Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2682. page

>>17995868

the right balance is to not go out of your way to meet them. if you're out with your pals and see a pretty girl, go talk to her. thats the right time.

>>17995878
This. Also dating sites are useful too. You can set up an account if you get matched go out of not at least you tried.

>>17995885

>>17995825
Don't care about that, m8

Probably mid 20s, if I'm going to be honest.

Anyways don't worry too much about it. Just focus on bettering yourself.

>>17995825

its weird anytime really, like as soon as highschool has started people have dated. it just gets WEIRDER.

the time it gets like too weird is the end of college. of course there can still be excusable reasons.

but that kinda leads me to my ultimate point is that the WHY is the most important thing here.

if you dont want to date than weirdness doesn't matter.

some people you look at and assume they've never dated because of how they look. so its not weird, its expected

Heat up your spoon.

Or get a scooper and scoop properly (scrape).

Learn english.

>>17995823
I recommend English lessons before ice cream.

Microwave it for a bit.
Or try cutting with a warm knife in a checkerboard pattern then with a warm scooper or spoon scrape the scoops out.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HuDyf2RkHoE

>>17995815
You hurt her feelings. Plain and simple.

Why are you trying to get back in contact with her 4 years later?

Leave her alone man.

>>17995820
We've been talking every now and then (like, once every few months) on Facebook even after we stopped hanging out. Things seemed ok, and that was over 2 years after we last slept together.

I wanna stay in contact and on good terms because she's a cool person, I'm pretty picky about who I sleep with so naturally I want to be on good terms with those people even after we stop seeing each other.

I don't mind leaving her alone if she just tells me to fuck off or blocks me or whatever. It's the silent treatment that drives me crazy. Think about this from her perspective. If she was hurt and despises me, and I keep pestering her, why won't she just unfriend? I don't get it, man.

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>>17995815
>>>17995820

>I wanna stay in contact and on good terms because she's a cool person, I'm pretty picky about who I sleep with so naturally I want to be on good terms with those people even after we stop seeing each other.
>
OP youre being selfish. Let her go live her life. Stop

>>17995810

why dont you just ask him to hang out?

>>17995816
I can try and twist it as much as I want, but at the end of the day I'm just scared he'll say no.

And so what if he says no. You are already living with him saying no. Ask him to hang out , perhaps with a group of friends and have more conversations with him. You'll regret not asking him. Rather to have tried and get a no than live with regret and a possible yes. If it doesn't work out there are plenty of fish in the sea. Get him! Good luck! :)

>>17995797

>do people find it cool you play the flute?

its neither here nor there. most instruments are something people will note are interesting but never ask to hear you play, with the exception of something considered cool like guitar, and even then they'll only want to hear it if they're already super into you for other reasons.

>>17995802
I mean cool as in interesting, not as in social status

I'm just wondering if I should be telling others about this. I don't want to be the fool telling a girl I got a Dizi and then the girls get dry as a sahara.

>>17995797
As someone who has played the flute for 10+ years: get a tutor. You will sound like ass and most likely learn how to hold it incorrectly without someone to tell you otherwise. And if you want to make money "on the streets" via the flute, you don't want to sound like ass.
Also nobody will think you're more interesting because you bought a foreign instrument.

She's negging you. Tell her she doesn't have the balls or ovaries to ask you out because you sure as hell wouldn't be interested in her. You'd rather stay single than be with someone that plays with men. If she is interested in you she can be an adult and ask you out. Would she rather you ask her out? Then fine, tell her if she wants to go out with you that you will go to the local car or movie theater or both on Saturday and if she shows up fine if not fuck it you have your night set. Challenge her, it may very well knock her off her feet or at least shut her up. Good luck!

>>17995791
She sounds like one of those anime stereotype tsunderes.
Either way, stay far away.

Who cares she's childish

>>17995789

shes reasonably attractive, so even if you're great she wont have trouble finding men in her area.

>>17995807
Doesn't answer my question buckaroo but fair point

>>17995840

it does though.

it just takes literally half a second of thinking.

>>17995736

>is it okay to beat yourself up over rejection?

why would it be?

>>17995744
I worded it wrong. I meant "is it normal"

>>17995748

normal? yes. healthy? no.

while im one to preach that a rejection is simply a mismatch, soemtimes the mismatch is because you are not attractive enough or sound enough. there are lots of imperfect people in the world and some are more imperfect than others.

the problem here is that it doesn't make you a bad person. just because you wouldn't be good to date for any reason doesn't mean you are a bad person or a low quality person.

it sucks to realize you're ugly. it does. but thats a cross some have to bear, and MOST people have to bear it at some time in their life. some early on and get hot. most attractive people age badly, and even if they are hot for what their age is, most are still crushed by how ugly they are compared to youth.

virtually everyone experiences this at some point so you can acknowledge that not only are you NOT alone, but it doesn't have to be something to like you're inferior.

being attractive is great but it isn't required to date. will you ever have a super hot partner? probably not. but you do get the benefit of knowing that whoever you end up with will like you for who you are, and vice versa, as opposd to just how they look hiding their flaws.

as for doing something 'wrong' thats almost never the case. if a womans into you she'd overlook any awkardness. most relationships are a bit awkward in the beginning.

your personality may not be very popular. that doesn't make it bad. it doesn't make it good.

there are a lot of movies that have a strong fan base, but aren't like 'the secret best film of all time'. they just appeal to the people they're meant to appeal to and not much else. most people are that movie.

and remember that looks are more complex than ugly or attractive. even men can be divided into hot, handsome, sexy, pretty, cute, and a thousand other sub categories.

