Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2447. page

>>18073108

>but what if its the best thing ever?

as a general rule, nothing can be the best thing ever. the first time you do heroine it feels amazing, but after awhile all you're doing is sustaining a high and ruining your life.

relationships tend to start great and get bad. the reason people didn't get divorced before was because divorce wasn't really an option. make it an option and most people use it.

this isn't to say you can't have lifelong relationships, but they take work, they are not the best thing ever, they are a partnership, someone you decide to be with for better OR FOR WORSE.

but the system has made it really bad for men if things go south. if it wasn't for divorce favoring women to an unreasonable degree it wouldn't be bad. if divorce was a literal equal divide of the assets, it would make sense.

but its not like that. when you marry someone (as a man) you are legally agreeing to take care of your wife until one or both of you dies, and you can't just change your mind on that, hence why alimony exists. it made sense when men were the primary providers and women were stay at home moms, but now women make enough to support themselves and its fucking shit up.

>how do you know if someone is the one?

you don't. there's no way to see the future. if you believe in a mystical concept of 'the one' some sort of destiny that exists outside of religion (considering that virtually no religions preach about romance) then go ahead and use your magic emotional compass to decide.

Marriage is a religious ceremony, to be bound in the name of god for all eternity's. The rings symbolise the infinite timeline of your matrimony.
Why would you care about being married?
It doesn't prove you love anyone, who cares if you live together forever and are not married, you both know how much you care

>>18073117
well i dont care about the risks of marriage because theyre virtually nonexistent when you write up a prenup with a lawyer.

>>18073094

if you mean those black spots on your nose, those arent blackheads, those are your pores. they aren't like pimples which grow out, they're necessary holes in your body.

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>>18073101
these ones i have

crush up aspirine, squeeze out a lemon, honey is optional but pretty good

enjoy your home remedy that trumps all the shit in the stores

Yes it is, no its not hard work just expensive with all the equipment you don't even need

>>18073067
You're a female, aren't you?

>non STEM degree
>not worthless
Pick one and only one.

>>18073048
You don't start as a waiter.

>>18073050
That's pretty vague. I just mean like a server at village inn, not some kind of high class restaurant, if that's what you're getting at.

>>18073088
why would a village inn hire you as a waiter without any experience?

Oviously you should not be in a relashionship in the first place. If you are for the person you are with you would not be thinking things like this at all. Grow up

>>18073036
totally normal, everyone thinks about it because its hardwired into your DNA to spread your seed as much as possible

its up to you to resist those urges

>>18073036

of course its normal. lovei sn't about finding someone who magically takes away your humanity.

relationships are not supposed to be easy. its like raising a kid. they're not just these cute little cartoon characters who do funny stuff and say cute things. they are 90% struggle but you feel good about the outcome and the life you build with them.

and relationships are the same way. you have decided for whatever reason that this girl is special. it doesn't magically make sexual attraction disappear. the point isn't to take away your arousal.

they say 'a knight in shining armor has never had his metal tested'. a lot of people act like cheating is the most horrendous thing in the world and that they would never do it... but then the opportunity arises and many do.

the point im triyng to make here is that the relationship isn't supposed to take away your urges. its about you being strong enough to overcome them for someone else.

Steal it

go to poorly staffed bars and order drinks, they might not ID you

None of your friends have an older sibling?

>>18073009
Today
>i saw her make eye contact with me and later on i decide to try talking to her
>when she was talking to a mutual friend i made him laugh and i tried saying "hey, how's it going" and she tells me she told me not to talk to her again, it was quiet for the awhile and friend looked uncomfortable
>while waiting in a room we were in was making my co-workers laugh
>turn around and kind of look at her, see her nervously touching her phone, not "using" her phone but spinning the entire phone itself while hunched in a semi-fidel position
>turn during a moment of quiet i heard her talking to the other co-workers
>i could be wrong but it seemed like she was trying to make me jealous, her voice was low and an attempt to be flirty
>hear her say "i'm with my bf and i'm HAPPY with him" she said it slightly louder and rehearsedish
>when conversation dies down i start getting sarcastic and make everyone laugh again
>she looks stiff and she bolts out when the door opens
>ask the earlier friend if i was being rude when i tried talking to her, he looks at me and says no

So is there anything i can do to try and get her to talk to me again? Fucking shit out of luck. I really just want to be friend with her again but fuck.

