Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1858. page

>>18237462

Why not learn from her?

I think this is an issue some guys have, they feel they need to be the expert or authority on a subject.

But I think it would be a lot more romantic to acquire that knowledge while you're with her, rather than finding it on your own to feel like you can keep up with her.

>>18237466
I asked her about it, and she didn't really feel comfortable trying to teach it, apart from the recommended list given.
I'm absolutely on-board with that notion, but I would still like at least some basic understanding- to better understand what she's throwing at me.

>>18237462
In Jazz you need to appreciate mood and improv.
The mood is the feeling that the piece gives off. Moods can be very different, ranging from calm and relaxing to very fast and exciting.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqoB5m6CjqI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVbTTmEmDxY
Improv is just the individual skill of the player and is what makes jazz, jazz. This is what most jazz players look for when listening.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mL-LyKcFE5c
If you appreciate both those aspects then it'll be bery easy to listen to any sort of jazz, though getting started I'd pick and instrument that you like (like sax) and listen to the best sax players. From there it'll be easy to branch out.

>>18237456
Why do you find most women boring?

>>18237457 brings a good question

and you get a girlfriend by bringing yourself to social situations and meeting girls until you find one you would like to get to know better

>>18237457
>>18237467
They always talk abiut inane shit and it bores me to death. If they have a good personality I can look past it and just bants them but that isn't very common.

you're not being good to yourself
lighten up and start treating yourself right

you can start by flushing out the negative
and then composing yourself by doing things that are good for who you are now

>>18237463
It used to not bother me when I made mistakes but recently they just seem so frequent and severe that I can't not hate myself for making them. Especially things that affect my academics or work life. I feel like if I lighten up it'll just pave the way to failure.

It isn't always that I feel so negative, but this last example was just tonight and I fear continuing to fuck myself over

>>18237476
so you fucked up tonight and have in the past
you don't do yourself any favours kicking yourself for making mistakes
abusing yourself encourages the opposite of growth
you reinforce negative feedback loops and end up more stuck than you were before

but you don't have to worry about being perfect to alleviate your mental torture
just start easing up on yourself when you find yourself being critical of something you're doing
the mind is not perfect
and needs to be trained sometimes
especially after it's been treated poorly for a while

so be good to yourself
and put yourself in an environment that will allow you to go easier on yourself
ask for help and understand and respect your limits
you have to build up by doing good by who you are now to be someone you'd want to be in the future

>>18237440
If either one of you doesn't see the relationship as being worth enduring opposition from her parents, don't pursue it. If being with each other was that important to you, you would be together despite what they think, or you would work to change their opinions and convince them that you're serious this time.

If you're young enough that your parents matter, then your relationship doesn't matter

Remember when you were "girlfriends and boyfriends" with a girl in the 3rd grade?

Yeah, the exact same thing is happening now. It doesn't matter

if you two are letting her parents stop you from being together then it's your own fault
you need to understand your priorities to accept the reality you live in

are her parents' wishes that important to both of you to the point where it outweighs having a relationship?

I'm ugly and girls don't like me you can fuck me problem solved

>>18237383
Stop your making me wet

>>18237384
I'm smart too

?? = 14

bby come over

>>18237309
Hit the gym, negro

If you look like a limb dicked faggot who couldn't defend himself from an attack by a seagull, who is going to respect him

Get big
Then it doesn't matter how you feel
People will respect you

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>>18237309
https://m.youtube.com/watch?list=PLFfM65xLnO-GGdbO5yYuQvaKOhG6j1Ih7&v=Bsyplaii9p4

I believe you should give yourself a reason to like yourself. It could be things like your accomplishments, physical looks or even things you own. If you have none of those things, then there's always what you're good at; What separates you from everyone else. You'll attract people who are also good at what you do, and from there, just build a foundation of Self Esteem.

>>18237288
how old are you and what state do you live in? you might be able to get a license without the waiting period. I know I delayed mine until I was 20 in florida and was able to get the permit and license in the same day, also the driving test was easy as piss because we never left the parking lot.

>>18237292
22, Alabama.

I'm steadily learning but not at all confident I can drive on my own right now though.

