Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 199. page

>>18701897
>Gf is a college student who has gotten pretty busy lately

That's code for fucking around. This coming from a guy that did mechanical engineering. College is fucking easy.

>>18701900
I'm not too worried about that. She has proven herself to be extremely faithful and is transparent about her business.

>>18701903
Your feelings are valid, dude. You just have to think about whether or not it's worth it.

As someone who survived a long distance relationship with a girl through college (we went to schools states apart), only you know the answer to whether or not it was worth it. If you've got yourself a good girl that you can trust, keep her and hold on tight buddy.

A lot of anons on here are bitter and projecting their own desires and insecurities onto their partners, which is why you get guys like >>18701900 shitting up your thread.

Currently married to my doctor wife and we both make six figures. Life is good anon, if you stick it out and support each other.

>>18701877

IRL. Duh.

Online don't mean jack shit.

Even if you ever DO meet online girl, there's a decent chance that whatever you think you have online, does not translate to IRL.

>>18701879
What do I tell online grill How would I explain to IRL girl that I'm texting a girl in another city?

>>18701877
Pick one. If either finds out about the other, you'll lose both or determine anyone who stays isn't valuable.

>>18701876
You just let yourself suffer, I speak from experience, trying to fight your feelings only gives you more negativity to combat.
It sucks dude, it really sucks and that's okay, don't run away from that, face your pain, you will come out stronger for it, and now you know she's someone you couldn't have trusted in the long term. In my case, telling my ex not to contact me again and thankfully moving to another city for university helped me a ton, it'll still be a dull pain ocassionally, but time heals, and eventually you'll die and not have to deal with any of it.

Tell her, "as much as I appreciate the invitation to be apart of your life, being real with myself, it's better if I go down a different path. I wish you the best."

Then get your thoughts together.
>you got reminded of the good times with her by meeting, and that has overwhelmed your perspective on what you use to have.

> I never understand when people get hung up on the relationship after it has ended. It didn't work out. Staying hung up on the idea of, 'what if it did or what we be doing right now' only causes undue suffering. What's the point in thinking about stuff like that? It's not going to happen.

>>18701876
>I went to a party of my college with some friends to see if I can get over. I ended up not making out with anyone.
Bad move, you should take a rest from
anything romantic related, give yourself a time to heal, avoid things that might trigger thoughts about her.
>She even came to me on FB to ask me if I was ok and saying she wants me to be part of her new, happier life.
Just don't, do what the other anons said, and completely block her from your life, she will do no good to you.

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>>18701833
Chat her up as the class is ending.

You don't unless you're chad thunder cock and to be a chaddie you have to be born one and from the sounds of it you're shit outta luck. I'm sorry bro but that's the truth.

And before anyone one lies to you when they say "just man up" and "be confident" this is exactly as if they were telling you to "go ask for the manager, give them a nice firm handshake and get the job". The advice, while well intentioned is pathetically out of date.

>>18701844
Nah chad is a mindset, you're just permanent betafag soz.

I'm your typical 4chan loser, sits at home and does nothing but shitpost, goes to work. I had no business being in a chad lifestyle, but for 3 months, I was. The story goes, I bought a rustbucket car with no experience working on them, and for that 3 month period I went nuts trying to fix it up. I had to work myself up into this uber-confident, motivated, OPTIMISTIC, driving persona in order to get people to help me.... part of this was sex life. I had the most sex I've ever had in that 3 months. I'm went back to being a fucking loser, but those 3 months were golden...

People say 'just man up', but you don't get what it means to do that correctly. It's not being more macho, it's putting your nuts to the grindstone doing what you love, and not giving a shit about the haters. You know how many naysayers were telling me I'd fail in fixing that car in 3 months to drive it halfway across America? Literally everyone I knew. Everyone. Friends, family, coworkers, strangers, everyone. But I told them 'nah, I got this' and told all the girls I met about my crazy ambition and my crazy lifestyle and boom. I'm not that attractive, just a bit fit and confident and motivated. And now I'm single >tfwnogf, craving that time of my life again (I'll likely never have that again)

I hate to say this, but you'll have a much better reception on /r/personal finance or /r/legaladvice than on here. Those people are more likely to have done their research or be well- versed about situations similar to your own. That being said

>Can I remove the original tenant (my ex) from the lease?
No, you're listed as I'm paying. It would have to be agreed upon.

