Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1607. page

yes. you can literally gain nothing from doing that.

>>18336193
I guess technically he can burn the bridge with her even further if he does that. So he gains never any 'meeting-her-again-sex'

>>18336186
Don't do it. There's nothing to gain

because it work like a loan in bank, you must first show that you don't need one and living good without until you can get one

>>18336122
All you have to do is to have self respect, not putting girl on pedastal, and try to behave like a male who wants to get in her panties.

And obviously, doing everything for her is a sign of lacking
>self respect

Tldr keep trying until you find balance.

>>18336122
Dickhead

Don't worry about just take care of yourself like hygiene, weight etc and you'll get a bf. Maybe don't aim for the top 10/10 alpha chad males. Only reason you care about attractiveness so much is because you (a female) derive a lot of self-worth from it and our society places a lot of emphasis on it. In the long run you'll all be ugly so it wont matter. Just enjoy your life doing what makes you happy and don't take bullshit from anyone. Honestly who cares what you look like maybe its a hidden blessing. I guess it must be kind of annoying being really attractive and constantly getting hit on when you don't intend to do anything with them.

>>18336028
Nature makes a woman either pretty or not.

If she's pretty, end of story. If she's not, then she will be either ugly or beautiful.

And the choice is entirely up to her.

The trick is to embrace what nature gave you, decide that that is beauty, and wear it like beauty.

And believe it or not, the world will believe you.

Take a good look - a really honest look at women the world considers beautiful. Every one of them has a flaw that you don't notice unless you look for it, because they wear it like beauty. Mouth too big, eyes too small, horse face, double chin, nose too big, overweight, underweight - look through any current celebrity magazine and you will spot every one of those on someone the world has decided is beautiful.

And in every case that's because the woman decided to stop hiding or apologizing for the flaw, but to wear it with pride.

Too tall? Wear boots or high heels. Overweight? Wear colorful muumuus and be unmissable. Big mouth? Smile a lot. Big nose? Borrow Princess Diana's trick and always be photoed from above, looking up - because people don't see it in the photos, they'll stop seeing it in you.

>>18336044
Also, you say you try to overcompensate with personality but that's a bad way to go. You may think you're doing well but personality is so subjective you're probably not doing much.

Try to get involved into something else. Improve yourself in different ways. Do sports, play music, get involved with someone. Yes, people are attracted to beauty but also to displays of talent, effort and discipline.

Work on yourself, improve and you'll see how things change. Rise above petty attractiveness.

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>>18335924

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>>18335924
Fucking captcha

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>>18335924

>getting cucked by a familly member

>>18335897
>I feel like i am a placeholder
maybe but doesn't mean she ever fucked her brother or it could mean she likes that cologne

Do you trust the process? Do you trust your therapist?

>>18335791
What kind of meds if it's for like ADHD or whatever you can find alot of alternatives on line

>>18335833
Yes I do, I just feel like if I go through with it I won't be able to get better on my own and I'll only be able to feel better under medication.

Better start looking for a new roommate/place now

>>18335607
My best friend steals my money and frequently pukes on me, but at least she stays far from my boyfriends. You manage to be below her level. Impressive, OP.

depends. why is she his ex? how long since they separated? you know him better than we do. do you think he would mind?

Keep it to yourself and get over it.

Remove her from your life if you need to.

>>18335354
This
>>18335347
Do you really want her as a friend?

>>18335358
>>18335358
I want something more, but she probably doesn't.
Forgot to mention, she's my classmate. I can't remove her from my life for next 3 years. I can't do it for that long.

>>18335270
I think you're planning far too much into the future and counting your chickens before they hatch

>>18335294
Is it not a better idea to plan than to have no idea where I'm going wiv life at all?

>>18335373
join the military first (before you go to uni), then you get the bursary but you also get paid as an enlisted man the whole time youre studying. you will have to do slightly longer service afterwards, but its worth it

how do you mean 'immigrant irish'? are you in america or something and not ireland?

either way, most people who were involved are old and tired now. ill tell you a story, i moved to aus a while ago and became good friends with an irish family, who also knew all the other irish families near them. all the men were ex fighters, on different sides. throw me in and you have another. point is, we all made an effort to avoid that, and it just never came up. most people are glad to leave that past behind

Say that you know for a fact that it won't work out between them.

>>18335227
Then he'd ask why and I'd have to explain why. I don't want to do that.

>>18335217
Just set them up anyway. Who are you to decide who will hook up with who? A god?

>>18335198
Sorry to say this but.. if you're remotely attractive, or probably even if you're not, you will probably be hounded by guys. Within 10 minutes you'll probably have you starting to try to pick you up, and not all of them will be polite about it.

And, depending on how self assured and comfortable you are, this may or may not be an overwhelming experience.

You should also note that different bars have different clientele. A lot of more casual bars will start to kind of die down a little at about 11 because that's when they start heading out to the club. Inversely, some only pick up more after that.

