Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2475. page

>>18062950

Break up with her. You're being a selfish cunt.

You can help it, you're just an asshole.

Do the right thing and let this girl move on with her life.

>>18062957
The correct answer

>>18062957
I wish it was that easy, we love each other and our relationship is strong. When I have sex with other people it's pleasurable but at the moment. With her it's more than sex. Is it because I fear commitment or am I just a fucked up sex addict. It's hard to explain but I can understand what you mean

That's fair.

I'm just a bit sour about my first job experience.

Racist comments, discrimination, poor ethics, dealing with shit people, flaky coworkers...
Ended up getting fired because I was 3 minutes late.

Doesn't help that I don't even have my highschool diploma. Makes you feel like trash, and in the eyes of a lot of people, you are.

>>18062904

The quality of coworkers is very important for job satisfaction to a lot of people. The good news is you can find nice coworkers in low paying jobs just as you can find shitty ones in high paid offices. Just gotta try again I guess, you're probably better off not working in that place.

Hey mate, I have a job.

No, it doesn't feel like I'm contributing. Yes, what I am doing is a highly skilled job that I educated myself my whole life for but that doesn't change anything. Is the fact I'm paying taxes or fixing issues absolute retards have supposed to make me feel good? Because it doesn't. I want to be home, in my nice sunny country, enjoying the sun, fucking jailbait (legal) and talking to me friends. I can't do what makes me happy though, I'm too busy "contributing" to a country that doesn't even want me here.

Now for your second point, why yes, yes, the money is quite good, until you realize you have to keep working to have it. Sure they might have seemed an enormous amount in the beginning but boy did I start spending and making direct debits and subscriptions for this and that and I can't really back down on that can I? So yes, the money is good, damn shame I don't get to keep it, damner shame I have to keep going to work for it.

You're right though, it would help not being less worried about my future but right now I'm worried about my present. I'm stressed, unhappy, working a job that will advance me in my career but not as a person, lonely, alone, tired and grumpy with rapidly diminishing social skills and atrophying human connections.

But hey, at least I have a FUCKING JOB, right?

I'm the same way, I think most guys are. Depends on the girl that you're doing it to as to whether or not she'll think it's creepy. Some chicks can't get enough of it, some will start to pull that "you only want me for my body" thing. This one girl who I fucked around with went out of her way to find ways that I could touch her tits in public because she loved it. Basically just do whatever the fuck you want unless she doesn't seem in to it. Don't worry about it too much if she seems cool with it.

I'm not THAT much into them. I love them and stuff, but up to that degree? no.
You are doing fine by trying not to act that fetishized.

Homie just tell her that you really like her tits and that you'd like to play with them more. What's the worst she'll say? No? Not like she's gonna be disgusted by your fascination with her boobs dude.

Get out there and talk to people. The only person that this habit is going to hurt is you

>>18064459
>I'm 20. Been playing vidya since I was 5 therefore it has definitely grown into me. It especially helped me during my teen years to distance myself from all the negativity in school etc.
Same here OP. But I did a 180 at 21 and now I can handle people and women well. Do as >>18064464 said, just go out there and meet people.

>I always look down on everyone
That is a bad frame of mind, and you know it. You need to open up to people more. You're just thinking this way because you're afraid of getting hurt.

>>18064459

Start a geeky hobby. They will hit similar spots to videogames but with added human interaction.

Board games can hit the problem-solving and point-earning part of video games. Roleplaying and anime can help if you play for the story/characters. Go to cons and shit and make some friends.

how old are you guys?

>>18064463
I'm 23 and she's 25.

We live with my parents.

>>18064455

Uhhh....Wow....So I hate to say it OP, but your wife sounds insanely unstable. I hate to say it, but stuff like this only gets worse and if you can't really take it now, what makes you think you'll be able to take it in the future? People never really change, so don't expect your wife to change either.

Does your wife have any redeeming qualities or did you just marry her because you felt obligated too?

