Anonymous
Can't seem to get over ex wife 2017-05-27 01:34:55 Post No.18354847
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Can't seem to get over ex wife 2017-05-27 01:34:55 Post No.18354847
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Can't seem to get over ex wife
Anonymous
2017-05-27 01:34:55
Post No. 18354847
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Bit of backstory:
>Aug 2016 she brings up divorce
>We been having issues lately
>Grass looks greener on the other side so I agree
>Nov 2016 I move out of our house and back in with my parents
>Jan 2017 divorce is final
>Don’t speak to her until one night in March 2017
>We update each other how we are doing. We vent a little. Make each other laugh, then say goodnight. (conversation was an hour long)
>I cry as soon as we hang up.
>Wake up the next morning still crying and decide to text her.
>Tell her how difficult this is for me and I miss my best friend.
> She just replies with a sad face emoji.
>Feel like it was a moment of weakness for me.
>Dream about her almost every night
>She texts me a few days ago saying “I need to talk to you.”
>Thinking it’s something important.
>Turns out to be something stupid.
>Cry thinking about all the past memories with her.
>Cry more thinking about she’s not the same woman I fell in love with.
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(Cont.)
Why can’t I seem to just let it go? I’ve hooked up with 2 women since the divorce to help me forget about her but that hasn’t helped. I work out everyday, I have a hobby I have fun with, I’ve moved cities, started a new job, but she’s still the first person I think about when I wake up and the last person I think about when I go to sleep.
I’ve been tempted to text her. I’ll be checking my email and see she’s on g-chat and I’ll want to just message her and ask how her day is and just talk like we were still together. I know I shouldn’t do that.
I’m sure she’s WAY past moved on. I’m sure she’s had 3 or 4 bf’s by now. I just bet she’s had a much easier time dealing with this than me.
Why is it taking me so long to heal?
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>>18354848
Why didn't you fight for your marriage instead of agreeing to divorce? Marriage is for like it's not something you drop when you hit bumps in the road
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You have to give it time. My parents got divorced 18 years ago and they both still have insecurities. Stuff like this just doesn't go away, you just have to force that smile. Don't wallow, but accept your sorrow and forgive yourself for feeling that way. This is the meaning of acceptance. You have to get past denial. Accept that you have these feelings and search endlessly for the light. It's all around you, truth be told. It's shining on you, but you have your eyes closed to it. That's okay. Everybody needs time. You have to be at peace with everything in your life though. What that means is staring your most hated enemy in the face and saying "I'm okay with you being who you are". If you can't change it then there is no point in agonizing over it.
It's a process that may take decades. Come to terms with that and try to put it behind you as well as you're able.
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My LDR boyfriend left me last night. I feel terrible, and will for a fair while, considering he was my first.
I'd visited him twice, and felt like I lost him after the first trip, but I kept going to see if he would want to stay in the relationship without saying anything. I miss him, and I just don't know what to do anymore. Most of my daily routine was centered around him, and I'm just missing a huge part of my life right now. We'd known each other two and a half years, and by his account, up until last night, it was going well. I'd been trying to move to the states to live with him for most of the relationship, and early on he pointed out that he might be able to help, but never did anything about it, and refused to help me get there at all. He ended up leaving me because he'd decided that it'd gone on too long, and he wouldn't forgive me for trying to apply for asylum so I could live there, since everything else I could and did try failed.
Guys, what do I do from now? I'm alone.
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>>18354788
find a local man who'll love you instead of this grass is greener b/s
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>>18354791
I see what you're saying, but I didn't go looking for a relationship when he found me
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I lost my virginity to a girl in a LDR. We were really compatible, but it was a very complicated relationship from the start. After she left I was depressed in the worst way; I just wanted the Earth to consume me, I'd lay in the grass at a park far away from home. Lost 5 years of my life dwelling on it till I decided to get a prescription for an antidepressant (it was the only thing that truly helped).
Time heals though, the problem is, that time is also very unforgiving to your body, so eventually you gotta move on if you plan to live at all. But don't take my statement as a command to be desperate either. In fact, now that you're depressed, this is the very worst time to be desperate and look for someone new.
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How do I make my gf (Jen) like my best female friend (Elise) again?
There used to be not a problem until my cousin mentioned how I used to have a massive crush on Elise when we was younger. Now here's the deal, Elise is a lesbo so it won't ever happen between us and I eventually moved on.
Ever since Jen found out about this crush all of a sudden seems to think that I'm 'differnet' with Elise compared with other friends and tries to bait me into admitting that she is attractive. And asking me dumb shit like if I would want to be with her if she wasn't lesbian.
