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>Asked a long time friend out on a date
>She's says "she's me as a brother"
>She tells me to see a therapist
Where did I go wrong.
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Soooo..how did it go from a simple "not interested in a date" to "YOU NEED HELP!!"?
I asked a friend out on a date last night too and got turned down. It ended with smiley face emojis.
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>>18012137
kek
Did you smear "BE MY GF" in feces on her bedroom wall?
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>>18012137
>>She tells me to see a therapist
She sounds like a cunt. In no way was that an acceptable reaction on her part. Honestly I'm not sure what is wrong with women mentally, but they're not wired properly. And yes, I do mean all of them.
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Can you accidentally gaslight someone?
what is gaslighting?
>Gaslightingis a form ofmanipulationthat seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or members of a group, hoping to make targets question their own memory, perception, and sanity. Using persistentdenial, misdirection, contradiction, andlying, it attempts todestabilizethe target and delegitimize the target's belief
my ex gf said i was gaslighting but i dont think ive ever TRIED to do that to her. like ive never thought 'hey if i make her think shes crazy shell stay with me' but the things she is describing to me make me think i did do that to her.
additionally i cant seem to remember specific details about situations relating to our failing relationships. ive tried apologizing but it seems every time i do something that invalidates my apology.
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>>18012093
Technically yes, but also maybe SHE is trying to gaslight YOU.
Either way it sounds like it's good you broke up.
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>>18012093
Sounds more like she's just generally anxious and is now trying to make you responsible for her insecurities.
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Yeah... or well, you don't have to consciously plan to make her think she's crazy. In fact, I don't think most people who gaslight someone do. It's more often that they think little of that person and undermine their opinions, viewpoints and experiences in many ways. Like habitually saying "I can't imagine it was that bad", "I think you remember it wrong", "you tend to exaggerate", "I don't recall any of that". If you keep that up it's gaslighting because you'll eventually make them feel like they can't judge their own judgment or mind, but in itself it can just be a sign of how much you look down on them, rather than having a set out strategy with the goal to make them not trust themselves.
Let go of the motive for a bit. Did you ever act in a way that at surface level invalidates her experiences etc?
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How do I ask my family for a bit more respectful treatment in return for the financial support without making it seem like I'm demanding for them to beg for it?
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>>18012087
What's the context?
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>>18012090
Mom asks me money for mortage. She spends money she doesn't have. My sister lives with her. She doesn't work because of her depression.
They don't approve of my lifestyle so I try not to tell them about it, but sometimes I'll slip and mention something.
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>>18012157
Dude, my dude, nothing is going to make these people stop treating you like shit. You can give them an ultimatum and say that you're not going to support them unless they show you more respect but I'm guessing they've been perfectly content with treating you like shit and they're not going to want to change. What would they be doing if they DIDNT have you there to pay their bills?
You need to tell them it's sink or swim
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I need help, /adv/. I dunno what to do. So, long story short, I'm being kind to this guy online and one day he tells me that he that he dreamt of having sex all night with me.
I wanna continue being friends with this guy, but he wants to pursue a serious relationship with me. You may be asking, "Why not just reject him already?" Well, it's because he's a depressed alcoholic and I want him to better his life, but in doing so, he's falling in love with me.
Any helpful advice?
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>>18012068
>string guy along to get him out of alcoholic rut
>eventually he pushes too far and you have to drop the act
>the belated rejection makes him immediately fall off the wagon
I don't think you've thought this through, anon.
Don't commit yourself to trying to save a drowning man alone, he'll just drag you down with him. Help him build a support network of multiple people.
And yes, let him down sooner rather than later.
If he threatens to kill himself if you don't X don't fall for it, just call the police.
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>>18012073
This anon gets it
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>>18012073
I'm not stringing him along, or using feminine wiles to stop his depression or alchoholism. I'm legit being a good friend to him and supporting him, but he wants a serious relationship.
so this girl at my school and is a semi-professional model. ive seen her on the cover of a few magazines, at least.
anyway ive never spoken to her before in my entire life, i actually didnt know who she was until a few days ago.
it turns out that she has been having people take pictures of me for her and send them to her because she thinks i could be a model and wants to get me into the business because i "have that look" but she is too shy to ask me herself
im not really interested in modeling but i am interested in hooking up w/ her and hopefully fucking her.
this behavior is really weird and creepy though. seems like a total red flag. what do i do? also im doubting if she is even attracted to me or if this is just a thing that people in the modeling industry actually do
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>>18012061
OP
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>>18012061
>tfw OP is lucky but turns out to be an autist cuck
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>model
>shy
Nah mate
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So my best friend knows a girl really well. He's thinks of her like a sister. They have fights and don't speak for a few years every now and then. They also get drunk and make out every few years. My best friend also has a girlfriend that he seems pretty serious about, who kind of despises his friend for obvious reasons.
