I am a new father and my baby is 7 months old. So far i have no feelings for him, he annoys the ever living fuck out of me and takes up every second of my time. I thought marriage was a bad enough life, this is living hell every second. Will it ever get better or should i just blow my brains out and leave a fat health insurance collection for my wife and kid? pic unrelated.
>>18191436
Kinda mean to the kid to anhero. Have you seen the statistics for children raised by single mothers? You're basically condemning it to a life of misery.
A bad father is leaps and bounds ahead of no father at all. If you don't give a shit at least you'll make more time for yourself.
are you the anon that wants to kill his dog? if so, this might be a good moment to seek professional help. you seem overwhelmed by the situation (which is understandable, it is a huge chance to have a baby) and it sounds like you desperately need someone to help you cope.
Babies are boring until ~18 months, after that they become much more interactive
My bicycle got stolen a while ago.
I just found it again locked to another bicycle. It's been at the same spot for over two weeks now and the police don't want to help me get it back by lack of proof that it's mine.
Any ideas how to open it without being noticed too much?
Pic related
Use a bolt cutter crack it and if anybody asks just say you lost the key.
Wait for the person who stole it to come out and kick their teeth in
>>18191333
borrow angle grinder with battery and just cut it off. It will take you about 3 minutes. You will make some noise though.
remember about eye protection
How do I make peace with the fact that my parents are going to die not knowing any children from me?
For various reasons, I'm not getting married, i don't want children and I don't want to be involved with any woman long-term.
But I'm lucky to have parents who were good to me. I'm conflicted in that I'm really averse to having a family and I'd definitely treat my would-be-wife like shit/ ignore her completely, but my mum and das made a lot of sacrifices to give me love and a good life and I feel that I'd be turning my back on them if I decided to /bachelor for my whole life.
My parents haven't put any pressure on me finding a woman and always tell me "do what you want we just want you to be successful" but I have a gut feeling that they secretly want me to continue the family name and give them grandkids. I'll feel guilty if the day comes where my dad lays on his deathbed and wonders if his legacy will live on.
I flirt with the idea of finding a girl to settle down with and have children solely to make my parents happy but the kids would probably resent me and the wife would cheat on me if I didn't first anyways so I don't want to have a dysfunctional family
What do
>>18191293
Feel you on this, parents want me to have bunch of kids for them and find myself a husband but enjoy being alone too much to want to, but I decided that being upfront and just telling them how you feel is best. Why would you want to make yourself, your children and your wife suffer being in something that clearly isn't for you? It's awful and I empathize on this but in the end you should do what is best for your life, not there's. Even if it may hurt them.
>>18191293
Your purpose is to have kids. It is easier to do so when you are attractive young man than when you are old balding fat guy.
Stop overthinking problems and start with finding girl with good life values you are compatible with.
>I don't want to have dysfunctional family
Then be good father / husband and treat your wife with respect and expect nothing less than that in return. With a bit of luck and skill it is not that hard. Never take your partner for granted.
>>>/online dating/
>>>/social events you hate/
>>>/friend's friends who know qties/
>>18191327
Their's*, lord
So I've been working on my marriage with my wife and noticed that for the past week she had been acting strange. Distant. Today i find out that shes been skipping her appointments with her theripist. Should i be suspicious or am I just looking for reasons to be pissed?
Cheating.
>>18191237
>Cheating.
Im so tired.I dont even know why i punish myself.
>>18191237
I would start by asking her, not speculating on 4chan.
So I need confidence and self esteem in order to make friends, but I can only have that if I have love/belonging first. How do I get that? I guess most people get that from their family, but I can't get that from mine.
This is a good question I can't answer because we're in the same search. Looking at that, I only have the physiological means currently and have only had that and now, at 25, it explains why it's hard to just function like a normal person.
>>18191224
Looking at this depresses me. Is it normal to go your entire life without making out of the bottom tier?
>this thread...
As an EU citizen; I can study in Germany or the Netherlands for near zero tuition fees. I'm stuck between the two however. Later in life I would like to live in Switzerland and in Switzerland they speak predominantly a dialect of German.
The Netherlands has a 90% English fluency whilst Germany is 70%. Many courses in the Netherlands are taught in English whilst in Germany there are very few taught in English.
I'm leaning towards the Netherlands because of its low cost of living, high English fluency and exemplary universities. I can learn German on the side as well. Does /adv/ have any information that I've missed out?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EF_English_Proficiency_Index
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_English-speaking_population
>>18191137
99% of undergrad degrees are in the local language
>>18191137
What country do you come from?
>>18191137
Don't study in Germany. Universities in the middle east are no good.