How do i make my gf be less standoffish to Elise. Even Elise had noticed it and made a comment but I always try to deflect it.
like I don't want it to get to the point where they are legit beefing and I am made to choose.
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>>18354773
But you do have to choose, because your girlfriend is being immature and petty. You probably won't be with that gf forever anyway, and your friend is much less replaceable. Stick with the friend. I've been there. The girlfriend isn't worth losing a longtime friend. If she won't come around on this, break up with her.
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>>18354852
this post is wise wise wise
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Elise needs to fuck Jen. It's the only way.
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i was fucking this 16 yr old chick at her house and then her dad came home and saw us and i ran out the house and he knew me so he knows im 19 and he screamed "IM CALLING THE COPS!" and i just kept running and now im home and im scared as fuck. did i just ruin my life? should i text the girl and see what she can do?
image doesnt mean anything
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first anon
did you know she was 16?
did she lie to you? if yes, do you have any physical/material proofs? (texts,etc) beyond her verbally saying "im X age and not underage no siree"
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>>18354636
i totally fucking knew. holy fuck what shoudl i do seroiuss
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>>18354628
trash your house, beat yourself up ala fight club, if/when cops show up blame it on whatever minority lives in your area
Anonymous
child abuse causing mental health problems? 2017-05-27 05:32:10 Post No.18354462
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child abuse causing mental health problems? 2017-05-27 05:32:10 Post No.18354462
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child abuse causing mental health problems?
Anonymous
2017-05-27 05:32:10
Post No. 18354462
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between the ages of 3-7 i was heavily disciplined by my father when i acted up. i was usually hit with his hand or belt and it generally left welts. i always prided myself on the size of the welt because i thought to myself "yeah i got him really mad this time" i don't know why i did that but i did. anyway, i'm 18 and for some reason still think about it occasionally. i've had severe anxiety/depression since i was 14 and wondered if that maybe triggered anything... i have an extreme fetish for bruises and getting beat as an adult and i'm guessing it goes back to that but could it also have effected my mental health later on?
one time as a joke at 17 i said something to my dad that he was the root of all my depression and he got extremely extremely angry which shocked me because we have a great relationship now
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my dude it's simple
you have a fetish
good day.
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>>18354462
My father also disciplined me like that for every little thing I did wrong. He is totally different person now. When my wife met him, she couldn't believe he did that shit to me as a child. I'm 37 now and still think about that stuff. I actually find myself defending him whenever the topic comes up. I've also been through depression/anxiety.
I got over it more and more as I aged. I have a daughter and the one thing I don't do is lay a hand on her. When you have a kid someday. Don't be like dad and repeat the same shit.
I doubt your fetish has anything to do with your history, I don't like getting hit but I could always take a beating in a fight. Although, I do like slapping the wife's ass when we fuck.
You likely don't have a fetish. It's probably a faze. If it is a fetish, have fun with that.
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>>18354819
can i just ask what compels a 37 year old man to still browse 4chan? Genuinely curious.
Anonymous
Long Distance Relationship 2017-05-27 05:20:19 Post No.18354440
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Long Distance Relationship 2017-05-27 05:20:19 Post No.18354440
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Long Distance Relationship
Anonymous
2017-05-27 05:20:19
Post No. 18354440
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Long story short I think I fucked up a tad.
A long time ago I met a girl playing minecraft and our friendship has grown over the last 6 or 7 years we've known each other. ~5 months ago we decided to make it a long distance relationship, in two months she's coming to visit me for two months then I might go see her in america. The issue is there's things that i've told her about me years ago that just aren't true and I'm not sure if I should come clean about them or risk her finding out that these little things aren't true. I want to know what you think I should do.
The reason I lied about some things is that I never thought I'd have a lasting relationship with this person and was trying to sound cool but ultimately i'm completely autistic and didn't think ahead.
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>>18354440
Have you seen her? Do you know if she's a girl or a """"""""""""""girl"""""""""""""""". Has she seen you? What lies did you tell her?
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>>18354445
We have regular skype sex, if that's even really a thing, but I'm very sure she is.
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>>18354445
For the lies I told her I was born in russia i dont fucking know why its just that i speak a little bit of russian from my classes, and most of my background story is completely false
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Why am I so unable to talk to women?
I've gone out plenty of times to try and meet the sort of ladies I'm attracted to, and yet for whatever reason I can't get myself to actually go up to talk to them.
But... The weird thing is, I'm not scared at all. I've had girlfriends in the past. I can handle rejection just fine, it's nothing personal, so I think I can safely rule out nerves.
