Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1924. page

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All of this is incredible and scary and I have no fucking clue.
I found someone who actually loves me, we are compatible in so many ways and he cares about me. The thing is, I am disgustingly obese and I can be incredibly frustrating to deal with. I don't understand it, he's not bad looking or awkward or anything, he has nothing to gain here but me, and apparently that's enough.
I don't understand it, it's fucked up. I absolutely want to improve myself for him, but I can't guarantee that either, and he's also okay with that! How do I deal with that? My brain just can't accept it so I'm afraid I'll sabotage myself or do something stupid...

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My buddy has just turned 20 and is still a virgin. In our group of friends he's the only one still left. He has literally 0 experience with women 100% kissless virgin.

I personally think he should focus on getting a girlfriend to lose it to but my other buddy seems to think he should try to take home a girl from the club to smash but I just don't see it happening.

Even if he manages to bring a girl back how is it going to go since he's a kissless virgin? How will he know what to do? Isn't a club whore going to expect him to know the ropes already?

I'm probably biased because I lost my virginity to my girlfriend who I love and it was everything I could ask for for my first time but I just don't see how a random girl from a club is going to go well.

Obviously it's up to him but do you think I'm giving him the right advice in telling him to wait for a gf?

His concern about waiting for a gf is that, that might take years and there's no harm in trying at the club anyway. I understand what it feels like to be a virgin so late in life and to want to just get sex out the way but I just don't think this is the way for him to do it.

Tl;Dr
Should my buddy (20m) try to lose his virginity to a random girl from the club or wait until he gets a girlfriend?

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Hi. I'm a 19 year old girl and I've always had a very healthy sex drive. I learned about masturbation on my own when I was very young (~4) and after discovering porn in my tween years developed strong sexual urges.

I am still a virgin though, entirely by choice. When it comes down to actually doing lewd stuff in real life, I get nervous, uncomfortable, and sometimes disgusted.

I've been in a serious relationship for two years, and I always fantasize about having sex with my boyfriend and I have made advances on him multiple times (giving him surprise handjobs, teasing him). But when we get in a room one-on-one, I feel so shameful and disgusting when I take my clothes off. I sometimes straight up tell him that he isn't allowed to touch me while I get him off because I feel scared and gross.

Help? I don't really know why I feel this way, but I want it to stop. It makes me feel like I don't love my boyfriend enough because I am disgusted by being touched by him while naked, but I know that when we're both fully clothed and not doing sexual stuff that I want to ravage him. How do I stop feeling this way?

Extra info that might be helpful:
>raised in a religious household, still consider myself religious
>cannot stand dominant males
>cry every time after using my dildo
>had a "relationship" with a 19 year old at age 12 that kind of fucked me up because he was sadistic and emotionally abusive and i was a little kid (I like to feel like I've fully recovered from this, but maybe some remnants of my fear from this time still exist? I hope not)

Thoughts?

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>normally a fairly high energy person
>recently got a full time job
>have a bunch of hobbies
>enjoy studying on my own and had been planning on trying to learn a new language
>except too tired at the end of the work day to do anything but maybe gym for half an hour and watch tv or read
>now understand why dad always used to sleep so much while he was working 40+ hours/week

How do I find energy to do the things I want to do after a long work day? Any tips? I hate feeling like this and want to be able to accomplish things with my free time. It's still a pretty new development in my life to be working this much; is it just something I'll eventually get used to?

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So I finally met a girl through tinder(after getting extremely few matches). At first we really talked a lot, and she texted me on her own. We always had something to say to each other. Shortly after that we had a date and connected even more and she seemed really enthusiastic about about meeting me. By the second date we were holding hands and hugging, and on the fourth we kissed on the lips. However after that she constantly said that we couldn't meet and started to text me much less, and we had much less conversation in general. After a month we met again. It seemed like it was back to normal, and we kissed again(still only on the lips). But these days she ghosting me again and seems overall colder than in our first dates. I text her first 90% of the time and most of her answers are one liners. Im afraid that she doesn't want to date me anymore and has lost interest but I'm not sure. She is usually very busy in college and works, so it may be that, but I can't help but worry that I appeared as too clingy before her. What should I do. I don't feel like trying to find another girl because I've had so many bad experiences and been rejected so many times, and she's one of the few that I have had more than vapid small talk with. I simply have no more energy to look for other girls.

pic unrelated

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Which section of 4 chan would be best to talk about anime youtubers?

Whenever I see a thread on such topic on /a/ it gets shot down quickly.

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Just found pics of my gf on /r/gonewild from the time when we were together, how do I go about confronting her and what not about this? What do?

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I never, ever come to /adv/, but I'm in a moral conundrum that's really confusing me.

I was on-and-off with the girl of my dreams for the past year, let's call her Em. I was so unbelievably attracted to every single aspect about her, and she told me that she felt the same for me. The problem was, she was really bad at communicating. We're both in college, but she's an athlete, so she's really busy. I tried my best to change for her, and to support her as much as I could, and to work around her schedule, but she never really made an effort to make time for me. When we did hang out, it was amazing. We could laugh, and be serious, and we could just stare into each others eyes for hours on end. The sex was great, we had a really good connection, all her friends loved me, and she told me all the time how much she appreciated my support. But we just couldn't spend enough time together, and it was basically like we had a long distance relationship even though we lived 10 minutes away. The worst part was, her defense was just that she didn't have time, which I gave her the benefit of the doubt, but her three teammate roommates all have working relationships. If she really wanted to make our relationship work, she could have.

So I had to let Em go. And it sucked because I did everything that I thought would be result in her appreciating me enough to really try and reciprocate, but she never did. This was last fall.

