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Do any of you know of reliable free online psychological services?
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>>18040708
nope, because you need to be in person to get a read of someone. go the fuck outside.
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Tell me about yourself, anon
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>>18040714
18 years old, 200cm, 110kg, male.
Bloodtype A. Place of residence: Chicago, IL.
Raised by a single mom and had a number of childhood issues, ranging from school bullying to being almost murdered by my own mother.
I don't know what to do with my life now that I'm 18. I wish I could start with getting a job, but nobody is hiring me, I don't know how to look for a job, I don't have any of that networking shit. I just want to get a job. I also want to study and join a very good university, I wanted to read books, learn how to program, bachelor in a STEM field, but I feel my brain is shrinking. I keep getting memory loss. I also can't study. I have some sort of severe ADHD or something. The only things I used to like were anime and videogames, but now for some reason I have decided not to allow myself to watch/play those, even though I still like them and there's nothing physical preventing me to do so, it's like I'm waiting for something. I don't know, man. All I do is search for jobs online (10% of my time) and 90% of the time I'm here on imageboards, compensating for my absolute lack of social interactions as I never had anyone be friendly to me Irl, I barely can go outside. There are some more things but that's it basically.
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Soup /adv/.
My life is currently at a very weird stage of "nothing is objectively wrong and everything on the outside is perfectly fine, but also everything is wrong". I'm 21 and I've been struggling with depression for a few years now - it's varied from times when I felt like eh, being hit by a train right now would be pretty convenient, to two admissions to psychiatric units and a suicide attempt.
And right now, I'm in a confusing position where I actively want to commit suicide...but I don't want to die. I hate my life and everything that it is right now and genuinely feel like there's no exit, that nothing I can do will turn it around for the better without first spending years being worse.
...But I don't want to die. I try to picture myself dead on the floor in my room and it hurts. I know I still have things to live for and things that still bring me joy. It's just that right now I'm so deep into this shitty hole, that I see no feasible way of getting out of it.
SO. I was wondering if any anon out there would be willing to talk to me about all this. Someone who's had similar experiences or at least kind of knows that it's like to be in this position. I want to talk to someone but don't want to tell any of my friends that I want to kill myself. It's hard to tell that to someone who cares about you. That's why I'm reaching out to a stranger.
If I get a response I'll put up contact info of some sort. Thanks y'all, and keep on keeping on.
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Been there. Describe why you feel/are trapped. School,work,family,home life?
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Read "Happiness" by Matthieu Ricard.
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>>18040765
I super appreciate you responding but I feel like it's kind of a big, biiiig tl;dr to be posted here. Any way we could talk elsewhere? If you don't want to give contact info or add me on anything, we could just have a conversation over tinychat or something like that.
>>18040780
The majority of self-help books really don't do anything for me.
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how do i stop buying asian restaurant food and save money? i get hungry a lot, like i finish lunch and i'm still hungry. i'm also looking for a cheap alternative to outside food. and i don't like granola bars btw.
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Eat a big breakfast and drink Coffee throughout the day until it's super. Coffee will make you not have an appetite.
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Intermittent fasting.
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>>18040612
there are many different types of granola bars, so try not to limit yourself.
fruit is easy to travel, worse case scenario you put it in a ziploc bag.
though if you dont care about health just buy some fucking candy or snack cakes.
Nothing makes me hate life like 'nofriends'.
I have people on my friend list. I know one person I see regularly, but he never offers to hang out. Usually I'll have to ask him if he's going down to the bar, and he'll often respond, so that we both end up there. Sometimes he's said sorry he can't make it or whatever, but other than that its total radio silence from him.
The rest of the people 'in my life' are the same way. The only person that ever calls me out of the blue or texts me is someone I've known forever and its almost like its implied that we'll do something together when he comes back into town.
Everyone else its me that has to make the first step every single time, so it basically feels like people don't view me as important except for this one person.
Is it normal to never get contacted by supposed friends?