It's more like... Whenever I see someone I want to introduce myself to, I start to second guess myself. I think things like, "my hair doesn't look good enough," or, "these aren't very attractive clothes," and most often, "this isn't a good place to start a conversation."
So, convinced that everything is all wrong, I pass on the opportunity and move on. I never realize it's happening in the moment, but the as soon as I leave, I immediately regret wasting that chance, and it depresses me.
I tried again earlier today, and now that I've come home and thought about it, it occurred to me what was happening, and I realized... this might not be something I can fix on my own. Not completely, anyway. Something is blocking me psychologically, I think, and I don't have the faintest idea how to fix it.
What should I do? Should I get therapy? Should I just give up and wait until someone falls into my lap? No... That's not a very satisfying answer. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I even can do. The longer I go on like this, the worse it gets. My disappointment in myself deepens by orders of magnitude.
Jesus. I sound like a bitch.
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Lurking to find out answers that I need as well.
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>>18354371
What age are you? What is your physique like? What is your occupation?
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>>18354371
this will sound super cliche but desu you're just self conscious and getting less self conscious will help.
i don't think there's any immediate fix, but start working out. get a better wardrobe. get a nice haircut (not from one of those mega-chain places, local places will 9 out of 10 times have betters stylists)
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they say a man's sex drive dies as he ages. i don't know about you but that scares me. i want to be able to make love to my wife twice everyday for the next 50 years. how can i prevent my sex drive from dying as i age
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>>18354162
Boost your testosterone, which is almost impossible to do naturally.
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Her's will die long before yours.
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>>18354188
women's sex drives increase with age
>>18354173
so there is literally nothing to do but dangerous drugs
Alright, faggots. I'm probably going to regret this, but I was wondering if there are any other anons who've had a similar life experience and are willing to share their stories.
I won't bore you with all the mundane details, but basically I feel as if I've been depressed my entire life. I've always had trouble forming goals, relating to people, and just generally being functional. I have no longstanding friends, hobbies, or interests of any kind. The closest thing I've ever had to consistency about anything is a vague contempt for humanity and occasional existentialist musings.
I've heard it suggested that there's no such thing as a "point of no return," as it were, and that you can always rebuild your life. But that's the problem -- REbuild. As in, something that already existed. But I don't have any reference point. There's no one point in my life that I can point to and say, "this is where it all went wrong." It feels like my whole life is a mistake, and not in the sense that I'm some fuckup loser or whatever, but that I just kind of...exist, with no apparent values or desires or anything.
Have any of you felt this way? Did you manage to find an "answer"?
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>>18354110
My friend, me and you are alike. I feel like this everyday. I just deal with it by thinking that my lucky day will come along and it probably will. Just take a look at Hitler. He was in the same boat we're in and he became the most powerful dictator ever. So don't give in. Our day will come and we will crush everyone in our path.
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Hey Faggot,
I feel basically the same way. For some background, I'm smarter than the average cuck and apparently have a ton of potential, but god damn if I can't push myself to do ANYTHING. I'm like you; I don't have anything built up, so I don't even know what it's like to have something to work up to. How am I supposed to set goals if I have none? Yeah it'd be great to have a nice, well-paying job but how how the fuck does that happen? And how am I supposed to care about it if... well, if I don't care?
What the fuck am I doing. I wish I had someone to just do the inane bullshit that I can't make myself do, but I guess that's what makes me less successful than people who actually have drive.
God I wish I knew what motivation was.
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>>18354273
Another anon here, and I kinda feel the same way. It's hard to get your act together when you don't know what having your act together even means.
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give me one good reason not to end it all right now
I'm a white male, 6"0, 140 lb, and 18. I let politics get in the way of everything. I spend too much time on the internet, none of my "friends" ask if i want to hang out, and every girl I've been with has either led me on or left me for someone else. My parents raised me to be a Christian, but the church wants nothing to do with me. I fucking hate my life and I just want everything to go away and end.
Image unrelated, just a meme to get attention
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>posts cry for help
>thinks they have the balls to actually end it.
Find someone to talk to and gtfo
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Hang in there bud lifes not easy at 18. Study hard get a good job that pays good and life wont be shit when your finally in charge of it. Trust me when you leave home and take charge of your own life you will be alot happier.
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>>18354102
Kind of hard to when you're anxious piece of shit
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Today I got diagnosed with autism. I broke down in tears because it seems people absolutely just fucking hate people with autism. Autistic is now an insult on the internet, and it makes me terrified to be online. What am I meant to do?
