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>missed 5 lectures in a row since uni started
>precalc and chemistry
>one of them was a lab
>too anxious to go back since I'm not caught up and could get lost
>lab groups/cliques have already been established and you'll be the outsider
>already feel fucked even though <10% of my grade is affected
What the fuck do I do /adv/? The longer I stay away the harder it is to come back.
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Just go to class like normal and catch up by asking people around for help if need be.
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I want to play in a band where should I go to find people to start?
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You're paying for the classes dude. No idea why you'd skip so many, especially in a row, but even in that short amount of time that's a lot of content you missed. Talk to your professors about your absence and see what they might be able to do in terms of catching you up with material you don't quite understand. But the more you miss, the more time you're wasting and the bigger the chance you'll have to repeat basically a whole semester.
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I posted about this roughly a week ago and I got some great responses but details in the situation have changed/ been revealed to me.
I am a special needs therapist for kids with autism. I've been doing it for a little over two years and I'm experiencing some pretty rough burnout. About two weeks ago I officially started with a new client, and in short, I feel very out of my element. I have been doing this for a little while but only part time so I don't have as much experience as it seems.
But anyway, i do not believe I am a good fit for this client at all. I wanted to leave but I was worried that doing so would effectively ruin any chances I had at using my collegues and bosses as references in the future when I seek a full time job.
Last time some anons gave me some good responses, but I've brought my concerns to my boss and they told me I wouldn't have to leave the company to leave the client before the 6 months minimum. Basically they said they'd much rather have me leave now if I don't feel good about it than have me, and likely as a result my client, have a shitty experience.
So knowing that the consequences aren't that severe, what should I do? I do genuinely feel id be a better fit somewhere else but I still feel incredibly guilty for even considering this.
Should I leave? And if so, how do I get over the guilt?
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>>18050320
never feel guilty for protecting your career.
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guilt?
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>>18050476
Well its sort of hard to explain why i would feel guilty.
I know that its not really my problem, its the parents problem, but at the same time I was asked to help and I cant help but feel like im letting them down.
>>18050469
I guess its not so much protecting my career and more so that i just dont want people to think im lazy.
This kid is a difficult one for sure but oddly enough ive dealt with more challenging behavior before and I handled it just fine, i just dont think im a good fit. I feel like that is a justifiable reason but I just cant shake that people are going to think im lazy.
Anonymous
How to overcome fear of people? mainly fear of them hurting me? 2017-02-15 01:10:37 Post No.18050298
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How to overcome fear of people? mainly fear of them hurting me?
Anonymous
2017-02-15 01:10:37
Post No. 18050298
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I am deathly afraid of people:
Mocking me in public.
Laughing at me behind my back.
Plotting against me to take things that I have.
Taking away opportunities to succeed from me.
Why do i think this way? because I was bullied pretty hard in high school by almost everyone, starting from school mates and ending with close family members. I was the punching bag for everyone who felt bad "that day".
Now I am approaching my late 20s. I am doing okay with people but I am still very very insecure about myself. I feel like people who pretend to like me just hate me too. They want nothing to do with me and if they could get away with it, they would get rid of me.
I am a general nuisiance and a pain for people to be around. Even though I have been told 100s of times that I am handsome, and lately alot of girls pass me smiles. I feel like they are just doing it to be nice and think of me as a rodent.
College is just some liberal part of my life where people are being nice to me, and once it's over I would start getting split on again.
I have overcome my hunch, my shaved eyebrows have grown back. My infections around my eyelids have disappeared and I eat healthy now, so I no longer look like a product of abuse.
But my brain, my brain is still riddled with fear and paranoia. It doesn't take much to startle and scare me like a little bitch.
What do I do? how do I develop inner strength and not be afraid so much? how can I become immune to another person's frown?
