Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1755. page

just stop showing up

Have you talked to your boss about this?

Be an adult, calmly explain your reasons for leaving when you get back, and give your two weeks notice.

>>18276136
This time try down the river instead of across the bridge.

>>18276136
Scars are scars, Anon.
Maybe Surgery to fix that part of the skin if you can afford it. Or tattoos to cover it up.

>>18276137
idiot

Start exercising. Pick a vice and drop it. Start budgeting your money. Go to school.

There's lots of things you can do but everyone's situation is different so it's hard to say. Can you give us more information?

>>18276098
Crying

>>18276098
Fap and finish everything else that needs to get done for the day, fap again then go to bed.

Doesn't matter how much shit goes wrong, as long as you're alive you gotta keep pushing forward. It's trench warfare in this life sometimes but if you stop you're just sitting in the mud in no-man's land and that's the worst place to ever be. Only place worse is hell itself.

>>18276020
What do you have to lose, except time, money and mental health?

Fuck her if you can. If you can't, then continue living life as you did before.

>>18276020

Wait, so you met a really drunk girl and randomly tried to kiss her?
Is that how your previous relationships started?
I feel like you should at least try talking to her when she's sober before you invest too much.

>>18275995
(cont)
2 weeks later, i call her and ask if she wants to meet up. We do meet, we clarify some things about the breakup, and i tell her that what i want is her, i know that she is stressed and i respect her wanting her space, time, or whatever she wants, but everything can be worked out between us, if only she trusts me a little. We had a blast after that, she would come onto me, kiss me, show me that she likes me. She went to her hometown for easter the next day, and called me after 4 days to tell me she feels renewed, she had been thinking about me a lot. That she liked how confident i was, and that she was very attracted to me after all. That she wants to see me more when she returns and spend more time with me again. Of course i was very happy to hear all that, and we kept messaging and phoning each other during easter holiday, along the lines of "cant wait to see you, i miss you" etc.

Then she returns (this sunday). Just 2 hours after she lands we meet at a mutual friends birthday. She kisses me on the cheek, and i kiss her on the lips, to which she reacts like i did something bad, gave me a "what are you doing" look. She later in the night tells me that she thought we are "cooler now". I reply that i didnt realise she wanted us to be "buddies" now, and that its not what i want.She leaves after a while, kisses me on the cheek again.

>>18275995
>>18275997
(cont)

2 days later, i go to her place to surprise her. She is very loving again. Tells me she was a bit mad at me, that she didnt want us to act like we are together in front of others for now, and that she doesnt want others to know what is going on between us, that its our story to sort out and others shouldnt meddle.Also that i should not be hard on myself, that she has issues to sort.I reply that i can be patient for her. She again, comes on to me, kisses me on her own, asks me to stay a bit more etc. I leave very happy.

It has been 6 days, and she has not contacted me. In the holidays she would message every other day, send me a goodnight or something, since she returned i feel like she holds me at a distance again. What should i do. Do i make the first move yet again and contact her? My ego is at a new low at this point anyway.. Do i wait for her? I dont mind giving her time and space, but i want to know if she thinks about me. I never asked her to come back, she called to tell me she wants this, and now she doesnt even text. Am i right to think that its over for good? It all seems very weird to me. Somehow i think this is all happening so she can avoid being hurt in july when she moves away. I feel that is the underlying reason and i want to talk to her about it, but i have to see her first

>>18275999
How are you so sure that there is no other guy. If she is acting close one day and distant the other, either there is someone else, or she has some real problems

>>18275939
are you a virgin?

Nah, I hate it when I'm doing something with my bros and girls come along. It changes the whole social dynamic of the group, from light banter and dirty jokes to superficial chatter and passive aggressive competitiveness.

I wish I still had 'bros' to hangout with

I miss being young

>>18275916
Kiss her on the lips, bitch.

The woman should always be the one to bring up any kind of commitment or relationship

Kiss should be achieved at the absolute latest by the second date

>>18275916
Going out of with a girl is like milking a cow, in order to get milk you have to feed it and take care of her

>>18275882
Stop overthinking problems, ask him on date (not instant sex mind you, that comes after date) and ask him if he wants to be your (exclusive?) bf because you caught feelings for him.

Easy.

>>18275882
>Can casual sex turn into a committed relationship?
Yes.

>>18275882
It depends. Are you guys fucking other people casually still?