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bump

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>>18237242
These guys I picked straight out of cow shit. But I'm not sure. Also some of them looks a little too black like they are rotting. Especially the top one

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>>18237254
Here's another picture. Are these rotting? Should I throw them out?

I done some mushroom hunting before. You should be more cautious when picking your mushroom, i.e. more confident in what you pick is not going to kill you. Anyways first I doubt they are psychedelic, but I'm sure. Second check /out/ for a mushroom thread, they will be more useful.

>>18237218
Practice practice practice

Humour is based on judging a scenario, knowing the response, then subverting it unexpectedly
That's what humour is
You need experience/empathy to know what's expected .

If you can be funny, you can be social.

>>18237248
how do i practice? i don't have friends in the first place to talk to

>>18237259
Watch other people
Without being autistic about it

Also, try to write with some sense of decorum
If you can't press shift every once and a while, how can I trust you to shower and shave every day?

>>18237215
That's hot.

>>18237215
If can happen

>>18237220
Yeah but what steps do I take?

Some extra info, I'm half Hispanic and can't pass for white, but I'm not interested in tricking the girl anyway

>>18237185
>The same shit but without inviting other friends along?
Basically.
>That sounds kinda lame.
Well she's not going to suck your dick with all your friends sitting right there, is she?

Just take her some place nice that she'll enjoy. It's not tough.

>Whose bluff has been called

What bluff? Why are you acting as if this is a game of poker? You said you would do something, you did it, and now it's time to capitalize. Slowly establish a more intimate relationship i.e. be more physical, touchy. Smash that friend barrier with something more significant and relevant to your endeavor

>>18237228
The bluff is that I'm confident and know what I'm doing lol

Thank you for the advice though, it is appreciated

i wouldn't fucking care. it's none of my business

I would be worried about them, because there's always some danger in that biz.

But I ratted on a dude selling aderoll in high school.

>"you too?"

>>18237121

You've got to ignore the pressure and just look at how much having kids tanks your life. Once you have kids, your life basically isn't yours anymore, it's theirs. For me, it's easy to look over at my exhausted coworkers, who can't do anything after work, who can't do anything during the weekend, who slam cup after cup of coffee to stay halfway alert to not want to have kids and be able to drown out the people pressuring me.

Lots (if not most) of people will pressure the kids thing because they're jealous of what you have - your freedom and independence. They'll claim you don't know what real life is like, or what real stress is, because you don't have kids, and will insist it's the best thing that ever happened to them because if they say that it isn't... they'll be told that they're horrible people. Very few people are honest.

I know this was very negative - but only have kids if YOU want them. Kids can be great. I very much respect well prepared parents who want to have kids and nurture them and build our future. I do NOT respect parents or people who bully or pressure people into having kids because of shit like /pol/ or because they're unhappy in their own lives and want to see someone else miserable.

I'm not pressured about kids at all. I couldn't care less about them. I will never have kids.

But I do feel incredible pressure that I'm suppose to have a girlfriend, or be going out and hooking up with lots of girls. I don't do either of those things. But I feel IMMENSE pressure that I'm suppose to be doing that. I feel like I'm doing something wrong

Sometimes I wonder if those who pressure you are miserable and want you to be miserable too. My example is the people in my life who always ask me if I'm married and have kids are married and have kids, and they all complain exactly the same way about their wives nagging all the time and their kids never letting them sleep. Some even go as far to say "Someday I'm gonna dump her".

I just don't see how they can sell me this product called "Marriage" if there's no one I know available to show me it's worth it, so far everyone seems terribly miserable.

>>18237098
Isn't that by nature something you have to determine on your own?

>>18237104
Could someone practice and work on being more self-reflective, or is it something where you either got it or you don't?

another bump

Everyone has a personality it's just some are more concealed than others. Many times it is behavior that largely determines your personality. Just consider how you freeze up when someone strikes a conversation with you. That's your behavior not your personality. Just work on your social interacting skills- besides, it's usually not your own self that notices your own personality but instead other people that notice it and tell you.

>>18237079
I'm referring to the bootleg version of personality. You know how some assholes say "that person is generic as fuck; they have no personality"?

Your advice still applies, of course.

>>18237070
The guy pointing has teddy Roosevelts face and i have a moustache like the little guys. Irrelevant i know but felt like sharing lol