Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1804. page

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Hello /adv/

Looking for some input here.... Hoping somebody can help to bring light to both sides here...

Current Situation:
Married for 1.5 years, wife is currently mad at the fact we are not intimate enough and says she has needs, its important part of a relationship, etc etc. I however understand. But, heres the back end of this.

Me - 25 y/o army vet who injured my back in Afghanistan.... (Approx 4 years ago now was the initial injury) When the wife and I first met. The intimacy wasnt such an issue as my back was not as bad and I was not overwhelmed with nearly as much stress as I am under now...

She says we dont do it enough and I explain my side, tell her between the pain and feeling insignificant for having to resort to lesser things than normal I'm not in the mood as well as being stressed so much.

Current factors:
Pain - Lower back
Her Solution - Try other things (Rubbing, touching, oral, etc) - I dont enjoy this because it makes me feel insignificant and useless as a 25 y/o male who cant even function in the bedroom normally, yet alone outside of the home. (Full time mechanic and still a reservist)

Other factors (Stress)
- Currently in the army reserves still (Preparing for long term training event soon)
- Currently slotted for a deployment overseas
- Trying to get a solution for a home (still live with family as when we were getting married her plan was to go active duty coast guard, never happened)
- Overall trying to make sure everything falls into place and nothing gets overlooked, I typically handle the planning of most stuff as she doesnt take much initiative to get things done....

Thoughts....?

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Some of you will hate me but hear me out.

I've been with this girl for 4 years. She is pretty, and kind and an altogether loving soul. She is very submissive in all of her aspects towards me. She lost her virginity to me despite being somewhat religious. The problem is I have been unable to remain faithful to her throughout the years. I've slept with other women and even some she considers her friends, and I don't think she has a clue. You will judge me but you don't know what it's like. I'm the kind of guy women notice, I get approached more often than I approach others. Only men in similar situations can understand. We have great sex, but I am not strong enough to resist when a fucking 10/10 bombshell is giving me the eyes.

Onto the problem. Recently I decided I can't be doing this to her anymore. It is not that I never felt anything for her, i just thought I could slide my weaknesses under the rug. One day I used her laptop and found out she's actually very invested in the prospect of sewing, how to raise and spend time with kids, and general traditional home improvement for a family. She also has a diary blog nobody reads. I think she intended to start a family with me and be a traditional house wife. Now I just feel a hollow in my chest because I don't know what to do to reverse it. If I tell her all the truth I undoubtedly think I'd ruin her ability to trust forever. I feel like she has this childhood fantasy of a goal and don't want to tarnish that innocence.

What the fuck do I do? How do I end this without damaging her?

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I think I am too egoistic.

I'm in a relationship and my gf pointed out to me (in an argument) that I'm not thinking of her. She brought up valid points of me not helping her out.

We just had a pretty bad argument.
I don't know what to do. I love her and I'm trying my best. Yet I often think just about myself. What can I do?

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How can a "talented" "antisocial" move forward in life?

I am 19yo, I am or used to be a musician, I write everything in my songs, and I mix and master them myself, I was told by many that I am pretty good with it, from writing and playing it to making it sound good. I really practiced my ass off on my instuments.

The problem is, I really hate social networks, I am terrible at them, I can't figure out if there's a deeper reason, there probably is, and I cannot find anyone to play with, because I want to play what I like which is more complex and requires some practice.

It pisses me off so hard when other musicians in bands that don't work as hard acknowledge each other's work and talk about their futures and just completely ignore the fact that I've ever done any music at all, like I am not even a musician.

I am going to join the armed forces, and don't get me wrong, I look forward to it because it's a new start, but being told I am talented and that talented people are appearently looked for, then being absolutely ignored really breaks my fucking heart. Maybe I'm wasted talent, maybe this is how it's meant to be. But fucking hell it hurts when someone asks me how is music going for me. The question here is the first line I wrote.

inb4 thanks for the blog asshole

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>met an /r9k/ robot freshman at college
>invited him to a social thing to try to win him back from that depressing place
>he's never left the dorm except for class and has next to no social skills
>I'm not very good at helping people break out of their mold.
Why did I do this, /adv/? It's going to be awkward for everyone, isn't it? It's just gonna reinforce the /r9k/ virus, won't it?
Tips on getting my normie friends to help him socialize?

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Why am i experiencing this sexual tension with a girl (a stranger at that) who isn't even my preferred body type? She is very petite and i am into thick woman, but there's something about her that i find attractive.

I can tell that she's also attracted to me, too. It's very much a mutual thing. We just stare across the classroom speaking with body language. I haven't made a move yet only because i love building the tension.

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>have single mother
>not allowed to leave home without permission or I get thrown out
>can't ask family members to help me drive or I get thrown out
>can't commute to places seeking a job or she'll tell me "its pointless" and throw me out
>forced to work with uncle all day friday, saturday, and sunday for free
>not allowed to buy PC parts, or anything entertainment related so stuck with toaster
>in uni so have to pull all-nighters every other day due to this
>no sign of things changing any time soon

Should I move out?

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How do I find a hobby or goal to obsess over? I feel like this is the only way to save my sanity in this meaningless life.