Ask her if she wants to go on a date

>>17995738

this

>>17995731
Do it. Regardless of the outcome, you wont forgive yourself for pussing out later on.

Be prepared that IF you get turned down that contact will be rare for a while, but if you REALLY want to stay friends; give her some time and then patch things up again

>>17995681
Vent all your sexual frustrations into glorious lovemaking with the gf

smash your balls with a hammer or quit whining about ordinary things

Sounds like something that happened to me.

Do you watch porn? If so, stop. I used to watch porn and it made me have those feelings even with a gf. When I quit porn and only fapped with my imagination/spent my energy on my gf, the urges went away.

Don't cheat, it causes a lot of stress and guilt.

>>17995676

no way we could know. obviously fired means you can get unemployment, but that looks worse on your record if it comes up though most places dont even check unless you're really high up.

either way its not really in your control

>>17995680
Would yelling at my boss count as gross misconduct which would deny me unemployment benefits?

>>17995695
Depends what you yelled

In all seriousness, if you didn't call him a twat or something similar and just vented your frustration about the crazy workload you should be good

focus on other things (self inprovement). women should be an afterthought. you should also be working on many different potential girls at the same time. they are flakey as hell so don't get attached to one prospect. I currently have 4 that I'm working on, if one flakes on me I really don't give a single shit, and they can feel that.

>>17995670
I don't enjoy building the relationships when I'm working on parallel channels, and I don't want anyone I am dating to feel like they aren't important to me. I do agree the self improvement is important and it is something that I am working on, but I don't see how it helps me with my problem.

>>17995677
you asked a question , you got the answer, but you don't like the answer. so continue on the path youre on and stop complaining, or take a different path.

Man the fuck up. You are a dad and havevto find the will to live for yourself and for your partner and kids. Show them that you can be the husband and father you know you can be.

1)Get fit. Exercise, exercise, exercise and eat right. In whatever you will look forward to doing-be it swimming, tennis, running, walking around the park, weights, naked yoga I don't care but find it. It will help clear your mind, make you healthy so you don't have to deal with illness and docs. It will give you a sense of accomplishment.

2) Stop drinking. Or at least drink less. You're literally pudding money away that can go to an emergency fund or that you can put into savings. It adds up. If you can stop you're not an addict, if you can't you are and go to AA. It will fuck up your liver and you are using it as a daily escape. Also you will have a clear mind.

3) Start looking for other work-steadier work in your field and ask friends and relatives as well as apply where you are interested. If you don't ask and go out there you will never be hired. Ask the people you've worked with before for referrals. If you need to work at McDonald's while this happens so be it. You can work there and move up as you look for other jobs. Construction is good too. You need to pay bills and a honest job that pays them off and puts food on the table is honorable and makes you a man.

4) Talk to someone besides us. Like a legit therapist to deal with what you are feeling. These are valid emotions but you need to vent properly and have someone validate them and then help you to work through them and get over them.

5) Talk to your wife about your feelings. She probably has no clue but you got married and partners are there to support one another. She may be feeling the same way. Wouldn't it be better to vent to each other and try to work on plans for your family's future together?

Good luck OP! You have been blessed with a wife and kids how many can say the same here?

>>17995648
What sort of venture was it?

Where do you live?

>t. young guy with an idea but no real idea of how to plan

Well, first thing you can do to improve your situation is to lose weight.

If you can't be arsed to exercise and count your calories, then cut carbs and sugar totally out of your diet. That also means stop drinking.

Sounds like you both have issues. Your SO's reaction is not normal, but you interpreting "I wish we could be together more" as "I wish you had a different job" and getting angry about it isn't normal either.

>>17995636
Maybe it's not clear, but my reaction comes from the following analysis:

>Have job
>Job's the problem
>Can't change job
>Issue

Since I know from the starting point that the only way currently for us to be together more is me changing my job, I come from the following mode of thinking:
"Since we both know that the job is the issue but we also both know that it won't be changed right now you're raising a moot point unless what you mean is that you want me to change the job"

>>17995636
I imagine her reaction comes from the 3 years of dealing with that.

OP, she's not saying you have to leave the job, she's just sad that you don't get to see each other that much. Maybe you can do something so she feels less lonely, like leaving notes for her or something