Anonymous
I'd like your advice, correct me if I'm wrong 2017-03-31 02:34:49 Post No.18175513
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I'd like your advice, correct me if I'm wrong 2017-03-31 02:34:49 Post No.18175513
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I'd like your advice, correct me if I'm wrong
Anonymous
2017-03-31 02:34:49
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Daily life has shown me that almost every single man (in their 20's and older) need a decent career/job, a car and his own place if he wants to get a girl.
It doesn't matter how confident and kind a guy is, if he can't get her interested during the 1st impression, he won't have a chance with her.
This is honestly what I see in everyday life.
Have you ever met a man who got/hooked up with girls wihout having the things I've mentioned ?
What's he like ?
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>>18175513
>Daily life has shown me that almost every single man (in their 20's and older) need a decent career/job, a car and his own place if he wants to get a girl.
Well, yeah, you need a job to have a girl in general, since what are you going to say when she ask you where is that money coming from?
About the place not necessarily but if you have a shit family then yeah you at least need an apartment on the first floor.
>It doesn't matter how confident and kind a guy is, if he can't get her interested during the 1st impression, he won't have a chance with her.
This one's true.
>Have you ever met a man who got/hooked up with girls wihout having the things I've mentioned ?
If you count some highschooler/college student, yeah.
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>>18175513
I mean, I used to. I worked pretty shitty jobs up until my late 20's, and lived with my dad for two years after college. Didn't really have any problems with girls. Most of them were in similar situations.
The first impression is important, but those material things aren't necessarily as big of a deal as you're making them out to be. The biggest thing is showing them you have SOMETHING to offer. For me it was that I'm generally intellegent,and can make people laugh. And I'm a decent conversationalist. I think that's a really underrated trait. No one wants to go to dinner and spend an hour awkwardly talking about the weather.
Once you hit thirty, stability in your life becomes way more important.
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>>18175513
Well either you or the other person needs it. Just think about it. If you're living in a US city with a subpar transit system (see: most US cities) and neither of you have a place of your own or cars to go see one another, it's going to be pretty fucking difficult to be alone and intimate with each other. To get either of those things, you need a job. This isn't even an endgame for a relationship, this is just fucking life. You need a job and it's hard to do so, but just fucking do it.
Anonymous
Girl I've liked for a while 2017-03-31 02:33:03 Post No.18175509
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Girl I've liked for a while 2017-03-31 02:33:03 Post No.18175509
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Girl I've liked for a while
Anonymous
2017-03-31 02:33:03
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The girl I've liked for about 6 years is now single again
I fuckedu p my chances freshman year by being a shy little fag, she liked me then too, but got turned off by it.
How do I message her and what do I say
I love dogs, she loves dogs, there is a dog event coming up, can I incorporate that
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Sure, you could ask her to go to that even, but we don't know how bad could she be crying right now because of the breakup.
But also girls definitely recover quickly sometimes as well, so you could ask her AS A FRIEND and then move on to become his man.
Only problem is that you said you were a little shy so I'm thinking you didn't talked to her a lot, but if you did and were good friends then definitely ask her.
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>>18175509
chances are you can't salvage this. if there is a way, the only way to do it is to not be a shy little fag, which means just manning up and reaching out and having a real conversation, not a pre recorded script from a Kiribatian boi pucci rating pictograph forum
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>>18175529
Sorry forgot to add, another guy, who has ALSO been in love with her for about 6 years is talking to her.
They went on a date, so my window is small here.
>>18175534
Tru, I know me and her have more in common, but that guy has confidence. So I need to step my game up.
Priority is to not overthink right? I just can't figure out how to start the convo. That is what is messing with me.
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>lost my virginity at the age of 8 to some boy that was sexually abused
>started masturbating daily at the age of 9
>alcoholism getting worse with each passing day
>the most fucked up part is that I've had three girlfriends and haven't properly fucked any of them because I always turn them down for some reason beyond me with all the hardcore porn I watch daily
how do I fix myself /adv/ ? am I just doomed?
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Turn to Jesus
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>>18175502
You just need some good pro counselling and a really good cry.
There are places that give help to victims of sexual abuse pretty much for free.
You have to find yourself to be content with yourself at the end of the day, and find closure and just be happy.