Theres a tuition assistance program for my college through my job. The way it works is I complete a course, pay the school, and the company reimburses me. If you were to take classes one semester, but then submit an application saying you took them the next semester, even though you didn't, would that be illegal? I paid for and passed the classes (which are the requirements for reimbursement), I just don't want to get banned from this service, or worse.
I live in US.
Bump, anyone know?
>>18191086
>knowingly submit wrong documentation
it's called fraud
>>18191086
Why wouldn't you just put the correct semester dates on the application?
How to deal with a breakup?
I just broke up with my gf an hour ago. Shes clincally depressed and I guess I've been causing her more stress.
She said that she cant do this relationship anymore. I guess its just too stressful for her. We tried to be friends but we just ended up being together anyways. So she told me she doesnt want me in her life anymore. She told me that she still loves me. She told me that theres no guarantee that this is the end and that maybe we can be together in the future. She told me that she would text me if she ever changed her mind. When we said goodbye I told her "See you later" and she said "Hopefully"
I'm so confused on what to do. I want to see her. If she still loves me why did it end up like this. Why would she tell me that she doesnt want me in her life but says that she hopes we see each other again? I dont understand and I dont know what to do I feel like I'm going insane. Maybe im being dramatic but I dont know how else to feel.
>>18191083
Sounds like she wants to work on herself [alone] and hopes that one day you two can talk again. For now she needs space to focus, cactus-chan.
Sounds like she found another guy but wants to keep you around incase it dosent work out. My advice would be to move on and ignore her, if she is so "stressed out" by you, then you are doing her a favor.
>>18191094
Maybe so. And maybe I need to work on myself too since I've always relied on her to be happy.
>cheapest studio apartment in Orlando, FL is 775$/month
Help me out guys, I'm trying to get the hell out and be independent but I'm not sure if I could afford this at minimum wage.
Don't work minimum wage then
>>18191029
Alright, yeah, fair enough.
That sucks.
Can you not look for house/flat shares?
So my wife got this girl, we have long talked about it, but my wife was really possessive about the girl and did not event tell me. Eventually she left her boyfriend and now sleep with us. But we agreed that no dicks involved Ie i can do everything to her but fuck her. I have done pretty much every thing else. However the girls usually like to try to fuck each other, and my wife tries to keep me away from the girl, and the girl complains alot if I try to much. That said I fuck my wife on top of the other girl doggy style most nights, while I grab the other girls as and tits or whatever and my wife fingers her.
Am i being cucked, or if my wife being cucked...I think the girl has to make out she does not like me too much sub conciously as my wife would prolly not be able to handle this.
I don't want to put my dick in the girl as this gives my wife the pretext to fuck another guy ....
what would you do...?
also the girl pays rent, cooks cleans and looks after my children a bit, so it like a built in nanny.
>>18190972
Bait.
>>18190991
why, bait?
>>18190993
The ratio of absurdity + meme worlds compared to length of post is too high to be true.
Also what the hell is
>wife got this girl
At supermarket as a slave? As a lover? And
>did not even tell me
All of it doesnt make sence, poor master baiter in training.
How do you folks deal with the fact that you'll never be good enough? I joined the gym around christmas times because I want to get fit, but there is just so much.
There are literally better looking girls everwhere. Running, using the elipticals, lifting weights, etc. They make me feel really insecure about myself. I'm not overweight or anything, but I honestly feel invisible to guys at times. Sure they might smile like once, but then they don't look at all. Idfk, maybe I'm over analyzing.
Even if I become reasonably fit, I'll never have a 9/10+ face. I'll never have big breasts. My other physical imperfections will never be fixed unless I drop thousands upon thousands of $$ on surgery.
I want to feel beautiful and be admired like other women. It just really really sucks.
>>18190965
Wtf kind of body do you think guys want?
As long as you are not fat.Try lowering your expectations. Its easier for girls i feel just treat some guy nice and soon he will fall for you. We guys are simple creatures.
>>18190976
I'm not ... Kek
Something that often bothers me is that I've spent a large portion of my childhood and all of my adult life (I'm 19) alone in my room on the computer but my parents have never seemed concerned about it. Do they just not care? Don't they understand that's incredibly unhealthy behaviour? Why haven't they ever spoken to me about it? Why haven't they ever asked if anything is wrong? Why didn't they try to prevent me from doing it so I'd lead a more normal life? In school I was always a troublemaker, I just wanted to be cool and have friends didn't really care about anything else. Why didn't they ever try to steer me in the right direction? Why didn't they ever voice concern for my behaviour?
