Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2482. page

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Are there any FREE hobbies where you meet new people but don"t need to be a talkative turbo-normie to succeed?

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Is this word or creepy to do. I found my old therapist on LinkedIn and now I feel tempted to talk to her. I'm not trying to start a relationship or something with her, I just want to catch up. Should I do it?

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I'm sick and tired of my low self-esteem.

Basically, I hate how I look / carry myself. My posture is basically fucked because I am on my laptop all day. My mom was an extremely conservative Christian and I never went through the girly phase. I never learned how to wear makeup and I grew up stubbornly refusing to put sunscreen etc because I hated the sticky feeling and now I have these fucking ugly freckles on my pig face. I can't even look people in the eyes because I know making eye contacts would mean that people would look at my face even more and notice my crooked nose / milia / pimples. I'd avoid going out when it's sunny because my blemishes would be more noticeable.

I tried learning the basic skincare stuff but reading all those beauty blogs / vlogs just put me off. I'd just get distracted thinking "this is bs she's getting paid to say that" "that's never gonna work for me I have oily skin" "yeah right that'd look good on her but not on me" "that's surely not scientific" Like why would I even spend a fortune on these overpriced products?

But on some days I'd just be like fuck this I want to get rid of my virginity and fuck like Marla Singer because I'm so sick of this self-esteem bullcrap.

I watch a lot of youtubers and it kills me that none of them appears to be self-conscious about their triple chin, or their beer bellies at the age of 26. And they're fucking hilarious. Friends would tell me that I seem to have two different personas; I"m more of a suave / chill gal online (after years of practice + messing up on forums) but irl I'm still just like a fucking awkward teenager who is somehow still stuck on her self-esteem issues.

How do I grow the fuck up?

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I'm scared. I don't want alot of college debt. I'm going for a doctorate and I have a 4.0 GPA and have been offered scholarships but idk if it'll be enough, I'm still looking at 30k a year. Im hoping if I bust my ass I can get it down to 15 k after my first year and there's several grants I haven't applied for yet that I could get but I'm worried. What did /adv/ do to avoid debt?
>Inb4 didn't go to college

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Alright, my roommate gave me a deadline to leave March 15th. I was getting shit together when suddenly, she decided to just change that to next week.

Keep in mind, I went far the fuck away from her and kept my distance while paying her my fully. Why is she doing this and what can I do?

I've done absolutely nothing to piss her off, yet she always has a tendency to pull off shit like this. For no reason, she just takes everything out on me and treats me like garbage until this point, which she's doing this. I've secretly been looking all over the place for a new living arrangement but the new place won't be ready for another 2-3 weeks. I have nowhere else to go, as my family just doesn't care or hates my guts, and my 'friends' and coworkers are just fair-weathered.

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Hey guys,

Anytime I receive an email, a phone call, or a text I feel a sinking in my stomach sort of as if I'm going to throw up. It doesn't matter if it's good news, bad news, anything. The moment I see a notification I feel an intense feeling of fear and dread.

Just now, I received a phone call from an unknown number and it kicked me into overdrive and I'm just sitting here like I'm about to barf.

Any tips on how to alleviate this level of autism? I hate being like this, it's completely irrational. I could even post something on craigslist knowing I'll be contacted and still get this feeling of anxiety the moment I get a message.

How do I get over this? I've tried reassuring myself that it's merely a text, or a call, but nothing seems to work. I hate this.

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Is there anything I can do when the guy above me is being an asshole and is loud as fuck all night long? He's not listening to music or anything, he's just stomping on the ground. He's walking through his shitty apartment for minutes. I don't even know why. It's the same size as mine but he keeps walking for minutes and is just really loud. I already told him about it but he just said that I can't actually hear it. He's being an aggressive faggot.
What can I do about it? My landlord said that I shouldn't bother her about it. I don't think the police can do shit either.

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My computer isn't top quality, and the built in Windows 10 game recording software won't work. What is a nice game recorder that won't give me laggy choppy video? I've tried OBS and it's ok but I was wondering if there was anything better. ty

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Hi. A female friend and I started hanging out a lot and got really close, but I had doubts about her because she liked to party a lot and often came home stumbling drunk or trying to talk to me and doing all the classical alcoholic bs. I mentioned it to her a couple times, hoping that she would understand why we weren't going to the next stage. Finally she told me she started seeing some other guy this week and I felt hurt by that. We talked last night and she told me that I never brought it up to her(The drinking and lesser extant smoking), I told her I did, but that she always brushed it off. And while we talked...she had 3 pints of beer...then some other guys came and they all left to go to the bar and drink where that guy she met works. I guess what hurts is that she chose alcohol over me and fucking random guys instead of a guy that wanted better for her. I'm already going to go no contact with her, but would asking her to stop drinking have mattered?

