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>Be a virgin
>Have a small p (5.1 x 4.7")
>Say fuck it to insecurity and have sex with a girl
>It's my first time so it takes a minute to get the rhythm right
>She's moaning and wet so I figure it's adequate
>She initiates a position switch and gets on top of me
>I keep slipping out because she's pulling up way too far
>She says fuck it gets off me and goes
>Next day tells me she regrets it because she has a lot of shit on her mind
>Know that I failed to satisfy her and my awkward fumbling turned her off
>Confidence is absolutely shattered
She hasn't mentioned if the sex was good or bad but I know it was bad because she doesn't seem interested in having another go. How do I move forward? I already want to die after this experience and I really liked her before we had sex so there's the whole unrequited love thing too. She doesn't seem too interested in having a relationship with me either. I mentioned the possibility of dating properly in the future when she gets her shit together and she kind of winced. I got the message.
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>>18066930
Oh I should clarify. She didn't literally say "fuck it" but she made up a flimsy excuse and said good night.
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>>18066930
If the sex was bad it sounds like her fault. If she's riding you it becomes her job to get the rhythm and movement right.
Don't fall into the confidence-destroying trap of "it's the guy's job to make the sex good".
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>>18066930
loool from now on ur here to spread bitterness about women
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I took my LTR bf out for dinner yesterday for his bday.
He arrived at my house a few hours before so we could hang out. We had some really good sex before we started to get ready.
I was getting all hyped up about the restaurant because it was really expensive, completely farm-to-table, excellent quality, etc. I bought a very nice dress to wear because it was that kind of restaurant. I was talking to bf about the food and how he will like it, and he barely responded to me.
He was just on his phone looking at videos. So I was thinking, whatever, he's just resting.
Fast forward to when we leave, bf is still barely talking to me (way different than usual btw). Ask him if something is wrong. Using a defensive tone, he says he's fine.
Entire car ride is silent. We get there early so we walk around and look at some shops. Smoke a cigarette together. Complete silence. We get to the restaurant. Bf just pulls out his phone as the waiter explains the specials. just "yeas and okays". We eat in complete silence. I attempt to start conversation, bf just completely one-words me. So I don't even bother anymore.
After dinner, I jokingly say, "Thanks *my name* for taking me out to dinner." in a sing song voice. We always do that after we take each other out, just silly sarcasm.
cont.
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>>18066745
cont.
Bf doesn't say thank you. I was still jokey saying, "Hey this was a 150 dollar meal, you better thank me!" Then bf turned and lashed at me, "Now think about all the times I have taken you out, add all that up." in probably the meanest tone I've heard from him in a while.
We get home, silence. He tries to make me give him affection by nudging me. I just turn around and lay in bed. He looks on videos on his phone for a while, then leaves.
I make less money than him. I got a bonus check this month and was so happy to get to spend it on his bday. I made the reservations weeks ago. I bought the stupid dress to wear. I also bought him 200 dollars worth of gifts that I am giving him on his actual birthday date.
And completely out of character for him, he acts like a complete asshole the entire day. Tears started welling up in my eyes as he left. He asked me what was wrong and I said nothing. I know saying nothing when something is bothering you is stupid and I never do that. But how could he not notice he was a complete shithead the entire day??
What do I do about this, /adv/?
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>>18066747
>What do I do about this
Don't let him watch those videos, they tell him evil things about you.
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>>18066745
OP this is going to sound cringey as fuck but virtual hugs
I am sorry you are feeling the way you are feeling right now, you feel the shittiest when the people who matter the most dont seem to gaf
You need to talk to him, be straight up.
Maybe something happened. Maybe something you are unaware of is wrong.
Basically you need to say
>BF what was wrong yesterday? You didnt seem right.
Dont go into it thinking about what *he* did, dont go start the conversation off with his actions. You want to find the reason behind why he was an asshole. Then if theres something legitimately causing this you can work it out.
I really wish you good luck OP, I hope everything turns out to be fine in the end. If it isnt then we're all here for you and we all care.
