Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1105. page

Hard to get customers if you don't want to talk to them

>>18500085
There are various degrees of everything. However, to be in business you have to be outgoing enough to meet with customers, understand their needs and deliver on those promises. If you are successful enough, you can hire people to do that. So, being an introvert doesn't make it impossible, just harder for you as you will be forced to function as an extrovert at times.

>>18500085
>Is being introverted really a disadvantage?
Being introverted and shy aren't the same thing. Being an introvert isn't inherently a weakness and one can still have social skills, whereas being shy is always a disadvantage

But since you are trying to start a business, being introverted sure as hell doesn't help you

Yes, there are pros and cons to every stage of life. Focus your attention where it needs to be.

>>18500166
what are the cons of being 21?

>>18500189
being too young to be considered by society as a seasoned and refined individual because they assume those in this age bracket lack experience but also too old to be a whimsical innocent child

>>18500069
She tells me she still wants me to go visit her but I feel like it's just for my sake. She's told me that I'm taking this much more seriously than she is and I can tell it's really starting to take a toll on her. The last thing I want to do is make her feel trapped and uncomfortable. Regardless of how this relationship turns out I still want her as my friend because she's a good person and is helping me grow.

Should I just let the relationship go and move on or try to work things out?

>>18500081
There is no right answer for this one, and desu take everything I'm about to say with a grain of salt.

I was just involved in an online relationship and she was much more invested in it than I was and in the end (for some more complicated reasons I won't go into) I got scared and ended it. I've been regretting this decision for weeks now but due to circumstances didn't have much choice at the time.

If she isn't telling you not to go then she probably still has some interest in you, but you might want to just slow things down a bit and see how she feels about it all. Also the best thing I can tell you to do is to discuss your feelings openly and honestly with her as hard as that may seem it really does strengthen a relationship.

>>18500119
I've been trying my best to be open about problems with her. I'm happy she's comfortable enough with me to tell me that this is a bit much for her to handle but I don't know how to go about making her feel better other than slowing things down by giving her some space and time to process things.

I've definitely been trying to voice concerns to her but I'm a huge overthinker and have some big insecurities so I think there's a certain point where I'm just dumping everything on her in an unhealthy way.

Thanks for the response, anon.

You'll be fine, men don't mind girls with sexual inexperience for long term commitment. Just make sure your feelings are since and that you're not some hypocrite and downright liar like some women

>>18500067

He probably won't leave you. He has spent his years riding the pussy tunnel and now wants to settle down with an untouched, subservient, easy to influence (not offence) younger girl.

You're who he is settling for, which sounds bad but it isn't. It means you're probably his idea wife material and unless you fuck up, he'll probably stay with you (at least until you have kids and grow older).

>>18500078
Haha I don't take it as offensive, it's true. There is a power imbalance based on experience and the fact that he took my virginity. I want things to work out because I don't want to ever sleep with another person, so I am indeed probably easy to manipulate for him.

>>18500002
>I am just really indecisive and can't decide if I should just move on, but I've never really felt this way about someone before and it's a struggle to deal with these feelings now.

sounds familiar, however:
age difference isn't just a stigma. people change, almost all. if they don't change with age then they are a little bit on the dumber end of society, no personal offense meant. you will most likely change your general attitude about life at least twice before you are 30 and she will do 5 times before she is 20. are you sure you wan't to "risk" that? I know feelings make people blind, but it seems to me like you are headed for disaster.

>>18500055
That was one of the reasons I was hesitant to date her in the first place, and an extra reason as to why I ended it, but you're probably right, I'm just hurt and blinded by feelings because I still want to go back again.
But it was clear that she really did love me and desu I'm not sure she would accept me back now anyway, if I had changed my mind within the first week then 100% she would have but now it's a bit more unsure cause I know I hurt her.

>>18500060
I did not write "desu" in there, is this a new 4chan meme?

-Honest, disciplined
-Make people laugh (w/ me, not at me)
-Above averange looking
-Talanted in some aspect
-Have read drive/ambition
-Will probably be admitted to uni next year (electrical engineering)
-Probably intelligent
-Some financial indepedence (I do some computer stuff when I don't have much schoolwork)

That's all I can think of/worth mentioning I suppose. I'm 18.