>>18073012
Maybe apologise for talking shit? Even if you weren't wrong it's still rude.

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>>18073009
not worth it OP, similar-ish situation to you. just move on from her. if she comes back to you and wants to be your friend again cool beans, if not you'll know she doesn't to be your friend and that's a load off your shoulders

>>18073003
I MESSED UP THE TITLE! How embarrassing...

>>18073003
>Is there anything I should know that I may not already?
Not really.
Just be careful not to get addicted or you may end up with a fried brain from losing all your brain cells.

Just find a comfortable couch, a nice playlist, maybe a movie or shoe, make your self comfortable, chill and enjoy.

Wat is there to be confused about? Seems pretty clear cut to me.

>>18072952
>a bi male
u gay af bruh
>I'm confused af.
casue you're gay af
>What should I do?
suck a dick

>>18072952

Allow her to come into your life and cure you of your gayness.

you're a social retard on purpose it seems, what do you have against being well liked?

>>18072955

It makes me uncomfortable. Like I have to put a show and live up to their expectations. I also kinda hate myself so there's that.

when youre at work be pleasant but you dont have to go out of your way to talk to anyone

if people from work try to contact you after work hours you are not obligated to talk to them unless it is actually about work

thats the way i look at it

holy shit go to the doc dude

>>18072906
Your friend bill cosbyed you and did some gay shit while you were asleep

A g pen is a vaporizer. Only thing I can think is that you tried to vape some of that fake weed shit. They used to call it K2 around here. That stuff would fit the description, but i've never vaped it. Gets you very high for a very short amount of time. You sure it was weed and not synthetic?

Just like, use your will power lol xD

Addictions are habits. Habits work like this: you get a cue that triggers a craving (or desire, or impulse), you follow the cue and go through a routine that satisfies the craving and then you get a "reward" (which can be anything, from the secretion of dopamine in your brain to an itch in your foot). For instance you may have a habit to go jogging in the morning. The cue may be simply getting out of your bed, or brushing your teeth, or your whole morning routine, the routine is the jogging itself and the reward is the feeling of wholesomeness or tiredness you get after your jog (or it may be something like staring in the mirror, admiring your own body).

These are the 3 things you must identify with any habit if you wish to change it, but it's usually a little more complicated with addictions, because you tend to have more cues and the reward is usually not very clear. For instance, with smoking you have many cues, the most important ones being the physical addiction. Your body feels the lack of nicotine which forms a cue for the psychological addiction. There are usually other ques, like drinking coffee (plenty of smokers tend to always smoke a cigarette when drinking their coffee), going out, socializing, eating etc.

Point is, you must identify the cues, the routine (which is usually the addiction itself, it shouldn't be too hard) and the reward. Then you change the routine. Instead of doing whatever it was you were doing before when you had a cue, you now do something harmless and try to keep a similar reward. For instance, the easiest way to quit smoking is to replace it with nicotine gum, because the reward is really similar. Or, the best way to stop eating chocolate is to carry around some fruits and eat one of those every time you get the craving. The new reward can be different, but the more similar it is to the old one, the easier and faster it will be for you to quit.

>>18072869
Thanks, that's some good advice I'll relay to my friend.

>>18072801
https://www.youtube.com/watch?&v=dZLfasMPOU4

Be manly, chat her up. If you're fat or ugly or neet then your chances are severely impacted, but if you're none of the above then just try getting to know her.

How old are you?

>>18072779
>severe anxiety and depression

These usually don't help when trying to move onwards in life. But congrats, hope it works out for you!

It's a lie.

How retarded do you have to be to be unable to realize what depresses you? Being a shrink must be piss easy with low lifes like you as customer.

>>18072744
Also going back to the car ride thing I read her texts and saw that day after the car ride he said "we took it too far, I have a girlfriend and you are dating anon. I don't want to mess it up with my gf I really like her" but my girlfriend said he was just talking about how when he stopped he tried to kis her. She said she pushed him back and said no. I believe her but the fact he said "we took it too far" makes me think she didn't push back.

>>18072750
Sounds toxic

>>18072760
Is it my fault? I mean if it I i want to fix it, I really love her.