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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2380. page

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I am trying to improve my life in the relationship sector. I come to you guys because I just need help figuring out manageable ways to reach my goals. I will list my goals and you guys maybe list some effective ways of reaching them ?

Goal 1: meet a new woman and get her name and number.

That one seems hard to me because I don't go out to bars and I have very male dominated hobbies.

Goal 2: kiss a girl that actually likes me back.

This goal may seem easy to some but I have not even shared a kiss with a woman yet.

Goal 3: make new female friends

This goal is more or less to help me get acclimated to being around women.

These are my current goals. Can someone lend guidance?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>18095212

id recommend making your goals about what you do and not how people react. otherwise you'll be aiming for the lowest hanging fruit you can get.

instead of goals that require someone else to have a specific reaction, just put yourself in the situation that could ellicit that reaction.

you can't guarantee someone will like you, and even if you could it doesn't mean she'd be a good girl. crossing that off your list would feel empty and being unable to cross that off your list makes you feel like you failed at something that isn't even an accomplishable task.
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>>18095307

I see.. I had not thought of it that way.
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>>18095619

it helps. make a goal to go out X number of times a week and while there to just talk to Y amount of people. regardless of where it leads you'll know you put yourself out there.

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My dog has dandruff on his belly.

Should I increase his washes to once a week and get some special doggy dandruff shampoo? I usually just use whatever they have at the dog wash machine
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>18095195
i'm pretty sure your dog has dandruff because you wash him. you don't need to wash your dog unless he swam in some really dirty water.
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>>18095213
>dogs don't pee on themselves
>dogs don't have shit on their ass
>dogs cant develop ear infections
>dogs leave food on their faces
>dogs don't have fleas or ticks

As for OP, visit petco and invest in a decent shampoo, should be like $20.
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>>18095213
They aren't fucking cats
>>18095225
They also just smell bad on their own sometimes, especially if they're outside a lot.

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As the subject suggests I feel like I'm not supposed to be here. And when I say that I mean I feel like a character in a book added at the last minute and then the author decided to make into the main character. I look at my family and my friends and it feels like they wouldn't be any different if I never existed. I then look at myself and it feels like I'm some sort of patched together mess of mismatched traits. I'm handsome enough and I'm addicted to lifting but I've never even kissed a girl and never really accomplished anything in the 19 years I've been alive. I can honestly say I feel like a complete failure as a human being but I don't want to die or kill myself either. Does anyone else feel this way and if so will it eventually pass or will it just evolve into full on depression and suicidal thoughts?
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
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characters in stories always feel like they're just tacked into a story they shouldn't be, because they're meant for something greater than the weird roots where they dont feel like they belong.

so they leave and go on a journey to forge their own destiny and find where they belong along the way.
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Yeah I feel the same anon. Almost 18yr old and.never had a gf. Life sucks.
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>>18095174

Try having been in a relationship with somebody you genuinely loved for several years, before completely fucking it up of your own volition, ruining the relationship, and not being interested in dating anybody else.

Broke up with this person like three years ago now, and still not over it, despite having thought I was multiple times.

Trust me, it could be far worse, and wallowing in self pity just makes it a self-fulfilling cycle.

What badly does parental neglect affect a child's overall development?

>dad left to the U.S. when I was one, leaving me with my mom
>mom left me when I was 5 to join my Dad
>they end up divorcing
>raised by my grandparents/aunt.


One thing I've noticed is that I talk to my Mom like she's a complete stranger. I have no emotional bond or that parental love I see with other parents.

I feel ashamed to talk about my past with a professional.
13 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>18095112
Nothing to be ashamed of, anon. It happens. When I was a baby, or around one, I dunno really, my dad cheated on my mom. She didn't tell me this till I was 24. She wanted me to have a normal relationship with him growing up she said, so she didn't want me to have a bwd perception of him. But they split, found new partners, and I basically had a screwed up life since. I'm greatful for many things though.

My father and I have lived far apart for so long, that I hardly ever think of him.

