You wake up and find out you're suddenly Yamcha the Desert Bandit.
Even worse, you realize it's the start of Dragon Ball and haven't met Bulma and Goku yet and you know fate is going to be constantly dealing you a bad hand.
How do you plan on changing things for the better for yourself with everything that you know about the DB world?
Master the Wolf Fang Fist, beyond even what the real Yamcha achieved, training hard before even meeting Goku to help him reach greater heights at an earlier age so as to face the challenges ahead with higher power level.
Also, later on, prove myself to be the strongest human alive, surpassing Krillin in that regard.
>You wake up and find out you're suddenly Yamcha the Desert Bandit.
Every negative event that happens to Yamcha is easily avoidable aslong as you stay far away from Goku and crew.
Just make sure you save tons of money to buy a spaceship so you can bail Earth before Buu blows it up.
Humans in DB look weak as fuck, because they are standing with and fighting against aliens and Gods.
I wouldn't even be a Z-Fighter, I would go to the Budokai Tenkaichi and fight, win prize money and fuck bitches. Who said I have to job for Goku and friends?
Krillin got to fuck the world's dangerous robot and turned her into a housewife, Humans are overlooked in DB.
I think OP seriously did the most pisspoor job possible when he came up with this question. Is there a single person on this board who's life would be strictly worse if they became Yamcha?
>You're a guaranteed failure at everything in your life
So I go from being a guaranteed failure at everything in my life to a guaranteed failure at everything in my life who can also fly?
>have a chance to fuck bulma
>get to die and resurrected(seriously, how many people can actually do that)
>one of the strongest humans on earth
brb winning the world tournament
no faggot named Satan is gonna win on my watch
>Use your godlike strentgh, speed, and flight to do jobs singlehandedly that would normally require millions of dollars in equipment.
Any Z fighter that wasn't ridiculously fucking rich was an idiot.
>hey vegeta, remember that time one of your small dudes killed me?
>look man. sorry about that but it was a different time
>its ok, man. that just made us even anyway
>what do you mean?
>yamcha's face when
technically all fighters are at least middle class by super (except Piccolo whose still a murderhobo and Tien and Chonsu who are still monks I thing).
good luck maintaining a budget with Goku's appetite though
>good luck maintaining a budget with Goku's appetite though
But I'm yamcha, that's none of my bsuiness. Besides, it can't be that hard when he's out there catching fish that are bigger than his house.
>Except desert bandneet Yamcha can't fly.
Not yet, but he will be able to in a few years. Plus, if I know everything I do now, I can speed up the process.
>live the same way until the end of the first chapter
>Get nudes of Bulma and then trade them to Roshi to become his student
His biggest fuck up of Dragon Ball was going and training with Roshi months after Goku so after that point he was never going to catch up. Id wager Krillin was significantly stronger than him at the first Martial arts tournament.
>Be top 20 strongest beings on the planet
>Take over a small country with martial art powers
>Fuck hottest slave girls every day
>Drink finnest booze every day
>Shoot coolest guns every day
>Fuck up anhy military power with my kamehamehas
Shit nigga. you just gotta know how to use your powers
And it's not like the Z-Fighters would care.
They just want to fight super strong people and I'm just a Leader of my own personal country who isn't bothering anyone.
>Gather all 7 DragonBalls and wish for eternal life and strength.
>Do it again the next year when I need something outside of my country's power
Just wish yourself to be strong so you wouldn't have to put up with an old man's shenanigans.
With how often my shit is going to get fucked up, my first and only plan is to try to hijack Oolong's wish for Bulma's panties to wish myself into being a Saiyan.
In fact, no matter what, I'm going to make wishing myself into a Saiyan a top priority.
With how often my shit's going to get fucked up, I may as well get some sort of benefit from it.
>mfw I realize even as the lowest of the low dragon ball character is still the top tier .00005% of the earth population
I think I'll be alright.
This moron. Just because you are saiyan doesn't mean jack shit. You won't be able to have access to the training of Goku nor Vegeta...hell the potential you lack would make it that you would still be weaker than Piccolo by the end of the series.
