>>110071848 I was in a dark state of depression when I watched Evangelion. I just got off my Gabapentin prescription and was kicked out of my apartment because I had scabies and my roommates gf was prego. It didn't help that episodes 25-26 felt exactly like a bad acid trip I once had.
>>110072525 I also changed my lifegoal after reading it. I will just become a hero now. Becoming a hero is really something beautiful, and sacrificing for others is reward in itself. I don't really admire archer that much, but I admire Shirou and try to embody him as much as possible in my daily life.
I think of the moral of this anime almost every single day, and it's really helped me to appreciate the life I'm living and the life I've been given, and to not try too hard to strive for the unattainable and yearn for a perfect future while disregarding the present.
>>110072959 If that's what you came out of Fate Stay Night with, especially if you played Heavens Feel, you're doing it wrong. The entire point is that the idea of being a "hero" is a noble but impossible goal that leads only to your own destruction. Shirou becomes Archer because of this, no matter how hard he tries to fight it and stick to his ideals. Once he abandons this idea of being a superhero in HF, he's finally free of what is essentially a curse Kiritsugu left on him at his own death. If you just read up to UBW, keep going. If not, you didn't get it.
the most recent anime was gundam 00. I loved the episode where sumeragi make some bad decisions and the team gets pretty beaten and tiera reveals the second stage of his gundam. The thing is many time people feel like q failure and can be very devastating, like what happened to the whole celestial being, but then you can make things better and have some fun, even fix the problems you felt before. Also gunbuster and die buster
>>110073687 >>110074030 No I finished all of it years ago. But I strive the UBW ideal, fighting on for that ideal no matter what it takes.Even if it is impossible I will fight on for it, even die if the need be.I am going with this because I found it beautiful to give yourself for others, and injuring my ideal just makes me strive for it more. >>110073437 Among other things,yes. I generally think about it like this. What would Shirou do in this situation?
When I was in High School, I watched Outlaw Star and immediately had a blast. It has just about everything. Great characters, awesome humor, fantastic action and compelling drama. It was one of the few animes where I got depressed when it ended. I guess the impact it had on me was, at the time, I wanted to become a filmmaker and watching made me go "Man I hope I can make something as fun and compelling as this."
TTGL made me realize that the people who look up to me probably do so more than I realize. It also made me realize how close to my heart a thirst for adventure is.
Watched EVA(NGE+ EoE+Rebuilds) in it's entirety a month ago, it further amplified the call to adventure. It also made it apparent how angry I am with my current mundane lifestyle and the fact that I want companionship, but US Women are terrible candidates in this day and age.
Also, I understood the whole thematic of the Hedgehog dilemma, but Anno actually made me feel the opposite of the intended. I've shifted between ENTJ and INTJ personalities all my life, but from what I've found most people aren't worth the trouble/friends are overrated. In fact, I saw the whole pushing of the hedgehog's dilemma theme as kind of immature, since it's an extended platitude told through anime, but then again I suppose I expected too much. Or maybe I'm just immature.
Either way I couldn't really appreciate the series too much in that regard. This certainly didn't help with my underlying anger issues that don't see the light of day often, though it's mostly anger at seemingly uncontrollable circumstance that I've had for as long as I could remember.
It's like that one image with the yetis attacking this primate and the one has this look on his face that gets zoomed in on the second panel with "Isn't there more to life?" or something. That's so me. And there's just so little I'm finding redeemable, but as a /pol/ browser I'm no stranger to these sentiments. Hope rides alone, yo.
>>110075969 This. NHK isn't necessarily the best anime I've ever seen, but it was definitely the most impactful. I spent a few days recovering from the message and spent some serious time rethinking my life and purpose, and came out better than when I started.
I watched Evangelion at the height of my depression and it made me do the following 1) Question what "reality" is 2) Question my own identity 3) Led me into derealization Subsequent rewatchings led to to then 1) Accept myself as flawed 2) Accept others as flawed 3) Remove myself from focus 4) Accept that life is pointless, but that doesn't mean it's not grand
Then I watched it on acid and now 1) I remember every single scene of the Asuka mind-rape frame by frame 2) Asuka is my waifu 3) Other anime will never be nearly as good
>>110078959 No, suicide is a rejection of life. I accept that life is pointless, and now I'm able to open up and be free with both my thoughts and actions. I'm not longer tied down and worrying so much. Depression for me was about overwhelming worry and self-hate Accepting that life is pointless made me realize that the self-hate and worry was useless, thus enhancing all other aspects of my life.
>>110078997 Have any idea what watching shit on morphine is like? I'm getting my hands on some soon and want to know what to expect.
I remember last time I had it, I was watching a movie, and for whatever reason the player was fucked up and was only playing on a quarter of the screen. I watched the entire 2.5h movie this way without realizing it.
>>110074030 I agree with what Shirou says during his fight with Archer in UBW, and in fact it is one of my favorite quote from all japanese media, when he says something along the lines of "I know my ideals are impossible and no matter how hard I try I will never achieve them... but they aren't wrong." That is what I strive to be like, because idealism and trying to help people is noble and good.
