Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1264. page

>>18484994
It sounds like both of you are stressing over making sure the wedding is "perfect. I get it, I'm 6 months into wedding planning with my own fiance, there is an absurd amount of pressure from family, friends, and the industry on how to plan your wedding the "correct way". One of my coworkers did the Vegas wedding and she said it was a blast. As long as you go into it with the attitude of "fuck it, let's do this" I say go for it.
If it helps, there was a piece of advice my rabbi gave for when we're planning our wedding; the event isn't a change of your own life status, it's a signal to your friends and family that the love you have is now official. Do what you guys feel is best, it's your day. Good luck and congrats.

>>18484994
Reminder that 50% of marriages fail and that you should make a marriage contract.

>>18485008
>>18485008
yeah man she's super laid back. we're a little older too so the pressure of full traditional is out the window. PLUS we've already lived together for 3 years and just bought a house. we move in on the 27th this month.

I think it'd be nice to walk into our new home as married folks!

thanks for your input;

a lot of what i've heard is the same.

people who go off and do it; had a blast.

I also heard big weddings = too much going on to enjoy the day.

thanks for your input

>>18485011
btw she's the money maker :P

>>18484982
I think you need to realize you may never get closure just because it simply wasn't a big deal to the other person. I'd say distance yourself from the other person and it should get easier, especially if you have other friends to associate with.

I once tried (and technically succeeded) to force closure out of someone and all it brought me was pain and disappointment. If they aren't a "deep" person, whatever they give won't satisfy you. I can tell you that.

>>18485031
>distance yourself from the other person and it should get easier
This. So much this.

If you can't get closure from the other person, then make it happen yourself by cutting off all ties with them. It sucks, and it'll likely hurt a lot at the beginning, but it's a lot healthier that way, imo.

>I once tried (and technically succeeded) to force closure out of someone and all it brought me was pain and disappointment. If they aren't a "deep" person, whatever they give won't satisfy you. I can tell you that.
This as well. I've had it happen to me numerous times; it sucks and is shitty.

If they feel anything or think anything of you, then let them contact you first. If they don't, then you know what kind of person they truly are.

I don't know you and I probably never will, but you don't deserve to go out of your way just to make things worse for yourself.

The fact that you're feeling bad about whatever happened between the two of you shows that you at least care a little bit about others. That's a virtue, imo, but don't let others walk all over you because of it.

It honestly sounds like they don't give a shit.

>>18485048

the whole situation between us is extremely complicated, and has made me miserable for the past few months since it's happened.

they're apparently really calm and chill according to other people in the group who know them. but they're also very harsh and unapologetic about it, and that was something i never liked about them. even if they only acted that way when it was warranted.

it's shit because they're into quite a few things that i'm into (anime, art, etc.). i'm reminded of them every time i talk to anyone else in the group. it's seriously starting to affect my depression to the point where it immobilizes me and confines me to my bed.

Just try to play it cool and don't make it awkward. I'm assuming you guys are pretty close, her hormones are going crazy, and she just got her signals crossed. Just tell her you love her too, but it'd be a mistake to do anything physical. Be a good brother and shit

Bad choice

She just fell for the incest memes. Teens are idiots, she'll grow out of it. Just don't encourage it and be ready to give her a reality check if she refuses to back down.

>>18484958
mmmm I was going to say maybe he's just weird but then you said the last part... that's really fucking weird even for me. Maybe he has a mental disorder and is going through a manic state? ask him if he's bipolar or been diagnosed with it or something... or maybe you're just making it seem weirder than it is

>>18484958
How long are you dating and how long are you living together?

Probably he finally feel comfortable around you enough so he stopped autocensoring himself when you are around. Expect him dancing naked around home.

This is the reason why you dont marry until you live 1+ year together. Because until then you dont know their hidden activities like this.

I bet you behave differently when nobody is around you as well.

>>18484970
It's very unlike his previous behavior. I might ask him.

>>18484946
>we got more drugs to help us get clean
I'm detecting a flaw in your logic, here.

>>18484948
Kratom is not a drug. The suboxone is I know that. It's supposed to stop withdrawals though and that's mainly the issue. The pain and then thinking all the pain can go away if we just pick up and smoke.

If it's gonna be more shunning then I'll gladly just wallow in my feels until I'm clean and you'll never hear from me again.

Judging by your post I assume you've never had an issue and never had to deal with the battle that comes with it. Otherwise you wouldn't be trying to extinguish the light of an addict wanting to get better

>>18484955
>I assume you've never had an issue and never had to deal with the battle that comes with it
Well that's a mistaken assumption, but I've never had to kick an opiate addiction, so you're right that I'm not very knowledgable about the specifics.