I really don't know how to get over this. I cry when I think about it too much. Sometimes when I'm with my dad I'll get angry at him about it but I've no idea how to bring it up. It seems it'd be weird for me to just come out with this shit one day.
How do I get over it?
>inb4: crybaby
I know but I can't get over it
A lot of parents are even malicious but rather simply have no idea how to be parents. Yours sound like they didn't even try though yeah.
I was a complete shut in but my mum would bring it up every few months. I got in fights at school but my dad didn't say shit because he did worse
>>18190909
As long as you recognize your issues now, strive to improve yourself.
>>18190909
Some parents want you to live your own life without interfering too much, if you want your parents to take more of an interest in you then just talk to them about it. If you can see that something in your life is a problem then you should do something to change it, the longer you leave it the worse it will get.
I will preface this by saying that I have tried many hard drugs in the past once or twice just to see, but felt generally unenthused by the results. The closest semblance of addiction I've ever had from any of it was a curious craving to try cocaine once more, which I simply ignored for a couple weeks and it went away.
Anyway, I generally can't stand life and one thing I've found that has helped me along is meditation and reflection. Its always seemed to me that smoking is very much a little break from the world, a quiet step out from people/stress/work etc but reality comes crashing back. I'm sure I'm romanticising it a little but I'd like to explore that a little.
I'm considering 1 smoke a day, with an allowance of 2 in a day if I have had a gap in that week. I eat very well and I exercise every day. The impact on my health, at least sure term, would be completely negligible.
What are your thoughts? Any smokers here? Ex-smokers?
>a quiet step out from people/stress/work
Think of it this way. You may get that bit of a break while smoking but the nicotine withdrawal will make you even more stressed all the time that you are not smoking. A 10 minute reprieval is not worth making the base problem worse 95% of the time.
>>18190858
At best your mouth will smell like shit and you will waste your money for the most artificial dopamine release.
It's real dopamine
Hi guys, I've been seeing this girl, both late 20s, and its been about 3 weeks. We do everything people in relationships do. We talk/text daily, we fuck, we hang out, we go on dates, whenever I stay over we sleep together and cuddle, etc.
Everything sounds great, right? Unfortunately here are the issues. Every time I try to get to know her better (or try to get her to know me better) she cuts me off and says things like "this book is closed for now. its hard to open up to someone new etc." and won't tell me certain things. I explained to her that when she does come around to wanting to share that stuff with me (which at the moment is none of my business as far as im concerned) that I won't judge and don't care because we all have our demons, self included, and she thanked me and said she appreciated it but that she thought I wont be too happy once that book gets opened.
Second issue, she says she explicitly doesn't want a boyfriend, says she is not gf material, and asked that I not wait up for her to be. When I asked why she says she does things and plans to do things that won't work in a relationship such as visiting her ex across the country who is a good friend of hers, or her desire to be a camwhore. Personally I couldn't care less about these things and said as such, but she still is adamant about not wanting a boyfriend, despite us continuing to say and do everything that people in a relationship do. I got really drunk one night and told her how I felt and basically said "if you dont like me, and think I am wasting my time, just break my heart and move on, but if this is just a matter of bad timing (right person wrong time) then I will just deal with it" and she told me she likes me, doesnt think I am wasting my time, but that I shouldnt invest all of myself into her if she were me.
>tl;dr should I continue with this charade of a relationship and just not care about the title? what should I do here?
I really do enjoy her company, the sex is amazing, I literally make her come on command and made her come 8 times in a row when we first fucked, to the point where she whispered that she was low key in love with me, and in general everything has gone well except the definition of our relationship. Haaaalp.
>>18190841
> should I continue with this charade of a relationship and just not care about the title?
That one.
>>18190839
She is either pretending she is special snowflake or she intends on keeping you as her personal fuck boy.
My crystall ball predicts future where you fall in love with her and you will want to make it official, probably with kids marriage combo and she will catch same feeling and you will be lovely couple together. Or she remains cold and break your hearth into milion pieces. It is 50:50 chance.
If you are happy, keep doing what are you doing and remember nothing lasts forever.
I'm 24, she's 21. We've been together for a few months and have opened up about so many things.
BUT
she told me that when she was 20, a 37 year old man successfully got a restraining order against her, and after that she did not give any details.
She will not give any information. I know that the past is the past, but how could this be? Red flag?
>>18190809
Ye pretty much
>>18190809
that's a red flag if i ever saw one. if she is willing to open up about the circumstances of the restraining order, that's one thing, but if she downright refuses to explain to you why she has a withstanding restraining order against a 37 year old man, abandon ship.
>>18190817
I agree, but so far she's been pretty perfect.