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>>18040576
Is it normal to assume that other people should be initiating.
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>>18040583
I think it'd be normal to assume 50/50 right?
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>>18040576
Just ask these people why it's always you contacting them.
Anonymous
Ex Sent me a FR, what does she want 2017-02-11 06:01:59 Post No.18040481
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Ex Sent me a FR, what does she want 2017-02-11 06:01:59 Post No.18040481
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Ex Sent me a FR, what does she want
Anonymous
2017-02-11 06:01:59
Post No. 18040481
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So, my ex (we were together for 2.5 years) just saw me for the first time in 5 months last night, and I had NCed her for 3 solid months. She realized that I had joined the military, have a 4.0, money, etc.
This morning I got a friend request from her on facebook. The reason she told me she left me is that she didn't love me anymore, and that she didn't know what she wanted. I made it pretty clear I DIDN'T want to be friends.
What is the reason she's trying to reconnect now?
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>>18040481
Cut all contact.
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>>18040487
And never look back.
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>>18040489
I mean, I already have.
But when she saw me last night she started crying and shit, and I have no idea why because she's the one who dumped me.
Anonymous
How the hell do you know you love someone? . 2017-02-11 05:23:05 Post No.18040386
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How the hell do you know you love someone? . 2017-02-11 05:23:05 Post No.18040386
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How the hell do you know you love someone? .
Anonymous
2017-02-11 05:23:05
Post No. 18040386
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So, the quick version is that I've got a girl who's kinda obsessed with me at work, and that'd be fine and dandy if it weren't for the fact that I'm in a relationship. Have been for almost a year, actually.
Now, I love my gf, at least I think so. I think about her day and night, go see her at work, and we send these really sickeningly mushy texts every morning and night. We're a high school couple, essentially -I know I'm in love at the very least.
But this girl at work...Holy hot damn is she cute. We've talked about starting a DnD group, which took a turn and ended with me getting nudes and sending some back.
I think I love my girlfriend, but if I'm thinking about fucking another girl does that mean it's not love? I know I've got a chance for a long life with her, but I want to smash work girl.
Tl;Dr: social retard trying to figure out whether or not he loves someone.
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When you still love her after seeing the other end of he rassholr
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You're attracted by the other girl solely because she happen to be physically attractive and is an open and undisputable opportunity to have casual sex (which your monkey brain is wired to crave). In my opinion there's more to love than that, or at least there ought to.
The ideal thing in this situation would probably be a threesome, but it's gonna be hard convincing either of them.
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I did something like this. Except I cheated. Didn't care if I lost her or not I thought I found something better. I felt that 2 years was dragging and thought it was getting stale. I tried to leave her but she begged me to stay and I couldn't say no. At that point the other girl and I had only made out and I got a few blowjobs. Then I fucked her and two years have passed by and I'm terrified she's going to find out and I feel so guilty about it I went from being atheist to being worried for my mortal soul
It might be different for you but I'd wait a while since infatuation can be a really strong feeling and last up to 4 months. Don't be the type to drop her for someone you just met
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Have you ever been inexplicably sexually attracted to someone you know is very physically ugly?
I have a manager at work who is a 2/10 if that. He's also 10 years my senior, has a glass eye, is a bit overweight. We have no similar interests but have a very similar world view. Despite this I have great chemistry and a natural connection with him, he is a masculine, strong minded and intelligent man with an abundance of other traits I admire. I'm average, people tell me I'm pretty but I know I'm nothing to write home about.
He's going to be leaving in just over a week and as I'm working with him on Saturday alone, he'll be giving me a ride home.
I am tempted to hit on him just to see what it feels like/if the attraction is still there, but I'm holding back because it's a bit insenstive and reckless.
What should I do?
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You have discovered that looks and physical traits are rarely an obstacle if the other stuff's right.
"Very physically ugly" would be an incredible insult to the person I loved last, but in regards of looks only, I would never have considered her. But I deemed her personality and our interactions amazing.
