Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1064. page

>>18514847
>Afraid of hurting her feelings
Is your relationship really that fragile that you can't be honest with her?

>>18514851
you must be a woman or a virgin

>>18514855
Neither. I'm just not a bitch who's afraid of his own girlfriend.

>>18514842
thanks for the advice

>>18514828
Bump, I need this answer too, I want my husbando I can go have kids with. I've tried other chans and they are all NEETs or bums.

>>18514828
there are 18+ bars, and if I can remember right the gay bar in my college town was 18+.

if they don't exist go find lgbt meetups? I dunno.

It's pretty high risk if sexual intercourse is common. But can still happen from mouth to mouth. If you finger bang it's good unless you have an open wound on your finger. Basically any contact with bodily fluids is common, but it's less common with mouth to mouth, but an still get it. Vaginal sex, it's pretty high risk. Oral it's pretty common as well.

>>18514692
So no sex without a thick condom, no giving oral, fingerbang is ok, what about bj?

>>18514768
>what about bj?

You're likely to get herpes from a bj from literally anyone. Cold sores my dude. They can transmit that way as well.

That being said, no, there's no increased risk of transmitting herpes orally just because she has genital herpes.

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So I thought for 2-3 weeks I'd never hear from her again. She naturally didn't let me know when she has time for our common hobby, which she had promised before my setup.
I had a trip to another country, and I came back. Can't describe how surprised I was when she messaged me some days later asking about my trip and how I was doing. Before I could tell about myself and ask back, she disappeared like often times she does. She is very rarely available on instant messaging, all related to her mindset of a full life I believe.
So what do I do? Had feelings no other woman ever gave me. I gave it some time, knowing her and all, and invited her to hangout without much reason. She figured out how to find time between events. Went great again, connected so well no matter what we talked about.
Two weeks later invited her to do a day trip in nature, and she was all interested and found a whole day during weekend, something she always claimed is hard because of family things she does during weekends. Went great again, fun activity, fun talk, no weird moments.
After each of those meetings I would be so puzzled, how it went great for both of us apparently. And how still wouldn't hear from her. No sign that she wants to sit in a calm moment/silence/whatever else setup to get somewhere with us. Didn't give me any opening.

Next time I asked, she said she's too stressed and can't. Fucking died again.
>kinda TL;DR:
So this is where I decided I need to take some fucking action. Took pen and paper, wrote her a letter. About all the respect, feeling understood, feelings for her, all the great things. And how I can't stand not knowing how she's doing for such long periods of time, yadda yadda.

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Response hit me like a truck. She had a major medical condition around the time (not sure if before or after) she declined my invitation. That part of her response made me sick, for two days severely, for weeks to come still heavily. I realised I cared about her more than about myself. Beautiful and bitter.
The rest of her long response kept explaining how there is no space in her life for more trust. How she got to know me and value me. How nobody has understood her as well as I do. How she truly enjoys her time with me. How those moments together in nature also mean a lot to her.
And yet she couldn't figure out "what's wrong". Is it her daily troubles or whatever. Can't imagine planing a life with somebody, currently.

That fucking small word, "currently". Fucking destroyed me again. I was hoping she wouldn't get me, and I can give up, she wasn't who I thought she is. Or something positive, I don't even know what COULD have happened. But I didn't expect her appreciation letter tied to a rejection.

We met. Talked about her sickness, teared up together, laughed again together. Didnt dare talk about anything else really. And in following meeting too, which was also very much squeezed between appointments.

>actual advice part

Now I sit here, alone for days and weeks, nobody to talk to. Grown man who began to regularly feel like crying, never able to however. I'm leaving the country for 3-4 months in one week. Haven't heard of her for a week again because I also didn't message her. She will probably want to meet me or at least message me before I leave. I am scared and I am clueless.
I am 100% convinced, for a person with my character, this is the top priority thing to fight for in life and make sacrifices for. I want to fight until the very end for her, whatever it takes.

Dear Anon, I need advice on how to fight, before I leave and after I come back from that seasonal stay at the other end of the world. Or am I delusional and there is nothing left to fight for?

>So this is where I decided I need to take some fucking action. Took pen and paper, wrote her a letter. About all the respect, feeling understood, feelings for her, all the great things. And how I can't stand not knowing how she's doing for such long periods of time, yadda yadda.

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
CLINGY ALERT SHUT DOWN
D E L E T E

>>18514608
Who is this guy? In the pic. I see his pictures from time to time.

>>18514641
ReviewBrah

>>18514643
Dude looks incredibly depressed. What does he review and is he dead?

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No.

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>>18514584
Can ye explain to me why

I just dont understand why someone can just 180 like that

i feel like its an excuse

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>>18514646
An attractive woman's life kinda works like this.

This'll sound weird but I learned a lot about life working as a janitor. I was the only white guy and the only American. My coworkers rocked. Also, I got to listen to a ton of audiobooks and podcasts at work, which rocked. I'm a programmer now. I still listen to audiobooks but my coworkers suck now.

>>18514490
I'd like to do something like that, but my folks are watching me at every step, and they'd crucify me if I even tried to do that.

