Anonymous
how the fuck do you move on? 2017-07-03 02:04:33 Post No.18479333
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how the fuck do you move on? 2017-07-03 02:04:33 Post No.18479333
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how the fuck do you move on?
Anonymous
2017-07-03 02:04:33
Post No. 18479333
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>in relationship for two years
>she has depression, suicidal thoughts, jealousy, asked me a couple times to try and physically abuse her, got mad if I ever told her to see a therapist or get on anti-depressants, became psychologically addicted to weed
>stress caused me to get angry, gain weight, misjudge tons of shit
>graduate from college and get a job across the state
>she says that I will find another woman and constantly talks about me leaving her
>return from Hawaii trip I had with her in August
>two months later she breaks up with me
>10 months on and I still can't stop thinking about her
I don't know how to fucking do it. I know this relationship was fucking killing me but I can't stop thinking about it nor the really fun times we had. Hawaii, a seahawks game, her being at my ER surgery, the dates. My brain is constantly reminding me of these good moments.
what makes it worse is that all my college friends are all the way across the state. They rarely visit so I tend to be alone with my thoughts which has driven me to hike a shit ton and workout. but those haven't killed off my feelings and I'm at a loss on what to do.
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Anonymous
how to talk to an ex again 2017-07-03 02:00:14 Post No.18479317
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how to talk to an ex again 2017-07-03 02:00:14 Post No.18479317
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how to talk to an ex again
Anonymous
2017-07-03 02:00:14
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I haven't talked to my ex in almost a year, but we stopped talking because I end up dating someone. We were talking and friends before I dated someone else.
Now I've broke up with that girl and wish I did a long time ago bc I've been thinking about my ex ever since I started dating the new girl.
I wish to be her friend and talk to her again. Her bday is coming up, should I send a gift anonymously to her house? I don't want to write my name on it because I think she hates me despite us talking and being friends before dating someone new. But I think sending a gift would be a good way to talk again because it shows I still care.
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Send a gift. Say "Hi, happy birthday, is everything going well with you?" And wait for the comeback. That worked pretty well for me.
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>>18479446
okay. Nervous about sending a gift because her parents will see that it's addressed from me. My first idea was to wait until it's been almost a year since we've talked which would be like September
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Whats the absorption difference between orange and blue silicon desiccant packs?
Which one will reduce humidity in a container to a greater degree?
Which one has a greater total absorption capacity?
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> /sci/
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>>18479308
there's probably no difference besides taste
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>>18479510
This. The blue ones are sweet while the orange ones are spicy
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How to get over someone who won't tell you what's wrong?
Like if they suddenly start avoiding you, but never let you know what's wrong, what you did wrong, what issues they're having, etc.?
Also, am I a bad friend for just moving on if they give me no explanation, or just something very vague?
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As someone who's had this done to me and who has also done it to other people... I don't know.
I would say it's okay if you move on and forget about them, it wouldn't make you a bad friend. I mean they are the ones who are actively killing your friendship, by not telling you what's wrong, right?
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>>18479306
Yeah, but what if they are telling the truth and it's not just vague bullshit? then i look like a weird obsessive person.
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>>18479301
You let it go.
Life comes with no guarantee of closure. Sometimes things go wrong and you'll never know why. If you get into the habit of not being able to get over things unless the end of it makes sense to you you're going to be doing a lot of pointless agonizing.
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Been hanging out with this super cute girl and we're really similar and like the same things. Recently she told me she liked me, and I told her I felt the same but she wasn't ready to tell me, and I feel like a dick now. Later that night I asked her if she wanted to go out, and she said no, and insisted that we just stay friends for now and maybe in the future we can be something more. She's a very introvert person and we used to talk constantly but recently I'm the one that always has to say something to have a convo. So I stopped talking to her for a couple days seeing if i could get any response, because i figured if she gave a shit she would text me. So I asked her why she seemed like she didn't want to talk to me and she said I've been acting the same way, and that she figured the same, that if someone cared enough they would text them. I've just been a depressed sack of gay lately and don't know what to say to her, I truly feel she is the one I want to grow old with, and I might just be pushing her away by texting her.