It happens..
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>>18095112
I also have had my parents been divorced at a very young age.\

Talking to someone about it whether it be an en confidante or a professional therapist is the best way to confront the feelings you have about the past.
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>>18095203
Is it normal to not want to talk to your parents? I don't have any emotional connections with them. Whenever my mom calls me, I feel like I'm just going through the motions.

I have never even told her I love her, really bizarre.

'Sup /adv/!

21 year old male, got diagnosed with some form of autism at an early age which eventually was pinned down to aspergers syndrome. Now as a kid I had a ton of trouble and I attended special education until I went to college. Nowadays I got all of the major issues under control and pretty much fit into "normal" society, almost finished my studies, got a side job, have a good amount of friends and even date with girls now and then.

Hope I can explain this well enough btw and sorry for the wall of text.

But one thing I just can't seem to let go off is a certain process of thought. You see, whenever I'm alone and not too busy I will just start rehashing en preparing conversations in my head. It's not truly talking but more akin to guessing how my conversation partner would react during certain conversations or what the best way to tell something would be.

None of these conversations have really taken place, they're like the idea or vision of a conversation I would like to have in the future. Typical "conversations" would be how I could best tell a girl I'm seeing I really like her and how I truly admire some of her traits, how I should comfort and help a friend I've lost contact with a long time ago and of who I knew had a lot of social issues. Sometimes I'm not imagining having a convo with an actual person I know but people I would like to meet, for example I'm going on a big trip in half a year or so and I will just prepare what I would tell locals about myself and my country once I meet them.

I'm really not sure if this is considered normal, some other people on the spectrum have told me they do similar things but I also read that this could be leaning towards schizophrenia? I don't hear voices or truly talk to myself though, its more like I'm playing these convos in my mind.

A lot of thanks for reading all this!

Also I might switch to my phone in a bit.
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>18095105
I also like to preload conversations in case I ever end up in a certain circumstance. I've never been diagnosed. Should I also be concerned?
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Honestly aspergers is a meme. I had practically all of the symptoms as a kid. Right down to the textbook "playing with the wheels of the toy car rather than the car itself."

I was pretty "weird" for a kid, but I also have a really high IQ so my development was just abnormal. I'm not a retard, and if you can fit in and understand social interactions you're not an aspie either. Forget about the fucking diagnosis if it doesn't help you my brother.
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>>18095622
This 100%.

>>18095105
>>18095600

You're not strange or weird or even unique. You're a human bean and "aspergers" is nothing more than a good reason to keep you and your parents paying big pharma money for your entire life.

We all do this stuff and don't listen to anyone who says otherwise... and take responsibility for being a NEET or a douche or a socially ignorant fool, whatever the case may be. Don't use 'muh spergers' as an excuse to not grow up.

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Showed my power level at school when my English prof kept asking leading questions, challenging me, and trying to stump me regarding my research topic. I gave an example of "intellectual gated communities" as being people that repost things like that ABC segment where a Muslim woman claims emphatically that Sharia Law is feminist.

I was talking about how Islam, for example, endorses and enables pedophilia and how Muslim areas have a lot of child marriages and it's part of why we have problems with them when they come to a new area when a female pipes up.

>"No, it does not."
>"Yes, it absolutely does."
>"No, it doesn't. I'm a Mulsim." Says the brown lady. It seemed like to her that somehow made her an expert.
>"When did Muhammad marry Aisha and when did they consummate, then?"
>"W-what?"
>"When did Muhammad fuck his wife Aisha for the first time? The Quran says it specifically. I'm pretty sure it's that he married her when she was 7 and fucker her when she was 9."
>"It's different."
>"He fucked a 9 year old."
>"It's cultural stuff, tradition."
>"A tradition of fucking children should not be respected and the Quran locks that in as an inherent aspect of Muslim culture because he's supposed to be 'the perfect Muslim.' In fact, let me look it up. ...... Yup. Right here it says married at 6, fucked her at 9."
>Dead silence after that.

Am I going to have acid thrown on me?
What can I do to not get thrown out of college?

