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Its possible to find relationship material though online dating? I'm whilling to try it(because why not?), but someone told me up front to avoid Tinder because its exclusively for casual sex.
So where should I go if I want to find an interesting and serious girl? Any anon here had success on finding relationship material through online dating?
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>>18006526
if you can't eet anyone irl, you will not do well on tinder
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>>18006526
Plenty of fish (this was 9 years ago though) so maybe diffrent now. Married her 6 years in and now baby on the way. Dont give up.
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>>18006536
Don't know what this exactly means because i'm not looking for casual sex in first place.
>>18006539
Congrats on the child anon, where did you met her? If possible I want you guys to recommend sites for people who are looking for relationships.
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Finally a thread that's not about getting a boyfriend or girlfriend.
My boss just texted me saying that my position at work no longer exists, therefore I no longer need to come in.
So basically I just got laid off? What do I do?
I have already started multiple applications, but should I try for unemployment or what? I think it's pretty shitty of someone to lay you off on Monday morning THROUGH A TEXT an hour before you head to work. I have no money and now I have no money coming in either. Whyyyyy I was doing good, being responsible, had a full-time job I actually ENJOYED. whyyyyyyyyyy
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>>18006489
Holy fuck that sucks a huge duck. Sorry OP. Yeah, unemployment and new job is the next thing to do. What was your position? Did you text or call back asking for a proper explanation as to what happened?
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>>18006489
What was your job?
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>>18006508
I haven't responded because I'm not sure what to say. I don't want to be rude even though I really should.
I'm... I was? a prep cook, although I was doing the sort of things an assistant manager would do, as well.
I've never even thought about unemployment before. I tried looking it up through my States website but it's confusing as fuck. I'm sure I can figure it out, though.
Anonymous
need some perspective 2017-01-30 02:42:34 Post No.18006488
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need some perspective 2017-01-30 02:42:34 Post No.18006488
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I've been hanging out with this woman, she's 27 I'm 26. She is on a break with her boyfriend and we've been hanging out for a few months. We go to the gym, and other random places (friends / bar) and will normally grab some food or ice cream and just chat for a while.
Yesterday she told me she has been on a more serious break with her bf (of three years, they have been on a break but still talking for about 5 months or so), as in little to no contact at all. She said this was planned for 6 weeks and in two they're going to meet up again to talk.
Pretty sure I'm friend zoned, but that's fine I gave her space for this whole break thing. I'm wondering if I should break the silence and let her know I've developed feelings. I know she thinks highly of me, at least that's what she's said.
My main concern is regretting not telling her. She's a great friend, and has done a lot for me.
Any questions please ask, I feel like I'm leaving out a lot of details.
They went on break because her bf wouldn't express feelings and was very robotic like. He didn't talk to her emotionally and just went through the motions. She says she's changing as a person and he's not, nor does he want her to change.
Wat do? As of now I'm planning on telling her before her meet up with her boyfriend to let her know her options before they chat.
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Shameless self bump
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Did you know her from before or only met her during her break?
Did you assume she was single until yesterday?
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>>18006528
Knew her before, started talking and found out about the break.
I knew she was in a relationship
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If something I ordered shipped out Friday via USPS 2-3 day Priority, what are the chances that I get it today?
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Shameless self bump
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When did you ship it friday?
Regardless its 2 to 3 day shipping, you'll get it in 2 to 3 days.
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>>18006523
Well it was shipped out to me on Friday around 12 noon.
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>go to my job
>don't really say much
>just want to do my job and go home
>people start bullying me
>talking about me behind my back
should I just be obnoxious from now on?
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>>18006358
it seems like you already are.
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what is your job?
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>>18006358
From the outside, shyness can look like unfriendliness and aloof disdain. Even if you just want to do your job, you have to be part of the workplace community to some degree, or they will get the impression that you look down your nose at them, and they will react accordingly. All it really takes is a friendly 'good morning' and some basic courtesies during the day.