I'm constantly depressed and I've been contemplating suicide for the last couple months and when I met her, she distracted me from all of the shitty things going on in my life, and I got so caught up in my love for her that I may have rushed it, and now I feel as if she wants nothing to do with me. She was the reason I had motivation to do anything. She made me want to work for something like we had a future together. I feel as if I need someone to provide for besides myself and feel I every need to do absolutely nothing and give up, what the hell do?
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>>18479258
>I told her I felt the same but she wasn't ready to tell me, and I feel like a dick now.
what?
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>>18479273
She said she wasn't ready to tell me how she felt.
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>>18479258
I think maybe you should have a conversation with her about how the two of you feel, what you're looking for, and most importantly, about not playing games. I would suggest not trying to hold this conversation by text.
I think it's very likely that she wasn't ready to tell you that she liked you because she doesn't actually like you enough to invest the effort in maintaining a real relationship with you. I could be wrong though.
However...
You know that you want a romantic relationship. You know that this girl might be really inappropriate for that because the way she behaves isn't the way someone you want to be with behaves. Good communication might resolve your issues, but it might not.
Anyway Instead of just saying "oh, this isn't working I give up on everything", why don't you tell yourself "Ok, I know that being in a relationship is worthwhile and will bring me happiness, but I need to find that with someone more suitable" and then find that more suitable person. If you don't think you have enough to offer someone else, why not work on that, instead of just giving up?
Anonymous
I done goofed, is it too late? 2017-07-03 01:19:33 Post No.18479196
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I done goofed, is it too late? 2017-07-03 01:19:33 Post No.18479196
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I done goofed, is it too late?
Anonymous
2017-07-03 01:19:33
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So there is this girl that I've kind of known for quite a few years (I frequently shopped where she used to work)
Last year we started getting a bit friendlier and she gave me her number saying I should come over to her place sometime. We texted back and fourth for a while but nothing ever happened because we had conflicting work schedules so there really wasn't much of a chance to get together, even though I really wanted to and she seemed pretty interested.
Around late July-August all the acid and other drugs I was using put me in a really bad place and I stopped texting with her and pretty much ignored her when I saw her because I convinced myself she was poisoning my soul and I was better off without her.
When she told me she was going to be losing her job I didn't even give a "wow that sucks", and on her last day I never even said goodbye.
So I haven't seen or talked to her since the day before Thanksgiving, and ever since New year's I've felt really bad and have been missing the hell out of her. I wanted to call or text since then but never did, then the other night I had this dream about her a couple nights ago and for the past couple days she's all I can even think about. I just can't get her out of my head.
Did I dun goof, and is it too late to try and get back in touch with her? I'm mostly in a much better place than I was a year ago and I just want to feel the way she made me feel again. No matter how shitty my day was going she was able to put a smile on my face, I just want to smile again.
What do /adv/?
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we cannot really tell you how to be motivated. its not a multi step process. even if it was, if you arent motivated to just work out, how would you find the motivation to do something to get you motivated to work out? its a flawed concept.
the best thing you can do is create some small goals and try to meet them, and build up to bigger goals. the high gets bigger with every accomplishment.
you can also try other systems that don't rely on SELF discipline. Slave system (like when you were younger, you did what you had to do in order to avoid punishment). Reward system, you give your self candy or ice cream or your favorite video game at the end of the day only when you accomplished your goals. Buddy system, where someone who also wants to do this or something else works with you and you work with him on each of your goals (this ones a bit flawed as you might just end up bringing the worst out of each other). then there's mentor system which is where you have someone who DOES run the marathon force you to get up every morning and run with him until you get there.
none of these require self discipline, there is motivation but it comes from external forces, and while it can help get you to the finish line and learn your real potential you will likely just fall back into your normal routine once that system is no longer in place.
the fun thing about self discipline is that everyone CAN have it, and its pretty literally just a choice. you can choose to do something. just because you CHOSE not to do it doesn't mean you can't do it. you literally can. but most people can't wrap their minds around the concept. they've convinced themselves they 'can't. simply because they 'won't'.