Having standards is fine, but you need to be realistic about them. Could you get a skinny girlfriend? Sure. Is your likelihood of getting a skinny girlfriend when you're fat lower than if you were skinny? Definitely

>>18064431

>Is there a way to lower my wants for a relationship?

Yeah, get something good going on in your life. Start a club, start a class, hang out more with friends, learn a new skill, pick up a sport, etc. Something that you enjoy doing.

Right now, you are working on yourself, but with the express purpouse of getting pussy (don't lie to us about that). You are focusing on the physical side and looks of the couples around you, which is both shallow and counter-productive if you want to lower your desire. So change your habits.

>>18064435
I understand that 100% but im just thinking if I was being way to judgmental on it. Like I think its cute if a girls a little chubby or something but like most if not all the girls i see around here that say anything to me are like 200+ and thats just disgusting.

can you study with friends or classmates at all?
don't do it in your house, go to a library or something
tell yourself if you study x amount of material you'll treat yourself somehow

>>18064195
>>18064195
Thought of doing that, thanks.

I realised that when I'm at school and study outside next to the classrooms it goes better for me. Less distraction I guess.

Thanks brother

test

>>18064106
>texas
Drive down to mexico (wear a condom, tho)

>>18064106
>2016 i got arrested for solicitating with a prostitute in texas
kek idk what to say man
how did that happen, like what were you doing exactly?

>>18064111
Was dumb, went to backpage looking for the cheapest bitch there, chatted over the phone and text. Went there and sat on the bed in motel 6 and pulled out money. Cops busted the door in the next room.

Before u say the part where i pulled out money was why, ill just tell u that was wrong, it was basically the MOMENT i stepped into the room i was fucked, the next guy who came in after me got arrested for asking for a massage from the undercover.

Anyways can u get arrested for just talking to one on text?

>>18063836
bump

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Nobody wants to hear about your "complicated views of the world" or your "quirky" personality. You don't have to dump your baggage on every person you meet, which is what is sounds like you're doing. If you have to conform to social norms to not come off as an asshole, that's not "faking it" that's being polite. It's okay to be different, but at the end of the day you have to live and engage with people who aren't quite so different. Treating them with respect and dignity is more important than indulging in your various eccentricities.

>I'm so different
>I'm so unique
>I'm so complicated and deep!

That's fine, but don't go around trying to make sure everyone knows how much more complicated you think you are. If they were really interested, they would have ask. Trying to justify all the weird shit you do by just saying "I'm not like your normies!" is one of the rudest and most narcissistic things you can do when around other people.

My advice is to treat other people better; you can still be true to yourself without getting under everyone's skin.

>people kept mocking me for being eccentric and this led to anger and me lashing out at everyone
You'll have to explain this further.

>I was being eccentric
In what way?

>People kept mocking me
In what way?

>>18063871
>You don't have to dump your baggage on every person you meet, which is what is sounds like you're doing
I may do that on some people so you have a point there, but not on most.
>Trying to justify all the weird shit you do by just saying "I'm not like your normies!" is one of the rudest and most narcissistic things you can do when around other people.
I don't ever say that and I agree that would be rude. I actually fake being polite to everyone I meet, even if I strongly disagree with what they say or their world view.
>You'll have to explain this further.
When I start making jokes and expressing my thoughts, often people think "he thinks he's so cool" (from what I've heard others say) or they seem to just want me to shut up. Perhaps I'm annoying, though I've never been called that. It's just something offputting about me when I'm engaging and having a good time. Most of it comes down to the context of the situation, but for example I mentioned a band I liked and immediately a group of people I was with hated my guts. Each situation is different, but it eventually led to deep resentment and me just always keeping my mouth shut.

You're not gonna forget her. Eventually she'll take a back seat. You just need to keep going and remember you were alive before her and you are now. Surely you had good times and those are worth remembering but right now you need to focus on just you.