I do personally understand the addictive mindset and the idea to numb/ignore the pain, though. And I can tell you that the only way to get over that is to learn to endure that pain without reaching for an "off" switch.

I'd suggest rehab, or talking to a doctor, to get you through the dangerous parts of withdrawal. But it'd be a mistake to replace one chemical dependance with another. Some form of "cold turkey" is the only way. It's going to be a MAJOR lifestyle adjustment. But you have to. Because if you're still needing some substance that'll make you feel OK, you'll end up going back to the heroin sooner or later.

>>18484788
Kill Jews. Got it.

Haha you are a poorfag

Quick money:
*Donate blood *sell old stuff mercari shopping app or ebay. *get a job *use Microworkers *Sell gigs on fivver

From these you could probly make $100 a week if you do all. Getting a job is better though. All these will only make very small amounts of money.

>>18484772
Not necessarily because everyone is different. You need to focus on finding someone with similar values. Also, if you find an easy person, they'll have been easy before meaning they'll have been with a lot of people and they'll be easy again meaning they'll be gone quickly.

Don't fall the meme op. Don't become gay just because its easier.

If you want to try it then go for it but don't do it for the sake of fucking anything do it because you are actually curious.

If you do then just see if you like it and roll with it. If you still want a relationship with a woman after it then better put the effort in it instead of sucking cocks.

>>18484772

> it's easier

I have much better luck with girls than boys.

Boys are also gross, personality wise. They are never into the same stuff as me, and they loathe actual relationships most of the time. Whereas my straighter kinks are usually met by girls.

>>18484722
You can't, it's something natural. You either have it and feel it or you could try and act dominant, but it'll feel forced and unnatural to you.

>>18484722
Has NOBODY on 4chan ever heard of Google?

Google "bdsm for beginners" for the sexual stuff and "assertiveness training" for the rest.

I despair of the younger generation.

>>18484722
1
>Make eye contact in public with strangers. Do not look away until they have.
>Maintain your normal facial expression, maybe a hint of a smirk
>Learn to anticipate them breaking so you don't make a habit of it and look like you're sporting a 1000 yard stare
2
>Stop yourself from instinctively moving out of the way of others. Make it a choice. Make them know you made it by holding eye contact.

What do girls think of my music taste if I tell them I listen to Filk?

>>18484622
People don't give a shit about your music taste for the most part unless it has violent undertones.

Hey Ladies! (or guys if you into that kinda thing)

Im 27
5'7 (173)
185lb (about 83 kg)

Just finishing 10 years of military service.
No college, but kinda smart.
I'm not the most outgoing but im confident as fuck and can make you laugh.
I dont really keep up with new social trends and social media

I'm going to start going to university full time.
would you give a guy like me a chance?
At Friendship? At romance?

find a wing man who is out-going and assertive. let them do the heavy lifting (the intro is the hardest part). join a gym tennis club or whatever. girls travel in packs so should you.

>>18484611
Hello.

>>18484064
Online dating
Social events you hate
Friends friends coworkers family
http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/conversation

So what will it be?

>>18484611
You certainly need more experience. Life is great when you are ugly and know how to build your own petite cosplayer just for fun and profit.

If you want a tip, go for an old woman around her 40s. This will be easier for you because they are desperate for attention and because you won't be attracted to them, which solves your introvert fears.

After you fuck her for the first time. You will likely be fucking her like a rabbit for the first week and you'll be happy with that. It will show how much fun women can bring to your life.

Older women are promiscuous, she will teach you tricks you never imagined and then your mind will grow. Eventually you'll breakup and your mindset towards women changed.

Don't ask questions. You don't get to drive a Ferrari when learning how to drive, so don't complain and just do this.

>>18484549
Stay away from high school girls, its not hard and yes its creepy

Depends on a lot of factors. 4 years age gap would be nothing if you're both independent adults. But if she still lives with her parents, it's probably a bit creepy

Who gives a shit

i got out and i told my parents about the rape, they asked me to forgive them, and i did. they feel pity so they don't beat me as much anymore, i have gotten much better than i was, 11 months ago i was selling my body to 43 year old men, just to feel love, I tell this story for the betterment of others, so that by them knowing what i have gone threw, they can trust me with their problems, and that they know that they can get help too.

Help please..

>>18484049
Sounds like quality bait.