Around the time after we broke up, before college winter break, I met this new girl, let's call her Daisy. She's really into me, she's a sweetheart, and she really cares. I'm attracted to her, but not as much. We just don't have that same connection that me and Em have. Our sex is great, but Daisy is really horny, and sometimes it's burdensome when I just want to hang out. I've taken her out, and she's met my friends, but I wouldn't say we're dating, more like advanced hooking-up.

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I think my feelings have eroded? Today, the weather was nice. People were out and about having fun in the sun and all I could think about was hoping the blistering cold would come back or the freezing rains would wash this day away.

Then I thought more about my other emotions. I feel as if I am not good enough to have intimacy. I will admit, I have never been intimate with anyone and I feel like my brain physically cannot fathom or handle such a thing. I am not saying I don't feel at all but I just feel like I am coasting through life. I have like no desire to go, to do, or to see anything. I am not suicidal but my life seems incredibly dull.

How the fuck do people wake up every morning and not just want it to rain all day and stay inside? I have such a horrific time getting out of bed even after 8 hours sleep. Every morning I contemplate calling out of work sick even though I am not sick.

I will never understand how people can be so fucking chipper and happy? What is missing from my life?

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How do people on here feel about flirting with other people while in a relationship, but not because you are looking to cheat?

In other words, you are flirting with someone else to make them attracted to you and nothing more. I feel like I'm addicted to being desired, but I am also in a relationship with a girl I love and have no desire to cheat on her. I just like feeling like women art attracted to me. Thoughts?

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I really need some advice. I met gorgeous girl playing DOTA 2 (I know right) and we hit it off. I friended her and then we started skyping (She lives in california, and I live in maryland). At the time I was going through a lot of mental shit and she listened to me talk for hours about my problems and was really supportive and kind. She had just got out of a long term relationship with a man she thought she was going to marry (He cheated on her after proposing), and I let her talk to me about that and we bonded over our mutual displeasure with the way life is going. It's been a bit more then a month of talking and she suddenly confessed that she has fallen madly in love with me. She wants to start a long distance relationship with me and then in about 4 months come live near me while I finish my undergraduate (She's 26, I'm 20). I said I really needed some time to think about it and didn't give her an exact answer. I have this feeling in the back of my mind that this may end up being a terrible decision (less for me and more for her, since she's the one who would leave her home), but I also enjoy talking to her so much and think I may be falling in love as well. She's funny, smart, down to earth, gorgeous and we connect on the same wavelength; if this girl lived closer to me and the age difference wasn't so much, I wouldn't be asking you guys for advice, I would go out with her in a heartbeat. That being said, I'm not dumb and I see how someone could think that she sounds absolutely insane but my brain is telling me go for it. Please help me figure this shit out.

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So, Christmas 2015 my girlfriend died. She took my virginity, she was my first love, and she made me happier than I'd ever been. Despite her problems, which were many, I had the time of my life with her. She was a heroin addict, I told her if she ever used again I'd break up with her.

After a few months pass, she tells me she loves me. I feel the same. 9 months down the road, we're using pain pills together. I hadn't been able to make her cum, and I'd heard her mention that opiates make her really horny. I can finally do it for her, and it feels great that I can. It was real, I know it. Anyway, the pills become harder to find and expensive, so fuck it, call the dealer. This was the beginning of the end, little did I know. We both became junkies, and she finally told me that she was using at the start, and that's why she didn't want me to come over sometimes, she was afraid I'd find out. Months down that road, we both agree that we can't keep living like this, it's tearing us apart and causing us both stress we don't need. Even though we did both become more passionate for each other as a side effect. So we wean down. Eventually, we don't get sick any more. Anyway, Christmas comes. We scrape up 30 bucks and go to the dealer. We shoot up together. I wake up. She doesn't. I couldn't get her to the hospital in time.

It's been over a year now, and I still think of her. We knew everything about eachother. We knew what we were thinking without speaking. And when I stared into her eyes, it was like all my problems didn't matter. I know there's some nostalgia goggles factor, but I really was happier than I'd ever been my whole life. We never lost our passion, it only grew stronger as time went on. But I can't stop worrying that I'll never feel that again. And if that's the case, what's the point of living? Everything is so empty now. I can't stand it. She was a 10/10 in every aspect. Body, face, personality...Will I ever heal from this? Pic related. It was us.

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Summer 2016 ---> 2nd best friend had this girlfriend. She was kinda cute and also into me. Did not make a move though (bromance). I came back in the States in September. She and friend broke up in February 2017. I DM'ed her on facebook and supported her even though she didn't really seem to be upset. We have been romantically talking ever since and like each other (SIDE NOTE: I'll be going back in my homeland for the summer). We both know that we are basically going to be hooking up during my time being home.

Questions I have for /adv/ are as followed:

>I am really the all-in kind of guy and will probably develop feelings for her. This makes me believe I will fall into a depression once I come back in the US? Any advice? What should I do?

>Should I let my best friend, her ex, know something is up with this girl and me?

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I'm 21 and have only ever been to a bar once, with friends from out of state who ordered drinks for me (I don't even know how to do that) and I remember guys approaching me when I was alone. That really felt good and call me a slut, but I haven't had sex in a year and I figured going to a bar or club would help, but I don't really have any friends to go with.

How can I make guys want to approach me? How do I deal if no one does? I consider myself decently attractive. Is it strange for a female to go alone?

I don't like clubs with dancing and I'm pretty introverted.

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How do I start mindfuly meditating? I don't want to be on some beginner course/app, I just want to jump right into it.

I've tried it a few times. Are you just supposed to focus on your breath and try to think of nothin?