I just want to hide in a corner and never leave. I already do that for the most part of the day, I live in confinement hidden away with fear. Day by day my life passes by =/
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Get a job
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>>18050298
Dude, if a lot of girls are telling you you're handsome, acknowledge it. Maybe they are just trying to be nice, or maybe they're genuinely interested, who knows? I've been there, and I've done that, and got the T-shirt. The best thing I've ever learned in my entire life is this: If you don't give too much of a fuck about the result, the more fun you'll have.
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>>18050298
most people spend so much time thinking about themselves that they dont have time to think about other people. dont be so self-centered to think that popular, successful people waste their time daydreaming about how shitty your life might be. they have better things to do.
being made fun of in high school isn't really about you at all. it's about kids showing other kids that they have a higher status than someone. the person they are making fun of doesn't really matter. dont make yourself an easy target: talk back to people when they disrespect you. get in their face and be aggressive.
here's the trick: it doesnt matter if you lose fights or get hurt. this is victim mentality:
>bully is coming up to me
>he wants my lunch money
>he's going to hurt me if i dont give it to him
>i dont want to get hurt
>i will give him my lunch money so he goes away
in this instance, you are freely giving something up to avoid pain. the bully loses nothing here. here's what's going through the bully's head:
>haha look at that dork
>i'm going to take his lunch money, or punch him in the face if he doesnt
>dork looks so fkin scared lmao
>i grab the money from his hand
now imagine you react like this:
>bully is coming up to me
>he wants my lunch money
>he's going to hurt me if i dont give it to him
>i dont want to lose my lunch money
>i tell him no, try to fight back, cause as much pain as possible
>its OK if i lose and he takes my money, i fought back as hard as i could
after a while, the bully thinks like this
>look at that dork
>i want his lunch money but he always fucking scratches and bites me
>is it even worth it, he only has $5 he's so poor
>ah whatever, ill bully some other kid
dont allow yourself to be stepped on or mocked. fight back. it doesnt matter if you lose, it just matters that the people around you know that you WILL FIGHT BACK
and god help them when you win
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This was yesterday, and haven't heard anything since. I fear it's a ghosting. I know I'm probably being paranoid and all that since it's only been a day, but I feel I'm in a rut and can't get anywhere these days. Should I be worried?
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>>18050231
You left the conversation up to her. You should have just followed up with a dad joke so she could have realized how much of an autist you are and then bail on you decisively so you aren't left to wonder.
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>>18050231
Don't worry she'll contact you in two more years. By 3000 AD you should finally be having coffee
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>>18050231
wait hold on it took her two years to say something to you? I've heard of having reserves of guys but holy shit thats crazy
My life up until this point has been one ruled by fear, isolation, and depression. Only recently have I begun to finally overcome these issues, including my depression. I now see the value in life, I now know how to truly appreciate every waking breath I take in the peace and comfort of my home, but I still am afraid.
I managed to get my GED with honors, and I figured out what I want to do with my life:
Programming.
I absolutely love programming, I've been doing it as a hobby for 7 years(I am 18 and a half), and I want to go to college to get a degree in Computer Science and do it for the rest of my life.
But I'm so afraid.
I'm really afraid of failing the TSI exam(Texas College's have this accuplacer esque test you take that determines if you need further education in an area before going to full on college), and if I pass that, I'm afraid of being a shitter at the math they have in the class.
I have always struggled with math, but I managed to power through it in the GED. In 3 months, I went from a stupid dumb lazy faggot who couldn't even do long division or multiply anything higher than 11, to an aspiring faggot who could go algebraic equations and quadratics.
I've kind of forgotten a bit of algebra, but so far it's stuck. I really have issues with Geometry.
I know it's not big deal if I don't get a high score on the math portion of the TSI exam because I"ll just be put through math classes, but fuck, I don't want that. I want to go to Comp Sci classes as soon as I can and start getting an actual degree for this and go into the real world with it.
>TLDR:
Has anyone here taken the TSI exam and the GED test? Are they similar? How bad is the math in Comp Sci?
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>>18050228
bump
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>>18050228
you can do it. i believe in you.