Additionally, the English Prof tried to corner me by saying how Catholics and such have committed pedophilia as well, and I brought up how the Pope has advocated for lightening punishments of pedophiles and shielding them after the fact, and spoke of zero tolerance regardless of origin. Might that be the saving grace?
126 posts and 9 images submitted.
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>>18095023
stupid pol tard
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>>18095025
Look, I realize this kind of looks like a slanted post trying to present some kind of ideological argument or something, but that stuff was presented only to give context. Pedophilia is bad. The only reason I even know this much about Islam, like I said at the time, is because once upon a time I was considering converting due to a female Muslim friend of mine basically practicing a completely different version of Islam from what the Quran prescribes for you. She's a Dutch policewoman and a "Muslim Policewoman" would be an oxymoron in most Muslim countries, so that alone is a pretty big difference.
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Pretty based anon

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No idea why it's happening but it's always been this way. Sub 2 minutes masterbating, kv. What do?
6 posts and 3 images submitted.
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Get rid of your foreskin. That definitly helps.
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Google "edging" and train. Also how old are you?
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>>18095081
18.

>>18095019
Little too late for that.

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I'm trying to ditch video games as a hobby, because it's expensive and either unsatisfying or isolating. Problem is, it's a majority of my social life, and pretty much my only recreational activity (aside from cooking, which is a problem because I'm like 260lbs at 6').

Can you guys offer up some ideas for alternative hobbies with low costs of entry?
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Used guitars go for like $40. And teach yourself with youtube videos. Or you could start working out. Running is free.
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>>18095004

try dodgeball, 5 dollars a day, lots of cardio
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>>18095011
bodyweight exercises are fun too although he might have trouble with stuff like pull ups/chin ups at his height and weight until he slims down a bit.

moms goingf shopping today what snacks should i get
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>>18095002
get some pocky and sushi you weeb
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>>18095002
Ruffles.
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>>18095002
tendies

Whats the best way to cheat in school?
10 posts and 1 images submitted.
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use google
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Is this high school or college?

I personally never cheated in college. The risk was WAY too much, for me personally.
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high school

So I feel like since im 22 and a virgin I lost my right to be excited openly about nerdy things. Like when a new game or anime comes out I feel like I can't show how truly excited I am because it just adds to me being a loser more then I am. If i were to get excited for something like that I can just see people just being oh im not surprised your excited for that based on what I am. Like its weird but I have three other friends in the same boat as me and they are freaking out over the new switch and zelda and I am super hyped about it also but I try to keep it back because I know it wont get me anywhere in life and I need to show a more mature side then to freak out over video games or whatever. But am I wrong in this situation, to hold back true emotions for something that simple?
10 posts and 1 images submitted.
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you seem to be highly distressed about being a virgin, what are you doing to change that?
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>>18094976
sounds like you need to get a degree in not giving a fuck what others think.

being overly self conscious will get you nowhere other than walked over.
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>>18094987
Changed my whole out look on life, started to view myself more critically. Getting in shape, got better style, clean myself up more and care more about how I look and understand. Just general stuff to improve that I neglected overtime

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My gf owes 30k in cc debt and wants to file for bankruptcy. What is the quickest/easiest:/cheapest way to do so? Any help will be mucho appreciado.
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>>18094949
>>7847636
>>
>>18094949


>My gf owes 30k in cc debt and wants to file for bankruptcy

If she has a full time job making decent money then it would definitely be better to pay it off and live frugally for 4-5 years instead of having bankruptcy over your head for 7+
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>>18094966
Really? Whats so bad about bankruptcy?