The thing is, his friend is 10/10. I'm one tab away from asking this girl if she is down to fuck. Do you think it is worth it?
I don't think my best friend would be cool with it at all, I'm not even positive she'd say yet, but I think it is kind of worth it, /adv/. She is that hot.
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>>18011994
You need to get your moral compass adjusted. Don't do it.
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She's his best friend, she'll tell him. So you are risking your relationship (it'll end over this, make no mistake) for the mere chance of getting to nail her. Some hot woman you don't even have feelings for.
If you think that's worth it, you need to do some serious introspection.
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>>18011994
They're supposed to be just friends. If this makes your friend butthurt, then he's just showing his true colors. You do you--he has no dibs on that ass.
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So basically a nigger just commented on my sister's pic that she was a hot piece of ass ahah! How can Istop being pissed off by this type of shit?
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By imagining as vividly as possible how angry you'd be if your sister tried to police who flirted with you.
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>>18011984
I was gonna agree with you and say you're in the right but you're an anime poster so nah
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>>18011984
>How can Istop being pissed off by this type of shit?
Why are you so angry? Do you want your sister for yourself?
Hey, I'm student from central/eastern europe, graduating from college this summer, and I got a few offers in the US, so I'm deciding where to move. My offers are:
1) New York City, NY ($110k base, $15k average yearly bonus, $20k yearly stock options, $25k signing bonus)
2) San Francisco, CA ($115k base, $20k average yearly bonus, no equity, $20k signing bonus)
3) Seattle, WA ($100k base, $10k average yearly bonus, $15k yearly stock options, $15k signing bonus)
4) Austin, TX ($90k base, $15k average yearly bonus, $15k yearly stock options, $15k signing bonus)
I know that these are all good salaries even for americans (they are straight up crazy for my country), and I'm blessed and thankful.
All have some kind of healthcare coverage + dental, didn't look into that that much, I don't really get sick. And all have some perks (free food/initial computer), but there aren't any so special, that it would be a deciding factor. The job in Seattle might be a little more interesting than others. What I like: freedom (low taxes, low regulations), guns, hiking, good food. Don't really care about the size of the house/apartment I'll be living in, I'm okay with a small studio apartment.
I know that SF/NYC has high taxes and strict gun laws, but they have a good food and a lot of entertainment opportunities. Washington has no income tax, which is cool. Austin has a good live music scene and should be cheaper than the others. I really hate the switching summer/winter seasons, so from this point of view, SF and Austin probably would be better. Other than that, I didn't consider anything else.
What do you think? Did I forget to consider something? Which one would you pick?
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>>18011961
what's the job?
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>>18011961
Obviously 3
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>>18011961
What did you study, and how good were your grades?
Anonymous
I want to get married but don't want a wedding.. 2017-02-01 02:31:26 Post No.18011956
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I want to get married but don't want a wedding.. 2017-02-01 02:31:26 Post No.18011956
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I want to get married but don't want a wedding..
Anonymous
2017-02-01 02:31:26
Post No. 18011956
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>tl;dr: GF wants perfect wedding that I can't afford. Doesn't seem to comprehend what a waste of money weddings are.
Me and my GF have the perfect chemistry. We've been talking about marriage lately and it seems that's where we differ. She wants a huge wedding with all of our family, a photographer, tailored suits, matching watches, custom flyers, invitations, diamond 18k white gold ring then honey moon to London. She wants the perfect wedding but I can't afford that at all and neither can she really.
We're in a country where the "average" wedding costs about $100,000 according to Google. She quotes "$50,000" when I ask her how much she thinks it'll cost as if it's a normal afordable number. Even splitting the costs I'm not okay with spending nearly a year of pay on this.
She makes more money than me but I'm in the military and make peanuts compared to her 55k a year job. Whenever I tell her how I couldn't possibly earn enough to afford this she looks at me like I'm some cheapo because I don't want to take out a loan or use a credit card to put myself in debt.