How would you not have acess to the training of Goku and Vegeta? Bulma is at least freinds with and she is the richest woman on the planet. a gym membership is cheap as balls if she stinges out on you. Fukken. Krillin did kamehamehas at waves to get stronger. and with a better attitude PoPo or Kami would ez train you
I'd still benefit from training under Roshi and King Kai, and with the hax bullshit which is the huge power level boost I get every time my ass gets kicked, training won't matter so much.
Hell, fuck training. After Goku goes SS and whoops Freeza, I'm going to make a deal with Dende to spend an hour a day healing me while Krillin kills my ass.
Fuck training, I'm just going to almost die a dozen times a day.
Yes because you anon would have the drive to gain power for the sake of power. Knowing the typical rhetoric on this place, you would be content to being one of the strongest people on the planet.
Krillin went to Namek and got his potential unlocked, you were dead remember? Hell you don't even get to King Kai and why would Bulma make a training space ship for her ex boyfriend?
Doesn't work like that. Yamacha in all respects is much much weaker than Goku was in dragonball and you are going to tell me that a typical anon would bust his ass to get to King Kai? Why? You aren't going to beat Nappa or Vegeta. What purpose do you get from doing this. Also say you get King Kai training, you are still leagues behind Vegeta and Goku were on Namek. Do you see the problem here? You will always be very far from Goku and Vegeta no matter what you do. Accept that at best you will be weaker than Piccolo by the end of Z.
>You will always be very far from Goku and Vegeta no matter what you do
Why do you have to be stronger then them? Neither one of the give a flat fuck about the world affairs. you can be number 10 on the planet as long as the other top 9 give 0 fucks and you can rob banks and shit ez pz
Anon, Yamcha getting trained by King Kai is canon.
As for the power level thing, of course I'm not going to bust my ass. Instead, I'm going to use the Saiyan cheat codes to power and just get "almost killed" a fuckton.
If the power up is big enough that it spikes Vegeta's power after the fight with Goku enough to blow his rivals out of the water AND is big enough that Vegeta uses it as a means of powering up during the Freeza fight, it's big enough to be abused for training myself up to not-Yamcha levels.
>Why do you have to be stronger then them?
Who said anything about being stronger than them? I am just talking about one a similar level so that you can survive longer without dying in the series.
> rob banks and shit ez pz
Yes because I will rob banks as my main source of income and then try to spend the gps-spiked cash.
Also why the fuck would you steal money from banks when you get rich as a baseball player?
As I said you still won't be a super saiyan. What traumatic moment will unleash your fury? Fyi anon zenkai boosts stopped being a thing after the Frieza arc and so my arguement still holds you still won't be Piccolo's level. Shall I remind you that Piccolo was fodder in the Majin Buu arc? Oh ya those zenkai boosts sure came in handy against enemies that give SSJ3 Goku a hard time.
Goku being a moron and Vegeta's pride probably made the boosts a forgotten thing. Doesn't mean they stopped working.
Also, never said I was going to power-level myself to first place. Just... Saiyan Yamcha abusing zenkai is probably more powerful and less likely to be jobbed than Human Yamcha.
I would play out the story right up until Oolong's wish hijack, then hijack it for myself. I'd wish for the dragon to make me as powerful as he possibly can.
Since it's mentionned that the dragon can't grant wishes that go past his creator's power, he would probably make me as strong as Kami right there, which will spare me all that training I wouldn't have the discipline to do.
While I'm there, I would then proceed to murder everyone present, both in goku and pilaf's gang, just to thin out who knows about the dragonballs a bit.
The following years I would hunt down the red ribbon army, killing Gero while I do. Then I would wish for saiyan genes spliced into me for good measure, then wish to be guaranteed surviving Korin's magic water. Forgot how it was called. The one that either kills you or multiplies your power level.
At this point that would probably start putting me close to Raditz's power level, and with barely any effort on my part. Now I have like what, 15 years before he shows up? Even being lazy as fuck I can surely manage to close the gap before he shows up.
Then I kill him without ever mentioning dragonballs. Since that was the reason Vegeta and Nappa came, not Raditz, chances are they just say fuck it and don't come. Saiyans never learn about dragonballs, Frieza never learns about dragonballs, and none of them ever come to earth.
Then I dig up Buu's egg and just throw it into the sun or something.
No they don't work enough to matter in any meaningful way.