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>say something about having no gf or people treating you like you're weird
>"Are you fat?"
>"Maybe start dressing better :^)"
>"How is your hygiene?"
>Have a toned body, dress well, have shitload of girls interested on tinder
Every tiem
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What advice are you looking for buddy?
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>>18006345
N-n-nothing in particular
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>>18006357
so fuck right off.
this isn't your tumblr.
Anonymous
Please just talk to me if you have been through abuse 2017-01-30 01:37:13 Post No.18006321
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Please just talk to me if you have been through abuse 2017-01-30 01:37:13 Post No.18006321
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Please just talk to me if you have been through abuse
Anonymous
2017-01-30 01:37:13
Post No. 18006321
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Hello /adv/ I guess i am writing here because i need someone to tell me that i am not alone with these problems, so please somebody just talk to me. I feel like i am having a nervous brake down. About a year ago (with 19 years old) i was emotionally and sexually abused by my (back then) boyfriend and i didnt really realize how bad it was,because he always made me feel like i was the problem for not being able to enjoy his abuse, until i broke up with him. And thats when it all started, i became seriously depressed, confused and psychotic and still am. I dont live with my family and havent been living with them for a long time (reason is irrelevant) and they all live in different countries and when all this happened i was pretty much all on my own, except for a view friends who didnt know how to help me. My problem is now that i often have loss of reality in form of reality refusal and i KNOW that these feelings are absolutely unnecessary and not true but it feels like i have these thoughts forced upon me. I have therapy once a week but i dont think that it is very helpful as these thoughts and feelings just attack me and i have an appointment at a psychiatrist but its in may.
If somebody is here who has been through abuse, please just talk to me. What have you been through and how did it affect your mental health? How old where you? What helped? Do you take medication?
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well, my dad was very abusive (not sexually though...).
it affected me greatly. i was highly depressed till i finally got ssri's ar age 27.
i was suicidal and i have very low selfesteem. i am a people pleaser and i have zero confidence. i never stand up for myself and i avoid all conflict is posssible.
he was mentally and physically abusive. as in hitting us, threatening to kill us, lock me in the bunker, stuff like that.
you're definitely not alone.
the thing that helped me THE MOST. was developing empathy for my dad. i had to realize that he didnmt do all this because i am worthless and donmt deserve love. or because i do everything wrong. he did what he dis because he was extremely overwhelmed. he was depressed, struggling with alcoholism and a lot of other things. sure, he should have gotten help instead of trying to be a dad. but the point is, i needed to realize that it was never, not a single bit, my fault. and that i couldn't habe done anything to prevent this. i am not a piece of shit that deserved that treatment. and he isn't a monster either. he was just a human that was at the end of his energy and nobody to reach out and offer help.
your ex was probably very distressed too that he ended up abusing you. he probably had a very fucked up childhood too. not that that's an excuse for his actions. but it is a factor that releases guilt you might feel.
now what you need to do is find out what (healthy) actions you can take to never get in such a situation again.
not dating any guy again is NOT healthy action.
building up a social circle that you trust and that you could reach out to and fall back on would be a way better idea. or working on your skills of telling people when they step over your boundaries.
there is a oot to do. go to work instead of feeling sorry for yourself. it has happened. no amount of being sad and sorry will change that. everyday you waste on feeling like a poor victime is a day of YOUR life you will never again get back.
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>>18006342
Wow thanks for sharing. How did the ssri's help ? because i sometimes think that they cant fix my mind setting if you know what i mean so what if i stop taking them and my mind setting ruins my mental health again?
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>>18006342
Not OP here but this is the kind of advice I needed instead of the bashing I received here yesterday when I asked for help. OP I ruined my life yesterday telling the truth to my family. I send you a virtual hug, I hope my intentions and good vibes get to you.