I've been told by a handful of people that I'm an interesting person, etc.

I don't fucking know anymore.

>>18499946
Honestly OP, girls these days are getting dumber and dumber. It's going to be hard to find a smart, modest girl. Feminism is filling their brains with "fuck any one you want, body count doesn't matter! Eat that steak AND whole chocolate girl, you don't need a man to complete you! Yes girl, don't shave your body hair, FUCK BEAUTY STANDARDS!!"

If you do get admitted to a uni try finding a shy girl that stays away from parties and such. However id you can't wait that long I've noticed many girls that browse 4chan fit your desired traits. /soc/ always has threads up for people to chat and if you don't mind an ldr you'll be in luck

>>18500070
Yeah, I've lurked /soc/ out of curiosity, problem is, there seems to be none from my country.

Fucking place is filled with normies, never have I met a person irl who knows about 4chan, let alone browse soc.

Fuck me, I just cater for some affection, and in the end, I just feel emptier inside than I was before.

I'll also add, I've watched some cs videos which I loved. I don't want to spend any money on education i can get for free and I just ultimately want a job that I enjoy.

I get this scary feeling that the math/science/eng courses I'll be taking won't help me in any way for a job. Although they will be fun I can get the same education at home.

>>18499933
I've been through that. Only took a degree when basically knowing how to program like a true pro and only turned professional engineer after my 30s, doing a completely unrelated profession before. Don't go to uni, that's really a waste. Learn to program on your own, there are tons of resources, videos and tutorials.

My life advice: learn something that people need.

Forget normal programming, I can hire three Indians do write code in a way you would never be able. Right now you should be looking at machine learning.

Do the machine learning exercises. Start writing a blog with your experience getting started on this field.

Then, start doing semi-useful stuff such as predicting if the stocks are going or down for a given country considering how much the weather temperature is changing there.

These are two mostly unrelated topics but they're a good exercise and will get you attention when publishing the results on your blog. Then mention you blog on the hacker new forum from y combinator (that's where the startups hang up).

When you're comfortable doing stuff on machine learning, you easily get a job at any of those startups because your skills will be I'm high demand.

I hope this helps.

>>18499922
Move on.

>>18499922
You don't. Find a girl who likes you and doesn't have a bf.

faggot
You only think he's a loser because you're her beta-orbiter
move on

>>18499910
had two girlfriends for many years altogether that naturally came to be from playing online games, getting lovey dovey and then meeting up.

recently broke up and i was an adult older than you, having never asked a girl out. when i realised im interested in that one that i see frequently i just made a plan to surprise her after an event, sat her down and asked will she go out with me. it's that simple really

>>18499936
it s simple really

triggered


cheg ur brivilege dddd

>>18499910
Confidence and independance are the most attractive traits that women look for in men. What that means is that you're going to have to stop worrying about what other peoe think about who you are. Getting off any social media that is self-masturbatory like facebook and instagram would be a huge help.

Want a good reason not to worry what people think? They don't know you, what you need in your life to be happy, or what is good and fulfilling for you. They don't have your beat interest at heart. The reason they judge and criticize you is because they want to climb on your back and hold you under the water to keep themselves from drowning, despite the fact that it just means you'll both go down to the depths. Feeling that you have to meet anyone elses expectations or measure up to some unwritten standard is folly, and will ultimately land you into an unhappy situation.

Look around yourself, look at your life, and point out thw things that are good and give you pride within it. Point out the accomplishments. Look for areas of improvement within reason and fix them, but beyond that... Motherfuck what any nosey little assfucker thinks about your personal sex life. There's no "oh gee it's too late for love!" momebt in life. My grandfather is a widower at 78 and HE is going out on dates with a 72 year old girlfriend. It doesn't matter how many circuits around the sun you made. What matters is are you mature enough, is it the right time for you, and is it the right person. Don't go out looking for sex because all you'll find are succubi. I have sex with my girlfriend pretty much at will, but given the option sometimes I still prefer to browse /gif/ and get myself off to something... Different. Sex isn't really all it's cracked up to be. Don't get me wrong, it's awesome, but it isn't going to change your life.

