Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2703. page

She usually has on a full outfit with some kind of oversweater that I notice her covering herself with whenever I walk into a room. That night she was wearing yoga pants and a tank and didn't really attempt to cover up much other than the occasional tank pull up to keep her tits from popping out. I was pretty horny and I wanted to gauge how much she liked me so I was maintaining pretty strong eye contact and glancing at her lips while we were talking. After a while her kid woke up and start screaming so she had go to deal with it and concluded our conversation. I walked to her to the door and said good nite and she initiated a hug. I hugged her and that was that.

>>17988632
ask her

The next day (after the drinks had worn off), she was back to her usual self. I came home from morning classes she was still there, did her usual short-to-no-eye-contact greeting. She didn't attempt to really talk to me at any point, or even come see me to say bye when she left. She just hung out in my sister's room. I got the feeling she was avoiding me. It was like she was a completely different person than the night before. Having written all of this out though, I see that none of that behavior was anything a woman wouldn't do with a platonic friend and that I'm probably reading things into it due to wishful thinking. She was probably just bored/lonely and I was there to help her kill some time. If you read through this mess, thanks and I'm open to any feedback but I think I've answered my own question.

What one woman wants isn't necessarily what other women want. Lots of women want chads, lots don't.

However, if you've known this woman for a year and you haven't picked up on any signals that she's romantically interested in you, chances are slim of it working out. You may just have to look elsewhere.

>>17988577

>Is there any way to tell if a good friend (of about a year) is interested in being more than just friends?

yes. by asking her out. any other hint, clue, or possibility will just make you question it even more becuase no matter how much a girl giggles at your jokes, plays with her hair, or grabs your arm, thats just what girls do.

> Is there any chance of this working out, given that I've already had a thing with one friend, and that she seems mostly interested in Chads?

depends. you refer to her as wife material... but you're in college. the chances of that working out, or really any relationship working out are slim. you're basically asking internet strangers to decide if this is the girl you could marry based on very little information.

could you date her? yes, if shes interested, you could date her. but we cant say whether or not you'll have an inferiority complex. i would imagine so though.

>>17988603
>we cant say whether or not you'll have an inferiority complex
Yes, this

If you approach your situation from the starting premise that you must be less attractive than other people, you're going to feel unwanted, regardless of anyone else's actual feelings about you.
In order to properly enjoy an intimate, romantic relationship, you have to be able to love yourself.

So let me say: There are lots of women who are not attracted to you. This is true. You are not imagining it. Because women have different tastes, no two women will be looking for quite the same thing in a partner. However, I promise you that there are women who will be attracted to you more than to other guys, even guys who you think are more handsome or whatever. Because again, no two women are looking for exactly the same thing. If someone tells you she's attracted to you, try to believe them over your own self-doubt.

I have no idea how to navigate the VA system. However, if you are getting psych help at all (even at an intake appointment or something) and you express a serious desire to hurt yourself or others, they pretty much have to put you in inpatient.

So you'll need to have the intent and a detailed plan, likely.

>>17988564

just go to see a therapist.

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66KB, 500x500px

Wanted to blow my brains out two weeks ago but Didn't think it would be fair to use my friend's guns. I just want to go away and forget

>>17988541
tinder, prostitutes

>>17988541
If you can afford it you might consider using escorts. No hassle. They will leave you alone when you want to and be there when you want them. It is expensive, but if you are wealthy and don't want a family of your own, they are cheaper in the long run than a divorce would be.

>>17988541
>I'm tired of relationships.
No, you're tired of drama. Come back in 10 years with nothing but hookups under your belt and we will see if your tune will be the same.

I lost my virginity in a one night stand and I kind of regret it.

>>17988532
>should I actively look for something that I don't need

Depends on you mate.

>>17988532

you'll know they're special when they make you feel funny.

outside of that i say you should try and put yourself out thereb ut you dont necessarilly need to talk to every girl you see.

>>17988529
Both of those things were mistakes so what ever it was you are just digging yourself deeper.

>>17988529
>Just curious if this response shows more that she wants to be done or wants to fix it, dunno if im reading too much into it
Without context, it sounds like she needs to have a serious talk about what happened and what's going to change so that you can move forward. You can't really do that well over text.

>>17988529
this is not the language of someone who is done with a relationship.

>>17988506
Mall security has no real authority. The most they can do is what you said.
Providing you aren't actually shoplifting just stay calm and report it to the supervisor if she gives you more trouble.

>>17988517

Thanks. I realize this isn't really a big deal, just hate dealing with weirdly aggressive strangers.

>>17988506

nope not really. most security is there for show.

one manager at rite aid tried to ban me claiming that i stole beer. no charges were pressed and i didnt sign anything. i called the office and they explained that until charges are pressed i cant be kicked out.

so i go in ther eevery day just to act suspicious in front of the midget.