>two dates
>isn't even comfortable holding your hand
Uh, that's not a girlfriend, even if you're 14.

>>18483602
imo hand holding is more intimate than the kiss

Take your time with the butt grab

I knew that talking about his bipolar disorder could seem offensive and insulting when spoken in that matter. Before confronting him, I briefed him that before I say anything, to know that I was not trying to be insulting or offensive, but just wanted to know more to support him. Unfortunately, me telling him that before bringing up the topic of bipolar disorder didn't do good and it still hurt him. I believe that the part that hurt him the most was the part of the hypersexuality, to him it sounded like I thought he was cheating. I have paranoia and anxiety issues. Like to the point to where I had trouble trusting friends and family. This spilled over to the relationship. At first I would question my boyfriend about cheating for absolutely no reason. I had no justification. I did this several times throughout our relationship, but I kept improving. I managed to calm my anxiety and paranoia, but I wasn't quite done yet. But I was almost there. But when I read about the hypersexuality thing, I didn't suspect him of cheating, but I was worried about how strong the urge of hypersexuality was in him. So I brought up the topic of bipolar disorder with him, asking him about mania, and then I brought up the hypersexuality thing. Then to him, it seemed like I was questioning his loyalty and that combined with his manic state, broke the camel's back.

I was very shocked because we had a good relationship that was very strong. But the moment was a bad one and he impulsively told me he wanted to end. After telling me this, he seemed like he lost all empathy and feelings. He began to shun me and smile as I was in tears while acting very causal and mighty and almost emotionless. I knew this wasn't the normal him. I worry about him because he told me that he hasn't taken his medication in a while. I did the mistake of messaging him a lot hours after the breakup. My therapist told me that I should give him space so he can cool down and that not messaging him in return should bring him back to talking terms.
This happened Thursday night, and I don't know how long manic episodes tend to last with him. Sometimes it seems that he goes through an episode for a few hours and then becomes completely normal again. I gave him space yesterday and today only sent a single message saying that I'm here for him and am supportive of him and that I am ready to talk whenever he is. I don't know how long a manic episode lasts. I want to know how to approach him, because he might still be going through the episode and may react in a negative way to anything I may say or do.
And I have no idea what goes through a person's head when they are going through a manic episode, only from what I read a little bit. I am wondering on how to approach him, because he is a very important person in my life that I do not want to lose. What is the best way to approach him or deal with the current situation to get him on talking terms? Everyone and my therapist told me to give him space and time by not messaging him for a while. But how long is too long? How much time should I give him? I haven't messaged him since Saturday. Thank you everyone for your answers.

I hope I can get some answers from you guys, thanks.

Yeah these are mostly true, but a sensual kiss is still something. If she's not a virgin and she keeps being willing to hang out I would not expect sex to take more than a month

File: 1448953147179.jpg (447KB, 1632x1224px) Image search: [Google]

447KB, 1632x1224px

>>18483461
I see, it was somewhat sensual. It was our 3rd date, and she knew I wanted to kiss her because I fucking told her I did on the 2nd date haha. So, knowing she approved, I went in for it and she smiled and said "about damn time." From then on we made out a lot, and it really seemed to have "progressed" the relationship, if you will.

She is not a virgin, afaik, as she's 20 and has had 2 boyfriends in her life. But as I said, it is nearing 2 months and I do not know how to subtly invite her to sex. She is cool in that she knows I'm a weirdo and is okay with it, but she also points out how to be normal, should I choose to be. So she helped me with kissing, and she did say 2 weeks ago "you need to be more aggressive, I'm surprised my bra came unhooked." Yet, she still stops me from reaching into her pants. So I'm confused.

>>18483484
What she is trying to say is that you need to be less nervous. When you are kissing her and rubbing her thigh you need to tread that line between giving in to your natural urges and teasing her. It's not to difficult and you'll know it's working because she'll get goosebumps and breathe heavy. Girls can sense stress and nervous movement/ rigid touching and it turns them right off. Ultimately even if you are not the most confident dude on the planet try to imagine yourself as a big cock muscular alpha. You'll.love like one and to her ( at least at that point) you may as well be one. Right now it sounds like she thinks the nervous thing is cute and she is flattered by you, maybe boosts her ego hanging with you so don't be surprised if she just recoils Though. If a girl is sexually attracted to a more dominant type you have to mask on from the start or they will know. Anyway there's still a good chance for you if your a good looking guy and you both get a bit tips. She might always just be on her rags if she pushes you back but still wants to hang. Don't stick around for too many months though or your just being an ego trip for a bitch.