd details and it was the best several dozen faps I had. She kept talking about how good and big he was and it was so hot. Shame we don't talk any more.
So, does this make me an actual, literal cuck?
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>>17986606
>literal cuck
no. a literal cuck is someone who's gf/wife cheats/cheated on them. thats it. you're not a literal cuck til that happens
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>>17986606
You will be one day.
Sorry about yout dick.
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>>17986609
So, what am I? Some sort of cuckold fetishist?
It's confusing but also very hot for me.