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Hey guys, I am a lonely kissless virgin and I am ready to go change that. I have been working out a lot, mostly distancing running, but also calisthenics, to the point where I now have a full 6 pack with obliques visible, and decent pecs and triceps, and my ass fills out all pants. My biceps are strong from pullups but skinny, and as a whole you can't tell I have muscle when I have a shirt on. I still have a bmi of 21 though, and I'm a little over 6 ft, so I am not a complete skelly. Basically, I am not horridly ugly. There is a girl who is one of my classes that I have been a general acquaintance with for a while. She is pretty vapid, but has never had a boyfriend, and has the best ass I have ever seen, I mean better than literally any porn I've seen too. She also knows how strong I am, its a long story, but she was surprised at how in shape I was and told me. She also thinks I am a bit weird, but she doesn't shy away from me. Basically, I want to make this chick my gf for a little, or at least engage in intercourse with her. How do I go about this? How do I get her interested enough in me so that we start hanging out? We have a lot of mutual friends, so if I make things awkward I would still have to see her basically everyday and live that shit down. Any tips?

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Why after a girl dumps you, she can't be honest, straight up. And always speak in vail terms. For example. If you ask why did you do this or why are you doing this. She would say " it's not him lol "" it's you ". The passive aggressiveness gets me everytime. And you ask her to be more specific about what about me? For example

- did I do something?
- Was I harsh or something?

Then I would get no answer, no a single answer. If I did do something wrong which I highly doubt because this happened out of the blue. Then why not tell me so I can aleast self reflect on it. of course all this is highly unlikely as she was hanging out with her long time friend who is a guy and it intensified into the last week's of the relationship. So my final question is, why is she dishonest /not spacific /straight forward?

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I posted this on /r9k/ first, and someone told me to post this here, and I'm doing that because, even though my choices are mine, I want someone to help me make those choices, however weak and insecure that might be.

I hate myself.
But I have people that care about me. I know that I'm fortunate in this aspect; there are so many people that want what I have.
But I let it all go to waste. Because I hate myself, and I don't know why.

I want to know, because I don't know:
Is it okay to tell someone that you think cares about you, that you hate yourself? Even if you know, that they don't know how to fix that?
This is a cry for help. I don't know what to do.
And I need to tell the people that care about me something. Because it doesn't feel right to leave them where they are.
I want them to be happy, but I don't care about being happy. Someone, please, if you understand: Please help me.

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hello /adv/ let me start out by telling you that im a 29 year old female and I had a rather poor introduction to sex/intimacy. When I was a teenager I was manipulated by someone who from my adult prospective, was in all likelyhood a psychopath of some sort. he was very abusive to me while we dated, both physically aned emotionally. he was also, my first and only love. This isn't a typical sexual abuse story though, on the contrary, he would tell me he loved me, but we would never have sex. We would sleep in the same bed, but would never fuck.Keep in mind, im objectivity attractive, by society's standards, so it was even more weird. Anyway, it gave me a complex about sex where I thought virginity was the worst thing in the world, and I absolutely HAD to get rid of it. Anyway, this boyfriend ended up dating this other girl WHILE we were dating who was also attractive, but in a really different way. He broke my heart, big time. He made me feel the worst I have ever felt in my life. After the breakup, I ended up having sex for the first time, on the floor of a hotel bathroomwith an older man who I met online. That was it. That was how I lost my virginity.

Meanwhile,my now ex boyfriend still continues to flirt heavily with me, and I'm still in love with him, so I flirt back. It actually culminated in me having sex with him AT his house while his girlfriend was at work.About a year later, he stopped talking to either of us.

In retrospect, I'm really not happy with how I behaved. I felt incredibly manipulated the entire time. It was the worst oneietis I've ever had, but it was also abusive as fuck.

Since then, I've been completely turned off from sex or intimacy with anyone. It's scary because I'm almost 30 and I worry I will end up alone, I just can't bring myself to feel anything but endless depression and hopelessness about the situation.

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I've had three long relationships (2+ years) Myself I've been in therapy for several years and doing really well now, and I never had anything too bad either.
I tried dating people who are happy, well adjusted men, but I'm just not attracted to them. If someone isn't harboring some wound due to / compensated for by being highly intelligent, I feel like I can't connect. On the other hand relationships with people like that end up in a clusterfuck most of the time, and I'd like to have a steady, happy thing where we could have a house, dog and kids.

How do I program myself to find normies attractive?

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Is there something mentally wrong with me if I lack the ability to love someone in the romantic sense?

Or even to make friendships for that matter, I may never give a fuck about anyone besides my family.