Otherwise pretty much the exact same things in this thread: TTGL, Legend of the Galactic Heroes, Kaiji, Kino no Tabi, Kaiba (not sure if that's been mentioned), and Monster especially (a bit more of a positive outlook on 'goodness').
If something you watch does not at least somewhat change your outlook life, it was pointless and time wasted.
>>110071848 I read the manga for eva and while it was good I didn't find it live changing. The only thing I took away was that people are imperfect creatures that will never understand each other and will hurt each other. However while there is suffering and hate in the world, there are also great moments filled with love and warmth.
This was when I was 14, but rock lee had a pretty descent impact on me. Here was a man who was told he could never succeed and even worse he became handicapped. Yet, despite what everyone told him he never stopped and kept moving toward his ultimate goal.
That and this video from when toonami was golden https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfadJj4d5K4
>>110077243 Haruhi actually contains a pretty solid message about taking affirmative action. The things you want won't just happen to you without taking steps in that direction. Wish I could say I started living by that ideal, but I haven't.
What you said is true for me, also. Too bad it was the very apex, and it's all been downhill since.
>>110079774 I've followed Naruto since I was young Tenten is basically a useless piece of shit because she's being taught wrong. The whole time she was a weapon master, but they were trying to teach her ninjutsu and stuff. Kind of like Rock Lee but with weapons and summoning weapons.
Hah. Haha. I wouldn't want to insult you by asking how new you are.
As far as the hate though, my problem is that I'm gifted enough to where the plausibility exists that I may change the things that I hate, or at least minimize them. I don't think the current economy, general decadence of America, and the loss of nationalism in many folks is something that "doesn't even affect me."
In your defense, my aging mother offers the same advice.
That and a long time ago, I realized my only true motivation came from my hatred and anger. Thus when I absolved it, my tasks in this world would be done.
I do not know how realistic a new hobby would be for me. I have trouble keeping myself going to my studies+work to begin with just because it's so fucking boring.
>>110080577 Not new, it's possible to leave (not forever though) I meant "stop browsing" as in, take a break for a few days. Going to places like /pol/ is cool for discussing new things and understanding world events, but the human mind isn't set up to deal with such scale at all times, it's fucking stressful. Take a couple day break, find some small stupid shit to do, and then see how you feel. Also, eat some fruit. Fruit is great.
Your mother may be aging, but with age comes wisdom, regardless of how dumb they are in general.
Eva made me realize that I have a place in the world just by being alive, and as long as I live, there is a place for me. Every single part of my body works automatically to help me live, it's only through the action of other living things or of myself that can end it prematurely. I will always occupy the space that is my body, as long as I live that is a place that can never be taken from me unless I choose to give it up. As long as I'm alive, I am invincible.
>>110080711 Yeah, thats the thing, though. Not to be shooting you down here continually, but I keep trying to hobby-jump. I started off with video games and fictional literature, then to politics, and now it's roughly politics/anime/philosophy/occultist literature and fringe knowledge. Vidya industry going to shit has left a sour taste in my mouth and I haven't gotten into anime enough for it to be a timesink comparable to say, WoW, to keep me pacified as I once was.
I've realized I minus well just stare my problems down head on, and stop hobby-jumping to distract self/keep self normal. Normal as in the normalfag sense. I can pass as one, but its the lifestyle I hate the most.
Anyhow, if a got a new hobby it'd be the equivalent of drowning my sorrows with alcohol and any escapism I partake in, I try to rationalize away anyway.
It's not that I feel guilty it's just moreso the combination that I don't want to disappoint my parents by just up and leaving and trying to induce some sort of greater epiphany on myself, but also resenting the eventuality of a 9-5. It's too fucking normal for me, despite what my parents want. And I'm too prideful for NEETdom.
I feel like I should just wander for a few years in a city to sort things out, homeless or whatever. But then I think, what is there to sort out?
I'm a capable male with anhedoniac and schizoidal tendencies that despite my potential, feel that I'll never be satisfied with my accomplishments in life. And it's weird, because I got over my first wave of nihilism when I was fourteen, but this newer form of it is real fucking perverse and I just cant seem to shake it.
Honestly? TTGL, like a lot of /a/nons have said. I watched it with /a/ when I was dealing with a lot of depression during my high school years that was going woefully untreated (I got help later on, so don't worry).
Just the entire aesthetic. That whole mindset of that show, what we later ended up calling GAR. It meant a lot to me. Shit was pretty inspirational to me as a kid, and honestly, I still go back and re-watch that show about once a year, when I'm feeling down.
>>110081432 Do acid. Or shrooms. Heavy doses. Might be scary, and might seem fucking retarded, but it's what set me on a path towards not being a useless sack of meat slowly rotting away on the inside.
>>110081548 Aye, this. Believe it or not, the stuff is really helpful when attempting positive introspection. It won't gift you with epiphanies, but you'll think about things in ways you hadn't considered before.
