Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2626. page

>>18014590
>How fucked am I?

...In terms of what?

Well, you're out of school, you've obviously got a place to stay, and you aren't in debt, so...

Not that fucked.

Still young, you can still get your shit together. I wouldn't worry about it. I mean, you probably won't be becoming a fucking astronaut or anything, but your children will have plenty of breadcrumbs to eat.

>>18014592
College

You're normal. The idea of anyone liking my ex after the breakup bothered me because he's an abusive tweaker who molested his sisters. I sent everyone warning messages. You could explain to your mutuals that you don't want him knowing anything...

>>18014573

Well this person in particular did approach me and said something along the lines of "you don't mind if I speak to your ex do you?" saying that my ex messaged her to see how she was. I said I didn't mind as long as they kept me out of the conversation completely. When I told her this I thought the messaging would be a one time thing but it seems like they might continue talking and actually meet in person which makes me uncomfortable.

I don't trust my friend to catch up with my ex over coffee and have the subject of me not come up at all as I was their only tie to each other. So easiest thing for me to do is distance myself from this friend if she proceeds to go down this road. No hard feelings to her its just not what I want.

I don't want it to be a "me or her" situation, I don't want to appear petty, its just how I feel.

>>18014582
You're not petty.

I didn't directly say, "this makes me uncomfortable and I'd like you to stop" but it's not like he doesn't have all the facts now. This morning, he still did it. If I tell him, I'm worried it will turn into another fight because he's doing it because he loves me. If he loved me, he'd be more respectful of my boundaries, I think. Also, "I do this because I love you" isn't very reassuring. My dad would say he hits me because he loves me.

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22KB, 799x497px

>>18014555
>>18014553
this man is putting up with a lot of shit, maybe its time for you to put up with some shit

>>18014864
This, expecting him to be the perfect boyfriend and a free caretaker is unrealistic. People in your position don't get happy endings, just endings with slightly less suffering if you're lucky. Yes it's not fair, but hey that's life.

I'm never having children, how could anyone when there's a chance they end up in an impossible position like yours.

Happiness is not a destination. Happiness is a state of mind and being.

>>18014546
That's the thing, nothing I do to my mind, nothing I do to try make things better, or anything that may bring to think happy thoughts work.

All I think when that happens is, gee well this was fun while it lasted, savor it while it lasts because it's not here for long.

I don't know. Anything I try just doesn't work -- I get it happiness is a state of mind, I have to change the way I think and how I am, but I don't even know how to go about that

>>18014546
It's neither you fucking cocksucker. Happiness is a fleeting feeling that you are biologically designed to be incapable of holding onto.

OP I know how you feel. You've got a few options:

1) go to a clinical therapist and get medicated. It's not the best solution and it takes a lot of time but it genuinely helps a small set of people with this kind of malaise-depression.

2) get your money together, take a long sabbatical from work, and pursue your dream with everything you have. It's risky, but if you're truly pursuing what you want then you'll at least feel real agency again

3) Continue to distract yourself from Ennui with entertainment as you slowly march to the grave

>>18014485

who broke up with who?

>>18014489
He broke up with me

it sounds like you still have some unsettled feelings for him. I don't think you should cut off your friend, because it wont deal with the root of the issue.

Also its worth forgiving your friend for whatever their relationship is, that's out of your control.

Put something funny but not edgy as your quote.

Or something inspiring but mundane.

If you're really clever go for a weird literary in-joke that sounds inspiring but is taken out of context and is actually about gay ballsacks or something, idk..


But don't go dark. Seriously. Those are the worst, cringiest fucking things to look back on. Mine was edgylite, the more RANDUMXD type psuedo-edge than real deep edge. Just don't fucking do it to yourself. My friends who did, holy shit. Embarrassed as fuck now. Just had 5 yr reunion and whew.

Anyway, maybe do cringe if you're super funny and can get away with it ironically. But you probably can't.

>>18014486
"Cringiest things to look back on..."

Yeah, like 5 minutes after you get the book, and then maybe 20 years later if you get curious and still own the thing.

I wouldn't sweat it, OP.

Just put something in it that has significance to you. Anything you do is going to seem retarded in retrospect.

Here in the UK you get an entire page so mine was 'my page number, check'em'.

Page nimber was 169. :^(

Just do it man,
You will torture yourself for the rest of your life wondering "What if" if you don't
If you do, and she rejects you, at least you get closure
If she likes you, THEN POUND THE FUCK OUTTA THAT STANKY PUCCI

>>18014461
I could also torture myself by saying "what if I didn't"

>>18014455

Do it.

Bump
We're seriously fucked right now and I don't know what to do.

Get a job
Save
Move
Duh?

Let your wife and kid live with her folks. Take the car, go out in the world and find a job (or a better one), and live in the car to save money until you can get a better place for your loved ones.

Bump, also sorry for numbers inconsistency. I'm turning 24 in three days so I thought I'd err on the side of creepiest then forgot.

One last bump I guess

>>18014374
After 18+ it is not that weird to date an older/younger chick at all. The ideal maximum range is possibly ten years, because of life goals and shit but aside from that, it's not creepy. However, if you feel like it wouldn't work because of your age gap, it definitely won't.

I am not qualified as anything so don't listen to me but, try doing something different. Maybe your life is very monotonous and not exciting. When I was in uni all the activities I did was literally sleep, go to class and study in between classes everyday. I noticed myself not being able to remember much about previous classes from even the day before.