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So /adv/, this is my first time posting on this board so i'm not sure if this gets posted a lot so don't crucify me. I fucked up my senior year and failed both semesters because of lack of attendance due to my social anxiety getting worse. Is a GED with my name on it really that worse than my transcript saying I failed senior year? Do you think colleges and workplaces would even care that much because I didn't carry out my senior year? I just really don't want to fuck the rest of my life up because my life's going through one bump in the road.
10 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>18094874
Get your GED.
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>>18094879
Why?
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In my opinion, i think it would be better to super senior it, i think most people could agree that noticing you fucked up (especially senior year since its supposed to be decently fun and college bound) going back and fixing what you messed up would be better.... hopefully you got good grades soph/jr year, it would help alot, just dont expect A UC or yale or anything.... for sure you can get into a university though... Good luck op

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How do I pull this girl aside and ask her out?
She is always with other friends and is never alone. I want to catch her when she's by herself and ask her out but I feel like saying "can I talk to you for a minute" is weird and awkward in front of her friends at uni.
It's gotten to the point where I want to ask her over text even though I 100% know this is a bad idea but just sitting here waiting for a small chance of a window spawning is even worse.

About a month ago I caught her in the hallway and asked her out and said when she's a bit more comfortable she'd take me on my offer. I wouldn't ask her a second time unless I'm 95% sure she actually has a thing for me and I know she does. I can list details if anyone doubts me but that isn't what the thread is about. I feel like I'll never get another golden opportunity to catch her alone so I can ask her out and like I mentioned above I'm contemplating doing it over text.
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Just approach her and ask her if she has a minute, then walk a few steps away from her group. Stalking her and waiting for her to be alone just to talk to her is... well a little pathetic.
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>>18094865
This is just one of those situations where you have to just go for it. You're going to miss your window while she moves on to someone that doesn't care if her friends are around or not.
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>>18094873
I'm not stalking her, not sure what gave you that impression but I'm genuinely not. I'm friends with her and her other friends.

I guess I fucked up in explaining it properly. When I said "her friend group" I'm included in it. Meaning as a group we are collectively always together throughout the day, except a couple of classes. So I guess my question is how do I break her apart from our own friend group? I feel like if we were all together and I randomly said "hey K can I talk to you" and walked out of the room that would cause the others to say "that's weird" and such. the others don't know I'm attracted to this person.

>>18094877
I've committed myself into asking her sometime between this Monday and Wednesday. I just don't know the exact wording of the question I should ask.
Do I say "can I talk with you for a minute outside"?
I know I'm overthinking things but it helps for me to have a "script" and know what I'm going to ask and how to say it. If I just try and be natural I'm afraid I'll say something like "can I ask you a question" which would be a pretty big allusion if I have to ask it out of the room.

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>have gf of several years
>on-and-off dead bedroom, pretty hard on me
>she recently tells me she was raped by an ex-boyfriend
>lack of sex is killing me but try to be supportive
>fast forward more than a year to now and little to no improvement
>beginning to feel desperate and depressed at lack of physical intimacy with gf
>relationship is feeling more like friends than BF/GF

Has anyone gone through something similar? Any advice?
I'm trying not to be selfish, but I do everything she asks of me.
All I want is sex with my girl and I rarely get it.

I feel like its killing me, going so long and getting rejected so much.
37 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>>18094825
How much time did her ex-boyfriend get?
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Has she tried counseling? How often do you have sex, if at all?
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>>18094825

the problem here is you seemed to think it would just change. its not going to. its a traumatic issue and thats going to take soem serious therapy to get past, and most people never do. it doesn't define their lives, but it can ruin sex for you.

when i was a kid i ate fruit loops. afterwards i vomitted. i have never eaten fruit loops ever again. the htought makes me sick, even though it wasn't even the fruitloops that made me vomit, i just had some stomach bug.

similar issue with ramen. ate some, then went on a roller coaster, and comitted. now you can't pay me to eat ramen.

now imagine that instead of eating something and vomitting you got brutally raped, and then society kept telling you to just stop associating sex with that one time.

not gonna happen.if there is any hope, its in therapy, but i wouldnt hold your breath.

that being said, rape aside, your general feel for the relationship is actually quite common. pasiso nfades, and guys just wnat to have sex but girls dont work like guys, they have to be turned on, and will often stop you from doing so. so men often find themselves in something more closely resembling a 'partnership' more than a romance.

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