Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1050. page

>How do I turn gay?

stop saying no homo

>>18520108
It seems the only people who can get sex are women and gay guys

Its so unfair!

>>18520129
Hetereosexual males can't get laid? What world do you live in?

Pretty sure that age gap is not a problem in Germany unless you're her boss at work or her teacher or something. Go for it.

>>18520121
yeah what anon said.

keep in mind that she's a minor though

Germany is very lax when it comes to stuff like that. You won't get in trouble for fucking a 16 year old when you are 20.

File: pls help.jpg (2MB, 4880x1844px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 4880x1844px

This is what I look like at the moment. Last had a haircut about 10 weeks ago.
I'm aware I'm overweight, which I have been working on. I'm also aware I've got terrible posture, although I don't know how to fix that. But what else can I do aside from surgery?

>>18520045
I would just lose some weight and maybe get your hair cut neater and shorter

Lose weight and shave your face.

>>18520015
>how do I last?

If you're crazy nervous, you might not cum at all :^)

Here's everything you need to know about fucking a girl, get her off first with your hands or mouth and she will not even give a shit how long you last. Then, when you've got it up again, you can fuck her some more and you'll last a lot longer before you bust again. And once the novelty wears off a little, you'll be able to fuck like a machine. It just takes time. Like everything, sex takes practice to be good.

>>18520015
Watch a movie, make a move to make out, and then fuck. It's on you 8 out of 10 Times. The amount of sex I missed out on because I didn't initiate is ridiculous. Also girls are pretty understanding with sex especially if they know you're a virgin. Don't expect to be able to make her cum with penetration, foreplay and clit rubbing is all you got for your first time to make her happy. If out can't get it up try again another time. Just be confident and don't overthink or you'll get whiskey dick

Why is that succulent filthy whore pretending to read a bible?
I'm offended

>>18520011
She's probably fucking another dude, laughing at you right now. Or she's fucking another dude, felt guilty because of your confession, and decided to ghost you

>>18520011
You did right thing but maybe she's afraid something happened between you and these girls.

>>18520011
>Am I being rightfully ignored?
No.

Some dumb shit happened that you got away from as soon as you could and you told her immediately. You're not hiding anything. You're being a responsible partner. At this point, if she's pissed off it's on her for getting worked up over meaningless shit. She's allowed to have an emotional reaction, but she's not allowed to make a big deal out of it.

>>18519949

St. Petersburg

>>18519954
I'm looking for a website, not city.

For what purpose? Mail order bride? Sugar dating?

>>18519908
you are sure this is a physical and not a mental condition, right? if you catch my drift.

>>18519923
yes, I know it's physical but the effects are affecting me mentally too

>>18519935
have you talked to your parents (or whoever you are living with) about your allergies and possibly hiring a professional to have the mold cleaned out or switching bedrooms back? surely they understand how serious your condition is and how much you suffer as you live now?

>>18519825
The second a cat can't eat or shit without human assistance is when it's time to say goodbye. Animals have pride, too.

>>18519839
She did well after treatment for constipation three years ago. We were hoping she'd pull through again.

>>18519839
This. I don't know about "pride" - I try to avoid anthropomorphizing animals, even ones I love to pieces - but there's no doubt that a feeding tube is going to be physically uncomfortable for the animal at the very least. Medical technology can keep humans alive in conditions they'd never experience in their natural environment but at least humans can understand WHY the painful thing is being done to them, and that it's helpful and necessary; as far as animals are concerned, they're just being hurt.

>>18519785
It's a bad idea to pitch ideas to women. Much better, in my experience, to just plan something, and execute. Don't ask her if she thinks a good idea would be to go to a museum, just take her there (except now she's already said no, so you can never take her to one unless she mentions it to you).

Prepare food yourself, go to a scenic park, and have a picnic. Part of the date can be her talking with you and interacting with you while you cook, if you like.

>>18519785
>I don't really care what we do, I am not doing it for me.
Didn't catch this the first time. If you're not wanting to spend time with her, chances are you;re just wasting time with her.

>>18519799
I like spending time with her but I am perfectly happy sitting at home watching a movie or playing a board game or something.

Only if you vape it. Or if you use a glass bong.