>>18514576
they'd rather you be a NEET than a janitor?

>>18514440
That's what happens when people are anonymous. You can say anthing, vent all you want, without any consenquences. I doubt a single person telling someone to kill themselves here is being sarcastic.
Accept it, take no hard feelings and ignore it.

>>18514440
Why are you so fucking gay? This is where we let our minds speak not our characters IRL.

>>18514440
Idk. Idfc what peeps on the internet say. I communicate with and know some real antisocial creatunes on the web. They try to instill fear in me by contactin my parents but i know they aint gon do shit. If only they do the shit they spew on the keyboard and grew some balls they know they wouldnt survive.


Tldr: dont worry

you wont. people get old. learn to get over it.

>>18514428
What the fuck, is 22 really considered "old" for a girl? Since when?

brb digging my grave

>>18514428
Are you fucking autistic?

Can't you re-take the tests for fixing your gpa?

Never quit. Period.

And I remember that guy from twitter.

>>18514404
Join the Airforce

>>18514370
Everyone has problems.

Focus on your issues and bettering yourself as a person before seeking companionship. If you don't love yourself, don't expect anyone else to love you.

>>18514370
I felt similar for a long time, especially because in school, the girls would, if at all, only speak to me when we had a group project to do.
I feel like I didn't have it as bad as you do, but I felt like I was completely undesirable for any girl, even the ugly and desperate ones, until I met a girl that's very similar to me online one day, whom I could talk to a lot easier than any of the girls in school. We've been together for 4 years now, and I am still very happy.
What is important though it that if you are generally unhappy, a girlfriend will not suddenly change that, not for a long time anyway.
Good luck to you though

>>18514370
I believed similar and was proven wrong..... But then the person I trusted most proved me right that I have no value. People hate those like us or use us sorry to say.

>>18514367

Do exactly opposite of what you're doing now, you degenerate normie.

>desu the secret lies in lurking, observing, and exploring the boards. Don't fall for the shitposting meme

By not giving a shit.

Your every next post is a samefag, the bad name and shame won't follow you here unless you trip.

Thus no reason for blending in as well.

>>18514394
this is true, but it shouldn't be too hard to fit in
lurk for two days or so and you will grasp the basics, if you fall for a meme, laugh about it, keep it in mind and carry on as if it wasn't you (unless you're on /bant/, /int/, /pol/ or any other place that has IDs, in that case, just ignore it)
most of the habits are easily learned and since there's a lot of people on 4chan, not doing everything like everyone else does, is not a problem

You probably shouldn't have sent a dick without some qualifying callback to that other convo, like "drew a classy cock to add to your collection :P" she opened that up and just saw what she presumed was your cock with a filter on it or some shit and got mad because no joke was told and some perv just sent her another hard shlong unrequested.

Admit to your mistake, apologise and she if she will forgive you. If she doesn't, remain respectful and leave her be. If she does, stick to your word.

If it's a no, I imagine that would be a crushing blow, but hey, take some time out to put it into perspective and recuperate. Plenty of fish in the sea.

>>18514196
Are you retarded why would you send a dick pic with a filter? Seriously what was going through your head?

>Why? What have I done wrong?
Well, yoou replied

I know being in love can be really, really hard. But the woman that left you for just the reason of having some kids returned to you ONLY AFTER she's destroyed physically, economically and mentally destroyed. You should had turnt your back to her from 1st time, or maybe only gave a little help. You're like that saying that tells

>You can't expect a tiger not eatiny you just because you're vegan

So what you did wrong is without any proof of reason, re open your heart. In my opinion, at least.

>What have I done wrong?
You trusted a drug addict who (probably) has some sort of mental illness. She isn't the same person she was 17 years ago.

I think I remember your thread. People told you not to do it, or to at least be careful since you insisted. Was your story the one where it was her sister who kept dragging her back to drugs? Sorry I can't remember too many other details.

There was a quote I heard once. "We accept the love we think we deserve." And.. I think that makes a lot of crazy behavior in relationships make sense. When people don't think they deserve the love they're offered, they turn away from it. The more you offer, the more they feel wrong for accepting. Same idea for staying in abusive situations. People think they don't deserve anything better than abuse. So it becomes sort of comforting to them.

She couldn't accept your love because of how she feels about herself. You can't change how she feels about herself, because that has to come from her.

>>18514161
>what have i done wrong
You went against 9+ /adv/ices, logic, reason and commin knowledge. It was like saying to 4 years old baby to not touch fire, cause it will burn him badly.

So since now you are burned properly, have you got your sences back? Maybe you should find random poor qtie who will appreciate stuff you would do for her?

You cant buy peoples faith, loyality, morality or love. Stop being stupid, forget about her and find something else to do with your life.

>if you want to help her, buy her psycholog and never talk with her directly again

>>18514143
NO

>>18514143

Yes, on good and bad things. Like everything in life, you can't just imagine how something feels or is, you need to experience it.

THat said, getting a GF won't make you happy necessarily, so don't rush. Let it take it's time.

if you never had one, yes
otherwise, no