Do you smoke weed? At all?

You could just be mentally retarded like me.

When I was young, I hit my head really hard on a steel door, like... full sprint into a steel door head-first. Ever since then, my thoughts are always really clouded, and I have the worst memory. I'll sit down sometimes, do something, get up, and then sit back down to do the thing again only to find it already done. It's terrible.

I hardly retain anything, and my thoughts are always this jumbled mess. When I try to recall a word or something, my brain just mashes letters together nonsensically, and in no particular pattern.

I never remember the days of the week, the order of the months, the alphabet.. Shit's terrible.

>>18014352
>I have a hard time trying to make sense out of this
How? She's not into you. Seems pretty simple to me.

>>18014355
This unfortunately buddy. The best thing you can do is cut her off, they come and go. Life is unfair

>>18014355
>>18014357
She's saying that she is into me, but doesn't want the relationship at the moment and that I should give her some pause.

>>18014357
Yeah, I understand this is the best option for me, to cut her off. Fuck, that will be hard to do.

>>18014350
It's just snoo.

>>18014350
AIDS

So fucking white, ima save this and use it for my phone flashlight anon!!

Get serious about therapy. Meds alone for anxiety have a shit outcome. I'm not anti-meds at all, but meds alone won't work for anxiety.

Your life can change. I don't have severe anxiety, but I am bipolar. It fucking ruined my life. I'm older than you, and I'm still working just my 2nd job and I'm still very slowly trying to get my degree. But you gotta get serious about the right kind of help. It's life-changing.

>>18014325

Stop putting all your problems together into a huge mess. Break it down into smaller things. Turn off your phone/laptop for a couple of hours and work it out, pen and paper style. Consider talking to your parents about this issue.

I can only help you ye much, but for example;

>I live with my parents,

Accept that for now, it's not a bad thing- if anything it's good because it's support for you. One of your longer term goals is to move out.

>I don't have any friends anymore, pratically didn't see them since highschool because I never wanted to hook up with them because of my anxiety.

Your anxiety got the best of you, but now you're on the road to recovery. Your goal is now to work towards finding / re-establishing friendships, perhaps a short term goal would be to reach out and make contact with one of these people.

>Simple tasks in life like talking to strangers or buying something in a shop is impossible for me.

They feel impossible to you, but they are not impossible. A short term goal for this would be to go and buy a snack from your nearest shop every day for a week.

>I never had any jobs,

You will get a job, it's a goal of yours, once you deal with the bigger problems.

>I'm a virgin.

You will have sex, it's a goal of yours, once you deal with the bigger problems.

>Weed only made me feel worse and sick when I did it in highschool.

You can try weed again and it might work out for you.

The human mind is really amazing and there's a lot of potential to change, it is vital that you believe in yourself, and I know that inside of you there is part of you that knows you can change and knows that you will. Here are some tried and tested things that will help;

>Regular exercise
>Voluntary work
>Meditating
>Eating well
>Sleeping well

Consider a daily routine as well, it can help you focus and feel better. One day at a time, you will get out of this~ I know you are more than capable!

>>18014356

Sorry I want to add;

>Simple tasks in life like talking to strangers or buying something in a shop is impossible for me.

Firstly, it FEELS impossible, doesn't mean that it IS impossible. You just FEEL that it IS. Even if you FEEL it's impossible, it is still possible.

Secondly, really break this down into incredibly simple goals. Instead of saying;

>I'm suffering from anxiety, I'm a virgin, I'm never going to have a girlfriend! I can't even go to a shop!

Break your problems down into ridiculously simple goals. Here's an example with going to the shop;

>Walk past the shop every day for a week
>Go in the shop and buy a snack every day of the week
>Go to a different shop every day of the week (browse/buy)
>Go to two different shops every day of the week (browse/buy)
>Go to a different shop every day of the week and talk to a sales assistant about a product (closed question)
>Go to a different shop every day of the week and talk to the sales assistant about a product (open question)

If you were to do this, you're basically perfecting the art of going into shops. Start gently but just keep upping the challenge. It might seem ridiculous; "Walk PAST a shop!? How would that help!?" but that's part of the charm. Really simplify and water things down.

Don't be hard on yourself if you miss a day, or something doesn't go to plan.

You are cancer.

>>18014323
>she says "sorry sweety I prefere bad boys...
>feeling bad
P O E T R Y
O
E
T
R
Y

>talking about "our stories"
>she says "sorry sweety I prefere bad boys..
>feeling bad
>feeling no point in texting more.

So basically;

>Got to know each other a bit
>She prefers unhealthy relationships
>Realise she's not your type
>Realise that you don't have much in common and decide to find someone more suitable rather than waste your efforts on someone that you disagree with on a basic and fundamental level....

Depends how you look at it man. If I were you, I'd feel happy, because you can go out and find a woman that likes you for you and not one that wants you to behave in a stupid way that she's likely been told to like and not actually thought about it herself ever.

>>18014317
Depends on the girl.
For me - keep going, but slow down till you eventually stop.

>>18014317
>Girl is orgasming
Gonna need some proof and I don't mean a quick piss that some idiots call "squirting"

>>18014324
legs/arms kinda tense up,clit gets very hard,butthole twitching like crazy and at the end shes shaking
dont think shes faking it,otherwise shes been trying to rip out my hair just for fun