>>17988489
Why don't you move to America. Was the revolutionary war for nothing? Why return to be a subject of the oppressive crown. Do not ask her to give away her freedom.

in most countries getting married is all thats required to make them a legal resident. not sure about citizen like being able to vote and shit, but i imagine she'll be able to live and work there.

i could be wrong tho

I don't know about U.K. But I moved to US from U.K. Through marriage. People make it out to be hard but there are ways around the lengthy stuff. Took me 6 months since starting the application to become a resident.

Use a real estate site and find out what comparable homes have sold for. Use that as a baseline.

Is there anything wrong with it that you can point out? When was it constructed? Is is or was it up to code? What it the neighborhood like? If the seller expect a negotiation you can possibly drop around 15% for your first bid, but back it up with a list of faults in the property. The building might be a lemon, The foundation may be cracked or there may be mold. If the seller wants to sell at any price there may be a reason for this. Hire a building inspector if you are not in the trade yourself.

>>17988496
There isn't anything local that gives the prices the houses were sold for, but having visited a lot recently I'd say it's well worth its price in the 160-170k range.

>>17988522
>Is there anything wrong with it that you can point out?
I could be nitpicky (parking space a bit lacking, some rooms layout not as I'd like ideally, maybe a bit of work to do on ventilation or the waterproofing the walls in the basement), but nothing important.

>When was it constructed?
1907

>Is is or was it up to code?
Yes, everything was just renovated for the sale (new roofs, new wall isolations, new facade, new electricity, ...) and has been inspected by law for both electricity and power requirements (evaluates needs and isolation). Maybe lacking ventilation for the very latest standards.

>What it the neighborhood like?
Seems to be quite nice. It's not one with a very good reputation overall, but it's the area I want to live with anyway.

>you can possibly drop around 15% for your first bid
Wouldn't I be of high risk that someone else would buy it first then? It seems a really good offer, and I've seen houses go in a few days.

Bunp

>>17988464

go see a therapist.

Agree, see a therapist. Get into physical activities you enjoy-basketball, swimming, hockey. Whatever it is that keeps you active, energized and fit. I also recommend volunteering in anything from feeding the homeless to coaching a softball team. Helping others makes you think about something and someone other than yourself. You don't have to get married or have kids. No one is putting a gun to your head.

>>17988461
Alcoholism is a disease. Can you really get fired for getting treatment for your illness? This does not seem right.
Haven't been there myself, but of all the alcoholics i know none have made a lasting recovery. It can be done, and a few sober years are better than none. My point here being, do not take it lightly. Do whatever has to be done, and have a strategy set up for if you slip up. Know who to call or what to do.

>>17988507

Not OP but I was once fired because I got mono and couldn't come to work for two weeks.

So, yeah.

>>17988507

Dunno. Don't wanna risk it though.

Anyway, yeah, I know the process will be hard, but right now I'm just worried about these five days. I don't wanna drop dead from withdrawal, but I also don't know if I"m blowing it out of proportion. Anxiety and panic disorders are a bitch that way.

Eh, there are plenty of nasty couples out there.

But, people worry too much about what other people think, so it probably is inflated.

>>17988440

Yes and no.
Some people are, some people definitely are not.

>>17988440

its a mixed bag.


your whole question about married with kids is flawed though. women don't age as well as men and they tend to become more gross after having kids. she puts on weight, and the stress of raising the kids affects her more than the man even if they both work. the man just worries less.

so you see a lot of attractive me nwith ugly wives simply becuase having multiple kids will ruin a woman.


as for the vice versa, you have to remember that looks arent everything. a girl may be hot but not worth a hot + successful man. so she'll settle for a reasonably okay looking man who has money and makes her look nice.

a lot of people will also overlook not looking perfect if they just get along wiht you in general. i left a really hot 10/10 ideal woman to be with someone i was embarassed to show my friends pictures of. she was attractive in her own weird way, sure. but most would call her unattractive and i thought she was beautiful.

at the end of hte day the world is not perfectly shallow or perfectly open minded. in life we go back and forth, finding people we connect with despite looks, and other times finding people we want only because of their looks. we change from day to day, month to month, year to year.

often times marriages happen simply because a woman got pregnant and they decided to 'make it work'.

theres no one rule that defines everything.

>>17988404

If you're looking for shortcuts you should have paid more attention in school. Write a resume and apply for a job, just like every other person.

>>17988404

A job your family or friends can get you is the best option you have without experience.

Any other job that would take you won't pay you much, but at least you get exp to move on to better stuff.

Not op but I have a similar question. Got a B.A. in math but I can't find any job that would want that as a requirement. If you can't tell me a job, could you atleast point me in the right direction?


also bump

>>17988344
Why do you tell people about your life?

>>17988344

Might not be boredom, but rather you revealing stuff that might be a tad intimate for their liking. What exactly are you telling people?

>>17988344
Well, I got bored reading this, so...

>>17988312
That's fine op. It's normal to do that. Good luck

>>17988312
>philosophy of mind
lol

>>17988312
>Do you think it'd come across as overly eager
Don't listen to PUA bullshit that tells you that showing interest in a woman is somehow putting you at a disadvantage. Show an interest. Ask about the reading. That's a fine idea. She approached you first, she is clearly interested in, at the very least, getting to you know a bit better. So go from there.