Anonymous
Finding fun friends at uni 2017-01-30 01:36:08 Post No.18006320
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Finding fun friends at uni 2017-01-30 01:36:08 Post No.18006320
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Finding fun friends at uni
Anonymous
2017-01-30 01:36:08
Post No. 18006320
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Hi, I'm about 5 months into uni, and while I have a good size bunch of friends I can't find any which like to go clubbing. Trouble is, this is pretty difficult to do considering my situation.
>nobody talks to each other in flat
>computer science, so mostly autists
>societies I go to are : Debating, conservatives, boxing, shooting, travel and Christian Union
>nobody that fun there so far (boxing most people are older than me and huge chads, rest of the societies are filled with introverts)
So I'm sorta stuck and a little lonely. What do?
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>>18006320
>Want to find people to go clubbing with but my friends don't want to
1. Go clubbing.
2. Meet people there who like to go clubbing.
3. Make friends.
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>>18006516
What, alone? Isn't that a bit sad?
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>>18006565
I went alone when my only friend at uni was busy and trust me, every time I had fun and didn't regret it at all and nobody questioned me. I'd just grab a drink, start a conversation with someone next to me and even dance, people would accept it. This was at student only gatherings though.
And before you say you're anxious, I was the biggest shut-in and was afraid of social situations but I saw in uni that you have to fight your insecurities or you'll be alone.
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How do i stop feeling anxious and stressed about the future? I'm 24 already and I feel like I'm losing control of my life. I haven't achieved absolutely anything, haven't ever been abroad, have no SO, I'm going nowhere work-wise.
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>haven't been abroad
That's what you get for living in the United® States® of America™
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>>18006317
you must have achieved something what education do you have or where do you work?
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>>18006333
trips can't lie
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Every time I drink I post stupid crap all over social media and sound like an idiot to everyone I talk to. How do I stop?
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Stop drinking if you can't handle booze. Alcohol is a terrible drug anyways.
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>>18006286
Do you drink alone at your computer or something? If so stop that you retard.
Get your drinking under control you clearly can't handle it. Drink socially, I don't remember the last time I had time to post one thing on Facebook when I was wasted because I'm with friends
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>>18006354
Well last night i was drinking with a friend and he went home so I said fuck it I'll have 2 more drinks and go to bed
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My best friend is in an abusive relationship where this girl talks shit to his face and basically wants her to be everything in his world while giving nothing in return. For example his moms sister was in the ER and he had to go and she got mad for being late for their date etc. Thing is my friends loaded and gets her whatever she asks. And in return she talks shit behind his back and to him as well and threatens breaking up. Now one night she told him its over and my friend who genuinely loves her was crying and super emotional about it all last week and he apologised to her and she said whatever. After a while of no replying over text she says hes being cold. I was w my friend and told him to tell her to fuck herself because it's obvious shes toxic. And not just me but all of us, his friends tell him to end it. Anyways after a bit of fighting she says LOL i was jk. Which sort ot made my friend realize things and stop talking to her. She comes to his house later that night and is on her knees begging. Tfw friend still hasnt gone past kissing her in a 2 yr plus relationship. Anyways is there anyway i can help my friend out, i feel bad for that guy.
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>>18006277
>hasnt gone past kissing her in a 2 yr plus relationship
lol
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>>18006295
He's a lost cause.
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Get him out of the house a lot
Bars,Concerts,everything that does not include her not even things he has done with her
Ex: Restaurants he went with her and such
Go out of town with him to new places, new bars, meet new people have fun and makeup for the hell that bitch gave him for 2yrs
help him move on throw shit she gave him away (My advice is destroying it in any manner you can think of)
he dated a total bitch anon.
and as a friend you should stick with him
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I just read the how did you meet your significant other thread and now I'm crying so much
I'm 25 and never had a boyfriend
I'm worthless.
And I'm missing out on so much.
I wish a guy would have liked me enough to want to go out with me
How do I stop feeling depressed?
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>>18006265
Improve yourself physically and personality wise. Ask guys out, put yourself out there.
