A girl I'm interested in texted me asking if I'm out tonight
I'm not, what do I say in response without sounding like the boring loser I am?
>>18245163
>sorry, emma watson and I decided to have a night in.
>>18245163
If you you're not then it's pretty much nothing left to talk about. You won't meet her, ever. She doesn't care if you're boring or nah, the point is she indirectly told you that if you out you can see her somewhere
>>18245163
text this
>Why? want to have a drink somewhere?
post results
Ex gf of 4 years found someone else and dropped me in 1 week, have taken me 5 years to get over it. Finally doing well and stopped thinking about her. Suddenly find out one of my best friends just started dating her. In about 1 month all of my friends have ghosted me to be friends with them instead of me (bet she told them all kinds of shit to turn them against me). Don't bother fighting for it as they are shit friends for dropping me for that shit. Still feel like dying inside... Been 2 weeks now and the feels get worse. Only in the gym a feel a little better but im seriously considering if anything is worth it.
What advice would you give me for handling this situation? I don't do drugs as i have done it prior and im not going back to that.
>>18245113
Wow. Assholes.
I'm really sorry OP.
Pick up a new hobby and make new friends. Go volunteering, take a class, start doing some sport.
You're worthy of love. Don't let this shit make you feel worthless or bad.
>>18245136
Not op and I'm just passing by.
This is good advice
Drown your sorrow meeting new women. Dump your false friends, block them from your life and social media.
It sucks OP. I had a gf set me up for a break up so she could be with a "friend" of mine who was hitting on her behind my back. I went for a sleepover in a friends house, cryed my ass on his shoulder, and a few weeks later he and his gf and having a birthday party with my ex. I think I felt more betrayed by it than by my ex.
It fucking hurts op, cry your heart out if you need, but know that it goes away. Use your anger to fuel your comeback. I found a gf shortly after and I'm happily ever after with her. Only a new love will help you heal a broken heart.
Has anyone here been continually cucked out of apathy?
I'm pretty sure my current live-in gf is cheating on me, but I don't care. We've got a nice apartment in the city and it keeps the bills low, I'm enjoying the career I'm building, and friends I'm making, andI sort of don't care about her cheating unless she gives me some kind of STD.
I think I sort of see her as a gf of convenience (at least until the lease is up), and don't particularly want to give the house a bad atmosphere via being confrontational when I could just keep getting laid and having a cheap apartment and shit.
Any thoughts? Is this unusual?
That's soft
Leave the bitch before she leaves you.
It's pretty common, but that doesn't make it right. This isn't sustainable OP. One of you is going to break up with the other eventually if you don't put any work into the relationship.
>>18245044
sure. and if you can prove it, you can go ahead and cheat as well
I met this girl on okc four months ago, realized at one point she must have borderline personality disorder. it didnt take long for the red flags to show but I was foolish and stuck around and now I'm in love with her. She's cute af and quirky and I like her personality when she's not triggered. But she is crazy af when she's triggered and now she's starting to do other crazy stuff. She suspects that I'm seeing someone else bc during one of our many fights I told her I had options. Since then she's been stalking my fb and every time some girls like or comment one of my posts she'll send me a text accusing me of cheating with one of them.
Now the problem Im really having is that she's been gaslighting me so hard I'm losing touch with reality. She's smart and her mind is fast and she can easily manipulate your thoughts and feelings. I don't know how many times it felt like I did something wrong then I think back and realize all I was doing was defending myself and I never actually said anything bad while she was being a total bitch. Every time I try to stick up for myself she tells me I'm victimizing myself and does this nasty bit about how I make everything about me. It fucks with my head bc she changes the original argument to something else and it's always something accusatory. She does it so she can make me feel like its my fault and divert the attention from her episodes which start everything so she can't be blamed. Even though I realize all this i feel like I'm crazy too or something. Why do I want to be with her? I know she's going to make my life a living hell. What do I have to do to get myself out of this? I can't even bring myself to block her number
>>18244938
Get the fuck out of there you dumbass.
>four months, in love
Stopped reading
Smart people don't abuse their partners
Smart people aren't insecure
Smart people are healthy
Smart is not what you are dealing with
She acts cute but that's not really special
You probably have some fault and you are driving her more mad with these "it's not just my fault"
I think you should have to sit her down and tell her that you enjoy being with her but she lost who she was when you first met and make her feel she is right about somethings she is noticing but she needs to trust you otherwise it's obvious that you both are damaging each other
Am I mentally ill?
This post is probably going to be a little all over the place. I seem to fuck up everything I do. Like...I donno, I feel like I could've had the world handed to me on a silver fuckin' platter if I could stop this weird cycle I'm in.