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>programming for 7 years
should just make a portfolio and find a job desu
im sure you'd be fine in school. just brush up your math on khan academy
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Getting my computer fixed after a hard drive crash. I'm afraid that, if I let them keep my old broken hard drive to destroy, they'll get into it and find out all the messed up porn I've seen.
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Nice blog post.
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Unless it's CP, no one gives a shit.
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>>18050129
It's their job, they won't care about what you do in your down time. Even so, they've probably already seen all kinds of fucked up things, so unless you've got illegal shit on it, they won't give two fucks.
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My boyfriend of three years is sick today and doesn't want to hang out. How do I stop feeling sorry for myself?
Thank
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>>18050115
Simply stop being an entitled twat. Easy.
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>>18050115
Call up a single girl friend who'd spend the day alone feeling sorry for herself and do something with her. Shared self-pity is more fun than wallowing alone.
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>>18050115
Go fuck one of his friends
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Pretty much the only thing stopping me from living a fulfilling life atm is my insecurity.
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>>18050049
Get a job in security.
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>>18050049
Well, why are you insecure?
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>>18050049
It better not be about your dick or boobs op......
Anonymous
What are my two bosses trying to do? mind games 2017-02-14 11:09:27 Post No.18050023
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What are my two bosses trying to do? mind games 2017-02-14 11:09:27 Post No.18050023
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What are my two bosses trying to do? mind games
Anonymous
2017-02-14 11:09:27
Post No. 18050023
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Okay I am pretty dumb at these mind games. But I am pretty sure at this point I am being fucked with.
I work under three women right now. There is one leader who is the supervisor of the other two. The leader is very cool, strong woman who also happens to be same ethnicity as me (I am not white).
The other two women work under him. They are P and J. P is a strong built blonde woman is pretty ugly. When I look at her she gives me this weird intimidating stare so I always look away. I have a habbit of looking into people's eyes when I speak, but her crazy stare really makes me cringe.
She asks me stupid questions. Why is the backroom door open? My response "other worker used it". Then she will act like I am lying. She would find the little bit of fault, ask about it and then pretend she's angry. She also never lets me speak. She always asks me something but then answers it herself, really quick. Another reason why I hate talking to her. She comes in at 5 o clock everyday.
Anyways she told me to check my cards, make sure there are no errors. Now she started signing my cards with a pencil (She is not suppose to). Then she would not sign altogether.
J works in the day. She is weird, old cranky too but much easier to deal with. Anyways she told me that P was forgetting to sign my cards, and to take my card to her and stand right next to her, have her sign it.
When I tried doing that, P complained and said she's "Got it". P likes to talk shit about everyone, including J. When I don't talk shit about J to her, she complains i don't agree with her. Then she clenches her jaw, gets in my face and asks me questions again. I will be honest, sometimes I get scared and walk away or stutter. I don't know but the whole thing feels like torture just by being right next to her for 1 second. So I stopped having P sign my card, instead I have people downstairs sign it.
Then P started complaining about me avoiding her.
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Today J (who works in the morning) instructed me to have P sign my cards. I tried to explain to her how P is acting, but she dismissed me, in a way making me feel like I am the asshole behind everything. On top of it she said just because P forgets something once does not mean she is doing it on purpose.
Thing is that just last week J told me P does this to my cards repeatedly, and she does the same thing to another person's cards. SO what the fuck is going on? maybe J is senile and P is a psycho? I don't know but the whole fucking thing is annoying. I even hate being around these two bitches at this point. My work is suppose to be really easy and relaxing but somehow feels like my mind is being fucked with.
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I want to keep this job. Because their boss is cool with me. I will not do what J said and instead keep avoiding P and have someone else do my timesheet cards. And I will play dumb around J. But what the fuck are they doing? any clue?
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>>18050023
Tell the big boss.
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I was just on tinder and I decided to change my discovery settings to men. Not to be gay or anything, I just wanted to see what my competition was like.