Thats it man, hope you feel better soon, its better to just dive in then to suffer as time goes on. Look up a vid from "heroic concepts" on youtube, he talks about his experiance with sexual abuse and even though I have't watched the video, he's a solid man with good intentions.
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>>18175561
He needs to come to terms with the fact that he wasn't sexually abused in the first place and to not blame that on his porn addiction, instead of on his own lack of self control.
Take control of your own life and change it, op. Yes it is your fault you didn't bang your girlfriends. Don't whine, just change.
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My girlfriend is awesome, but her family kinda scares me. I'm fairly certain they're tied up in sheisty shit. They like me but I feel like whenever I visit I'm surrounded by docile wolves.
She and I are pretty serious and she's subtly told me "don't ask and you've got nothing to worry about". Is this a good idea?
Pic very related
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>>18175483
What kind of sheisty shit? You must have some guesses. Drugs? Mob connections?
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZtkWHZ2PeM
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>>18175483
Kek OP, I think you're fucked now.
You better don't break her heart or they're going to break your neck.
I think you shouldn't worry that much, just enjoy your relationship with her since I don't think her family will put you on their things, they have most likely a successor already
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>live in small town
>the entire town is just one redneck group I'm not a part of
>there's 3 people I can hang out with but they are all lunatics
>like locked in asylum crazy
>it's too expensive anywhere else I wanna live
>have to use parents car
>can't make friends out of town anyway
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>>18175477
The world is a giant place. People have moved and lived and flourished with nothing. This "Its too expensive anywhere else" gripe is horseshit.
The ENTIRE world is too expensive for you to move out of your one small time? Bullshit. You just don't have either the courage or motivation to change your situation.
You can move, you can make friends, you can make money, but all those things require the one thing you seem deadset against mustering; effort. The pity party song and dance is old hat, OP. Either work your fingers to the bone to make it out of your city or shut the fuck up because this is, has been, and always will be completely within your control.
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>>18175489
I mean I'd have to be near civilization so I can use public transit and find jobs
I come from a place so poor that 3 bedrooms for 1000 is a lot
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>>18175477
You could always try to do a long distance FRIENDship, but I don't guarantee it.
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I think I may be too codependent on my close friends.
A while back, I met a girl online, and I've been trying to talk to her everyday. On occasion, I would vent about the problems I went through at home, or how I hate myself and feel like I suck at everything I do. Recently, I've been in a worse rut and have been leaning on her shoulder for support, and I noticed that I feel less shitty around her. So I talked to another friend of mine about this and he said that I may be too codependent.
After this, I started to think about how I behaved towards my previous friends, and I noticed a pattern where I would get clingy or codependent on them if they were open to letting me vent about my problems. Now I feel bad and I don't want to ruin my current friendships.
How do I fix this, /adv/?
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>>18175382
bump, I really need some help
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You can't invest yourself entirely on this person. That's just asking for bad news, whatever happens.
Just be cognizant of her reactions. A good friend will be there for you, but you can't entirely unload - that's just exhausting.
Try asking her about this. Don't be too needy, just direct. If you care about her as a friend, you should be more aware about what she gets out your relationship.
Behavior-wise, how do you become clingy?
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>>18175382
I feel as though you really shouldn't be worried about these types of things. Friends and loved ones are there to listen and hear out your difficulties; being clingy just means you really enjoy social interaction, which is a good thing. I hope this helps
Anonymous
Post-college existential crisis 2017-03-31 12:57:21 Post No.18175354
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Post-college existential crisis 2017-03-31 12:57:21 Post No.18175354
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Post-college existential crisis
Anonymous
2017-03-31 12:57:21
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I'm in a job I don't like and I'm applying every few days to new jobs, I drive an hour to get to work every day, living at home with my mom while I save up money. I haven't bought an apartment closer to work because I don't want to commit myself financially to a job I don't like. My maternal grandmother just died and my mom's not doing the best, I'm not afraid she's going to hurt herself, but she's not in a good emotional place. I'm dealing with aching sadness. My dad's also dead and even though it's been a few years I miss him a lot.