It seems like I don't even know what I'm feeling most of the god damn time.
My parents love me and support me but I keep fucking up everything they try to do for me. I'm fucking 25 and only moved out of the house financially independent for the first time 8 months ago for school. My parents have paid for me to go to college twice, and I've failed out or dropped out both times. This time I said I didn't want them to pay for it so I'm about 15 grand in debt right now.
I'm not even doing great in school at the moment. Like, I'm not failing...but I'm not thriving either. Last semester I was on the deans list (need a >3.60 GPA to be on deans list) and this semester I feel like I'm just scraping by. I took this program because I was interested in it. I am interested in it. The content is honestly pretty neat. I started cheating on my web dev assignments this semester because I didn't get Java so I'm like 90% sure I'm gonna be fucked for next year. I've paid people on fiverr to do almost every web dev assignment so far this semester, and like a quarter of them last semester.
I always feel like I start things all gung-ho, ready to do well and start off on the right foot initially but eventually I keep slipping and falling and end up fucking myself over like I'm doing now. I feel like I'm going to fail out next year and disappoint my parents again.
>>18244922
Near the beginning of this semester I went in to the school counselling office and made an initial assessment appointment. I talked about how I was feeling anxious and kind of depressed but, and they said to come in for my next appointment and I never went. I've tried to go once or twice but it's same day appointments only and it's hard to fit that in in between classes and assignments.
I go to sleep and wake up most days with suicide on the brain. For whatever reason when I'm laying in my bed all I can think is "it'd be nice to just eat the barrel of a revolver right now and pull the trigger". Once I'm up and doing stuff I can usually block it out but it's usually there when I wake up and is almost always there when I crawl into bed.
Somewhere along the line I also lost the ability to make friends. I've still got my small group of best friends that I've known since highschool (some earlier than that) but I can't make any more friends. Thank god for those guys. All my friends have moved on from our hometown and met other people and they always tell me the fun shit they do, why can't I do that? One of my best friends moved to China to teach and he met a whole bunch of people over there. I feel like if I did that I'd end up being a fucking loner, very similar to what I'm doing now. Thank god my roommate is one my original friends or else I'd have no one to talk to in this city.
>>18244922
>>18244927
Whenever I try to start a conversation with someone in my program I feel like I have a foggy brain; I can't carry on a fucking conversation. Most of the people in my program seem like really nice people...but they've sort of formed their little group now and I feel like an outsider. Like, they work with each other on projects and stuff and play video games together. I'm interested in that stuff too but for some reason I have trouble making friends with these guys. It almost feels like it's too late to really form a bond with any of those guys, like I'm seen as "that weird quiet dude" now and when/if I try to talk to any of them they act nice but laugh about me later.
I don't know what to do. I'm so unhappy. I feel like I can probably bluff my way through the rest of my schooling here (only one more year after this semester's done, two year program) but then what? I don't feel like I've learned enough to work in this field at all.
I don't know. I tried seeing a therapist last year for a bit and she sucked. She didn't help me at all. I don't know what I should do here.
Should I try to get diagnosed with anxiety or depression and then get pumped full of meds?
No idea what the right decision to make is
Worry not for illness. Be mindful and practice mindfulness. Pray and meditate in prayer. Blessings be upon you brother. If you love the world, the world will love you back. If you open your heart to the world, the world will open up its heart to you.
is college worth it?
Even for a STEM degree?
>>18244900
You need that shiny degree to prove you're hireable anon
>>18245045
This. Other than that, not really.
>>18244900
That depends on a lot of things you dumbfuck. I don't think college is for you if this is the level of thought you produce.
How can I ruin someone's life?
>>18244730
By improving your own so they will look more pathetic compared to you.
Drugs, just drugs.
>>18244730
Dirty sanchez
I get this weird small boner when a girl is near me or talking to me with an interest(not romantic but as a good trust-worthy friend) to me.
How do I avoid that(boner at from happening again?
Whenever I get this boner, I try not to hide it because what if they can get a clue of that I'm trying to hide the boner?
>>18244644
Lol cute. I don't think there's a way to really stop that unless u wanted to wear a cock cage ;)
>>18244644
Embrace it anon. You want to bone her.