Is there a way I can "red pill" her on how much a waste of money all of this shit is? I'd be okay with spending like $5000 on a modest wedding and a nice ring but to her it's like she MUST have this simply because all her friends did. They're a bunch of college graduates with wealthy parents like her. We could really use that money for some much more productive like a home or first child.
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In my experience, a majority of the time the parents of the children being wed will cover a bulk of the costs.
Rich or not, it's like one of the last milestones for a parent, and they should do what they can to help out.
All they have after this, is grandkids and a funeral.
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Jesus that is expensive.
In the area I live in its customary for the bride's family to pay for the wedding, and that is excessive.
Since you both lack money, see if you can compromise on things, see if family would be willing to help out, etc.
I had a decent ceremony for $1,000, and I asked family members if they had extra decorations, and found a good photographer for cheap off craigslist.
Just talk it out with her and see if she would be willing to tone it down. It's not good to start a marriage in debt right off the bat.
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I don't think a wedding itself is very wasteful, celebrating the union of your girl with family and friends sounds like a worthwhile moment in our short time here.
With that said it should be within reason too, you should tell her a budget wedding doesn't undermine the value and importance of that special day and if she really wants to, you guys could do that special wedding of her dreams later down the line as a special 25th anniversary or whatever.
Anonymous
TIPS ON FINDING WORK IN JAPAN? 2017-02-01 02:24:25 Post No.18011946
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TIPS ON FINDING WORK IN JAPAN? 2017-02-01 02:24:25 Post No.18011946
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TIPS ON FINDING WORK IN JAPAN?
Anonymous
2017-02-01 02:24:25
Post No. 18011946
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21 year old weeb with a Psychology degree, basically no work experience (currently "helping" in my family's small restaurant business). I don't know how to go from here, /adv/. I'm thinking of getting a job in Japan, maybe I can apply as an English teacher there first, then find an office job later or something. I'm currently learning Japanese for about half a year now so I'm not at a level where I can converse in the language. I'm tired of being a NEET and being a shame to my parents. So, tips on where to start? Links on job application, general tips, anything would be useful.
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>>18011946
How much do you weigh?
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I got a masters in Japan then got a job here. Maybe you should do that.
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>>18011951
110 pounds skelly.
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My gf broke up with me three days ago. She just changed her Facebook status to "single" and I'm fucking dying inside. The entire time we were together she:
>didn't wanna talk whenever possible, she'd go to work, be on Facebook and not call me at all
>didn't wanna meet whenever possible, she liked us not to see each other so much so we wouldn't "get boring"
>didn't wanna have sex more than once per week
>didn't wanna sleep her more than once per month
>whenever she slept here, she'd wake up and then leave first thing in the morning
>didn't wanna include me in any activities with her friends
>wanted to do anything, at any time she wanted, thought I could have no opinion about her life whatsoever despite being together
>wanted to like pictures of other dudes online, even shirtless, even exes, and thought it was "no big deal"
>I'd sometime catch her ignoring text messages
>said she never felt jealous of me and that I should never feel jealous about anything
>despite ALL THIS, said I was her first love, that she was totally committed to this heart and soul
>broke up with me saying she needed to think more about herself, because she'd been thinking about me too much
The entire time I felt repressed and constantly afraid she'd break up with me, and she did. She said she didn't feel our connection and didn't love me like she used to.
My sister says she never really wanted to commit to me to begin with and had no idea how to be in a relationship. Is this true? And is there no hope for us anymore?
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>>18011928
>My sister says she never really wanted to commit to me to begin with and had no idea how to be in a relationship. Is this true? And is there no hope for us anymore?
Listen to your sister. I have no idea why this woman decided to date you, but based on what you've posted, you were never in a real relationship. She was using you.
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>>18011943
She had never dated or loved anyone before. This made me feel like I was really special at first, even if her actions said otherwise.
She'd have these long stretches of disdain and distance coupled with bursts of incredible passion that made me hopeful for us.
