Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2666. page

Try some light socializing outside your current social circle. At the moment, you're isolating yourself with your hatred, which leads to a negative feedback-loop, only ending you up with more hatred.
On a day when you're not feeling as down, go to a place where people who might be open to a random chat go. Think bar, library, local board-game store, or whatever you can think of.

stop going to the youth group? just stop.. you could help ppl in other ways.

run away

>>18001719
You should probably try to make them more attractive first.

>>18001719
I wouldn't stop being sexually attracted to them. Sex with the same person becomes boring quickly, but there are about four million kinky ways around that. Also, vanilla sex with someone you truly love is still good.

Maybe describe the problem more.

>>18001776
>I don't think monogamy is natural, although I do shoot for it/enjoy it a lot.

You are the reason why young men are shooting up schools and blowing themselves up.

They won't stop unless you do.

>>18001670
>Right now I'm building on what seems to be a promising career, and my husband and I are very happy at the moment. I feel like having kids would ruin everything, but at the same time, I'm being ostracized by everyone else in my life for putting it off this long.

You're 26 but you have the mentality of a 16 year old girl.

Have the fucking kids and stop being selfish. People like you are exactly what's wrong with western society right now.

Or you could whore for more attention on the internet, put your 'career' ahead of raising a family, and be a selfish bitch who will be resented by everyone you know.

>>18001693
LOL don't listen to this idiot.

DO NOT HAVE KIDS IF YOU DON'T WANT THEM.
You won't despise them, but there is a greater chance of getting postpartum depression. There are enough human beings in this world. No oneed.

>>18001693
spotted the bitter /r9k/

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Heheheh, this is funny because I went through the exact same thing. I was 21, my ex was 19. I was and still am depressed and I was reflecting it on her in a very bad way. I was very dependent on her, didn't see any meaning in life except for her. I had no ambitions, I did nothing valuable, I was procastrinating a lot. In the end, we broke up because of my flaws. But I deserved it. It helped me wake up, made me realize how much I fucked up. Made me regret not being a better boyfriend to someone who deserved it. I think your boyfriend needs to wake the fuck up. Dump him. He won't get any better otherwise.

From my point of view, try to help him as much as you can, search for further help for him to overcome why hes depressed. Depression can also come because of the realization in his view of life. Breaking up might have further consequences on him

>>18001654
i'm 25 and my bf is 29; your situation sounds really similar to what the beginning of my relationship was like. he had depression, anxiety, and was very negative and angry at the world. (and just to clarify, no, he has never been abusive. just complained a whole lot about how everything sucks.)

except he was never from money, so he had more of a motivation to get off his butt i guess. it took a while, but after some love and support, he realized in order to make our relationship work, he needed to work harder and try to make our future together happen.

let me tell you, it wasn't easy. it took a whole lot of patience and being positive and encouraging... finally started to rub off on him and he started seeing the silver lining of things. that is 1.5 years of progress... he has come a long way from since we started dating. but a lot of the credit goes to him for actually making the difference. there were some days i just wanted to quit the relationship because it was so exhausting, but i'm glad i stuck it out because we're so much closer and i get to see him blossom into the man who is basically my dream boyfriend. he'd do anything to make me happy, actually keeps his promises, and always tells me how much he loves and values me being in his life. he's a much more happier and healthy person today.

if you aren't up to the task, then maybe you should see other people.... it's not for everyone. sometimes i felt like i was crazy/desperate for putting up with this; i'm not unattractive and i've had other options and i'm in my mid 20s after all. but i had faith in him and i'm so glad i believed in his change. no matter what decision you make, just remember it's an experience to learn from. personally, i learned a lot about love; being grateful, patient, appreciating the little things and how to make the best of situations. i am completely humbled by our experience and i think i actually came out more emotionally mature in the end.

>>18001645
Good way to respond -"oh, ok."

Send her a voice message screaming as hard as you can

>>18001645

Is she making an effort to set another date? If the answer is "no", then it's probably a "no" from her, too.