>>18244644
jack off everyday... you will become so desensitized that your pursuit of pussy will become so irrelevant
>only dream is to live in japan and marry a japanese girl. 24 now, have been sick since I was 16. Went to tons of specialists, had numerous blood and hormone tests, sleep studies, tried loads of antidepressants, nothing worked
>started watching info wars last year and a few months ago saw info about parasites, mold and fungus on there
>been taking anti-parasite, anti-yeast, mold and fungal supplements along with probiotics
>quickly recovering in just a couple months. Can think and remember, no chronic pain or fatigue, losing lots of weight with no effort, feel great
>GPA is trashed from trying to go back to school 5 times, permaneantly unable to get financial aid, NEED to be working full time, mom needs my financial support, help around the house daily and she's extremely depressed all the time
>so much stress, shit GPA, have to work 40 hours minimum and drive 6 hours minimum a week along with bullshit at home before even any classes
>a trade would be no problem and my wageslave job wluld even pay for me to go.
How fucked am I out of all I want in life?? Am American
>>18244641
JET program, the foreign service and marines are the most common ways to live in Japan.
You're fucked when it comes to getting a degree so JET is out for you. Your chance of joining the foreign service is basically nil. Just leaves you with the mahreens option. Pray that you get sent to Japan?
>Neet weaboo loser who watches info wars
Got no advice for you but thanks for making me feel better about myself /adv/
>>18244673
I don't watch anime or any of that shit and was only anything close to a NEET due to being sick.
Does /adv/ have tips for learning a second language?
I've tried using duolingo but it appears to be only short term memory stuff, I need to learn german to at least a C1 test in order to gain a student visa
Pls help adv you're my only hope
PS have approx 12 months
>>18244535
Take a proper course with a proper teacher.
Watch tv shows and movies in german with subtitles.
Listen to german podcasts.
Interact with germans in german.
Read german books.
>>18244535
There's a board for this and it's called /int/. I recommend starting from their wiki:
http://4chanint.wikia.com/wiki/German
German is an easy language and there's tons of resources online. Just study.
How do I not take it personally when someone doesn't text me back? Like, I know you saw that text! What do you do to not feel badly about it? All I can do is imagine all the reasons why not, but I keep circling back to "well, he just must not like you very much."
Put your phone down, go do other shit. Go live your life and don't overthink.
We all ate different that is what you have to accept, even in work matters some prefer phone calls some prefer meeting in person etc
And if we say it's not about the way he /she prefers to respond not everyone feels what you feel and that's also fine cause some people neee time to reflect on this and get to decide what they feel,other feels instantly and get excited and text back others want to clear their heads ....There is ALOT OF REASONS that doesn't have to be a reflection of you
It only can be when you two have been long time together and you know for sure that he/she enjoys texting and that he keeps coming with excuses to avoid youb
If this means anything is that ur are bit free than he is and probably over thinking it
He's usually good about texting back quickly. Might be overthinking it, but also might not given that I know he's fine with texting in general. I get anxious when I text crushes, so it tends to hurt when they don't text back.
I have found myself in a bit of a rut recently, so I thought I would turn to the collective wisdom of 4chan for advice.
My problems are threefold:
- I am in my last year of university and cannot find the motivation to get anything done at the moment
- I smoke too much weed
- Sad bc no qt3.14gf
>Be me
>Have to write dissertation
>Due in 2 months
>Not even started
>Not done any work in the last 2 weeks
a big part of the problem is that I'm stoned all the time, but I'm having difficulty resisting the temptation.
>Start smoking bud regularly in teens
>becomes every day
>5 years later now
>Made progress stopping in last year
>Went months without smoking
>Always smoke more at the end of the uni year anyway, I guess because of the stress
>Need to cut down now though because I'm not getting work done
>Weed is basically my escape, but when you merely escape your problems, they grow whilst you're away
Escaping low motivation from my perceived failure with women
>Last year had first gf in almost 4 years
>She was manipulative and headfucked me, however
>Had a little confidence after and tried to keep the ball rolling, but all my attempts were met with failure and I feel more hopeless than ever
>Get stoned soon after waking up because I have dreams which draw my attention back to my abject failure in finding a suitable mate
So if anyone can offer some form of expertise in the fields of love, academia or addiction, it would help me greatly. Thanks guys.
I feel you man, i think i have the same escape strattegy but with games and computer shit in general.
i neverr visit adv and was searching for a thread about deppresion in uni because i think i have it
>Last year of college but dont go to clases so im failing test after test
>living in an underground appartment, almost never see the sun
> have wasted three whole years doing Nothing
>Havent exited my appartment in three weeks watching People hace fun with games on videos
>Lie to everybody, long dist gf from my town, family. 'yeah clases are boring', 'yeah im ok'
> knowing that i'm doing things wrong but no motivation to change, and i dont know how to change back yo how i was when i entered uni.