I did a weed once and now I take cocks up the ass

>>18519772
Omg why ? Are you suddenly worried what weed can do to you actually ? HAHAHAHA

I don't know why I am like this. I would have killed myself long ago, but the saying " suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem " made me realize that life itself, being temporary, would resolve itself, and maybe in the mean time I might find something that makes it all worth it.

However as I age I realize that even though the 50-90 years I could expect to live (depending on so many factors) is relatively a short amount of time, it is actually quite a lot of time in its own right. I am beginning to question my energy and patience.

I know that this level of apathy, or a desire to terminate my own life, isn't considered healthy and is a sign something is defective in me, but I don't know what to do about it. I can't remember ever being happy or satisfied or driven by a purpose, not even going back to my childhood can I remember a single fond, warm moment of happiness.

I don't hate existence, I just want nothing to do with it personally. I want to return to the nonexistence I had for the first 14bn(roughly) years of history.

I just want to understand why I'm like this. Why don't I feel the same investment in my existence that other people do? Why can't I be happy with anything? Why can't I find anything that makes this all feel worthwhile?

Honestly I don't know why I'm still trying to find reasons to love something I clearly don't value, desire, or possibly deserve.

Sounds like absurdist philosophy. Read the Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus, it explains it well.

>>18519736

>>18519736

Existentialism ( and in this case, Camus) deal mostly with a large, sweeping purpose or meaning to life.

While a more grand meaning to everything could satisfy me in this regard, I accepted the absurdity of life a good while ago.

In this case, I'd be happy with mere contentment and satisfaction with my actual, every day life.

A husband and wife buy their first house, and the pride and satisfaction of achieving their goal makes them content and satisfied.

When I was younger I struggled to get my first place, and when I finally did, I felt nothing more than " this is where I live now. " .

And the problem is getting worse. Music sounds more and more dull; food tastes bland and it is hard to swallow. I've lost interest in material gain to the point that everything I own ( Minus my house and vehicle of course) can fit into a single 13 gallon trash bag. My money simply sets in my bank account. I haven't answered my messages in a month, and I barely speak to my coworkers anymore.

I can accept my life has no purpose, meaning, or objective reason.

I don't know that I can live being this completely empty though, without happiness or contentment or satisfaction with anything I do.

>>18519698
Not unless you're talking to an absolute slut that will fuck anybody or a hooker.

The end goal for a man is sex. The end goal for most women is security. You being open about what it is that you want is all fine and good, but would you respond positively to a woman that's like, "Yeah, I really just want a furnished house, a car, a top of the line kitchen, and a thousand dollars per week petty spending cash, and I'm not looking to give you any of the things that you want."

Again, there are exceptions to the rule, but due to survival of the fittest, they tend to be fairly rare. Hookers will listen to you say that, and give you a price, if you're just looking to skip the entire dance.

>>18519709
But isn't casual sex among women relatively common nowadays? Or do sluts mostly only fuck Chads?

>>18519729
Even bar sluts have to have a diminished mental capacity, and find the guy charming enough to pull that shit. They won't do it with anyone who walks right up and asks, "Wanna fuck?" The dance is still required, albeit to a lessor degree.

File for unemployment you cunt (assuming you're in usa)

>>18519675
I'm located in Australia.

I've filed for unemployment but they now make you wait 6 months before you can receive your first payment.

I have 5 months to go now before I'll get my first payment and I don't think I'll be able to survive until then. I am currently living with a friend of mine for free but I really don't know how long that arrangement will be able to last and I don't want to be a burdon on him for too long.

Don't be a nigger

>>18519621
Yes. You keep the focus on them, and lie if they ask about you.

>Oh, yeah. I do some woodworking sometimes. I'm absolutely shit at it, though, so don't ask me to make you a table or anything!

>>18519636
>Yes. You keep the focus on them, and lie if they ask about you.
Pretty much this OP, but dont go overboard. I have an friend who lied one girl he had a twin brother so yea, just keep it simple and clean with lies small enough to manage

>>18519621
No

Hi

exposure is the only way
let a spider crawl over you, or someone else's pet spider, or just a bug
realize that in the end, nothing is going to happen to you. the worst that could happen is you get a tiny bite

>>18519582
honestly i love bugs and insects. but of course i hate begbugs. nature is scary yo!