Anonymous
Political differences 2017-02-20 03:31:08 Post No.18066654
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Political differences 2017-02-20 03:31:08 Post No.18066654
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Hi /adv/ first time posting here. American male.
My friends are mostly left-leaning and very liberal.
I however am right-wing and believe in some of the right leaning economic policy that we're currently moving toward.
This has caused some extreme tension in our group of friends, one guy in particular (my future brother-in-law) is increasingly hostile (passive-agressive) toward me. I mean no ill-will and have no problem with his or anyone else's political beliefs. I've tried to have this conversation with them but it usually ends up in them screaming at me indirectly about how wrong right wing thinking is.
I'm concerned about this and I want to keep this friendship, as I consider these people family and greatly value their company and fun, and forget our differences.
I don't know if I should confront them/him. My goal is to return to an amicable friendship with the people close to me. Not trying to convert anyone to my political views, not trying to prove anyone "wrong." I just want to offer an olive branch and put this big ugly blemish on an otherwise great friendship behind us.
Can anyone give me some advice?
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>>18066654
The problem I see is tribal disagreement on the topic. One way would be to avoid the topic, but you only have so much control over that. The other way would be to elevate the level of discussion. The only idea I have is both of you offering each other a book on the topic to read, and having a formal argument later, discovering the nuance in each others position in the process.
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>>18066654
Agree not to talk politics when together.
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>>18066654
Limit contact and avoid politics before that nut job gets violent with you. Lefties always escalate to violence eventually.
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Is comparing yourself to others the only way to improve yourself?
>be flabby
>see that girls want muscular athletic men
>compare myself to muscular athletic men, 'shit i need to get my shit together'
>become muscular and athletic man
>now i get girls
The same could be applied for not having enough money, not having a more lucrative career, etc.
Is it just that competition naturally breeds improvement? If so, then why do people keep on repeating 'b urself' to everything?
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>>18066491
Not necessarily.
I think a lot of people improve themselves to get more attentions, and it's very normal. And, yes, competition breeds improvement.
But it's also normal to work on yourself to change things you dislike about yourself or change for people you care about.
Be yourself doesn't mean "stop improving". It means "don't pretend to be something you are not", not "never change what you are".
Don't try to act confident if you aren't because you will be perceived as a scumbag. Don't act like you fuck every other girl if you're virgin because you will seem pathetic. People can tell if you pretend, and even if they cannot you will have to pretend forever or disappoint them. When people say "be yourself" they mean "show people who you are early on, because even if it is not the best it's better to have someone love you for who you are than having someone love you for something you are not".
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>>18066506
>
Be yourself doesn't mean "stop improving". It means "don't pretend to be something you are not", not "never change what you are".
Don't try to act confident if you aren't because you will be perceived as a scumbag. Don't act like you fuck every other girl if you're virgin because you will seem pathetic. People can tell if you pretend, and even if they cannot you will have to pretend forever or disappoint them. When people say "be yourself" they mean "show people who you are early on, because even if it is not the best it's better to have someone love you for who you are than having someone love you for something you are not".
I'm sorry mate, but this part of your post contradicted itself twice over and made no sense whatsoever
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>>18066512
How?
Anonymous
I regret being a nerd 2017-02-20 08:01:04 Post No.18065915
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I regret being a nerd 2017-02-20 08:01:04 Post No.18065915
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I should've went to parties, fuck as many girls as I want, do drugs and shit, instead I kept myself holed up in the school library for high school and college. I don't know what the fuck I was doing with my life. It's my fault for having such a boring life. What is so good about having a job but tasteless life? I only have 3 years left to become a wizard. I feel terrible and shit about listening to the advice of my parents.
Sorry, I was just venting out my disappointment of myself here. I fucking hate my life. I'll give you this as an advice: If you want to have a satisfying adulthood, at least don't be a fucking nerd/geek!
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unpop opinion, but sex is pretty tasteless too. Every path creates it's own problems. If you're that close to being a wizard online dating is just going to get easier. You haven't even hit the worst part. The realization that everything you thought you wanted out of a relationship was an idealization that doesn't even exist and you're more in love with the idea of companionship than the companionship itself.