>>18063552

What you miss most is how they loved you. But what you didn't know was how they loved you had so much to do with the person you are. It was a reflection of everything you gave to them, coming back to you. You sit there soaking in the idea that no one else would love you that way, when it was you that taught them to love. When it was you that showed them how to feel. Don't be cruel to yourself and give them credit for you warmth simply because you had felt it. Thinking it was them who gave you strength. wit. beauty. simply because they recognised it. As if you were already not these things before they met you. As if you did not remain all these things after they left.

5 years. By the fifth years I had to take celexa because my brain couldn't take it anymore. It helped. I think I may have gone insane if I didn't take the meds. Screaming at walls, couldn't deal with night time approaching, darkness intensified the memories, frustration, anger, bitterness, sadness, etc. I was doing so much thinking those years, I began to lose my hair at a pretty fast rate of speed, health deteriorated very quickly.

If you feel similar, act before it's too late.

Is this some kind of joke question?

>>18063538
you majored in math and minored in math?

did you get your PHD in retarded?

>>18063544

Why did I trigger you guys just from asking a fucking question?

Just answer autists

>>18063349

>Had a good chat and she told me to send her a link of this article that i found that she would find interesting.

That's what friends do. Heck, I'd even do that for an acquaintance that's not really that friendly with me. That's not "show me the signals that she wants to start talking again".

>Im a nice guy
>Haven't been a bad dude in anyway.

Being a good person doesn't mean you deserve pussy. Don't believe the edgelords that say being nice means girls use you. That's not true. Being dumb males girls use you.

But being nice is not a ticket to sex. You can be nice all you want, but if she doesn't want to fuck/date you, sorry, she won't. You have to understand that and move on.

>>18063349
You guys were friends, that's it.
Its this board literally full of teenage shut-ins?!

>>18063360
We weren't just friends before?
Im 22, Not a teenager, I dated a chick from since i was 16 till 20... So i have a shit concept on women, I simply just dont really understand thats all.

>>18063337

That's not love. Those are "crushes". You can call it "infatuation", too.

How do you stop it? Simple, make sure you have friends and that some of them are girls. Learn to have female attention, even if they don't want to date you. When you know how it feels to be liked back, you won't get crushes on girls that aren't really into you.

>>18063340
Pretty legit advice I say.

Also try raping some of your friends, this will release some tension and you won't act awkward because of sexual tension with your crush. Make sure you wear a mask and don't speak or grunt in a recognizable way.

>>18063340
I have female friends and I have no problem with them. My "clown" personality is what makes them hanging out with me and I keep hanging out with them because I like to make people laugh. I can tell that on dates my clown personality makes women turned off, but I don't know how to have an ongoing serious conversation. I'm a shy guy and can't make a physical contact with a woman on a date because I see myself as a disgusting person. I realized that now and I hope I will have guts next time. Lack of physical contact was most likely the cause why women don't give me another chance. Am I right?

>>18062827
>and I suffered anesthesia awareness
sheeeeit so you felt the pain of the operation and everything? No wonder you got fucked up. Have you tried intense physical exercise? Like running nonstop for two hours as hard as you can until you're so physically exhausted you can't remain awake?

>>18062832
>you felt the pain of the operation and everything?
Yes.

>running nonstop for two hours as hard as you can until you're so physically exhausted
I honestly don't have the energy for it. A lot of my downtime is just sitting around in a fugue.

>I can't imagine /adv/ will have any insight here for me that I haven't considered, but it can't hurt to try, right?
I'm sorry that I can't be of much help because I haven't had an experience like this, but holy fucking shit anon I'm sorry that happened to you and that you've had to live with the effects of it all these years.

I really don't know what I can do to help you other than to let you know that a faceless anon has sympathy for you and wants for you to be able to live a happy and peaceful life.

>>18062307
>Wouldn't it just be easier to find a gun?
A lot of things would "just be easier", of course. But you'd be losing your opportunity to learn and grow.

Have faith. Love yourself. It's never as bad as it seems.

Why are you damaged goods, OP?

no lol
it's obviously easier to live than off yourself. you've lived this whole time
plus you don't actually know you'll be unhappy. you're going to live for a long ass time so the odds are in your favour