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>>18006267
I've already done all of that
I'm asking how to stop feeling depressed I'm exhausted from crying every day
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>>18006265
It's ok, you didn't miss out on much. I am 26 and have been in six relationships since I was 18 or so. I regret all of them except for one; the rest were unnecessary heartbreak and I wish I could take them (and my time) back.
You will find someone, and in all honesty you'll probably never take them for granted having known loneliness as long as you have.
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My relationship just ended. Please help or just talk.
I spent over a year and a half liking this girl, fought tooth and nail to be with her, and finally we hit it off and began dating. I was her first boyfriend, sexual partner and relationship, she clearly wasn't ready to commit and be in one, over 8 months she tried to break up with me at least five times but changed her mind... Still, I loved her to death and she was saying and still says she loves me too and won't stop loving me.
Lately I realized she wasn't really trying anymore, wasn't bothering coming to sleep over, wasn't responding very well on the phone, we weren't having conversations like we used to... Then out of nowhere she breaks up with me saying she lost hope in us and doesn't wanna be in this relationship anymore, literally out of seemingly nowhere, no fight, nothing. Just the day before SHE was making plans for us, yet she says she's been thinking about it since december.
We had fights but if I were to tell what caused them (and I've made threads about it before) I believe literally everyone would be on my side, yet she could never see this. I feel so fucking alone and depressed, I have no friends. It feels like I'm back to my old, pointless life.
What now?
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>>18006256
>I have no friends
Fix it
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>>18006256
this is what happens when you beg and create a fantasy reciprocal relationship that never was
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>>18006309
This is what happens when you date someone with no commitment, relationship or even sexual experience. She didn't understand basic relationship concepts and was ready to jump ship at the first sight of a negative conversation, all the while claiming I'm the only one she ever loved and I mean so much and etc. She had never even so much as hooked up with someone seriously, she didn't even have "flings", nothing was ever significant in her life. And I knew all this, and her first experience being with someone was too much, too soon.
But knowing all this doesn't help me at all, and it still hurts.
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Hey /adv/. Im seriously depressed and i see no point in doing anything.
>Dad is the most stingiest and heartless person ive came across and ive been depressed because of just that for as long as i can remember. He is the main reason=
>Doing bad at college, might get kicked out if i dont start taking it seriously, but considering my current mindset, its almost impossible
>Met the girl of my dreams but unfortunately for me, i lost my phone the next day which had her number that i recently saved. she is australian, so im never meeting her ever again.
All around miserable and not motivated, i wanna change my perspective on life, i really do, but i dont know how to start
>Help me
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Seek professional help.
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>>18006248
Lol you self sabotaging yourself lad.
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>>18006411
cant broke college student. also that implies meds. im done with that shit. studies show it fucks up your brain. HELP
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I went out with this woman (shes 27 and im 23). She contacted me on facebook. That was september 2016. We went on a couple of dates and hang with her in her car. I basicaly fucked it up. I saw all the signs she gave me when i was with her in her car but i never act on them. When i do act on them its not important anymore. We didnt speak since november till today. I asked her what i did wrong and she told me im to soft on her, that im to carefull with her. Shes right cause i only kissed her once (she kissed me) on all those dates and i almost never touch her or look in her eyes. Im a bit shy but not like i never watch people in the eye. I guess my question is how do i man up cause its the carefullness with woman thats holding me back. When you see the sgns its her telling me to just do it??
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Practice and you need to take initiative. Women want to feel secure but also like a guy who takes action with them. When you see a sign or two, act on it. Social skills are like any other, they only get better with practice.
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she has a boyfriend now but i dont believe it. anyway, theres a woman who keeps smiling at me as soon as she sees me when i cross her pat after gym. she doesnt look away and her eyes get big and she keeps her smile as she walks past me. when i look back she looks at me too. im going to the gym today when i see her do i just talk to her, i want to...?
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>>18006300
Ahhhh OP, you're just like me. Shy but presumably attractive guy without experience. I keep my fingers crossed for both of us lol