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>>18065915
I will say this, drugs and parties are overrated. I wouldn't say you missed out on too much there.
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>>18065915
People who succeeded in academia certainly don't regret making their career choice lol
I've always thought Scott Aaronson was a cool guy, and he's happily married with a daughter if ur curious
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SczraSQE3MY
He's no Feynman but then again, nobody is
Also Cédric Villani's talk is pretty inspiring
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYwydG_aHPE
Anonymous
Did /adv/ ever actually help you? 2017-02-20 07:49:04 Post No.18065886
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Did /adv/ ever actually help you? 2017-02-20 07:49:04 Post No.18065886
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Did /adv/ ever actually help you?
Anonymous
2017-02-20 07:49:04
Post No. 18065886
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If so, in what way? Did you follow some actual advice on what to do, or maybe you got some encouragement from the words of fellow anons?
Did you folow general consensus/ long-ass, elaborated post/ first advice given?
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Once I had an actual life crisis. I doubt my career and the profession I chose.
The real help was the questions to see my situation clearly. I can remember them and oftenly think about (it was about 3 years ago)
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>>18065891
and are you happy with your choice now?
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I just like giving advice.
What the fuck do I do?
I'm a 26 year old trans femanon, just got a job at a fast food place but NEET besides that and live with my mom. I'm constantly bombarded by all my mental problems (Bipolar Depression, Anxiety, OCD, ADHD) and have gone through trauma in the past that I don't remember but has severly fucked up my memory. I've also been raped and abused a lot of my life. A completely autistic thing is that some hypnotism from someone left me actually believing I'm one of those otherkin freaks which I am so ashamed to tell anyone and part of why I want to die. I've been seriously suicidal for about a year now but haven't had the guts to go through with anything cause I'm afraid I'll still live and it'll be worse after that.
I've recently realized also that I seem to crave attention and pity from everyone (this time I'm just asking for help, not pity) and feel like a constant annoyance and burden to everyone I know.
To be honest my entire life feels like a giant weight and I can't get the guts to just off myself (unless I save up to buy a gun). What do I do?
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>>18065677
why haven't you spoken to your doctor or a therapist or a psychologist and gotten properly diagnosed and medicated along with therapy?
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>>18065681
finding a psychiatrist who takes my insurance and is in the area has been surprisingly tough, and having to rely on my mom for rides when she works almost 70 hour weeks doesn't help. I also have no phone and have to rely on my mom or sister to let me know if people call. We just recently moved to get away from my abusive father so I don't know the area too well either.
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bump for more help
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My bf and i use skype a few times a week and use the webcam. I've noticed that each time we talk he has to plug it in. Why doesnt he leave it in. What sinister reason could there be? Is he on live porn stuff and doesnt want to accidentally be seen or using some site where he would rather not have them know he has a cam. I have asked him. He thinks im nuts but he never gives an actual reason. So guys, what is he up to ?
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>>18065643
>BF takes off webcam
>Must be humping newborns
Women...
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You're fucking nuts
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>>18065643
yeah, he's chatting with camwhore or actual whore
Anonymous
Ex boyfriend's father just passed away, we broke up last week 2017-02-20 04:59:18 Post No.18065507
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Ex boyfriend's father just passed away, we broke up last week 2017-02-20 04:59:18 Post No.18065507
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Ex boyfriend's father just passed away, we broke up last week
Anonymous
2017-02-20 04:59:18
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After about two years of dealing with his consistent anger and drinking issues, I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years last weekend after I came over to his house and found him in a violent screaming match with his folks. I left not wanting to get involved and watch him act like that, he got angry at me, I called the whole thing off. After a week of ignoring him, a friend called me earlier today to tell me his father died of a massive heart attack. I called his mother and she confirmed through her mournful sobs that they were on their way to the hospital.
A little while later, he calls me from her number (had his blocked) begging me to come to him, and told me that he needs me more than ever now. I expressed deep regret. I love his parents as if they were my own, but I know that if I go he won't respect any boundaries I've tried to set and eventually I will cave out of pity and sorrow for him. I feel horrible about the whole circumstance, and right now I fear I may regret not going.