Cont'd

About 3 months of perfectly platonic roommating took place until suddenly C and V began to display signs of dissatisfaction with their relationship, V dumps C in front of me in my place and reveals to us both that she had been harboring intense feelings for me and couldn't take it anymore. As any good friend would do, I suggested C take a hike. Commence a 2 year nonstop day and night sexfest, dope-party. A gotta of fun was had, we had fights, some of which reached physical proportions the most severe of which ended with me bleeding or on the floor. No hard feelings. I began to realize how much I really did love this girl and how much she really did love me. It was great. I am a gardener and I've been such for something like 10 years, so long work days and long night of sex and drugs left me exhausted and distant despite the heavy drug use or maybe as a result. I am still dealing with the shame of not properly paying enough attention to her, but cut to Christmas 2016, V is obviously pregnant.... I had been grappling with the sense that she was and tried hinting at it to lead her to the conclusion naturally, but to no avail. The girl was in denial, up until maybe a month before delivery. So prenatal care was null. And, she had used drugs a lot during the pregnancy, but only if I couldn't help it. The moment I had suspected she was pregnant I began a long and arduous expedition of hiding drugs and creating hysteria when I found she had discovered them or turned my pockets inside out while I was sleeping. It was obvious this was only going to get better if I didn't have any. So I did my damnedest to quit, I couldn't but I got V clean, against her strongest pleas, in time for the delivery, God willing. My son was born March 6 this year perfectly healthy and beautiful.

Cont'd

Okay side b:
Before V and I had started dating there was an incident with her sister who lived hundreds of miles away in which she heard from someone about her then-current living arrangements and began the aggressive character assassination of both myself and C on social media. C avoided the brunt of it, by feigning compliance with her demands that she be sent back to her dads place and left alone for good. It wasn't long after that C and V split. I of course told her overbearing prissy bitch of a sister to fuck off and die because well V was mine now. V had never liked her sisters attitude and the way she always treated her was at best less than human. Once the pregnancy was clearly a fact and Victoria decided she would inform her family, both her father and sister advocated and insisted she have it "taken care of". I was sickened. By the way Vs mother took her own life when V was only 2 years old. About a month before my son was born, Vs dad dies due to what im told was an unfortunate dosage of diabetic medication combined with alcohol, obit read he had simply passed in his sleep. The ole man and I only ever interacted once briefly. V was sad, but overall taking the whole thing very well. The day after learning of it all, suddenly V has a godmother coming to collect her to meet her sister at the bus station so they can assess dads estate. I'm put on high alert. The following weeks are stressful and indicative of the control freaks that are her entire famoly, with a couple of exceptions.

Cont'd

My son is born. We bring him home and care for him as any loving parents would. My drug use continues minimally and discreetly, only for work related purposes. V remains clean, until she raids my pockets a couple weeks after the delivery. I'm now informed Vs dad had two $100,000 life insurance policies for both of his daughters, V is collected by her sister to go talk about that with her Dads good friend with whom the money was left to. Apparently there were specific conditions to them both actually receiving the money and specific uses for it; primarily houses. On April 7 V and my son are both collected for an appointment with WIC from which they never return. In contacted by Vs godsister and told my son is "sick" and V and he would be staying with her for the weekend. At the time, I am in hysterics and completely powerless to the calamity I forsee. I'm denied all contact with V and my son bar brief phone calls between V and I until April 14 when her sister ceases all contact and a restraining order is opened without warrant against me. The judge denies the order and I file a response the following monday. The few times I speak with V have been filled with nothing but love. Despite that I'm consistently told she no longer loves me and still all contact is withheld, I continue trying everyday nonetheless until April 22 when after calling Vs number she answers and still only loving words, but she insists that she and the call quickly because she is having a yard sale.

Don't close the door to college just yet. You fucked up, it happens. Stay in college and keep working.

I fucked up severely my sophomore and 1st semester of my junior year. I woke up on some mornings when i was a sophomore and I remember telling myself I wanted to die. Cut to now and I will be traveling to study abroad in the summer and am aiming at going to law school. Point being, development and finding what you want to do takes time.

Even if you have to stay an extra year b/c you messed up stay in college. Trust me.