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Forget dat girl anon.. il finden another one ... she wount be the one ether, illegalen garanti it... just go in to Relationships knowing they will endlich sooner or later (max 1 year) cause Depending on how old u are, there will be plenty of relationships in your life ... and thats good, cause it make u a better lover / Partner every time one of you brake up... because what counts is that in the end, you find a woman that truely live you / and vice versa of curse... for example ... I also had my Hand full of heart breaks... but that feeling will Pass ... you will learn to exept the ending of a Relationship. .. and with that you can learn. .. learn how to speak, love, make love and simply her happy. .. all for the final women ... the one you will keep for ever (hopefully, unless ur a unfaithfull fag oc xD)
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I want to fuck my best friend's GF so bad. She's also my "best friend". When we're alone we talk very intimate. When we dance, the way she fucking grinds on me, and I put my hands all over. She's one of the hottest girls I've ever seen. I can tell she wants it bad too but has to try really hard to resist, just like me. I can tell whenever we get slightly physical... which happens often.
How do I stop myself from eventually breaking? I really value both of their friendships for reasons beyond just being there and being attractive. I like them as people. We are all so similar. Shes been trying to keep her distance lately, but she always come to me for consul on something. Then we touch, it gets heavy, and it's like a fucking teasing dance we keep jumping around.
Help!
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>>18011864
stay away from her even if she come to you for counsel
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>>18011864
Are you both 15?
Act like an adult and distance yourself from her pronto.
Either she is confused and she needs to figure out if she wants to break up with that boyfriend she is nearly cucking, either she is keeping you on the stove for the occasional ego boost and help, either she's a full in skank who revels in the attention.
You're an enabler and a shit friend, grinding with your best friends gf and getting lewd with her.
If you were my best friend and I knew this, I'd have kicked her out and punched you in the face.
Just because you are a hornet oiece of hormones at this point doesn't mean what you are doing is right and all the justifications of the world as to why you should stay in contact with her are wrong.
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So this might come as a shock, but you're probably not "best friends" with either of them. Best friends usually don't want to have sex with each other's girlfriends so.
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So, it's been a couple of months and my earlobes are kind of always irritated, even when I care very much for them. It's not an infection, just a cronic irritation. If anyone have some useful advice about stretchings it would be fantastic! thanks in advance.
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>>18011853
then stop stretching your ears you dubm cuck
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>>18011859
Just if there is no possible solution!
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So the best thing to do here would be to just probably stop.
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I cant get over the girl I lost my virginity to 2 years ago, and I constantly think about her even though she doesn't want anything to do with me, am I "in love" or just obsessed?
Pic very unrelated
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(OP) and how might I get over her?
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Somebody pls
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it takes time. took me 5 years to get over my first. i wanted her to be my last. sadly, for a lot of us, it will simply not be this way.
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I got really depressed 3 months ago, but found someone on /r9k/ who lives near me and wanted to get introduced to alcohol by me, so he came every weekend over and we spent these 3 days drinking together, during his college break and he stayed at my place all day long. We fell asleep together, mostly because we both pass out at the same times, but last weekend he started crying and told me how much he loves me and I'm the closest person to him, that he wants to please me in every way possible. I never had the desire to fuck a guy, even he is "cute", trapping or whatever, so I'm not sure how to go from here. My usual way would be to cut the contact completely, but he knows where I live, so it won't be that easy, what should I do?
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tell him "ayy lmao no guilt trippin allowed" then cut contacts and if he shows up too much call the police for dat stalker.
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>>18011789
What is a temporary depression to you is more likely than not a lifestyle for people on /r9k/, I mean, didn't you get that from posting there?
I guess that the short route would be to say that you aren't attracted to men but I think you got a whiny Elliot Rodgers on your hand who will try a whole lot of stuff to keep in touch with you. I'd try to let them down softly at first by saying that behaviour is creepy and it made you uncomfortable, and if he's self-loathing enough he might just go full
"I knew it nobody likes me whaaa I need to cut myself" or similar. Most likely you will need to repeat the message of "leave me alone you socially ill adjusted person" with increasing nastiness until they get the message.
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I'm sorry if my typing or grammar is bad, I drunk quite a bit last night.
>>18011797
No, I usually feel okay with drinking everyday, but sometimes the desire to have someone else to drink with someone else exists. The major problem is that he got so close to me instead of just seeing it as spending time with someone with equally bad problems. He cut in the past and still does it sometimes, but mostly because he's a masochist instead of depression reasons. I already made the joke that one day he will kill me or I'll him, so that would be a funny outcome. But yeah, someone else telling me this sort of stuff just weirds me out, so telling him that I think we shouldn't drink together anymore would be the right way to go?
>>18011795
Does the police even care about male on male stalking?