>If the original tenant decides he wants to end the lease, am I able to renew it?
You MIGHT be able to renew the lease if the building managers are okay with your lack of income.

>Will we be evicted if we are both unemployed but are able to pay all rent and bills?
This is hard to say, it's kind of subjective depending on what the building protocols are. A lot of apartments require some type of employment so that there is a mild guarantee that payment can be made. However, some apartment managers are very lacks with this type of protocol and as long as you have the money they don't care - but this is an unlikely circumstance.

>Can "secondary" tenants be held accountable for bills once the primary tenant has abandoned?
>yes, of course. Apartment managers don't care WHO is living in their apartment for the most part, they care about the PAYMENT for the apartment. If you're living in the building, someone needs to be paying or there's no exchange of "goods" and this no reason for the manager to continue to let you live there.

>Is any of what my ex is doing illegal?
No, not really. Your ex can leave the place and still pay the bills OR leave and claim that there are two people living there who are on the lease who will cover the bills. His most likely course of action is to take his shit, remove himself from the lease and be done with it.

>>18701825
>currently my ex screwed us over AFTER we both moved in with him. (I can't go into detail)

whatever this is it will explain the root of the problem and addressing it will resolve your current problem better than perpetuating the drama that is now playing out.

>>18701887
I can't fucking format on a phone. FML.

>>18701801

>fapping eleven times a day

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ut-fJCc0zS4

Masturbation more than once a day is bad for one's health. Been there done that. But sexual activity once a week is actually healthy. (Also means grabbing your dick and looking at titties)
Take care of your health anon

The general rule of thumb is TWICE A DAY MAX , however I've been known to pound my pork around three to five times a day on occasion. But once every 30 min- 1 hr , not so sure about that .

>>18701745
Let your experience be your guide.

>>18701745
Therapists are only a tool to help you know were do your problems come from and solve them.
Do work on your emotions, or try to see where does your suicidal thought come from, or what wrong with your life ? That's what therapist are supposed to help you do.

>>18701745
Start drinking water, eating fruits and taking multivitamins, exercising every day, taking an antidepressant (small dosage Lexapro is very good), stop doing drugs besides occasional alcohol, start going to church and reading verse once in a while, read books, and try to find a good looking girl to take on dates when youre free.
You'll feel better in no time.

>>18701733
Yeah, date.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

There's someone out there looking for the exact same shit you are, but they're gonna be fuckin hard to find. Girls your age generally just want to do degenerate shit.

I'd say keep looking, but also be cautious. I was just like you and I met someone similar when I was 20. We broke up when she realized she missed out on her party whore years and decided to live them when we were 25. Don't let that discourage you, everyone is different, but these years can be really weird.

>>18701733
>19
>have your shit together

Im not saying you arent doing well. But in 11 years youll be my age and youll know exactly how hilariously wrong you are.
Its relevant Because your brain is literally still developing and will until youre 25 and you wont be even close to the same human being by then you are now. A lot can change in that time.

Finding some life partner to give your all to at this age is unrealistic and inadvisable. It works for some but in general its not a great idea.

By all means date, love and experience, find out what you really want, find out what negative qualities are impossible for you to deal with (any partner will.be fucked up somehow. Its a question if theyre fucked up the wrong way for you.) and which qualities empower and compliment you.

Anyways

I have been in 4 relationships. 2 ltr, and 2 friendships that blossomed into romances and ended on really good terms because our goals didnt line up so i like to think i have some perspective.

Love does not happen because you did the math and decided what a perfect girl is. Looking for superficial qualities and having "high standards" leads literally nowhere. Its a good way to become infatuated, have a great honeymoon, then find out you were totally wrong and your partner is a total fuck nut but have a hard time leaving because you were "so sure" this was the one.