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>>18353967
gtfo autist
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>>18353967
make it your best kept secret
it's what i do
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>>18353973
but the nature of autism means you can't always keep it secret
Anonymous
Need direction in life 2017-05-27 02:08:30 Post No.18353896
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Need direction in life 2017-05-27 02:08:30 Post No.18353896
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I'm almost 27 and I have an associates in arts/general studies but I never went to university after graduating because I couldn't decide what to go to school for.
I graduated almost 6 years ago and I work at costco for 14 dollars an hour and its slowly crushing my spirit. I don't know if returning to college is the right path or if I should look into a skilled trade of some sort.
All I know is I can't stay where I'm at now but I have no idea which direction to go in. Anyone else whos been in my position have any insight? I find the idea of a skilled trade appealing because the school/training will take less time for me to start making some money.
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>>18353896
I feel like you went for an associates in art for a specific reason, its not generally a degree that people just "decide" to do out of the blue like compsci
you're halfway to a bachelor's, why not go all the way? sounds like you have a steady job paying twice the minimum wage.
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>>18353918
I really did it because it was just something general I could do and not just tread water so to speak.
I like the idea of getting a bachelors but in what? I constantly hear about people getting bachelors and ending up 30k+ in debt with no job prospects. I think i'm a good student I had a 3.8 GPA in community college (granted it was pretty general stuff so most of the classes were easy) but I'm borderline retarded with math and I'm afraid of going into debt to pay for my bachelors and just wind up where im at now with no job prospects.
This could just be my narrow view of things but that is my general perception of it.
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>>18353928
>I really did it because it was just something general I could do and not just tread water so to speak.
>I like the idea of getting a bachelors but in what?
so you have no long-term career goals, dreams, or ambitions???
shit, I would figure that out first. you can't "tread water" forever (I mean you can but it might suck)
also worrying about debt and job prospects is secondary to figuring out what you want to do. there are always other options (scholarships, financial aid, dual majors, foreign universities, etc)
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I've met a girl; she's 20, I'm 32. The thing is, I've been lying about my age. She thinks I'm 20. We've been seeing each other for a few months now and I really like her. Oh and she also thinks I have a job, which I don't; I live on welfare.
Any advice? My plan is to get her to really love me and then tell her that I'm a little bit older, and that whatever something, I'll make something up,
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>>18353772
Pic related, you psycho. This won't end well.
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>>18353772
How about you start loving yourself instead and actually live with dignity.
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>>18353781
What pic
>>18353785
I love myself, that's why I lie to get young girls.
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/adv/ I need help
I met this girl on tinder, didn't think anything of it, thought I was going to get laid. Its taken off. Shes talking like how every other girl I've gotten serious with talks. She sends goodmornings, and I even fall asleep on the phone with her for her. I stayed up one night, muted when I took dabs to ease boredom, and honestly this woman falls asleep, sets her phone down, and doesn't hang up until she gets up for work to send me a goodmorning text. She sends me goppy relationshippy shit all the time. I think its too good to be true. I want to let this just happen but experience is leaving me questioning this all... but actually, what really leaves me raising an eyebrow is that she's changed her main picture three times. I acted like I deleted mine, put some shitty macro as my picture, said I deleted the account as the bio, but scope her from time to time.
Keep in mind:
>we've been talking 10 days
>im skeptical because I should know better
>we haven't met or gotten social media yet
>2 hour drive
>just really long (3 hours a day) phone calls
>falling asleep phonecalls (usually the receipt reads 9 hours)
>no funny business, just flirting, nudes, and some life things. opened up to me yesterday
Shes putting in a lot of effort, and shes starting to get me. I'm starting to really care about her, even though I've had my doubts. How should I continue to tread? I don't know what to feel or do. I'm basically flying this by the seat of my pants and its starting to feel really natural. Is she still active as a 'just in case'? I mean, I'd do the same thing.
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I understand being cautious but come on man she's falling in your lap
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ask her out.
This can be catfishing or just plain luck and there is one way to know.
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>>18353933
We've kindof already gotten to that point just unspoken. I wanted to actually spend a day with her before I actually address it.
>calls me babe
>emojiis. fucking everywhere.
>made plans, she canceled after she started period and cried about family problems
>on a phonecall that started at 8:00pm and didn't end until 5:00am
>went back to a maybe
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>3 months into relationship
>sex slowed WAY the fuck down
>have to initiate now, because she wont
??? What happened? She says stuff all the time like, she wouldn't know what to do without me, and how much she has started to love me, but why has the sex come to a halt?
When we do it, we both have a great time, but her desire to do it often has vanished. I feel like I've done something wrong, and I'm being punished or something.
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It's normal, chill
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>>18353736
Its normal for sex to come to a halt in a still new relationship?
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>>18353758
>Having sex three months in.
Unless it's a marriage, I think that's the problem.