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u ugly bitch smd
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>>18040375
Had the exact same thing happening to me. He is not the best looking guy I've ever seen - overweight, bald, bad facial aesthetics. But, fuck, I've always wanted him more than anyone. It was super primal.
We have been dating for 3 years, and I'm happy as fuck.
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When you KNOW its never going to get better. What then?
I am never going to change. The damage is too deep rooted and has gone on for too long. I spend every waking minute of every day living in a state of disbelief at how terrible my life is, how much I have failed, how I am genetic garbage.
The obvious answer would be suicide but I know I'll never have the guts. So I simply exist as a self-destructive manchild in a constant negative feedback loop that leads to existential terror.
What the fuck do I do?
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>>18040358
bruh, just get laid.
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>>18040358
No one knows anything with 100% certainty so anything's possible. If you don't want to kill yourself then embrace life and take the necessary steps to improve yours.
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>>18040358
get a hobby or do sports
it's just as easy as that, all you have to do is force yourself (but that's the hardest part by far).
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>anon can I ask you something
>yea sure
>you said you never had a girlfriend, are you a virgin?
>yes
>woah
>is that bad?
>I don't know
>You don't know?
>Not that specifically, but I want a guy who isn't shy and knows what he wants. Are you that?
how do I respond?
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>>I want a guy who isn't shy and knows what he wants. Are you that?
>proceeds to make a thread on 4chan so others answer for him.
lmao.
>how do I respond?
"No", obviously.
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>>18040344
This^
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What the... Dont reply and fuck her right in the pussy
Anonymous
husband/father needs advice 2017-02-11 04:39:16 Post No.18040311
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husband/father needs advice 2017-02-11 04:39:16 Post No.18040311
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husband/father needs advice
Anonymous
2017-02-11 04:39:16
Post No. 18040311
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Im a husband and father of 4 and dont know who else to ask anymore. Up until 3 weeks ago i was working day shift in the factory i work at which was fine up at 4 in bed by 8 my wife put herself on that schedule which was fine. To explain further this is the problem, she puts herself on my sleep scedule even though she is a stay at home mom. Anyway ive recently moved to nights where i get off arpund 11 get home 1145 after major shower, i grt blacker than night, eat and relax for maybe 20-30 minutes im in bed by 1-2 in the morning, and as usual my wife is puting herself on my schedule. The problem here is we have 4 boys, ages 6, 4, 2 , 1. Two of these kids are in school get on the bus a little after 7 in the morning. Its becomeing more prevelent wheres she not getting up to put them on the bus leaving me getting no sleep putting them on bus and staying up with pthet two boys who should not be left unattended. Even when she does put thrm on the bus she comes back to bed leaving thr baby in thr crib and the two year old to play on the phone until 11. I find this completly unacceptable but she thinks its fine and everyone would agree with her. She wont listen what do?
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Unfortunately I can't give advice because I'm not qualified, but for what it's worth, I totally agree with you.
There is little valid reason for her to adopt your sleep cycle. You are the sole breadwinner; it's extremely important for the whole family that you be able to get enough and good sleep. Surely she should realize that from a purely logical perspective. Further, as it seems you have adopted the traditional family model, looking after the kids is basically her 'job', and why she's doing right now is essentially not showing up to work on time.
Further, letting a 2 year old play on a smartphone is just way too much imo.
As for the 1 year old, the appropriateness of what she's doing is dependent on the baby's own sleep cycle.
It just doesn't make sense. I would wonder is there anything else going on, like with her health? Or maybe even emotions etc?
In terms of convincing her, maybe try talking to her mother or something? (Would depend on both yours and your wife's relationship with the mother in law)
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>>18040400
*smartphone for 4 hours every day
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>>18040400
there is always something going on emotionally or physically with her. most of the time i realise hey its not her fault but i think she wanta to keep herself in that spot. i jist dont know anymore. if i dont get sleep at my job i xould very easily slip up and lose a finger, hand, an arm, or even my life!