I want desperately to help him, and if things had been different up until now then I would be there without question. My parents say don't go, my gut says don't go, but my heart feels like it's ripping in two over this decision.
Am I making the right choice? Should I step so fully back into his life to comfort him when I have no intention of going back to the way things were between us? Am I being heartless for trying to avoid him during this time in his life?
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>>18065507
did he ever physically or mentally abuse you? if not I don't see why you wouldn't at least give him some basic comfort.
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>>18065507
>Am I making the right choice?
yes.
> Should I step so fully back into his life to comfort him when I have no intention of going back to the way things were between us?
no.
> Am I being heartless for trying to avoid him during this time in his life?
no.
anything else?
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>>18065516
I don't think he has ever done it intentionally. Once he got so mad at me while drunk that he broke my computer (which I built myself), my 3DS, and broke several wine glasses against the wall. He has used intimidation like that in other circumstances. He has threatened suicide on several occasions when we were fighting. He has manipulative tendencies. I stayed so long because he seemed like the perfect man for me when we first met, but things just fell apart with his declining mental health, exacerbated by his alcoholism.
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I'm embarrassed and ashamed of browsing 4chan so much. I think the autism has rubbed off on me quite a bit. I get an actual urge to use the term normies irl and have had to catch myself multiple times. I'm a 22 year old college student, do people my age even go on here anymore? I feel like most people browsed 4chan in high school and eventually stopped when they were done with their edgy phase. Not me, I was actually terrified of 4chan for a while thought the hackers story were real. I started lurking in 2013 and have been here ever since. My main boards or /fa/ and /mu/ but i started off going on /r9k/ a lot so i am still a casual i have been branching out to other boards lately though. I just feel so ashamed that i spend a lot of time on this site and don't have many friends. I remember this guy mentioning 4chan irl and it caught my attention so quick but the groups response was like ehhh they just talked about it like it was reddit. does going on here actually have a negative stigma?
I don't think anyone would willingly admit they go on 4chan often and during lectures I see people confidently on reddit but never 4chan
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anyone who says they go on reddit but not 4chan is probably full of shit.
and the only reason to TRULY be embarrassed about being on here is if you put any value on anything here from strangers beyond what it actually deserves.
if you are weak willed, or weak self identity, this is a poor place to find yourself.
even on the innocuous boards like /diy/
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>>18065499
I saw my classmate browse 4chin next to me during some IT class. We're 23. No fucks were given.
I also think about 2-3 other people browse this site from time to time.
To make it funnier, I'm not even an Americlap, we live in Eastern Europe.
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>>18065525
i once saw someone around my age browsing a blue board in starbucks. that was the only time i ever seen that, i live in new york (upstate)
Anonymous
Can't get government issued id 2017-02-20 04:49:51 Post No.18065470
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Can't get government issued id 2017-02-20 04:49:51 Post No.18065470
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Can't get government issued id
Anonymous
2017-02-20 04:49:51
Post No. 18065470
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My parents are Christian nuts who kept me sheltered from society to fuel their christian cult beliefs.
Ever since 9/11 the government made it impossible to get an id without strict restrictions.
Those restrictions include needing your parents to get your first id.
There are other americans with similar problems. Like the girl whos parents kept her sheltered on purpose. She came on video crying to youtube begging for help and it went viral.
So basically im an illegal alien unless my parents vouch they are related to me when im a grown fucking adult who wants to move out. God bless america!
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were you born/delivered in a hospital?
get your birth certificate, thats your first step.
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>>18065470
>So basically im an illegal alien
are you 10?
do you not have a social security number?
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>my Christian church doesn't believe in ______
Your parents' minimall knockoff of mormonism is not Christian.
Anonymous
Bipolar Type 2. How fucked am I for life? 2017-02-20 03:57:01 Post No.18065305
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Bipolar Type 2. How fucked am I for life? 2017-02-20 03:57:01 Post No.18065305
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Bipolar Type 2. How fucked am I for life?