Also, people on 4chan should stop asking girls out over text/chat.

>>18001638

Meet more girls.

Don't get attached

Imagine her asshole after eating taco Bell

>>18001638
Meet more girls. You eventually realize you only have "oneitis" because she is the only girl you actually have decent contact with.

>>18001630
you don't, you get out of there

>>18001630

Yours? Go to therapy. A professional can help you become what you want.

>>18001630
You're on 4chan, which means you don't really love yourself that much, stop lying to yourself

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>>18001551
Why the fuck would you tell someone, let alone your girlfriend to kill themselves?
That's just fucked up.

>>18001895
OP here
I know it's fucked but I wasn't in control of my actions, my emotions were. My anger overtook me.

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>>18001926
Learn to control your anger. You deserve what happened because of your shitty actions. Not the end of the world though. You learn your lesson then find new friends and better yourself.

>>18001484
Apologies for "/b/", I posted this on there too.

lol ur cancer fuck off

>>18001664
Thanks /adv/, helpful as always

>>18001480
Are you in a relationship of some sort? What's the story, I need to know more

Two possibilities

1. It was actually consensual sex
or
2. She's trying to downplay it to protect herself, this is a common way of thinking after trauma happens. "Mom isn't really dead, this is a nightmare" "I wasn't actually raped since I know him personally and rape only happens from strangers"

#2 is beyond your pay grade, she needs to see a psychiatrist (and file a police report!)

>>18001480
>This dumbfounded me because it felt like I was violated in the process of knowing she was raped but now I don't know how to respond to how she feels and this also hurts.

>What should I do?

This isn't about YOU. It's her process. Be there for whatever she asks of you, but don't tell her how to deal with it. You are not her psychologist.

People change. Whores don't. Stay away.

>but I'm still scared

That is your answer, OP. Go with your gut.

If you insist on giving her a chance, keep your expectations low and at least have enough pride to say "fuck you" the second she shows her true colors rather than getting wishy washy and letting her hurt you/toy with you

>>18001457
fpbp

Women won't stop doing things they enjoy. If she naturally was a manipulator she will never stop. Whores will always stay as whores.

Unless you cannot control your emotions and just fuck her raw then don't go near her.

>>18001440
Stop buying the psychology meme showed down your throat by some jew.

You are the way you are because of two reasons: 1. Your life sucks 2. Most people suck.

Once you fix your life and find people you have something in common you will be fine

>>18001449
>psychology is a meme
>some jew

seriously /pol/ fuck off

>>18001455
Jews can be linked to psychology like they can be linked to communism or feminism.

>>18001400
What interests?
Why would you tie some activity to who you are?

>>18001406
I honestly don't know. I know what I like when I'm alone but once you throw people into the mix I totally forget. I can perform socially around nice people but once someone asks me a question about what I like or who I am I freeze up and my mind goes blank. The issue of identity is sensitive, for some reason I worry that I'm an empty person

>>18001400
I have this same problem op, I feel like I have no personality to share. I know who I am but others don't because I don't really convey who I am and I don't know how.

>>18001327
Lower your standards. Easiest way to get a date is to find an uggo

>>18001330
I always dated people who were up to my standards, and never really had trouble just getting the first date, the hard part always came later. This is absolutely bizarre, either the world completely changed while I was in a relationship for two years, or I somehow changed

>>18001335
>either the world completely changed while I was in a relationship for two years, or I somehow changed

One thing has changed during those two years OP:
>online dating has become huge. Young people have the perception that since they can now search for partners rapidly, they can be very picky in the relationship market. Young people's standards haven't changed, they just believe that it's much easier to meet someone who matches their standards, and so screen out people out quicker

Shameless self-bump

>>18001282
I've never masturbated in my life

>>18001699
Do you have normal sexual desires? Are you sexually active or want to be?

Sorry if these questions are too personal.