>While I'm there, I would then proceed to murder everyone present, both in goku and pilaf's gang, just to thin out who knows about the dragonballs a bit.
The stupidest post I have ever fucking seen.
I'd get the dragon balls and make one wish. I'd wish that humans were able to get the same zenkai boost when severely injured like saiyans do. This might give humans like Krillin, Tien, and myself a fighting chance to stay relevant at least for a little while longer and it means that the cap on power is taken off and we can theoretically just keep getting stronger.
>Master the WFF
>Learn the Spirit Ball in advance
>Fuck Goku up
Yeah but the amount of times we get our ass beat and come back would mean that we wouldn't be AS weak. And if we actually capitalized on the boost along with senzu beans we could just regularly train ourselves to near death then senzu ourselves back again.
Korin states that it takes a lot of time to grow the senzu beans and will only give them out in case of emergencies. As if he will give it Yamcha for the sake of fucking training. The lives of Goku, Gohan, Vegeta, Piccolo and Tien supercede yours in terms of senzu bean usage if you all get fodderized. How many times in the series did that honestly happen? A couple? You are grossly over estimating the power of zenkai boosts and the frequency that they happen.
Nigga do you not see the potential here? I mean Vegeta went through like 3 of them on namek and was a match for freizas third form because of it. The Zenkai boost they get is super useful. Hell Krillin alone would be a serious contender if humans were able to get stronger from near fatal and fatal injuries. And if we could use that to incorporate it into training the ability to just boost your power exponentially would be great (Like goku going from can beat Ginyu level to going toe to toe with final form freiza level). Also you're talking about senzu beans like Korrin doesn't just hand out a sack of them to the gang whenever they ask.
Way to cockblock your bro Krillin, dude. No Androids means no 18, which means Krillin is forever alone. Not cool.
Nah man, what you do, is you get Gero to turn YOU into a Android. Just say you wanna kill Goku, he'll totally buy it.
It's not much of a power boost, but it'll make you the most powerful guy for like, half-an-arc until Cell shows up. That's pretty good for a human in the Dragon Ball Universe.
He's got the right idea!
The amount of times he gets his little ass beat is probably in the top three and if his power fucking spiked everytime there's a chance he could actually be useful. And the power jumps these saiyans get from this zenkai thing seems insanely op. Like Goku went from Saiyan saga vegeta level to beating the Ginyu force.
Maybe. Sounds like something he said.
So you get the Android boost, escape and lay low during the Saiyan Saga. Feign death during the Saibaman attack, and then miraculously survive and go to Namek. Get the boost from the Grand Elder like Krillin, and that puts you as the strongest Human in the world. Obviously Saiyans and Super Namekians will outmatch you, but still pretty good for Yamcha.
Find master roshi and begin training immediately.
Knowing my actual potential would help.
And the end of dragon ball Z yamcha probably had a power level comparable to piccolo at the start of dragon ball Z.
I train as hard as I can. Try to learn Kienzan from Kuririn or just go with my sword against Freeza so we can fuck him up through his weakness.
Getter the crew and go to Dr Gero base before Cell develops enough to be dangerous. If he did escape, at this point I'm strong enough to double team Imperfect Cell with my buddy Tien.
Majin Boo would be tricky. As the team swordsman, I talk Kayoshin about getting the Z Sword and/or going Mystic. I'd still die, but at least I'd get some power and recognition for once.
I just realized this show could be much better without Saiyans, still working out in the end even against such powerful foes.
>Is considered the butt monkey of all anime butt monkeys
>is actually one of the most powerful human beings alive
>plays on a successful professional baseball team
Train harder instead of being a man-slut.
Earn money from tourneys and invest in capsule-corp as shareholder.
Proceed to marry a decent woman and spend most of your time training like mad instead of being worse than Krilin or Raditz.
Why did this movie look better than Battle of Gods and Return of Frieza?
>Do everything more or less the same except with more training and fucking Bulma and less jobbing or getting wrecked.
>When beating the Saibaman make sure to blast that fucker so as to avoid looking like an idiot in a crater.
>Do my best to fight Nappa with every intention of dying so as to train with King Kai.
>MASTER THE KAIO KEN AND THE GENKI DAMA, actually use it against Gero and the androids.
>This is still the Goku and Vegeta show, so in order to get the badass that is future Trunks, I may have to let Bulma go. It's for the best.