>>18275850
Welders make a damn decent living, learn NOW that your school system downplayed trades and bluecollar work to railroad you into college and there is nothing wrong with them at all--
Benefits of a trade: you'll have 4 years experience by the time they graduate and still have 0 experience, you'll probably be making around 20/hr at that point, which would be about what they'd make, but they'd also be piled with debt, and it will take them years just to break even and start netting the same amount as you despite getting paid the same. In that time you'd be debt free and keeping way more of your paycheck for yourself.

Downside: it's very hard work, you don't have the prestige or respect a college grad gets, you'll always be viewed as lesser to them, and in the longest run they'll probably make more money than you as their careers really take off in their 40s and yours will pretty much stop increasing past a certain point (but i mean, we're talking 70-100/hr for certain tradesmen, so damn good)

I hear that Humanities are generally trash majors as far as finding a job in the field of study, but they make great hobbies (armchair historian myself) while you work a real job (I lay cement during the day but this is def NOT superior job)

Military is good i guess, it just seems like a long time to dedicate to something in your teens/20s that may well fucking suck. That's just my opinion though.

For my own part, I certainly don't regret my current path, I make 16/hr working for my cousin which isn't that much (about 30k) but it's afforded me a place with a roommate, car, spending money for whatevs, and even saving 100/month, at the age of 24. My college grad friends post memes of teetering buildings held up by a stick or something saying 'this is me keeping my life together rn'

Hope that gave you some food for thought

>>18275958
Thanks I really appreciate the perspective

She is cheating on you. Dump her and move on.

>>18275841
She's not cheating on me. I know that much at least.

>>18275846
Stay delusional, then. Don't come crying back to /adv/ when you find out, though. There are many red flags in this post, and her odd behaviors should've been indicative of infidelity.

My point still stands: dump her and move on, or stay in a relationship with a girl who's cheating on you. Your choice, your life.

>be in a non-monogamous arrangement with someone
>feel annoyed and devalued when she doesn't want to have sex with you
You were asking for it.

Yes OP, she just did that to make the guy jealous

Also that comic is extremely fucking cringeworthy. Something about the art style.

>fuck buddy
>also fuck-with-your-emotions buddy

Hmmmmm...
Well without more specifics of the terms of your arrangement I think you're over-reacting even if it doesn't feel good to be used as bait for her to get with somebody else.

It's shitty for people to tease like that, but I expect you should be allowed to initiate stuff in the same way with the roles reversed.

I'd just let it go if it's truly a healthy friends-with-benefits arrangement... If it happens again clarify to make sure that she isn't trying to make you jealous... because then that's not cool

Yes, that's a lucid dream. I've experienced similar things a few times, never managed to sustain the lucidity for long. I basically always just start fucking the first girl I can see lol

>>18275787
Yeah this. Once you realize it, it's harder and harder to stay asleep, so I always try to find something to fuck. I might try to fly next time.
Also, for how to do it, iirc Wikihow explains it pretty well.

>>18275787
>>18275830
So for both of you, it just happens occasionally? What are your tells for the dream being lucid, do you just know somehow you're dreaming when it happens?

For me, the strange part was that I went from lucid to non-lucid before waking up, Like I said, it felt more that I dreamt that I dreamt lucid, and that I wasn't actually lucid, which was really strange.

Shave it all off

>>18275692
can you control these fucks once they get longer? They look like complete ass when they protrude out

>>18275894
I'm going for this look so I don't want to shave anything off just yet
I'm just wondering if I can somewhat manipulate them once they're long or am I cursed to have an old ragged bum beard.
Does it have to be long to get that "combed in one direction" look?

>>18275646
Well, yes - me. I'd be totally fine with it.
I am sure I never want to get married. I don't know if I want kids or not, but mostly no.

>>18275646

To be totally clear: if no-fault divorce did not exist, or if alimony did not exist, and could be guaranteed not to exist in the future, I would be fine with getting married. If we could define our own contract (don't start on prenups; they get thrown out all the time), that would also work. But that doesn't seem to be the case in western countries anymore.

Additional context: I tend to go mostly for women in other high-end professional fields. I work in tech. I tend to earn significantly more though, and will likely continue to do so. Some of my friends have already been through messy expensive divorces and I absolutely refuse to put myself through that.

>>18275655
Interesting. Do you think the rumors about "biological clocks" ticking are true, though? (Curious - are you my age or older?) It seems like many people, particularly people of the female persuasion, tend to believe they don't want kids but then change their mind later. Maybe I should try to find some sociology papers about this and see what the statistics look like.