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Hey /adv/ I have a question regarding abuse and friendships. When I was 12 I made the mistake of befriending the daughter of a large scale crime Lord. At the start it wasn't completely abusive, just threats like how I can't make any other friends or that I was a spastic because of my learning difficulties.
Later on when I was 15-16 it became more serious with her beating on me with batons she would sneak in to school and spitting on me when no one was looking etc. She would then at this point tell me how she only made me do things for her so as entertainment and she couldn't give a shit about me and I quote "could fall under a bus and shed laugh". I couldn't start back at her, hit her back, or just stop talking to her as she would legitimately get her father to kill my entire family (he had done it before to others) and now fast forward to me now being 20 the situation is the same but I simply cannot deal with the abuse anymore. What should I do /adv/?
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Gain respect or demand respect. Draw a line.youre 20 now. If you're still being bullied by your girl friend you need to tell her you won't put up with her.
Say it like, I can be your friend and we can hangout but this bullshit has to stop. We're not kids anymore. If you can't respect that, then you're not brings good friend and perhaps we should end our friendship.
Forget about the killing part. It's either death or constant torture. I'd pick the peace of death or the chance that she might actually respect you.
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>>18040233
Run
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>>18040245
I see I guess it is probably worth putting all my cards on the table, I mean the main problem I have is my families safety rather then my own you know. It's also like after 8 years what would she even say?
Anonymous
How to calm down properly 2017-02-11 03:53:20 Post No.18040210
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How to calm down properly 2017-02-11 03:53:20 Post No.18040210
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How to calm down properly
Anonymous
2017-02-11 03:53:20
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I've asked how to stop overthinking here before, and got the advice to meditate, but when I went to look it up I only found stuff that is spiritual, and I simply want to clear my head.
Overthinking is having a big impact on me, in fact it's caused me to have some pretty severe depression. I can't get over stuff because it keeps coming in to my head and I can't get it out again.
Does anyone know what I should be doing to meditate properly? Or what I should do once I'm in a relaxed state? Thank you.
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Watch this please. It's not spiritual not mystical, it's highly practical and relatable.
Ajahnn Brahma is one cool dude.
https://www.youtube.com/shared?ci=R2250qn8Hl0
I suggest you read up on meditation instructions by Jon Kabat Zinn . He's secular but incorporate Buddhist mindfulness for westerners. And he's great too, I think he did a Google talk once.
You should stay relaxed and maintain that level of relaxation. Everything is better when you're not stressed
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>>18040229
Thank you so much for replying, truth be told I've been struggling like mad today, I needed a good response.
I just want to be ok, but my mind gets in the way. Thanks again.
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Have you ever considered crystal gems? They're pretty cheap. You can get jewelry or just a stone and keep it in your pocket. They can be used for spiritual meditation but they don't have to.
I keep certain types on me because I hate myself and have anxiety and over think. Most crystals in general have a calming effect, but I've got and few favorites.
If you're interested in crystals let me know but I have other advice;
I know it's hard to contain the thoughts, but you need to have and designates worry period every day. If you're at work and have a thought, push it to the back of your mind. Wait until there's a time where you have an hour alone and just think away. Let it all out. I hope I've helped in SOME way....
"Here comes a thought that might alarm you
What someone said and how it harmed you
Something you did that failed to be charming
Things that you've said are suddenly swarming
You're losing thought, you're losing touch. All these little things seem to matter so much"
But just know you will be ok
Anonymous
asexual but not aromantic 2017-02-11 03:52:39 Post No.18040208
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asexual but not aromantic 2017-02-11 03:52:39 Post No.18040208
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asexual but not aromantic
Anonymous
2017-02-11 03:52:39
Post No. 18040208
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What do you do when you are asexual but have some interest in having a romantic relationship?
Do you specifically look for the 1% asexual people?
Or just forget about having a relationship?