I have to say 80% of guys profiles are very feminine.
How do I make a masculine profile without looking like a douche?
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>>18050005
Just be yourself.
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use a pic where you are doing something, not a posed one. pic should look like you. and don't be picky. go out with all kinds of people, say you wanna take it slow, so you don't need to do anything, eventually you'll meet her friends, all gals know a stunner, and this is when you get friendly with the friend.
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>How do I make a masculine profile without looking like a douche?
Forget everything the feminist world taught you, and start learning the things they never wanted you to know. You'll look like a douche if you're halfway between masculine and feminine, so don't quit halfway.
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>just failed a important exam at uni despite my best efforts
>feel absolutely worthless, can't really talk to people because they have their own shit going on, don't trust my male friends with emotional stuff
>slipping back into depression, start feeling empty and broken again but i don't want to go back to drinking
>can't even cry in peace because my flat has paper walls and my flatmate is constantly around
i feel like i am at the end of my rope right now, i keep having strong suicidal thoughts and panic attacks when i try to go outside. any advice on how to make it trough this?
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if you cannot trust friends with emotional stuff are they really your friends?
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>>18049900
i grew up in a very rural village, showing any sort of emotion that isn't rage in front of other guys was a great way to get your ass beat, that kind of stuck with me i suppose. they are otherwise reliable people, i just have a mental block when it comes to talking about feelings with them
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>>18049841
I kinda did the same thing, though it was more of a shitstorm that swept me away.
>decide to go back to school part time at 25
>just go to local CC because I have to work still
>take math and chemistry
>do exceptionally well in both
>start tutoring for math next semester
>bang out summer class for BS course
>take next level of Chem
>same Chem prof as last semester
>still do really well
>encouraging me into Chem major
>went from fully booked class to 3 of taking the final
>still have 4.0 GPA because of weighted credits
>next semester is trouble
>not enough people sign up for next level of Chem
>have to take required bullshit course
>class is mind numbingly pointless
>cant find the will to care
>bleeds into math studies
>do particularly shitty
>spiral into depression
>sleepless nights
>stressed out days
>put a hole into the wall at work with the crane twice within a week
>stop going to school
>drop from a 4.0 to a 2.9
>never climbed out
>this was last year
I don't know what I can say to help, really.
Anonymous
Not wanting so have sex so soon. 2017-02-14 09:52:53 Post No.18049818
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Not wanting so have sex so soon. 2017-02-14 09:52:53 Post No.18049818
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Not wanting so have sex so soon.
Anonymous
2017-02-14 09:52:53
Post No. 18049818
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Is something wrong with me? I am a male and a lot of friends say shit like "if you aren't kissing her in date number one, then you goofed. " or "if you aren't plowing by number two, then you gaaaay!"
I am 25. I prefer to date slowly. How do people move so quickly? I have never had a girlfriend but honestly, sex is like not even on my top 10 things to do if I did have a girlfriend.
What the fuck is wrong with me? Am I retarded for not trying to sleep around?
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>>18049818
Stop hanging out with niggers
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you're just inexperienced
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>How do people move so quickly?
It's a race, fool. Men compete over women with fertility and women compete over men with status. Both sides want something finite, not everyone can have it.
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My last relationship is fucking haunting me in the last months.
There was this girl I was dating.
It was a damn happy relationship, or at least was until one month before we broke up (we dated for 5 ou 6 months), when she suddenly decided to be an asshole with me, cheated on me with her ex (the one who came just before me) and we started to get into a lot of fights (something I NEVER been into in the other relationships I had) and then we broke up.
At least she went ahead breaking up with me first because she said couldn't stay with me anymore not loving me and was feeling guilty staying with me with this "true love for her ex". (also, she came back with her ex not even a week after we broke up)
This was a shitty scenario, but at least she was honest, we've got to move on with life, right? I tried keep the friendship at least (I'm on really good terms with my other exes) but she's becoming more and more of a complete asshole and is gossiping to some of her friends that I was abusive (something I never even thought of being) and keeps badmouthing me in secret (mutual friend we have told me).