I can't pin point it to just one anime but Many good manga and anime in general try to teach you to work hard no matter the circumstances and to accept that everything bad happening to you is your own fault and only you can deal with it. I guess it must be some sort of oriental philosophy.
Right now what comes to mind is Hikaru No go (wich made me major in math for some reason) Bakuman TTGL Oyasumi Punpun And Bakemonogatari becuase I took its ramblings too seriously.
These are just a few but I think that every good anime adds something to life and that is the whole reason we are here.
>>110081758 And seriously- if stress is a big thing for you, fuck the /pol/ stuff. World is blowing up, people in charge don't give a shit, and pretty much nothing you do can do anything about it until the riots start.
Might as well focus on how to improve your own life and be decent to the people around you. Because stressing over things you have no power over is stupid. You might as well be angsting over the fact that you'll die one day.
>>110081857 >I guess it must be some sort of oriental philosophy. In general those narratives go "shit happens to everyone, what matters is how the protagonists deal with it." As a result, there are a ton of tragic stories.
>>110081432 What you are describing is pretty similar to my own life.
Having moved past the 2nd nihilistic stage I can honestly say that it largely ended when I narrowed my focus by figuring out exactly what few things (like 3 - 4 max) that I wanted to definitely keep doing and just ignoring anything outside of that.
In my case it was getting healthy/fit, watching more anime, getting good at and playing more games and finishing my degree.
I think most nihilism like you are describing is caused by focusing on way to much else that is not important to you when you should devote your time (imo) to only the things that enhance your life. (In many cases I think this means stop reading 4champs or at least take a break or minimize it((and any other internet site)) more than on the shitter because opinions from random people on the internet are random and represent the inherent chaos of the world that imo causes nihilism. Taking a break from this stuff also allows you to determine what you think without all the outside noise.
Out side of that i'd suggest working to accept and understand your weaknesses and try developing strategies that minimize their effect on your life. (obviously not easy to do but produces the greatest changes and can make you a more humble person.)
Anyway end of blog shit I normally never post but I saw this and felt compelled to. Please report ect if you feel the need.
>>110081924 Stress was never a big thing for me. imo, though I wouldn't even know if it was to begin with, because I tend to just brush aside shit like that. I tend to view it as effeminate.
It's just more this deep-seated anger with circumstance in general. The other part of the problem is I rarely ever tell myself no. You know the whole thing with TTGL's kick logic to the curb and do the impossible.
And it's not like I'm in a bad position to start making big changes, either. I'm nowhere near socially inept, and my testing(I'm really sorry if this comes off as bragging I'm just trying to offer perspective) placed me 100% passing the national scores in areas of Reading, Rhetoric and Science, pic related is part of the digital transcript from the test I took years ago. I do not remember what the test wads, only that it was touted as some shit similar to state testing.
So it's a very hard thing for me to say, "Oh I cant do anything about this." I want to help my nation, whether it needs to burn first or it is salvageable. And I personally believe my deillema is that I'm unsure of if I want to sacrifice my potenmtial happiness to aid the US in recovery, as ludicrous as that is, for a big payoff at the end, or just try to cop a normalfag way of life and find things to appreciate.
But I really dont want to just be another brick in the wall, and thats the thought that tends me to haunt the most. Fading out into obscurity and mediocrity, knowing very well I couldve done a lot with my ability.
>>110082392 >I want to help my nation, whether it needs to burn first or it is salvageable. Find an opportunity, latch onto it, and run with it. Seriously, just do it. The world will look completely different once you're caught up in something.
From one angry anon that is relentlessly anger to another, it gets better. You've found a part of the reason you're angry, but it probably goes even deeper than that. If you're like me, it won't go away, so do something constructive with it. Get involved and do shit that relieves the pressure that the anger creates. That'll help a lot, I think. Find a negative to be angry at, and direct your anger at it.
As for the hedgehog's dilemma, I think you misunderstood it. You think people suck and aren't worth the trouble. You got close and got hurt. At least, that's what it sounds like to me, anon.
It gets better. The ride never ends, but it gets better.
this show and manga blew my mind, stopped me from being a depressed bastard and going around shagging anything with a pulse, put my life back on track with getting a better job and better outlook on life, defiantly changed my life, such a shame it has finished.
>>110071848 This one here there have been others that have given a similar effect but this was the first time I had truly asked myself the question. "Have I ever even in love with someone" or "do I even know the definition of love and am I even capable of doing so?" My mind has been switched off for a very long time and only know has it come back, and now I would like to at least try. But for all intents and purposes I do not know of where to begin, I would like to at least show that I am a different person, that I do have a heart. That I am not a soulless automaton that I have been acting as for so long.
Clannad and Clannad: After Story, obviously. I watched it as I had a hard time with my parents, no friends and no life at all. This made me realize how much I should value family and friendship. Also it took me out of my depression, which is why I consider it as something special for me. And it made me evntually search for a gf.
>inb4 Clannad iz for fags
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