I have the persistent feeling ever since my grandma died that "I need to get the fuck out this state". I've never had a girlfriend and I'm a virgin at 23. I also recently stopped believing in God and haven't told anyone. I really wished I believed in God (specifically Christianity) because it's such a nice ideology but I just don't believe anymore.
Given all that, what should I do?
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>>18175354
You expected life to be easy. Sorry to hear about your father.
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>>18175354
God OP, I'm really sorry. Some of the stuff you wrote resonated with me in all the worst ways, but it might help to know you're not alone
Have you considered seeing a psych? Or at least having a friend you can tell all this too, it might help
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>>18175447
>Have you considered seeing a psych?
My mom would legit freak out and anyways, what would I tell them? How would I avoid coming across as another entitled young man who "expected life to be easy"?
>>18175440
What do you mean?
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I’ve been dealing with extreme fluctuations in my energy level for almost year. I started having small, but noticeable (noticeable to me, I’m not sure if others noticed), fluctuations about a year and a half to two years ago.
I’ll try to describe what I feel the best I can.
High episodes
>Extreme hyperactivity
>Always caused by something, I never wake up feeling like this
>Anxiety or a strong sense of urgency
>Paranoia
>Lasts for hours until I come down
>More common/intense than low episodes
This usually plays out in two ways. I will either be super anxious and become completely consumed with what ever caused the anxiety or I’ll get a surge of energy and feel the need to do something. The first one is crippling, I cannot focus on anything else. The second one makes me very productive. I still have a small amount of anxiety, but it is manageable.
Low episodes
>Extreme sluggishness
>Usually not caused by anything, sometimes occurs the day after a high episode
>Not necessarily in a bad mood, just very tired
I’m not entirely sure about how long they last or the frequency. I don’t have any anxiety or paranoia so it isn’t as taxing as the high episodes.
If I’m not having an episode, I feel pretty normal.
I’m a very private person, I’m terrified to talk to anyone IRL about this. Fuck, I know you guys aren’t psychiatrists, but please tell me if something is wrong with me or not.
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Anon you're probably bipolar. Manic or depressive episodes can be triggered by changes in your environment or experiences.
If you don't get meds and it is bipolar, it will get worse and you could have a psychotic break during a high phase or try to kill yourself during a low phase. I know it sucks but you need to go to a doctor.
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>>18175340
Thanks for the reply, man.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think my episodes last long enough for me to be diagnosed as bipolar.
I definitely feel it getting worse though. I'm 18 and I don't know how to ask my parents for help. I know my mom has noticed it, but I don't know what to say to her. I don't know how to start the conversation. I was going to seek help after I move and start uni in the fall, but I don't know how I would pay for it then.
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It seems that the only women who show interest in me are underage, and it's really making me uncomfortable.
On semi-regular occasions, if I'm bussing through town, or in the city, or shopping at a mall, I'll get at least one girl introducing herself to me and appearing unusually friendly and flirty. And most of the time, she's very obviously in high school or underage. And because of that, at best I'll entertain a conversation, but typically I'll glare or be sluggish and unresponsive in conversation until she goes away (and I end up feeling bad for it).
This almost never happens with women my age. When I try to approach them, it just never goes anywhere. The best I can get is a girl replying to me in a very quiet and awkward manner. Or we drift apart and stop talking. For these reasons alone, I don't bother approaching women in general.
So it really bothers me to be repeatedly approached by clearly young people. Since statutory and age differences are things I take *very* seriously. My minimum age requirements for not just the opposite sex, but people in general, is to be old enough to go to a bar with. And considering I'm twenty-eight, even that's too young for tastes.
In addition, since it's almost only underage girls approaching and showing interest, it makes me really terrified about what that says about me. It's a foreboding, gut-wrenching thought that kind of makes me want to pic related. Plus, even if they always were the ones who approached you, and you never once did so yourself, there's such unforgiving social stigma and legal consequences involved (I live in the USA if you're wondering) that, again, makes pic related feel like a genuine consideration. Especially considering there's almost nobody you can talk to about this in person without compromising everything. So it's even more stressful, and puts me in a state of panic. :(
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Calm down Anon. Maybe you have a baby face and girls think you are their age.
Older girls also are more likely to be a bit more cynical about dating because they've either had bad experiences or have had a lot of douches who won't take no for an answer hit on them in public.