I'm trying to ignore it, but since then just thinking about her and remembering all that happened makes me sick and I feel really bad. I have a fucking crippling clinical depression for 6 years and when I was starting to get better, it just became worse and worse since two months after we broke up and I think I never felt THIS bad before.
I'm trying to get along with new people and forget the past but this always comes in my mind, like a trauma or a PTSD and makes me upset.
The only thing that barely makes me feel any good nowadays are my hobbies, but at least once a day, the memories of being cheated, dating someone who was mean to me while I gave my best to make her happy come back to haunt me and it is driving me crazy. What should I do, /adv/?
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I know what it's like to have something just consume your mind and make you really unhappy. Talk to someone you trust about it, maybe take up new hobbies.
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OP here and I forgot to mention: we broke up seven months ago. (It may looks like it was years ago because I mentioned the depression, so I just wanted to make it clear)
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Bro, I lost years of my life trying to overcome the memory of an ex I only spent a few months with, but she was my ..well, not my first love, the first one felt like puppy love compared to that experience. She was the most compatible person I had ever been with on so many levels..and I felt truly happy, psyched about life, what our future would be like. But it was long distance and it crippled us both, she did me a lot of emotional damage, and me, I used her email pw a few times to find out if she was cheating or talking to other guys.. she had a ton of guy friends though, and she was young, so her mind wasn't in it like me, but i hadn't felt intense love like that ..probably ever. All I can say today, 8 years after the fact, and 6 years after a friend of mine gave me head twice (i was desperate to move on and not proud of what i did) i had a mental breakdown both times it happened. failed miserably. 5 years after she left me my mind was fucking fried,,i was literally screaming at walls, i couldn't take it anymore, the betrayal, my instability, her memory, her moving on. I ended up on celexa. Took it maybe 4-5 times, it helped me, and maybe it can help you.
8 years since though, and I don't do ONS or FWB, I've had temptation, and even came close since, but in retrospect, I'm glad it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Recently though, I, sadly, developed feelings for a girl from out of state, and it kinda screwed up my past few days.. so life is unfair bro..all I can say, and then, then we're unfair to ourselves.
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My girlfriend and I (both in our late twenties) have been together for over 4 years. Recently our sex-life has been dwindling.
She has no interest in vaginal sex, but still has drive for other sexual acts together (oral, masturbation, etc). As much as I appreciate her efforts in other areas, the lack of actual sex is getting to me.
I've done pretty much everything she could potentially ask for to re-ignite things - lost 10lbs, more romantic gestures, spending plenty of time together - but to no avail.
I feel the lack of intimacy is making me feel detached from her, and I fear our mismatch in sexual appetite & ideals about intimacy may lead me astray. I acknowledge that I am more of a physically-oriented when it comes to bonding and intimacy than she is, but even after trying to talk it out with her, we're at an impasse.
What can I do?
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Talk to her again and figure out a compromise.
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Have a few glasses of wine for her to get in the mood
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>>18049731
"i want vaginal sex to be part of my sex life. if you cant help me with that, ill have to find other ways of satisfying myself"
then sign up for tinder
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Advice / Support
Welcome to Advice / Support we are a friendly discord server trying to help and improve people, if you are interested in getting help or just want to talk to people about specific topics, you should join our discord server.
https://discord.gg/fCCQaXu
Info: Preventing your suicide is not our responsibility. If you need someone to talk you out of hurting yourself and/or others, please call a suicide hotline.
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bumping it
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If i call someone about a job, introduce myself, tell him im available, ask him where his business is.. He does not respond and instead tells me to call him at an earlier time(called at 6pm), is he really interested? Is this a way to tell me to fuck off?
>>
i don't think he is trying to tell you that, maybe he barely has time for anything.
but could also be that
>>18049797