Do you have to explain that you are asexual as soon as you start a relationship?
I guess I could have sex just for the other person but I would probably suck at it.
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What does 'romantic relationship' even mean?
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>>18040208
You search for someone asexual, o you let your partner have sex with someone else.
You say it as soon as possible and are open about it. You're wasting their time purposely if you don't.
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>>18040208
Try apps like Okcupid, they have specific Asexual labels and you might get lucky with finding someone compatible with you in the area.
>>18040211
Basically all the cute adorable loving stuff couples do together, but without the sex.
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Is it just me or are girls on average more socially confident than guys?
How come?
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Girls flock together more, it's rarer for to have had few or no friends while growing up. And if they do, female friendships even among children tend to be more expressly about developing people skills. Boys playing together will often just focus on the play at hand, whereas girls more often share secrets and console each other, essentially setting a precedent for romance and mature adult friendship.
Also female friendship gets a lot of shit and has a negative image, but girls absolutely do build each other up and reassure each other during insecure teenage years.
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They know men are more desperate for pussy than they are for dick, and that men have lower standards. Also it's easier for women to be average attractive these days.
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>>18040131
Men have lower standars so girls are more confident because they know they don´t need to do much.
Anonymous
Is an extremely submissive gf who has no friends whatsoever a red flag? 2017-02-11 02:39:40 Post No.18040076
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Is an extremely submissive gf who has no friends whatsoever a red flag? 2017-02-11 02:39:40 Post No.18040076
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Is an extremely submissive gf who has no friends whatsoever a red flag?
Anonymous
2017-02-11 02:39:40
Post No. 18040076
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5 years ago I was married to my ex wife, an Iranian American
>9/10 face
>6/10 body
>network of family, friends round the world
>highly intelligent and knowledgeable
>domineering, banshee, demonized me
>threw tantrums, hit herself, cried loudly for hours getting police called several times
>almost no sex drive (for me) at all
>clean laundry invariably piled on bedroom floor never folded never put away
>able to cook but very rarely did and if so always too low calorie to suffice as a real meal
>once a bulk pot oatmeal she made and never finished became full of maggots and she still refused to clean it herself since it was revolting
>showered < once a week
>vehemently refused to go out with me for any activities that weren't her own hobbies, not even for a walk in the park
>social butterfly
>fascinating to converse with and adept at conversation
>truly loved me and wanted my happiness but was a disaster to live with
Fast forward to gf of today
>6/10 face and refuses to wear any makeup (sore subject)
>8/10 petite body
>10/10 hair
>10/10 cute delicate little feet
>hypersexual, servile, kinky
>extremely submissive once I behaved dominantly
>aspires to be a housewife
>believes men should be in charge and not do housework
>no friends
>no social life outside her family
>knowledgeable about nothing
>poor understanding of basic arithmetic (what's 100/4 in your head)
>socially conservative, parrots mother
>worse than me at conversation (and I'm a sperglord)
>like talking to a brick wall
>loses the plot in movies or shows
>will do anything I tell her and go with me to any activity I want
>truly loves me
She's everything I want except her face and how boring she is. I will never feel connected to her like I did to my crazy ex, because she just doesn't have enough going on upstairs. But she would make a great wife. Maybe I should stay with her and find friends to intellectually connect with instead. But it's so not the same as being on the same wavelength as your lover.
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>>18040076
Oh, and my ex had decent b cups while my current gf has barely there a cups. Shallow as it is I wouldn't be making this thread if my gf was stacked
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>hypersexual, servile, kinky
>believes men should be in charge and not do housework
>no friends
Pretty big red flags, and on top of that she's just fucking stupid
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My only relationship to this day was the type of relationship you are describing. That girl was cool and i loved her but she was just very boring, had no social life, was bad at conversations... moreover we didn't really have any common interest. We ended up not seein each other for 2 months, and that's how we realized we just didn't love each other anymore. Moral of the story : these relationships are great for sex but you shouldn't expect more than that