>Allow Vegeta and Goku to do what the do except I don't job and actually pull a few "Tien vs. Semi-perfect Cells" out my ass from time to time
>Train, train, fuck baseball groupies, train and strive to keep up with all these fuckin' aliens and bug-monsters.
>BE THE BEST YAMCHA I CAN BE!
>gather the dragon balls as soon as possible
>wish for Shenron to kill Goku, Tien Shinhan, Kirllin, Chiaotzu, the entire Red Ribbon Army, Tao Pai Pai, human Dr. Gero, etc. Basically every important characters who is weaker than Shenron, since he can't kill anyone who is stronger.
>this includes Pilaf so King Piccolo is never released.
>since Goku is dead Raditz never comes to Earth and Frieza never finds out about the Dragon Balls
>since Goku is dead Beerus never comes to Earth looking for the Super Saiyan God
>Buu never wakes up because there's not enough powerful people on Earth to get him out of his cocoon
>Yamcha becomes king of the planet
>How do you plan on changing things for the better for yourself with everything that you know about the DB world?
A shitload of training. As in completely normal training. As in Yamcha went from a chump to AT LEAST being stronger than Saiyan Saga Vegeta by the end of DBZ. Get a head start on training and you could be stronger than anyone in the DBZ world and shove Radditz' head up his ass with ease.
Given you know everything that is going to happen in advance, fate cannot deal a bad hand. Follow Goku around, join him on his quest for powerups and when the time comes to save the day by wishing for something before someone else does, jump in and wish for good fortune.
That added in with most of Yamchas failures come from him being blindsided, which won't happen since you know what is going to happen will allow for a far less future of getting killed.
>Actually liking shitty CGI in your anmay movies
Even with the huge budget they had they somehow couldn't afford CGI that looked at least on par with the video games.
You faggots like shit like Code Lyoko too?
>How do you plan on changing things for the better for yourself with everything that you know about the DB world?
Instead of being a coward I'd actually train. And I'd also gather the dragon balls and wish to become a saiyan. The would boost my max potential
Are all the monosyllabic replies to this post just samefagging or the fanbase fell so low as to think the new movies are really better than this? You guys deserve Super and modern Toei.
In the anime the cotch offered millions ro Yamcha to make a home run. And DB isn't set in our world, that's why cowboys, indians and chineses, niggers and sandniggers are ruled by a dog named King Furry.
>not posting the pic with it
I hope you don't mind me saving this image, but this is 10/10.
>samefagging that hard
>keep going till the tournament with Picollo
>don't enter since I'll just get kicked in the balls
>become star athlete in every sport
>fuck my magical cat that can transform into anything I want and will do anything since it's got serious Yamcha fever
Being Yamcha is great, as long as you're not fighting anything.
I keep thinking, all the time, that if I was any fighter in DBZ I'd just knock on a MLB front office and get job as an undrafted free agent, then win everything.
But fuck logic, let Goku be a farmer.
>>Being Yamchas great, as long as you don't fight 30 certain people most of which are your friends.
FTFY, never got this it's the same thing with Mr.Satan. He can literally kick anyones ass on earth except for this group of oddities, that's pretty good.
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We can see unique IPs entering the thread now you turd smoker
I travel to the city, and fuck some bitches.
Then I'll date the one that looks like Haruhi
He dated Bulma for your years and yet
>She never showed any respect for him
>Never got married
>Never got a kid
>Yamcha still loos like a poorfag
Space monkey manlet shows up
>He treats her like shit
>Gets her pregnant
>Doest even marry her
>Never gets a job
>Lives like a prince and uses the company's employees, funds and technology as he pleases
>fucked Bulma when she was 16, perky and tight
>now he's a baseball star and surrounded by groupies
Yamcha had some rough times, but I think he came out on top
So? I'd still be tougher than almost 100% of the people on the planet and more than half of the aliens seen around the universe. I'd still be able to fly and throw ki around like I've got a laser cannon in my arm.
I actually wanted to write a fanfic where Tien and Yamcha wished for eternal life to protect the earth after the main cast died. Yamcha ends up teaching Goku and Vegeta's descendants the Kamehameha wave
And to up that, Yamcha is still stronger than probably 95% of the seen aliens in the series.