Anonymous
2017-02-20 03:57:01
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Hey /adv/,
I don't really know where to start with this. I got diagnosed with Bipolar Type 2 about two years ago. I immediately went on meds and have been consistent ever since, with maybe a few day slip ups.
I don't know what to do about telling people or potential romantic partners; I am possibly breaking up with my current boyfriend because he has mentioned for a third time seeing other people. We are long distance, but make a point to see one another six times a year. I think it's just best to end it, even if he is my best friend.
With the bipolar disorder though, I feel like I'm always burdening people; I try really hard not to make a fuss or do outbursts. I'm in therapy, I have a full time job, I even graduated college undiagnosed with BPD but I'm just terrified no one will want me once they find out I have BPD.
What do?
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Don't tell people outright that you have BPD. Take a long time to get to know people, and make sure they know beyond all doubt that you can be a little unstable sometimes. There is a pretty bad stigma surrounding Bipolar and I wouldn't tell anyone that you feel is any less than understanding.
Seek patient, caring people. Not "nice guys", but legitimately good people who don't mind standing by someone with a mood disorder. Don't rush in to relationships just because you can or because you fear someone growing disinterested; be patient and try to get a really good grasp on the character of the potential partner. People who have no personal experience with people with mood disorders probably will have a hard time understanding your issues, at first.
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I'm just curious. What made you think something was wrong? Why did you go somewhere and have them diagnose you?
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>>18065370
Oh, well, for a while they had me diagnosed with chronic depression. I have a history of suicide attempts (first one being at twelve, tried to hang myself), so they knew I was depressed but they didn't get the mania part till much later.
Anonymous
Why people buy "nice" things 2017-02-20 02:47:41 Post No.18065110
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Why people buy "nice" things 2017-02-20 02:47:41 Post No.18065110
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Why people buy "nice" things
Anonymous
2017-02-20 02:47:41
Post No. 18065110
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>Always wondered why people wanted nice cars and homes
>Can only see shit when I look at them
>Get told I'll care about cars someday
>Finally just realized that they never really desire them in the first place
>Realize they only "want" them to display their own self-worth unto others.
>They only want to show their lives and compete with others
Huh. What are some other epiphanies like this?
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It seems just as silly as buying one for the appearance alone, but it's something built into us all.
I can't believe it.
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>>18065110
>homes
should be self explanatory
>why people wanted nice cars
weird mix of brainwashing, being stupid, legit necessity, perceived benefits of having one over a not so nice car etc. i could go into more detail but its really complicated.
i hope i dont need to explain why people want nice vacations though
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>>18065110
The best epiphany Ive ever had is really simple in school I always thought just do your own thing and youll be happy
But its not true
You have to have common ground with others to find friends so you can't be a naysayer that hates everything infact to maximize happiness and have the most friends you must like everything so you have a way to relate to everyone.
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got arrested and charged for shop lifting today from walmart.I'm 22 and in college. How fucked am I?
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was it a tv or a pair of jeans
most likely you'll just have to stop going to wal-mart
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kek loser.
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>>18065096
it was laundry detergent and some plastic containers
Anonymous
Recovering from Apathy 2017-02-20 12:11:35 Post No.18064773
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Recovering from Apathy 2017-02-20 12:11:35 Post No.18064773
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Hi /adv/. I'm 18, and since I hit puberty, my interest in the world at large has faded a lot. At first it was just video games and movies, but then books and television went away too. I've tried taking long (2 week) breaks from the internet, but it didn't help. Now, I only enjoy music, and even that's fading.
I got a therapist at the start of the year, but honestly it hasn't helped much. I started taking walks every day, meditating, and sleeping earlier, and while I do have more energy, I still feel empty inside. Most days I spend all of my free time here, but lately I've just been sleeping all the time.
Have any of you dealt with this state before? Is it possible to get out of it? I'm really stuck, advice is greatly appreciated.
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>>18064773
do something drastic
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>>18064821
Like what?
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>>18064830
Start doing something tangible and less intellectual. Books and vidya are great fun but yield no real results or feelings of accomplishment in the real world. Go dig a ditch, build something with your hands, help someone, start a garden or take a class in something where you work with your hands.