>I have thinked of going to a psychologist but im not sure what to expect.
>>18244658
Selfpity appart i think your main problem OP Is weed but youre gonna need help dealing with quitting or regulating it, dont know how to real with anxiety tough that's one of the reasons im here.
And about the gf justo date some female friend that cares for you, just DONT lie to her as i do.
>>18244658
What are you waiting for? Go seek help anon, it will help you.
But you can first begin with baby steps, step outside, take a walk for half an hour everyday, set some good habits : Put an alarm and wake up everyday at the same time, make your bed every morning, shower, anything. And don't turn on your computer until the afternoon (that's if you woke up at 8 am).
You'll change to how you were, you just need to push yourself now and once you've set good habits, momentum will help you get on your feet.
>Be me
>Girl in my class asks me if i want to go out with her
>Meet ourself have a great time
>She invites me to a party
>She says i'm funny good looking and her best friend
>We talk often in class
>She says i'm the only one that brings her to laugh
>Ask her if she wants to do something with me
>She says yes
>After second meet up she says next time we go to you
>After second meet up i told her that i like her more than just as a friend after she told me that i'm the best friend she ever had.
>"Really Anon? <3 <3 <3 Cute <3 <3 and that monkey that cloes his eyes"
So we met ourselfs 2 times but she already knows that i like her more than just as a friend.
She called me her best friend.
I won't see her 3 weeks long she is in vacation and she never really messaged with me often beside than planning meet ups.
But we often talk in class.
Is there even a point or am i to fucking cucked?
>>18244455
>Is there even a point
A point to what? Trying to date her? Probably not since she pretty deliberately did not reciprocate your 'I like you' talk. If you're asking about just being her friend idk that's up to you. It wouldn't make you a cuck since it's not like you ever were romantic with her but if it is a strain on your emotions or confidence to be platonic with somebody you admitted to having emotions for then you're acting for her benefit and not your own.
Advice for the future: Analyze the interactions you've had with this girl. Has your demeanor and dialogue reflected someone trying to be romantically invested or do you talk to her like she's your buddy?
How comparatively attractive is she to you? Are you shooting above your pay grade? Answering hese questions will help you reflect on how to better pursue the next girl.
>>18244475
I made compliments and flirted sometimes.
When i'm alone i always think dirty with her.
And in class she usually never makes herself pretty but in our meet ups she pimps her up.
And sometimes she looks very long in my eyes.
She often says that i'm the best person on this world and that i'm very cute.
That's all information that i have.
And she is in comparision with me ugly.
Many people even asked me why i do things with her because she is that ugly.
I just like her a lot because she is funny.
>>18244490
No offense but your response is essentially "I've done everything right". If you did and you're truly a catch for her then I'd imagine she would have been more attracted. Maybe you did do everything right and it just some preference of hers. Women can be predictable in certain contexts but aren't a monolith.
My only other word on the matter is the manner in which you brought up your romantic feelings. Texting a girl 'I like you" seems like a high schoolers M.O.
Your dates, if you think they're worth being called that, are where romance should bubble up. This could be a case where she was into you, enjoyed your dates and thought you were attractive, but then saw your text as cowardly and chilled her enthusiasm. The rocket was all set but blew up on take off.
Jesus christ fucking tonsil stones, they're like satan's little turds in my mouth, how to I stop those fuckers from popping up or find a good way to remove them? I looked up tutorials on YT, but no matter how much I try to push them out by shoving my fingers in my mouth, those shitheads are stuck there and only come out when they want to.
try scraping with a bobby pin or something. remember they are sorta like zits and the fun stuff comes out of a little hole so you have to maneuver it like such. cut back on sodium too i guess
>>18244588
>the fun stuff comes out of a little hole
that's one way to put it
>>18244452
go to the doctor?
So I have recently aquired a girlfriend and well the title sais it all I suck at being in a relationship.
I mean I don't know what is expected of me as a bf, over the obvious things like "don't bang other women" and such.
Don't get me wrong, I love my gf but my insticts tell me to spoil the shit out of her even though my brain is like: Dude yer 3 weeks deep into the relationship" you shouldn't do all this shit" > So i don't do any of it.
>the issue with my latest relationship was that I was too clingy.
>This time when I'm trying to not be clingy I'm likely overshooting and are being way too distant instead.
Just give me some general relationship advice peeps... I dont know what I'm doing.
That shit usually goes away after you bang her a couple of times.
>>18244440
Be open and honest with her. Tell her you're worried about how to act, and she will probably tell you if she wants you to be more clingy or more distant
>>18244440
don't be in a relationship you need to find your self nigga.