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>>18175308
Are you ugly? Maybe they're flirting with you as a gag, then laughing at you with their friends when you're gone.
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>>18175308
>It's a foreboding, gut-wrenching thought that kind of makes me want to pic related.
Dont worry anon, no girl has ever shown interest in me and that is way worse, trust me.
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Would it be weird asking someone I work with out? Even though they work in a different department and have very little interaction?
Backstory, a couple months ago, we had a summit where my boss introduced me to a girl. She was extremely attractive, but I was semidating someone at the time so I wasn't too interested. We talked for a bit, then went on our ways. I found out she would be moving to my our offices and I think she just recently came. Yesterday, I asked my boss where HR sits as they used to sit by us. She then said if you have any questions, message the girl. I never said I had a question, but she went right to that.
I plan on sending her a message tomorrow, as I actually have an HR related question.
As stated above, would it be weird to ask her out? I need to find out if she is dating anyone first.
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I thought inter-work relationships were illegal.
I knew this dude who got shot over flirting with this girl at the coffee machine.
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>>18175291
>Would it be weird asking someone I work with out? Even though they work in a different department and have very little interaction?
If you don't really care about the job and you can afford to bounce out if things get weird then go for it. Toss away jobs are great opportunities to socialize and interact with women that you typically wouldn't.
If this is actually an important job to you then don't shit where you eat. Even if she ends up liking you and going out a few times if this fizzles out badly or she turns out to be batshit insane then you've pretty much just nuked your own job in exchange for a few dates.
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>>18175291
I tried it once, I imagine if it works it would be great but just know that failure will make shit rather awful.
If I could do it again I'd just kept to myself
Anonymous
Friend setting me up with a woman? 2017-03-31 12:23:25 Post No.18175285
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Friend setting me up with a woman? 2017-03-31 12:23:25 Post No.18175285
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Friend setting me up with a woman?
Anonymous
2017-03-31 12:23:25
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I have no idea what I am doing /adv/.. My friend sent me a picture of a woman the other day. She looks pretty. I like her. She sent me her photo to and I was going to text her..
But what the fuck do I even say? I assuming she probably would want to go on a date too which is fucking terrifying to me. I have been on dates before but with women I go to know more slowly I guess.
With this, I am presuming she will want to date pronto. She went to my friend looking for dudes to date and he thought I would match well for her.
I am worried out of my brain. I have no idea what I am doing. Could I get ANY POINTERS in this type of dating? She and I both know what each other look like.
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I need help pronto because I am super lost with this kind of stuff and now my brain is shifting into that weird worry zone.
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Just go and have fun, don't overthink it. You're just trying to get to know them.
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>>18175285
Step 1: Go out with them
Step 2: Treat this like you're meeting a complete and total strange dude or something for the first time, not like you're going on a date
Step 3: Ask them about themselves
Step 4: Have alcohol if available/legal(Not enough to get drunk, just enough so you're not a nervous wreck. You can even make this step 0 but i'd advise against it)
Hey guys, I just got cum in my eye. I've read that this can cause STDs. The thing is,
>it was my own cum
>I didn't feel much pain, my eye is just slightly closed and red
I don't think much got into my eye, I just want to make sure.
TLDR: Can I get an STD from getting my own cum in my eye?
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>>18175270
What are you, twelve?
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If you're not a virgin and didn't check'd yourself before you wreck'd yourself, probably.
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It's likely
Anonymous
Why does it take so long..... 2017-03-31 12:12:26 Post No.18175269
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Why does it take so long..... 2017-03-31 12:12:26 Post No.18175269
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Why does it take so long.....
Anonymous
2017-03-31 12:12:26
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Why do i feel so pressured when i'm walking a long vertical street,i just start to have a mini panic on where to look and not to look like a creep.How can i fix my anxiety?
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Stop masturbating
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>>18175269
just stare at your phone like everyone else and occasionally glance to make sure you dont hit something/ miss qt's starin
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>>18175269
You're a fucking basketcase, if walking down a street makes you panic. Go see a shrink.
A related question: Why is this age spewing out masses of neurotic messes like this?
Anonymous
How do I stop feeling insecure to my peers? 2017-03-31 12:10:48 Post No.18175260
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How do I stop feeling insecure to my peers? 2017-03-31 12:10:48 Post No.18175260
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How do I stop feeling insecure to my peers?