By Cell arc, he could probably beat any non Goku/Vegeta saiyan since they cant SS. Remember, Vegeta was the strongest of them and still couldnt beat Dodoria and Zarbon.
Yamcha is much stronger than that. Remember that the Ginyu Force were the strongest in the universe besides Frieza. Android Saga Yamcha was in the top 0.1% of the universe, it's just that everyone in the universe stronger than him lives on the same planet as him.
Kame-sennin and Tsuru-sennin aren't going anywhere, that's sort of what the word "sennin" means. They don't need successors. Plus 17 and 18 (and maybe Piccolo) are immortal, the Earth isn't going to be defenseless.
Take up fucking Boxing.
Keep up my training.
Once I unify all the belts at the heavyweight class I start doing handicap matches. One hand, tied to the corner, beat in 1 minute or you instantly win.
I rake the fucking dough it because I am unstoppable. It's gotten to the point I will give my belts to whoever can TOUCH me, but they can't.
I then drive up to Goku's house for a spar to see if I can measure up, meanwhile showing Chi-Chi my dump truck of money so she stops having Gohan become a fucking useless nerd.
Then I go off to fight Hercule, make Videl wet for me, then when the Sayains are a year away and I'm on the lookout with everyone I go 'Hey Popo, is there some magic room that lets us train for a whole year in one day we could use?'
Well after that I fly off the Lookout to now beat the shit out of Piccolo and take Gohan to train him in a non retarded manner and turn him into a fighter not a punching bag. I watch as Gohan's latent talent plus actual training schools the fuck out of Nappa and Piccolo realizes actually teaching Gohan Techniques is better than whatever the fuck he did.
Now if by some chance I die in the Sayain attack like regular Yamcha, I propose that whoever among us at King Kai's place finishes the trials fist gets taught the Kaio Ken and Spirit Bomb first. Also I ask if he happens to know instant teleportation techniques.
If I survive, fuck it. I'm impregnating Bulma on Namek until Goku arrives, even if Guru unlocked my power I can't do shit to anything. That's Namek's MO, nobody but Vegeta and Goku did anything.
After that I train for Freiza's return and Androids in a gravity chamber built by my father in law, continue to fuck Bulma while she's pregnant as fuck, eventually enjoy knowing I'm not a fucking retard like Toriyama and canon Yamcha
most of his suffering stemmed from him just giving up. him being disheartened was understandable, but that's no excuse to stop trying all together.
so I'll take my licks, I'll keep working at it, I'll actualy learn the Kaioken when I die, and try to not get myself killed when things get way out of my league.
oh, and I won't let Goku hold the sensu beans, ever.
If Yamcha leaves earth, he could pretty much do whatever he wants.
But apparently every planet except earth sucks.
Are there really no planets that Beerus has been too with intelligent life that can just make and cook good food?
Maybe Chi Chi has some cat in her, since there's nothing stating that the anthro animals can't race-mix with humans, and for all we know, Ox King was a literal title at one time, and her womb took both Goku and Yamcha's cum and turned it into the cocktail that is Gohan
I would ruthlessly abuse my immense knowledge of Dragon Ball to pursue every training method available to Goku before he gets there himself.
Priority goes to learning Solar Flare, Kienzan, and the self-cloning technique in order to ruthlessly abuse their synergistic qualities and complete lack of a need for a high power level to be effective in "early" Dragon Ball.
Head the Red Ribbon Army off at the pass with Upa's dad, and help Goku collect the Dragon Balls with no intended final wish during that span of time so I have a justification to use them for myself.
Wish to be an immortal, eternally young member of the saiyan race.
>calls Taiyouken 'Solar Flare'
>calls Kienzan 'Kienzan'
What is this mixup
Reminder that Yamcha could have easily survived the fight with the saibaimen if he wasn't overconfident and used his soukidan to kill all of them right away. He was stronger than the saibaiman (meaning, stronger than Raditz), but let his guard down and the green man used explosion and it was super effective. Really, if any of the other Z-fighters went first other than Piccolo and maybe Tien, they'd have died, too. They didn't know what they were dealing with and Yamcha was the unfortunate one to find out for everybody.