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>>18479088
heres the thing though: you don't need to WANT to do something in order to do it. even if you hate doing it, you can just do it anyway.
thats how you find out who you really are.metimes you meet people who say they want to be a writer. then five years later they still say they want to be a writer. and in that time they will have written nothing but maybe a chapter of a book, and some fanfiction.
anytime you ask them how writing is going they will say 'oh i got writers block'. despite never even having a basic writing break through, they will claim writers block. despite them not knowing how to write, never actually writing anything, and hating it when they do write, they will insist that they are a writer.
you are the less obsessed version of that. You see something that LOOKS interesting, then you try it, and it isn't something you enjoy, so you leave. the writers i mentioned earlier are like you but they are obsessed with the idea because of the lifestyle it brings to their imagination. its almost like saying you are a youtuber. you just want to be looked up to for no real reason.
so you are at least one step ahead of the vapid people. and there isnt actually anything wrong with you per se, maybe something small, but ultimately if you don't enjoy something, and its not going to bring you something you really want, why do it? its okay to give up on things and just move from one thing to the next, cuz you're not 'giving up'. giving up implies some sort of commitment. imagine if any time you broke up with a girl that you didn't like you said you 'gave up'.
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>>18479089
the only REAL issue here is that you might be giving up on things you WILL like or WILL give you something you want/need simply because you are used to instant gratification. working out isn't fun, no one really enjoys it per se, but people stick with it because of the results they get. even though running a marathon sounds stupid to me, to actually just set a goal and see it through can be beneficial in and of its self, and when someone like you is directionless, something as generic as a marathon might be what you need to realize your potential.
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Quick question lads..
What type of college or school would i need to go to do both animation.. 2d Cartoons etc and at the same time do Design.. Such as house designs for construction etc..
Like i dont wanna be restricted to only 1 Specific company with 1 category but instead different types that order me to either animate or design for them..
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Have a big job offer in the states that'll be travel based and pay about 100k. Am I a dumb fag for thinking of turning it down for something that would have me in a stable place but only pay 50k? It's about 60hrs a week and I have to leave everyone I know including a girl I've been seeing since the new year, and a part time job that I really enjoy doing on weekends.
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>>18479081
No your a scared fag. But the fear is good follow the fear and you will grow as a person, don't and you lose out on that growth. We all like the safe and comfortable. But does anything great come from the safe option?
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>>18479081
i dont think its dumb. the big bucks is because you will lack stability and on top of those 60 hours you'll just be stuck whereveryou are. that can be a very fun experience but if you arent interested in the idea, why force your self to do it? 50k is more than enough to live off of and it has the benefits of actually being with your people.
id take the 100k job in an instant, but mostly because i love to travel and dont have that many attachments in my city.
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>>18479113
>>18479134
Good points, I'm almost for sure going with the big job, it's just that after this weekend there's really no turning back so I was having second thoughts.
Didn't think of it in the light of being scared but you're totally right. Nothin ventured, nothin gained and all that I guess.
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I've had this type of bumps in my arm for the past three weeks, they appeared out of nowhere I'm starting to worry, I was hoping they will go away eventually, sometimes it itches a lot. I know I gotta go to the doctor, but if anyone has any info on what is it, I'd really appreciate it.
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Aids
L
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Go to a doctor, at least a cheap one. Diagnostics cannot be made by a photo or a description. That's the Best advice anyone can give to you .
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a friend of mine (already pretty messed up in the head) says that when she is with other people and feels anxious she begins to talk with other people in her mind (real people, only not there atm). She also had episodes of depersonalization in the past. She is already in therapy with a good therapist i reccomended her, but i'd like to know a bit more about the situation: should i be worried? is she going to become a psycho? what can i do for her?
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>>18479008
No it probably has to do with shitty parenting. I've done the same shit. With therapy she will get better.