Hope this helps. Quit worrying about what everyone else is doing.

may want to add that I am going away for a few months, even if all was going well nothing could start now. can i look at it as a chance to calm down and let her sort her life and then have a go at her again?

I'd back off a little, see if she comes back after you.
Worst thing to do is keep pushing, it looks needy, and could turn her off completely.
Unfortunately you can't make someone love you, so don't keep trying.
However that's just my experience, take it with a grain of salt.
Good luck anon.

>>18500803

thanks. actually i already thought she definitely isn't interested in me. i had to go away on a trip and basically i backed off didnt believe i would hear from her again because of how last conversation went. but two weeks later she messaged me asking how i am doing. and ever since the base for meeting was me asking every once in a while, her agreeing and having a good time. always me asking. and she would always find time between appointments, even if it would take a week.

now i am guessing she will keep contact, but having stated that she isnt ready for a relationship - i wouldnt know how to deal with it really.

Dont try to fuck on the first date you whore

>>18499884

Never said it was the 1st date asshole

>>18499886
Then he is actually gay or his dick is broken ask him about it

get stem'd

>>18499853

I can't give you a 100% answer about what a social worker does. I would have to Google it, which is what I recommend you do for your major and see what careers (both directly and indirectly) you will be qualified for.

But I really, really want to emphasize that you shouldn't go into a major you don't like unless you're just obsessed with money more than anything in the world. I work in business (marketing to be specific), and I constantly dream and wish I had continued on to be an English or Journalism major. I guess I'm lucky enough to be pretty talented at what I do, and I make tons more money at my age than I ever expected to, but sitting around numbers all day is soul crushing work, and I'm so drained and exhausted by the end of the day that I have no room for these passions.

It's Sunday, and I'm going to spend the entire day dreading work tomorrow, drinking until I pass out. I'm envious of the copywriters in my department that make about half of my income, but get to spend all day writing and using their creativity... A dream I'm accepting at my age is just over, and I may as well work my ass off and retire and maybe buy myself a Bugatti to drive to the grocery store when I'm 50.

Last point: I can almost always tell when some business major kid decided to take that route because of the almighty dollar but is actually not passionate or talented in the field at all. They flame out and have to be replaced.

>>18499888
out of time?
>im 27
I dont believe in "its too late"
Thats why im not slaving away in facotry for 10 hours a day,

>>18499786
just b yrself

I went for two jobs not long ago and got offered both the same day as the interview.

Show interest/ask questions about what you will be doing when employed, to show that you're thinking about it seriously and not just window shopping.

Don't come with too many questions prepared, that would look fake, but get them to expand on things they've told you in the interview.

Be confident but reserved and have the mentality that the interview is as much about seeing if the job's good enough for you as you are for it.

Finally keywords, depending on what kind of role it is there might be keywords they want you to say. Mine was stock and logistics based, so one of the keywords was "approved supplier" or some variation.

>>18499786
simple shit like
-dress well
-remember names
-polite eye contact
-confident handshake
-empathize with your interviewer
-remember important details
-have good answers to questions

simple

>>18499770

1. Be proactive, not reactive. You work in the business, if you see an opportunity for improvement, grab life by the horns and suggest a project the team can work on. It sounds like by the time you're getting a project, that method has already been agreed upon and you're late to the party with another way to do it.

2. You just have to swallow shit sometimes. You weren't clear about what you do or your level in the business, but this is likely one of your boss's pet projects, and you calling it a failure frequently makes it seem like you're not a team player. Unless you're the one designing the project, shut up and get it done. Optimize as best as you can for results. The numbers will prove out that it wasn't effective, and your boss is going to have to answer for that, not you.

"This is shit" <- u here
Be here -> "This is shit and here's my valid and well-explained reason for thinking so in addition to a possible solution."

>>18499842
Or better yet, omit the critique entirely and just go with:
"Hey, how about we try doing X? This way we could save time because..."
or
"Could we offer changing Y to Z? It would make the end results better/faster/etc"


Offer solutions, not just a comment.

Ok

Terrible. Take a lap.

But seriously don't go with the cheesy approach, unless she was into it when you talked yesterday. And even then I think you can do better. A simple "hey" will get you further. Just be honest.

"I had fun yesterday. Want to do something today?"

>>18499726
Thats lame af