Anonymous
2017-03-31 12:10:48
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All my elite private school classmates went to Harvard, Stanford, MIT, etc. and are either working elite consulting/banking jobs or on their way to becoming doctor.
I went to an "above-average" school, and now work a "slightly above average" job that sucks monkey tits.
I have had a chip on my shoulder since those college admissions letters came out 8 years ago and it's eating at me every time a Facebook friend takes a selfie of their dope San Francisco apartment or vacationing with their high salaries or just being upper class, preppy, well off and set for life
Over the past two months I have mentally checked out at work, I stopped going to club sports practices, and i stay in on the weekends, I don't even play video games or watch porn, I just sit in my tub and stare at the ceiling, drink a beer and recount all my failures and insecurities throughout my life
People always say "money and prestige isn't everything mang" and then proceed to go "ooooooohh aaahhhh" at the people who actually have the money and prestige so I discount their advice.
I'm becoming very bitter and nihilistic. I really wish I could go to sleep and just never wake up since I don't have the balls to actually kill myself
What do
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That's why I just dropped out of high school and became a NEET instead of dealing with that inevitable shit.
You make enough money to attract women and have children at least, that's the only thing bothers me that I can't do. Unfortunately she might cheat on you, divorce you, and take your kids and half your money. That's why I just never even tried anyway, I have no other reason to care about making money.
You're a failed normalfag.
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>>18175281
Eat shit you fucking leech.
>>18175260
OP it sounds exactly like you're having a mid life crisis. Tell me, is this entirely about you feeling like you can't show off enough on facebook or is there something more you feel like your missing out on?
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>>18175260
sounds like you hang out with shit people m8.
Also I laugh at your attentionwhoring ways and how you've failed.
>see old cute friend at grocery store, exchange contact info and hit her up a few days later
>no response
>"oh well, her loss, onto the next!"
>cute girl on snapchat i havent seen in a while hits me up and says she misses me, we arrange a date and exchange contact info
>never responds to first text message
>"ha, well her loss, onto the next!"
>see classmate from previous semester in the halls, she gives me a hug and says she hasn't seen me forever and says we should hang out sometime, exchange contact info
>never responds to the first message
>"well..yeah...her loss. to the next one!"
>meet up with hot girl from tinder
>first date goes good, only awkward for first 5 minutes but then she doesn't shut up the rest of the date
>texts me afterwards and says she wants to see me on Thursday
>message her on Thursday, no response
>"i..uh...well...her loss..."
>meet cute girl at a show
>end up talking the whole show, pussied out in giving her my number but she came up to me when i was going to my car and we talked some more, got her number then
>talk for a little bit then after 3 days says she just got out of a long relationship and was sorry to lead me on
>"ok..well...the loss..hers..."
>roommate brings cute friend over
>talk a lot, have a lot in common, she asks for my number, adds me on instagram and facebook in the next few days
>after talking for a while she says she just got out of a 4 year relationship and isn't looking for anything right now, and even if she was she is leaving to go to school in a month
>"...."
WHAT THE FUCK HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO STAY POSITIVE AND BUILD INNER CONFIDENCE WHEN MY SUCCESS RATE IS PRACTICALLY FUCKING 0
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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>>18175240
Are you ugly as fuck or something? Fat?
If no, then I guess there must be an universal reason why you didn't got with them OP, don't be so pessimistic.
Who knows if one of those girls would make your life worse than it already is now, since some guys would love to be single again and I know the single anons hate them.
I'm really sure your ideal girl might come on later, you will not expect it but it will happen, since I'm sure you're around your early 20's.
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>>18175283
No I'm not ugly and I'm not fat. And yeah, I'm trying really hard to just remain positive and not let this affect me but its getting really hard when I'm failing so much so often.
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>>18175240
Apply logic to your own greentext. I can easily identify the problem from it.
>Girls engage you first.
>They lose interest after talking with you the next day.
The problem lies in your texting. You're probably sounding needy, desperate, or lame. Work on all three. Don't even hint at any type of relationship when you're talking to someone new. Someone who looks for a relationship in every possible romantic connection is a walking red flag.