After that, he could have even survived against Nappa. One more body would have tipped the scale for the Z-fighters and made it more likely for all of them to survive. Remember, he trained with Tien and Krillin to fight the saiyans and more than likely also learned the separation technique. Imagine how that would've gone if all four of Tien, Piccolo, Krillin, and Yamcha used that on Nappa instead of just Piccolo and Krillin. They could've held off until Goku showed up. Maybe not easily, but it was possible and if Yamcha took his role as secondary leader instead of being cocky after their training with Popo, he'd have lived.
Probably once or twice, but you don't even get the balls for it until at least the RR army arc, minimum.
Nah the new movies look better.
Well there's one thing I can count for, and it's that I'm not a huge ass pussy when it comes down to talking with women, so I'll be able to at least not want to wish for something as stupid as that.
Now the bad side is that, even though I possess his physical prowess I know fuck-all about martial arts, so I'm definitely hands off from this shit.
All in all I'll just sit this one out.
Even if I am I can still work it out somehow. The reason is that bulma is a meal ticket + access to dragon radar.
If I'm a coward I'll probably have to play it exactly how Yamcha did prior to being able to talk to women, until then I'll just do the same stuff he did minus lose my teeth from fighting with goku.
Then I'd proceed to just wish myself immortal, and then wish myself to what another anon said the strongest he could possibly make me which is pretty strong at that time of the story I think.
What I'd do is just hang with Goku and go to Roshis with him. Train with him and Krillin. Goku wants the 4 star ball to himself anyway. 4 star ball sort of leaves his mind forever after king picolo arc. I think the last significance it had was Gohan's hat decoration.
Fuck training. I live the simple life, retiring to a small village where I take advantage of my little martial arts prowess and my transforming cat to make money.
Pretty sure Yamcha's at least competent enough to fight dinosaurs in that universe.
>Follow the original Dragon Ball's story as normal
>When Raditz shows up, help Goku and Piccolo defeat him
>Make sure to blow up his scouter before Piccolo mentions the Dragon Balls to him. Vegeta and Nappa won't hear the conversation and have no reason to visit Earth
>Since neither Vegeta nor Frieza find out about the Dragon Balls, they don't go to Namek
>Kill Gero before he creates Cell
>Buu can't be revived because there isn't anyone on Earth powerful enough for that to happen
>Have sex with Beerus
how? with no super saiyans, there'd be no super saiyan god prophecy so he'd never come to earth when he normally would. He'd probably show up later, but that could be centuries to millennia away.
Yamamuro's character designs are stagnant and stiff. There was one episode, 16, that deviated from Yamamuro's designs a little bit and looked like classic DB. There needs to be more episodes like that.
>Yamamuro's character designs are stagnant and stiff.
Exactly what I feel.
>but still if Yamcha wasn't overconfident and got the job done right away he wouldn't have died.
While I agree, there really is no real shame in Yamcha dying to the Saibaman, outside of meme-garbage.
From a narrative perspective, Toriyama needed to have Yamcha die there, for the sake of turning up the tension, since Tenshinhan JUST easily mopped the floor with a Saibaman; had Kuririn or Gohan fought instead of Yamcha either of them would have definitely died instead, since no one, outside of Nappa and Vegeta, knew those things could self destruct.
>but you don't even get the balls for it until at least the RR army arc, minimum.
Which isn't bad at all, considering that Yamcha and Bulma were dating/fucking literally for years until AT LEAST after the 23rd Budokai when they split.
Yamcha is like 2nd strongest human on earth and he doesn't even have to risk his life fighting aliens or anything sounds like a good deal to me
To be honest, I probably wouldn't bother dating Bulma. At least not for very long.
Other than making this more serious, Yamcha's death was to motivate Krillin. Krillin was going to be the next to fight a Saibaman, but Yamcha took his place because he'd already died once. The idea was that Krillin would have been the one dead if Yamcha hadn't volunteered to go instead. Plus his death led to Krillin's best moment in the whole series.
A lot of people don't realize just how minor of a character Krillin was before the Saiyan Saga.
Try to think of what actually happened instead of what you imagine happened. Krillin wasnt in the first saga, was only in the Red Ribbon Saga for like 8 chapters and didn't actually do anything and was dead for the whole Piccolo Saga. Other than his short tournament fights he was just a spectator.