Love comes from time together, mutual experience and bonding, and chemistry between your personalities. How your positives and negatives interact.

So anyones approach imo is meet people. Interact. If you seem to get along with a girl and you can talk like youre friends instead of forcing small talk and questions, ask her out. If there is sexual tension, have sex with her, then if she sticks around and you want to stay around to, then youve formed a relationship, and it happened organically. No assessing of qualities or overthinking required

My hypothesis for time beginning to pass more quickly as you age comes mainly from your memory worsening.

So, from my point of view, you probably can't unless you just make lots of memories.

>>18701689
I'm 29 and I know what you're feeling.
The only thing that I feel that would make me slow down and relish what I have is if I fucking made something of myself and had a real career.
I don't, so I feel like shit.
But if I did, then jeez, I could be happy and then even want the future to hurry up and exist.

>>18701752

I have a decent career with a lot of move for advancement. I have a beautiful girlfriend that I'm in love with and I still feel this way. I'm generally a happy person as well, but this is the first time this has happened. I'm just not sure how to snap out of this and get busy living and less time focusing on my days evaporating quickly before me.

>>18701682

I will say, after graduation, when she was job hunting should would sleep from 4:00 AM to 3:00 PM.

>>18701682
Starting a new job can be exhausting.

>>18701682
I'll bet she works with kids.

>>18701675
Step 1: Admit that you are not in control.
Step 2: Realize that it's not your fault.

>>18701675
Go to a therapist who doesn't use medication.
Learn about psychology and philosophy
Take care of yourself
Work on your self-esteem
Look up meditation and acceptation
Don't try to be happy, try to be at peace with yourself and your past and others and then happiness will come
Talk to yourself and act with yourself like would be for your best friend
Go out and meet people

Killing yourself is not worth it. You can still have a good life.

>>18701716
How am I not in control? All the bad decisions I've made have been my own.

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>>18701649
Are you making the mistake of trying to be friends with women?

You just haven't met the right woman.
or you are simply looking in the wrong places.

t. basement dweller

>>18701622
As with any move, getting a job there is the best way. Then the employer will help you get a work permit.

>>18701622
do you plan on being involved in your son's life?

>>18701633
I've weighed pros and cons. He's my son and I love him more than life itself.

My wife (now ex) has moved to a different state but I have visitation and he's to come visit me on holidays. This was ordered by the court.

A little background: The reason for the divorce was that it was a loveless marriage, no adultery, domestic violence, alcoholism, etc etc.

She just didn't love me anymore but wanted to stay with me for convenience. That was unacceptable to me so I filed for divorce. I didn't want to be with someone who didn't love me, plain and simple.

>>18701583
just pull the 24 hour day, start chugging coffee.

If you have to drive to school, pretty fucked, maybe just call in sick.

Otherwise, rest if you can (lights out, stay away from the screen, if you can't sleep maybe read, listen to music, or meditate) until it's time to get going, cold shower plus caffeine through the day and you'll probably manage.

One night of little/no sleep is shitty but manageable.

Some weird shit is going down too.
Not sure if it's an affect of the medication though. Im hearing a goose, one lonely goose, honking very close to my home. Seconds later, what i swear is the sound of a shotgun is audible from outside my window. After that, im starting to hear footsteps in my home. Now, im starting to hear the goose again.
Im starting to get really spooked here. I know that its pretty unnatural for geese to travel alone, but that doesnt worry me too much. What is getting to me is the footsteps and the shotgun blast. I live in a quiet town, where no one ever hears stuff like that. I need help.

>>18701582
tends to be different for everyone on the micro but on the macro: therapy, exercise, healthier diet (eat the rainbow, get your macros in).

GOT DEPRESSION?
1. SUNLIGHT
2. EXERCISE
3. SOCIAL INTERACTION
4. HEALTHY DIET
CURED!

is it possible to lead a normal life with

-ADHD
-SCT
-depression
-anxiety