Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1758. page

>>18275129
I need to add, I feel bad, because I turned out to be super prudish, fairly conservative when it comes to sexual stuff. So I just can't help but obsess over these past mistakes.

You might try to write an amends letter and then throw it away. Apologize for what you did and say what you are going to do differently in the future. You prob can't apologize to the girls and this boy directly without causing more harm so the letter is the next best thing. Just do not deliver. Ultimately you need to accept that sexual exploration is normal and there is nothing wrong with what you did. Forgive yourself...for being normal. Allow yourself to be human.

Be happy with the way you turned out. Remember that nobody important cares about what you did in the past, and that the people that are judging you for who you used to be rather than who you are now aren't people you want to associate with anyway.

I know exactly how you feel. I'm barely on the autism spectrum, so I fit in with """normal""" people enough, but still have a side to me that does cringeworthy, dumb, laughable shit pretty often. I've dealt with this for a long time, and I've learned to just be happy with the influence that it's had on me. The more it hurts to think about, the better you'll turn out because of it.

>>18275048
Man, I wish I could feel content living like this. I have the same "lifestyle", but mainly because I'm awkward and anxious around people.

>>18275048

>is there a difference

yes, the difference is obvious

>but is one more happier than the other

no

>is it 'wrong'

no. even if it was 'wrong' would you really care if no one was getting hurt by you? like whats the point? morality that doesn't effect others is pretty dumb.

if you are truly happy, thats fine. if you stop being happy, thats also fine, just try something new.

>>18275048
>>18275069

when i was younger I was like you OP, except i dated, that was really my only social aspect. now that I'm older I go out a LOT but don't date at all. both made me equally happy, i just wanted different things at different times in my life. my only regret about it is i do wish I had enjoyed my youth a bit more and could have saved that lifestyle for when i was older, but its nothing i get too upset about.

>>18275030
I'm no expert but you know girls are also humans and they get insecure or afraid from time to time. She might even be embarrassed that she rejected you before and might be expecting you to lead on. But honestly you would never know without talking more.

>>18275212
It's like women want to be alone

>>18275030
Ask her.
If I reject a guy I try to make things easier for him by being nice but distant, she's acting the opposite.

I recommend moving on. It would be cool to talk with her through email if she does follow through but don't make her a priority. Go out and have fun wherever you end up.

Don't mean to be a dick but she will be getting pounded by other older guys. Emailing won't be enough to get her to commit. At least those are my two cents, senpai

File: at first I was like.jpg (319KB, 700x500px) Image search: [Google]

319KB, 700x500px

>>18275015

Emailing is just until I can come back, just something to keep in contact until we can hang out again

Her being older does make me nervous but I've dated older girls in the past, never any so cool no offense to them but still

You're probably right anon-kun
It would be so much easier to move on if I had someone else though, how do I move on alone, making friends is so hard for someone like me

>>18274989
She told you she's only dated older guys? As in you had that conversation with her?

Okay, first of all, if she answered that way, if you asked her that question, then she is a little bit attracted to you at the very least. She's trying to mentally justify why she can't date you.

Here's the thing though, if you are asking questions like that to her, having that conversation with her, you have made yourself sterile. You think you're being tricky, asking her intimate questions, like you're going to warm her up to you, but notice how thoroughly women take advantage of the opportunity to have conversations about intimate topics with their beta orbiters. Which are never actual intimate conversations. You have friend zoned yourself by doing this.

I am not saying you have sealed your fate. You need to attract this woman if you want to be with her. You have made it only a little bit more difficult for yourself than it otherwise would have been if I am interpreting what you're saying correctly. You will not win her over by being her friend, especially since you're younger and she views you as nonthreatening in any sort of romantic way.

Tell me more about your situation if you'd care to, but other than that, good luck.

t. guy who has penetrated into the hearts of many a older lassies.

Pat yourself on the back for giving it a shot

Embrace the sadness

Move on

>>18274963

make your self the main character in your own life, instead of the satellite character in some disney movie.

>>18274963
Just by confessing you did more than most would, you're doing a good job already. Congrats on having that courage. Be your own muse.

>>18274930
give an example of said question(s)

>>18274959
The one that got me was "what do you consider great service?"

I asked if he meant as a customer, because the job I was applying for wouldn't require me to interact with customers. He said "in general."

How can I receive great service as just a random individual?

Also, the classic "what is your biggest flaw?" which can only be correctly answered by twisting around and giving cliche answers like "I work TOO hard."

>>18274966
what kind of job(s) are these interviews for?

You gotta hit 'em where it hurts: their sympathy. If you act sincerely slightly offended at a comeback like this it tends to put you in a better light.
>The library's really nice for revision at this time of night
>wow anon plz tell me more lol
>thanks, friend.
Ideally this sets the tone as you being receptive to the joke while expressing your discontent. I don't think there's anyone that can really stop themselves from being annoyed/triggered when they're made fun of, to be honest, so trying to stay ahead of the game is better imo.

>>18274965
Idk if I want to use sympathy. I feel like I've lost the battle if I go down to that. But at the same time I don't want to fight back, so I just end up taking it and getting annoyed.

>>18274965
Should I try and work on my comebacks or should I keep taking it? Do comebacks even help?? I feel like I'll just be even more annoyed cause I stooped down to their level and let them get to me, but they already got to me

You need to be over 18 to post here.