You can actually avoid a lot more of that hounding at a gay bar, but also expect it to be kind of loud and crowded late at night. The crowd itself will probably be a lot friendlier though. And no, you don't have to be gay to go to a gay bar (I'm a straight dude, I've been to plenty. Sometimes with gay friends, sometimes with only straight friends). A lot of women go just because they feel safer and more comfortable at them (though I have seen some kind of creepy status dudes go to them specifically to pick up chicks).

IMO late night bars are cool sometimes, and it's something you should experience, but if you're not in to it, that's cool too.
I'm in my late 20s and I've already long since realized that I always prefer more chill environments, and I get claustrophobic and cramped as fuck when I'm at a packed bar that's blaring music for too long. It just feels like I can't do shit even if I wanted to and I'd rather have some personal space to do whatever I want, to be able to actually hear the people I'm talking to and make new friends, and to be able to actually order a drink without waiting 15 minutes. That's just me and I'm starting to old man it though lol.

Good luck. Happy drinking.

>>18335198
Just go. Chat up some dude or let somebody try to use PUA on you.

Just remember that finding honest long term husband material bf there is almost impossible.

You dont go to bars for a reason. Be it not liking hooking up culture, alcohol, degenerate music, being introvert who rather spend weekend alone or just because you didnt feel like it.

If you want bf or something like that, consider looking at this
>>18293702
it is not exactly meant for girls, but you should get the idea on where and how to look for bf.

And no, going alone to bar isnt considered being loser behavior. But drinking alcohol alone in bar is a solid start on becoming alcoholic. Still, girls have easier time hooking up with boys. Just make sure this is what you want and have condoms ready.

Good luck!

>>18335264
>Sorry to say this but.. if you're remotely attractive, or probably even if you're not, you will probably be hounded by guys.

>Sorry to say this
>as if this isn't exactly what she wanted to hear

Go OP. Have fun. Wear something hot. And who knows? If you're lucky I might hit on you.

Also, if you want to get a guy's attention while dancing, don't be afraid to just ram your ass into him. Sometimes that's the only way I know a girl is interested lol.

I blacked out and ended up in a hospital, gave myself some pretty severe organ pain from some long term binges and lost quite a few friends and several jobs

Never really did the aa thing, mostly white - knuckled it and switched to weed, no liquor for a few months now, exercising regularly and feel much better mentally but it was a very long struggle to quit, years with relapses.

Kratom can help if you don't have easy access to doc prescribed meds to treat underlying depression or whatever

>>18335168
Very bad way to go, OP... Death by alcohol can be a horrific death, especially if you end up getting addicted to the feelings and living for it for a while. Once you reach that point, you die in a hell of seizures and hallucinations.

As for me, I get drunk/do drugs because nothing else makes me feel alive anymore. Nothing is fun, or even remotely enjoyable. Love is still a powerful intoxicant, too, but when does that ever work out well for people like us? I often ended up drinking because I couldn't handle the crushing realities of my situation, and especially when I would abstain for a while and feel my normal emotions begin to come back.

Do you remember a time when you were happy, content, and blissfully ignorant? Probably when you were a kid, that's when it was for me, and likely most people. I couldn't imagine the level of mental pain that I have been in recently back then.

I suppose what we ought to take from this is: There may be a better future that our current selves can't comprehend as well. That's why I'm continuing on, really.

>>18335196
I might have to see about that. Grew up hard headed about taking any medicines, especially antidepressants. But these binges are catching up now the older I get.

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>>18334923
>You might be wondering why we don't just let him be.The truth is we don't really care, but this has had a negative impact on our mom's mental state and it's getting worse with every passing day. Quite frankly we think it'd be better if he could be honest about it so they can both go their separate ways and start seeing new people.
Sounds to me you should be speaking with your mom not your dad. It's her decision if this is a deal breaker for her or not.

>>18334930
Thanks for the reply.

We've never actually spoken to her about it. We just assumed she couldn't leave him (For some legal reason maybe).
Also, we figured that if she was free to divorce him at any time she would have probably done it by now.
We can tell that his preferences are what's getting to her. Maybe she just needs to see him admit it.

We're also afraid that us talking to her about it might trigger a breakdown.

You're right though. We'll probably have to end up asking her at some point.

In the meantime I'd like to know if there are any other ideas.

>>18334958
Poor mom. Married to dude who wasnt even sexually attracted to het in the first place. Just spawned few babies with her and now she is locked in house with ungrateful kids, sexless marriage and her husband rather watch porn than sex her up.

Reading stories like this always make me sad. She isnt dumb op. She has to know this. The fact is, she maybe hope you (her children) dont know yet.

This is what happens when people lie. It worsen lives everybody around them.

Talk to your mom, but i bet there is nothing you can do. You all know about it and thats that. Maybe open marriage?

Cheating could push your dad into rage and maybe divorce. If you think it is worth it.

>>18334773
are you asking about a hook-up or a committed relationship?

>>18334773
that is the only reason I ever hooked up with a girl.

>>18334860
Comitted relationship.

Let's say you've been with her for more than 1 year (ltr), because you know she's beautiful and you want no one else to have her.

pokemon cards*

Sounds like he's cheating on you, sorry.

Just watch movies together? Cuddle under some covers.