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>>18479098
afaik her father was caught with 50 grams of weed "for personal use" and he made two other daughters with two other women during the last two years so yeah, you're probably right about shitty parenting. I hope you're right about therapy too
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Wait, is talking to people who aren't there not normal? I've done it since I was twelve. I just think out the conversations, I don't actually start speaking my part of the conversation out.
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/adv/
I'm living in my small hometown for the summer. I'm a very much closeted bicurious dude, so I downloaded grindr. I've been talking to this fem dude who's near me and looks kinda qt. Obviously he's asked for a picture.
How bad of an idea is it to send a picture? I'm super nervous/anxious that it'll somehow get out, or he'll recognize me somewhere or something. He said it's fine if there's no face, but still it's obviously pretty recognizable.
What do?
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>>18478943
send a pic. if theres no face neccesary whats the issue? gays are used to keeping straights secrets. no straight guy would approach us if we outed them, so we kee p things discreete so we can keep playing iwth closeted guys.
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>>18478943
Be yourself what's the point of living your life if all you do is try to hid who you are. Faggot I want you to have this femboy blowing you in the middle of your small town YELL IT THROUGH YOUR SOUL "IM BICURIOUS". Who cares what others think.
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>>18478957
as I said it's still pretty recognizable due to shirt and my phone hahah.
>>18478967
unfortunately I'm living with my parents through the summer and he's a bit of a homophobe, and a few friends might not take it too well, you know? I also don't it to be this big thing if it turns out I don't really like being with dudes
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>be friends with "Jake" for years
>lately when Jake invites me over (he asks I come at a specific time) he texts me like 10-20 minutes before (I live 15 minutes away so I am already driving) saying he's "too shot from work" to hang out
>one day he asks me to come over at a certain time
>before then I go visit mutual friend "Nick" at his work
>tell Nick I am visiting Jake and ask if he wants to come, but was already hanging out with "Ben"
>suggest we all go to Jake's
>ask Jake and he gets autistic about Ben coming over his house (usually Jake, Nick, and I hang out together at Jake's house)
>suggest we all go to Nick's house instead
>he says he is "too shot from work"
>I tell him I am going to Nick's house because it's a 2 minute ride home to my house and it is a change of scenery, and that he can come if he changes his mind
>he gets mad and says that I "promised" to come to his house and that I am "choosing" them over him
>try to tell him that I can't help it if he is too shot from work but he just doesn't listen to reason
Next time I see him he says something like (I'm paraphrasing) "I think we should only hang out when we're all together because we're like a group of friends like the characters in Big Bang Theory." I try to point out that he is basically acting like an abusive spouse who doesn't let their spouse be around anyone else, and also that the characters in sitcoms have their own side plots that only involve one or two characters at a time, but he insists we don't care about him, we're "drifting apart," etc.
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>>18478922
This guys fucking delusional.
Who likes Big Bang theory, seriously.
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>>18478922
He sounds narcissist
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>>18479027
He said he likes it "because it's funny but also because it's scientific."
>>18479036
Yes he is.
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I need help on how to move out and how to budget. I'm 18 planning to move out of my parent'S soon and maybe go to college or the chair force , I don't have a job yet so that's my first goal. Any tips?
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>try your local grocery store for a job or temp agency
>look for apartments online and think of what your going have to do to pay rent bills and other shit
or
>ignore jobs go to college and get on food stamps live with your parents till you get out and get a good job
at any time at getting a job, you need either a passport or legal id and not sure if you do but your social security card aswell that goes for getting an apartment aswell.
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>>18478845
if you have any construction skills, have heavy arm strength or anything, that has labor or trade school qualities i would try a union or the temp agency.
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>>18478845
Thank you very much! I think I'll stay and go to college and try to work as an engineer when I get out.
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Going on holiday for two weeks with a freind.
I'm looking forward to it but I do like my quiet time.
We're going to have to share a room so I'm not sure how I will get any quiet time to just be myself if I have no privacy.
Any advice?
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>>18478825
you can always stay in if he goes out or simply go down to a lobby. people will be there but you'll feel less crowded.
you get used to it fast but by the time you head home you will feel exhausted.