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My bf and I have sex often...at least 5 out of 7 days a week. And its usually more. I need a break every once in a while, and the few times I pass on it he HAS to masturbate to porn. I really hate it but he refuses to stop. I even said masturbation was fine, it was the porn I had a problem with. He refuses to stop and its an everyday thing especially if I dont "put out"
I tried talking to him about it and it turned into a huge fight where someone hes compared porn to me smoking cigarettes, and is now saying he'll quit watching porn if I quit smoking.
He doesn't realise that smoking keeps me sane and i fear that even if I quit he'll continue to watch it anyway.
What can I do to get him to understand??

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Hey /adv/, I was arrested a couple of months ago for a very minor violation, and now it seems that they are looking to put me through trial. The thing is, the crime is very innocuous. I was basically sitting in a lounge area with my laptop when I was ordered to leave by one of the owners. So, I left. Apparently, though, a cop decided to come arrest me at my home without even asking me for my side of the story first. I'd like to scan the police report too so that you can see how dumb this case is. Anyway, I was forced to hire a lawyer and now the DA plans to go to trial over this and the biggest bullshit is that the plea deal is 60 days prison. The one thing working against me is that I do have a trespassing crime prior on an unrelated case that happened 4 years ago, but now I'm forced to go through a $5,000 trial because I was looking for a quiet space with my laptop, and I don't have that kind of money handy. I was thinking about starting a gofundme page to try to help pay for all my upcoming fees. I'm forced to choose spending $5000 + extra fees for tiral or sitting 60 days in prison.

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I started telling another male friend the disappointing story how after talking to a cute girl for a while who I went out with twice ended up dumping me and telling me she just wasn't interested in seeing me anymore. Then my friend replied, "Man, you know what we should do? We should just find out where that bitch lives, break into her house and we should just fucking RAPE her!" and then he started laughing out loud. This left me totally shocked: I didn't find that shit funny at all. Just told him "Yeah... no. Let's never do that." Sure I totally wanted to fuck this girl and I was disappointed, but who the fuck even jokes about raping someone cause she turned you down? This wasn't even a girl who was interested in him.

This friend in particular worries me. He's about 24, has a job he apparently hates, is very obese, talks very monotonously, says he browses /r9k/, considers himself very unattractive (honestly, he is), I think he might have gotten laid once in his entire life. For all I know, he might have been lying too. He's obsessed with anime and weeaboo shit which I make fun of all the time. In comparison I'm not like this, I'm pretty fit and gotten laid with a variety of girls, still trying the Tinder/POF game and meeting girls whenever I can. Basically, my friend seems like he's given up.

It's actually really disturbing to me cause I showed him pics of this girl I went out with a few times, honestly she was out of my league but I felt great that she even gave me a chance. He said he too found her very attractive, even seemed jealous of me because he was like "A girl like that would never talk to me in a thousand years man..." He seemed very interested in her.

I try to tell him to just hit the gym, go out more and drop the anime shit but he just wants to be a neckbeard. It's the joking about rape that really freaks me out though. Is this something to be wary of.

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Hi /adv/, I graduated high school in 2011, I've been jumping from college to college since, due to procrastinating, I cannot get shit done, I will piss away any number of hours, mentally running away from the task, when I have managed to sit down at a desk, I can't seem to keep myself there, I thought switching majors would help me, this has slowly made me hate myself and now it's worse, when I sit down to try to work, all distractions are gone and I just feel this anger/sadness, after a while I can't stand it and must engage in escapism.

This has caused a slow downward spiral, started college for the first time at 17 in computer science, got a girlfriend who was absolutely mad for me, I had never drank nor smoked pot, at 19 I started with both right after dropping out and leaving that girlfriend, because I simply didn't feel like I had strong feelings for her or my major. Now at 23, I smoke and drink daily, still on first semester, still can't sit down and work. I kept in touch with her, even kept having sex with her throughout the years, until she graduated last year, has a bf who graduated too and now has an engineering job. They started at the same time as me and I'm in first semester of psychology, switching majors didn't help me feel better, as I said, it's worse now, as I feel I'm a general useless fuck up now, instead of simply not being interested in computer science.

I fear I will keep dragging out the years like this, I thought I had no strong feelings for this girl, but now it really hurts inside knowing she's with someone who is succeeding at all I tried. I've tried 2 therapists now, no real change.

TL;DR: Anyone here overcome a MASSIVE procrastination habit?

Pic may be coincidentally related

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Is living in a trailer park a bad idea? Mind you, this is in Western BC Canada and it's a 4 bedroom with the extensions. Only 40 grand too.

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/adv/, i come to you in desperate need of advice.
I'm currently seeking a job to pay for psychiatric expenses but i have no clue what keywords im looking for.
In terms of the genetic lottery I'm royally fucked. I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder which gives me a very flat/angry voice and was born slightly deformed, with a clubbed foot and disproportionate body (semi noticeable, more obvious when im wearing t shirts or no glasses).
I've made an online resume for a website looking for anything office related but to be honest i have no idea where to start. I've had previous jobs but i can't stand loud environments and fast paced work. I'm looking only for office work, basically something i can do behind a desk all day. What keywords should i even use? I want like a job like the dudes in Workaholics or The Office.. That's basically the best way i can explain it.