Context kid. Too general.

go outside for one.

>>18274887
if ur life is good and u feel bad then maybe ur autistic or bipolar

Hey man, I don't normally post because I'm not a good writer but I have to say something. I was dumped by a girl who I was convinced I was going to marry and I wish someone had said something along these lines to me then:

Let me start with a disclaimer: don't try to contact her. Don't message her, don't do any of that shit. You will look back and cringe and it wi get you nowhere.

Now for the advice.

You're going to be feeling terrible. It's going to suck. It's going to be hard as fuck for a bit. People are going to tell you that you need to get back on the horse, or do whatever. It probably isn't going to help and you're going to think it's never going to get better.

But it will. The only thing that is going to make you feel better is time, and letting yourself be sad.

It will come in waves, some days you'll be minding your own business when something that reminds you of them will pop into your life and you'll be feeling like you're back to square one.

But you won't be.

Every day it's going to get a bit easier. The waves will be further and further apart until one day, you don't get hit with any waves.

It's going to be tough but it's going to be okay.

One day when you're over it you're going to look back and wonder why you were ever so hung up in the first place. I know it seems impossible to think this way now, but I promise that day will come.

>>18274864
Then why did you break up? Unless she was cheating, it sounds stupid.

>>18274941
Get back together, if she says no, just know that you were an idiot, and don't break up for the same reason next time.

the first one obviously

Don't say anything else until you hear from her first. We don't know why she stood you up so it's hard to say BUT I can tell you this is a major red flag. You deserve to be respected and if she's already showing signs of disrespect on the 3rd date, she's done you a favor by allowing you to bow out now while you still have time.

>>18274784
Yeah, I should just leave it be and move on. It's really hard though, because I like her a lot. And she seemed to like me back. And she really seemed special. It hurts.

>>18274795
Yeah, she could have been kidnapped by drug lords or dropped her phone in the ocean or something, I dunno. It was just last night that I was stood up, so maybe I'll give it some time.

It's funny, though. I encouraged this same girl to submit an art piece to an exhibition, and she was telling me that she felt a little offended about not hearing back from them and not even getting a rejection letter.

But it seems she feels no shame about standing people up without so much as a "sorry, I can\t make it" text.

WHY DO I STILL LIKE HER THO

>>18274721
>k
>rawr xD
>;)

>>18274727
They still say rawr xD?

>>18274721
the apple is ten.
the banana is four.
the coconut is two.
you can trust me, I have extensive training in the field of investigating fruit as an integer.

Sounds like it's probably piles (Haemorrhoids)

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/haemorrhoids/Pages/What-is-it-page.aspx

bleach your anus like all the top shelf faggots

File: 1490149961820.gif (1MB, 480x351px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 480x351px

>>18274710
FUCK YOU OP

You made me take a photo of my anus because I realized its been years. That shit was ABSOLUTELY HARAM. I'm fucking disgusting....! Also, haemorrhoids, OP.

Someone with experience*

>would take too long to get good
Pathetic. Don't bother trying to be a musician if you're not dedicated or you'll just be a shit musician. Try writing reviews or something

I used to write electronic music on a basic computer system called Fruity Loops. So fun! You may also consider learning to read music. Joining a local church choir for a time might be a good place to start.

Hey Anxiety. If I was in your position I just wouldn't go at all. Sometimes you just have to skip things if you feel pressured to do them. It doesn't mean that you're a flaker if you don't go, or that you're a bad friend. It just means you don't want to go to a party, clubbing, whatever. More so, if you get always have bad experiences with clubbing, why would you want to go? Throwing up is DEFINITELY NOT FUN, and if that what comes along with clubbing, fuck it. Even if it sounds cliche, peer pressure is a real thing a lot of people struggle with, and if you really have a bad time at clubbing, tell your friends that. You can always exclude yourself from certain situations. Hope I helped. Think about it.

>>18274619
Clubbing is for primitive peoples, read a book.

Being able to go to a club without throwing up or getting anxiety is important. You may need to get professional help, there is also medication to assist. You should first ask yourself: have I been to a club before and had a bad experience and as a result have this fear? Or is the fear not valid i.e. I am making up the fear. Ultimately: what am I afraid that will happen? Usually people have fun in clubs dance around listen to music and then go home. That is a good thing to experience

>>18274594
Men and women can be friends, it's just that you fucked up. Take some responsibility OP.

He may not be mature enough to understand you needed time and saw it as rejection. If you have an opportunity to talk to him, you could apologize for being inconsiderate since it was wrong to get involved in the first place and ask him if he would reconsider. But I think it would be best to be with a man willing to be patient with you to be honest.

>>18274594
>Why can't men and women be friends?

They can (Heck my best friend--the person who'd probably be my best man--is a chick )

But that wasn't what was going on here.

Even you admit that you were putting him on the back burner romantically. And it was for 100% completely valid reasons, but that doesn't change the reality of things for him or take away his right to feel hurt and want to move on. You can't expect him to put his life on pause for you.

Bottom line: You weren't ready, and he wasn't willing to wait.

It sucks, but no one was at fualt. y'all just weren't meant to be.

All you can do is move forward in you life so that the next time you meet someone, hopefully you'll be in a better place and ready to act.